Only Fools - Chapter 16: Chapter 16

"Hey, lil sis," Alex yells over FaceTime, his face glitching slightly on the screen of my dad's laptop. I smile at the sight of my older brother who I haven't seen in months.
"Hey, Al," I say as I carry the laptop into the dining room and place him at the head of the table. Alex narrows his eyes at the nickname, but is clearly too excited to see us to stop smiling.
"Alex!" my dad exclaims as he walks into the dining room, store bought rotisserie chicken in hand since he's the only one currently residing under this roof who actually likes turkey.
"Hey, dad. Store bought chicken again?" Alex asks with a chuckle.
"Yeah. I'm pretty sure that what Aspen and I are most thankful for today is that I didn't attempt to cook this dinner," my dad says with a laugh. Alex and I both crack a smile at the joke.
"Yeah because if your chicken cooking skills are anything similar to your spaghetti making skills, there'd be no edible food for us," I tell him.
"Oh shush, Aspen. You were too young to actually remember that happening," Alex says as he motions his hand at me, as if waving me off.
"I've heard the story enough times," I say with a shrug.
"Hey. So what if I learned the hard way that every box of noodles is different?" our dad tries to defend himself.
"One box said the noodles needed to be cooked for four minutes, the other needed to be cooked for eight. You cooked them for six minutes. I'm not sure a single noodle actually tasted right. They were all really undercooked or over cooked," Alex recalls with a laugh.
"But you see, that was a learning experience. Made me a better chef.... maybe I will cook thanksgiving dinner next year,"
"Thank goodness I'm graduating this year," I say with a sigh of relief. My dad just chuckles at my comment as he shakes his head.
"I can't believe my little girl is growing up," he says with a hint of sadness in his voice.
"Dad," I drag out.
"I'm sorry. I just really don't want my little girl to leave me," he explains.
"Hey. If I remember correctly, you just shipped me off. Now you're getting emotional about Aspen? What's that about?" Alex demands.
"Eh," my dad just says as he waves his hand in dismissal at Alex. Alex's mouth drops open, clearly at least slightly offended by the comment, which then causes for my dad to crack a smile.
"Oh, you know I'm joking, kiddo. You know I miss you," my dad tells him.
"You better. Otherwise I might have to rethink coming home for Christmas break," Alex says.
"So that's a for sure thing them? You'll be home?" our dad double checks.
"Yes," Alex rolls his eyes as my dad simultaneously lets out a cheer in excitement and I let out a groan in fake disapproval. And while dad shoots me a warning look, Alex smiles, knowing that I'm not being serious and I miss him too.
"Well, should we dig in?" my brother asks. I nod my head enthusiastically, but as I look over at our dad, he doesn't have quite the same response.
"Aren't we going to go around and say what we're thankful for? It's tradition," he reminds us. Both Alex and I let out a sigh, knowing how important tradition is to him, and so we go along with it.
"You can start, dad," I tell my father to which he nods in response before looking down at his hands.
"Well, ok. I'm thankful for the food on this table, the roof over our heads, the fact that Alex somehow got into college and hasn't flunked out yet, grocery store bought rotisserie chicken so I don't have to burn the house down cooking by myself.... But most of all, I'm thankful for my kids. You two are the lights in my life and I couldn't have wished for any better because there wouldn't be such a thing. I love you two," he says, his eyes slightly misty as he finishes.
"We're thankful for you too dad," Alex says through the iPad.
"Yeah. We love you so much," I say. Our dad smiles as he nods and looks back and forth between us.
"Should we get eating then?"
Alex and I both happily nod at his suggestion, mostly happy that we got out of saying what we're thankful for as we know there's no way we could've topped our father.
I hastily pull a chicken leg onto my plate, followed by scoops of stuffing and green beans, and as I shovel my first few bites into my mouth, I can't help but realize how much I'm also thankful for grocery stores in these times.
"This is so good dad," I reassure my father who sits right across from me, knowing that he's probably already worrying over if I'm enjoying my meal or not.
"What about you, Alex?" he asks.
"Huh?" Alex asks, caught off guard as he snaps his attention away from his food.
"Are you enjoying your meal?" dad asks him.
"Oh yeah. Let's just say I'm really thankful for Arby's," Alex says between bites.
"Arby's?"
