Only Fools - Chapter 11: Chapter 11

Alex: Happy Birthday, sis.
Me: Did you remember all by yourself or did dad have to remind you??
Alex: yee of little faith.
Me: So dad reminded you.
Alex: college is hectic.
Me: Too hectic to remember your little sister's birthday??
Alex: you know I love you, As.
Me: Sometimes I doubt it.
Alex: whatever. I'll text you on whatever's next. Thanksgiving?
Me: Yeah. You aren't coming home??
Alex: I wish I could but you'll have to wait until Christmas to be graced with my presence.
Me: Graced?? More like burdened.
Alex: you love me.
Me: Sometimes.
With a smile, I slip my phone into my pocket before heading downstairs in sweats, not actually planning on going to school today. One of the first things that I notice when I step into the kitchen is my father's signature communication method, writing on a paper plate.
Hey kiddo
Happy birthday! 17? I swear you're growing up way too fast. I'm definitely going to have to start banning these birthdays before they get out of hand.
I'm so sorry I'm not home right now. I was called into work, but I'll try to make it home to celebrate with you tonight. I know today is hard for you, but I know you're strong and you'll be fine.
Love you,
Dad
My reaction to the note is mixed as I feel the love from my dad and am reminded of the loss of love from my mom at the same time. As I take a seat at the small kitchen table, my mind wanders to the past years my birthday was celebrated, when my mom was here. She always made a big deal about everyone's birthday. She would get up extra early to make them a special breakfast and would have decorated when everyone was asleep the night before. She used to remind me that someone's birthday isn't just to remind them that they're a year older, but for those around them to show their thankfulness and love that they're there. That's probably why I was so shocked that morning four years ago.
All I can remember is running downstairs with a wide smile on my face, expecting decorations and waffles. What I got instead was a quiet house. My dad was on the couch in the living room with his head clutched in his hands and a piece of paper crumbled up next to him. That was one of the few times I remember seeing my dad cry. And I didn't even comfort him but instead ran to get comfort for myself. Alex was fifteen at the time and was still asleep upstairs. His introduction to the situation was me shaking him awake with tears in my eyes. We both stayed home from school that day. Alex was set on trying to make the day normal for me so he picked Ivy up from her house and we watched my favorite movies and ate store bought cake all night. Dad shut himself in his room and didn't come out until later that night with guilt in his eyes as he hugged me and wished me a happy birthday.
Though I could sense that my mother had withdrawn herself more than usual, there were no true warning signs. The day before had been just like any other day. My parents went to work. Alex and I went to school. We had a family dinner that evening. The conversation was no more interesting or less interesting than usual. And when I said good night to my mom, she even told me how excited she was for my birthday. Though now I wonder if she was actually excited for me or just for herself.
It's then that I hear a knock on the door that I was in no way expecting, interrupting my thoughts. It happens again before I'm able to open the door to reveal Ivy standing there with a worried expression on her face.
"What the fuck are you doing here? It's 10am. You should be at school right now," I ask her.
"So should you," she retorts back.
"And? I'm a rule breaker. You're a rule follower,"
"You are not a rule breaker. You live life on the edge only to the point where you won't get in trouble," Ivy says, truly displaying that she knows me better than anyone.
"And you're even worse than me so what does that say about you, goody two shoes?"
"I mean, I can always just leave if you're going to treat me like this today," Ivy says to which I roll my eyes in response.
"Stop," I quickly tell Ivy before I let out a sigh, "don't go. You know I love and appreciate you."
Ivy just hums in response as she kicks her shoes off of her feet and enters the living room.
"What movies did you bring?" I ask her as I take in the dvd cases clutched tightly in her hands.
"The same movies we watch every year. Were you expecting different for any reason?"
"Wow. Ivy is coming at me full swing with the sass today. What happened to you?"
Ivy doesn't answer me as she rolls her eyes and pushes past me to get to her usual spot on the couch.
"Well then I suppose the real question we should be asking is what order to watch them in," I tell her.
"Traditional order?" she offers.
"Ah. So the 'watch all the Insidious movies but sandwich Charlie and the Chocolate Factory in the middle because Ivy always gets too scared," I say jokingly, though it's quite honestly pretty true.
"Horror movies don't bother me that much anymore," Ivy tries to defend herself.
"Oh, don't group all horror movies together like that. And don't use these four to prove that they all don't bother you anymore. I honestly don't think they count. You've seen them so many times,"
"This will be the fifth year of the tradition. So not really,"
"So you just casually watch all movies at least four times then? That's normal for you?" I tease her. Ivy just throws the DVD case of the first Insidious movie at me which I luckily catch despite her terrible aim. Thank goodness she isn't quarterback.
Without saying anything else, I place the movie in the DVD player and proceed to start the movie before turning off the lights and plopping down onto the couch next to the best friend who I could only wish liked me in the same way I like her.
As I turn to look at Ivy, I notice her already looking at me.
"What?" I ask her, slightly defensively.
"Nothing. Just.... How are you doing today? I don't think I asked yet," Ivy says, care and concern clearly within her tone.