"Yeah. But don't worry, dad. The sandwich has turkey on it so I'm honestly doing even better than you two right now,"
I just roll my eyes at my brother before continuing to eat my meal.
"You sure it's good?" dad double checks with me.
"Yes. It's great," I emphasize.
"Alright. Because I know it's not your mother's cooking.... but...." he trails off.
"It's alright, dad. It's not even mom's cooking that we miss. It's her mom's cooking that we're really missing out on," I tell him, trying simultaneously bring the mood up and steer the topic away from Alex and I's mother.
"We've never even gone there for Thanksgiving," dad points out.
"But still!" I exclaim.
"The Pancit!"Alex says with
"The Pancit!" I emphasize.
"What about grandma's cooking? We've gone over there for Thanksgiving before. Also, I thought you loved her pierogis," my dad asks us, seeming slightly offended.
"Yes. Her pierogis are heavenly, but she can't cook turkey to save her life,"
"Or any other meat," Alex adds on to which I nod in agreement.
"Also, the Pancit!" Alex emphasizes yet again.
I nod enthusiastically.
"You kids are strange," dad says with a laugh, clearly having already forgotten about mom, the one topic Alex and I agreed to keep him away from at all costs tonight.
"So, Aspen. Any boys I have to be worried about yet?" my brother teases me with a smile.
"So, Alex. Any girls I have to be worried about yet?" I snap back at him in return, obviously annoyed by his question.
"I'm an adult. I don't have to answer to anyone. Also, you didn't answer my question...." Alex continues on, clearly not taking my hint.
"I-"
I begin to speak but my dad cuts me off as he clears his throat.
"Aspen. You don't have to answer that. Your brother is just being nosy. And Alex, yes you are an adult but you still have to answer to me. Remember that," dad tries to mediate things between us.
"Oh. So there is something to tell," Alex says mischievously, displaying clearly the only thing he gathered from dad's words. I stay silent as I roll my eyes, knowing my dad will tell him what he believes to be a "blossoming relationship" despite the lack of need to.
"Aspen went to homecoming with Dustin this year," dad finally fills him in.
"Ooh. Dustin? I guess I can see it. You two have been friends forever,"
"And we went to homecoming as friends," I say, annoyed by my family trying to pry so much into my life.
"Sure, Aspen. I totally believe you," Alex continues to tease me. I just roll my eyes at him.
"How's school going, Alex?" our dad pipes up as an attempt to change the conversation so that we don't start a fight.
"Football is going great. I know you've probably been keeping up with everything but-"
"I didn't ask how football was going, Alex. How's school going?" dad repeats himself.
"Yeah. But I'm at the school because of a football scholarship so...."
"And this is why we say your sister got all the brains," dad says with a disappointed sigh.
"But I got the looks. So who's really winning here?"
I just ignore my brother and opt to roll my eyes instead. A silence soon settles upon the table as everyone turns their attention back to their meal. Mom was always the one to keep the conversations going.
————
"Wow. You guys didn't get in a huge fight this year. I can't believe I'm going to say this, but I'm proud," our dad says with a laugh as he collects both his and my plate and silverware and takes them to the kitchen.
"Did you want us to? Because I could definitely find something to pick on him for," I loudly offer so that he can hear me.
"And I could come up with a witty comeback," Alex claims.
"Oh, you'd come up with a comeback, but you're hardly smart enough to make it witty,"
"I-"
"Ok. I just complimented you two on not fighting. Don't start," my dad says with a small smile, clearly amused by our antics.
Alex and I both go silent.
"Dad? Would it be alright if I went over to Ivy's?"
My dad looks at me for a moment before nodding.
"Yeah. Go ahead. But you might want to say goodbye to your brother now because I don't know what time you'll be getting back," dad tells me.
I nod before I turn to the computer that Alex is displayed on.
"Bye, lil sis. I'm happy I called in just so that my little sister could be unappreciative and leave before the FaceTime ends," Alex says sarcastically, though I know him well enough to realize he's not seriously hurt but is just giving me a hard time.
"Bye, Al. See you at Christmas,"
"If you keep using that nickname you won't, Ass,"
"Alex, language,"
"That's hardly anything,"
I just shake my head at my family with a smile on my face as I grab my car keys and walk out the front door.
The drive to Ivy's is lonely and quiet, contrasted with the time I just spent with my family.
As soon as I walk up to the door of Ivy's house, I can hear the ruckus going on inside and I can't help but smile. I barely begin to ring the doorbell before the door is suddenly swung open and Itch is standing there with wide eyes and a smile.
"How did you know I was out here?" I ask the boy as I ruffle his hair.
"I sensed you," he answers me way too seriously for my liking.
"Oh," I say quietly, not quite sure how else to respond.
"Sorry about him," Ivy cuts in as she pushes Itch behind herself so that she can stand in the doorway, "he saw your car pulling up from out the window."
"Ok. As long as there isn't some weird demon shit going on here, then I think I'm good,"
Ivy shoots me a warning glare for my cussing, but motions for me to come inside nevertheless.
"Hey, Aspen," a voice almost immediately resounds as I enter into the house. A pang of pain is sent through my heart as I look up to see Jax sitting on the living room couch and two kids I've never met before, who I assume to be his siblings, running around with Itch and the twins.
"Jaxon," I greet the boy rather curtly, not even trying to hide my desire that he wasn't here to begin with.
"Oh yes. Jax is here, Aspen. His parents are out of town and he was going to have a crappy Thanksgiving by himself so I invited him over here," Ivy explains.
"I see that," I say as I offer him a forced smile for her sake.
"Look, Aspen. This is Cora. She's my new girlfriend," Itch announced proudly as he points to a young girl who I originally assumed to be Jax's sibling but with a closer look actually looks nothing like him.
"New girlfriend?" I question rather incredulously.
"He's lying. We met today and we're barely friends. I'm Jax's sister by the way. Nice to meet you," Cora says, shaking my hand rather politely. It isn't until Ivy mouths the word "adopted" to me that my brain finally begins to work again. While they both share a similar coloring of dark hair, which threw me off originally, Jax is as pale and white as can be while Cora is clearly Hispanic, sharing no common features whatsoever with each other, while Jax's other sibling quite clearly looks like a little Jaxon.
"You got any of your famous dessert?" I question my best friend.
"Yeah. I made some pumpkin pie. There should be some left on the counter," Ivy says pointing vaguely in the direction of the kitchen. As I enter the kitchen, that's when I run into Ivy's parents, Mr. Charleston loading the dishes from their Thanksgiving meal into the dishwasher while Mrs. Charleston leans against the counter, both speaking to each other in hushed voices.
"Hey, Mr. and Mrs. Charleston," I greet the two with a smile.
"Hello, Aspen. How was your Thanksgiving?" Mrs. Charleston happily responds.
"It was great. Thank you. Do you mind if I take this?" I ask, motioning to the pie dish with only one slice left in it.
"Of course not, Aspen. Besides, it was either I try to eat it on a stuffed stomach or the kids fight over it once they realize it's here in a few minutes," Mrs. Charleston says with a laugh. I crack a smile at her comment.
"Thanks then. Have a nice rest of your Thanksgiving," I say with a small wave.
"You too, sweetie,"
And so I grab the pie dish and a fork from the drawer right below it and make my way back to the living room, however the scene within it stops me in the doorway. Ivy is thrown over Jax's shoulder, laughing her head off as he swings her around with one of the widest smiles I've ever seen on his face. Half the kids are cheering Jax on while the others are hitting him with pillows, trying to get him to release my best friend. And so he finally gives in and pulls Ivy down from his shoulder so that she's standing in front of him, his hands on her waist while hers, wrapped around his neck.
My heart nearly stops at the sight before the pain returns. My throat closes up, preventing me from saying anything, that is, if I was actually able to form any sort of thought right now, more specifically thoughts that aren't fully consumed by jealousy over the situation and fear of heartbreak soon to come.
But then Ivy pushes him away.... She pushes him away and turns to face me, her smile faltering slightly as she notices me in the doorway. It doesn't help though. The pain in my heart won't recede even if nothing happened, because there might be more to their friendship than I had originally thought.
"Hey. You're back," she says excitedly as she hurries over to me, abandoning Jax behind her.
"Yeah. I've gotta go though," I quickly excuse myself.
"What? You've barely been here five minutes. Did you only come for the dessert or something," Ivy asks me, sounding slightly offended. And I can't help but realize it would only hurt me more if I hurt her feelings. That's one thing I definitely don't want to do.