"I mean.... I'm fine," I settle. Ivy lets out a sigh before reaching over me to grab the remote and pausing the movie.
"It hasn't even started yet and you're already pausing it?" I ask her more so in a joking tone as an attempt to change the topic that I already know will fail.
"Stop, Aspen. Talk to me. That's what I'm here for,"
"Wow. And I thought you were just here for the food and my killer one liners. Good to know,"
Ivy just ignores me and gives me a pointed look, not even taking the many opportunities to roast me that I gave her just within that one sentence.
"I just don't exactly like the fact that I still miss her. That's all," I reluctantly tell Ivy.
"She's your mom, Aspen. Of course you miss her," Ivy tries to reassure me, but for some reason it just doesn't feel right.
"I guess you're right," I tell her as I'm not exactly sure of what else to say. I can't believe that it's as simple as Ivy words it. I do miss her because she's my mother. I miss the memories I had with her and the person she was. But shouldn't I at least be resentful enough not to anymore? Nonetheless, I just grab the remote from Ivy's hand and play the movie, successfully ending the conversation. I rest my head on Ivy's shoulder which prompts her to then rest hers on top of mine. And the conversation slips out of my mind as if it never happened.
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Letting out a sigh of annoyance I pause Charlie and the Chocolate Factory as I hear a knock on the front door. I look at Ivy helplessly, not wanting to get up, but she just shakes her head in response.
"It's your house, so you get to answer the door," she tells me. I roll my eyes at her before pushing myself off the couch and walking over to the front door, sending Ivy one last helpless look before opening it.
"Hi, Aspen," Margot says as soon as my eyes land on her.
"Um. Hi?" I say, slightly confused as to why she's here right now or even how she knew how to get here in the first place, never having been to my house before.
"Naomi told me how to get here. And.... you weren't at school today,"
"A keen observation," I say, cracking a smile.
"Aspen. Are you ok?" Margot asks me, suddenly more serious than she was before, perhaps sensing that I really wasn't ok. Not that I would tell her that.
"I'm fine," I say softly, figuring it's the surest way to convince her that my lies are true. Though with a quick glance back at Ivy, it suddenly becomes less of a lie.
"Oh. Well, happy birthday," Margot says awkwardly as she pulls out a CD case from behind her back and extends it out to me, though with a closer look I realize that it's all black except for my name neatly written on with a silver marker.
"You remembered!" I say happily as I look back up at her to see a wide smile reach her face.
"Of course I did,"
I take the CD case from her hand and begin to flip it around, inspecting it.
"It's just a CD I made to help improve your terrible music taste. Naomi said you had a CD player?"
"I do. But terrible music taste? You didn't have to do me like that,"
"I only speak the truth,"
"Oh, I doubt that,"
Margot just rolls her eyes at me, but the smile doesn't disappear from her face.
"Hey, Margot. Right?"
I hear Ivy's voice resound behind me before she suddenly puts her arm around me which causes for butterflies to erupt in my stomach, as cheesy as it sounds. I give her a questioning look and use my eyes to gesture to her arm.
"Yeah. And you're Ivy right?" Margot questions her in response.
"Yeah. Aspen's best friend," Ivy says before squeezing my shoulder. My cheeks heat up and I have to look down at the ground quickly before I can look back up at her again in order to yet again question her motives for putting her arm around me like she is, though I clearly have my own hopes for what it could mean.
"Yeah. Aspen's mentioned you a couple times actually," Margot says with a smile as she glances back over at me.
"Good," Ivy smirks before letting her arm drop and turning around to walk back into the living room.
"Well, I think I'll leave you two now. Happy birthday, Aspen," Margot tells me before turning around. I mean to say something to her as she walks away, but the image of Ivy waiting for me takes precedent and all I can do is watch her receding figure until she gets in her car and I finally decide to shut the door.
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"Hey, kiddo. I'm home," I hear my dad call to me before the sound of the front door slamming closed echoes throughout the house.
"Is Ivy here?" he questions me.
"Hey, Mr. Grayson," Ivy says from beside me.
"Hello, Ivy," my dad says as he peaks his head into the living room, "and happy birthday, Aspen."
I smile at his words as I pause the movie and get up to give him a quick hug.
"Wow. You're seventeen already, aren't you? Making me feel old," my dad jokes as he pulls away from the hug and walks into the kitchen. I roll my eyes at him as I yet again take my seat next to Ivy. I play the movie, but it's not even five minutes before my dad calls me into the kitchen.
"What do you want now?" I ask him jokingly as I walk into the kitchen, only to find him with a small birthday cake and lit candles on it. My ears are then bombarded with the sound of both my dad in front of me and Ivy behind me singing "happy birthday" extremely off key.
As I glance back and forth at them, I can't help but smile. My mother may have brought me into this world, but I know who my true family is. Family is those who don't leave your side and are always there for you. Family is those who make time for you because they love you whether it's sending you a text so you know they care, or clearing their entire afternoon for your much needed movie marathon. Family is those who go beyond bloodlines and relations. Family doesn't ever walk out because they know your importance.