"No. I'm so sorry. My brother came in to town for the holiday and I should probably get back home to spend more time with him. I just at least wanted to stop by to say hi," I explain to her, though it's more like I lie to her. The only truthful part of my explanation was the apology. Because I am sorry for hurting her for even a millisecond.
"Oh. And he didn't think to come by to visit me?" Ivy asks me. Alex was a mentor to Ivy when she first started football and one of the first people to believe in her dreams to actually play. They never got to be as close as her and me by any means, but they are friends for sure. And I almost slap myself for overlooking that.
"Oh. Yeah. He wasn't planning on being here that long and I know he already planned on visiting some other old friends. Maybe he just assumed you'd be busy," I offer with a shrug.
"Maybe...." Ivy trails off.
"Well, I'll see you later?"
"Yeah. I'll see you later, bird," Ivy says with a smile before walking me out of the door. I keep the smile on my face for a couple minutes, but I'm eventually caught parking on the side of the street about a block away, tears streaming down my face as I begin to realize just how hopeless my crush on my best friend actually is. And yet I still won't give up hope. She pushed him away from her and turned to find me. That had to have meant something.
Me: Can I come over??
————
"What's wrong?" Naomi asks me as soon as she opens her door, hugging me tightly as she pulls me into the house. I don't answer her, but instead sob into her shoulder, knowing that she'll be here for me.
"I'm sorry," I say after a few minutes as I pull away from her and vigorously wipe the tears away from my eyes.
"No. Stop. Don't be sorry," Naomi reassures me.
"No. It's just. It's stupid,"
"Knowing you, you wouldn't be crying over something 'stupid'," Naomi tells me. She then sinks down to the floor to sit against the wall right by the door that I just got let in and pats the spot next to her. Hesitantly, I sit down and turn to face her.
"So?" she tries to get me to talk.
"It's Ivy," I confess.
"What about her?" Naomi asks with furrowed eyebrows.
"Am I really that hopeless?"
"You mean is your crush really that hopeless?" Naomi clarifies. I nod in response but don't say anything else.
"I'm not totally sure. I mean, I really don't know Ivy as well as you do. But I do notice how happy you two always are around each other and how much you depend on each other. Whether that's romantic or just friendly, I'm not completely sure. But you two clearly care about each other and have such a strong relationship that I'm even jealous of it sometimes. So I don't think it's totally hopeless. I just know you and I know that the risks you need to take to finally figure it all out are ones you won't take,"
I let out a sigh at her response, knowing that she's right.
"What prompted this?" she asks after a moment of silence.
"I was at Ivy's before I came here. And Jaxon was there with two of his siblings for Thanksgiving. And it just- it looked like they were about it kiss at one point and I guess it just shook me up a little bit. I mean, they were so close and- and...."
Naomi gives my shoulder a reassuring squeeze, prompting me to take a deep breath before continuing.
"She pushed him away and turned to find me. And I get that nothing happened, but it seemed so close to happening in the moment and I could perfectly envision it and.... the pain I felt in my chest was so strong. I was jealous and afraid something was going to happen and it just built up.... until I just couldn't handle it anymore," I finish. And Naomi just pulls me into another hug as I probably seem like I really need one right now, and that wouldn't be a total lie.
"She pulled away from him right? Focus on the positive, Aspen. The negative is only going to get you down. And let's say the worst case scenario happened. They got together. You would move on and be fine. You're strong," Naomi tries to reassure me, but the entire time my brain just turns into a photo reel of my best friend except the memory of Jax and Ivy is there too, inserting itself where it doesn't need to be.
"I try to be," I say into her shoulder. And she just continues to rub my back as I try to be hopeful for the future.
————
As I walk through the front door of my house, I notice a text from Alex from hours earlier.
Alex: That was pretty successful.
Me: What do you mean??
Alex: We steered pretty clear of mom didn't we?
Me: I suppose so.
But just as my text sends through, I decide to walk into the living room to be greeted by an all to familiar sight. As I pull the beer bottle out of my dad's hand and take it to the kitchen, I reopen my text messages with Alex.
Me: Never mind.
I take a sip of the alcohol and can't help but silently wish I had steered clear of Ivy tonight, but quickly put the bottle down and shake my head at the thought. I'm not sure I could ever genuinely wish to stay away from that girl, she's too addictive.