Only Fools - Chapter 31: Chapter 31

"Fuck me with a ton of bricks," I groan to Tori as I take a seat in our first hour class which sadly remained as calculus.
"You're clearly not a morning person," I hear a voice resound from behind me. Upon flipping around in my seat, slightly startled by the voice, I find Margot sitting there with a smirk on her lips. Her hair is pulled back into a loose braid and her uniform is wrinkled and slightly oversized, clearly not taken care of.
"And you are?" I ask her in slight amazement.
"No, but I'm not as bad as you are, clearly," Margot quips back.
"That's not saying much," I say before turning back around in my seat. Then something dawns on me, causing me to turn back to look at the girl again.
"You're in this hour now?" I ask her.
"Yeah. Schedules change second semester. Did you not know?"
"Smartass," I say with an eye roll as I turn around. While my brain tells me that I don't want to deal with her this early in the morning, the small smile playing on my lips says otherwise.
"Hey, Tori," I greet my friend sweetly, mostly just to rub it in Margot's face that she pissed me off so I'm not talking to her right now.
"Hi?" she responds as she turns around in her seat to face me.
"How was your break?" I attempt to start up the conversation. Tori rolls her eyes at me and I quite honestly can already predict her response.
"Natalia came home for Christmas so I'm sure you can guess how that went. 'Victoria, look how successful Natalia is'. 'Victoria, why can't you be more like your sister, she set such a good example'. I love her, I swear, but I just wish she didn't come home sometimes," Tori says with a sigh. I nod my head, knowing her situation all too well.
Tori's older sister Natalia is one of the best surgeons in the state and when Tori came along, her parents just expected her to follow in her sister's footsteps. After seeing that Tori wasn't succeeding in the same way Natalia had in her school, they moved Tori to the lovely private school we attend in an attempt to "set her on the right path". It didn't really work and her parents learned to mostly accept it, that is, until Natalia visits and reminds them of all her success and, consequently, Tori's "failures".
"I'm sorry, dude," I tell her, not sure what else to say because it's just a common situation at this point. Tori just shrugs in response, before looking back up at me, eyes widened slightly.
"Wait. Is your brother still home for the holidays?" Tori asks me before wiggling her eyebrows. I groan at her question.
"I told you, Tori. Alex is off limits. Always has been and always will be,"
Tori just smiles at my statement before shaking her head, chuckling to herself.
"I was just messing with you, Cap. He's not really my type anyways,"
"Your type? You mean Keegan right?" I ask her with a smirk, raising my eyebrows slightly. Tori's cheeks burn red at my implication.
"We're just friends," she tells me in a rather deadpanned tone. I wiggle my eyebrows suggestively, prompting her to flip me off before turning back around in her seat and pulling out her phone, clearly intending on ignoring me for a while.
Glancing up at the clock on the wall, I almost let out a groan when I realize there is still another couple minutes until class starts. And so begrudgingly, I turn back around to look at Margot who's already looking at me with her arms crossed over her chest, as if expecting this was going to happen.
"Back so soon?" she asks me, a smirk slipping onto her lips.
"I guess I just can't resist you,"
"It's ok. Not many people can,"
I let out a small snort at her statement.
"Hey. There's no need to be jealous," she tells me.
"Well, duh. I already called dibs on you," I say with an eyeroll as if such things were obvious.
However, before Margot can even respond to me, the bell rings, prompting for Mr. Todd to begin today's class. I try to focus on the lesson, but my brain seems to wander somewhere else every few seconds. The clock seems to tick by slower than usual, and when I get called on to answer a question, I just remain silent and shake my head, prompting a snicker to resound from Margot behind me.
"You're the one who's supposed to be teaching me this shit," I hiss to the girl once Mr. Todd moves on and asks the question to someone else who quickly gives him a correct response. Show off.
"Last time I checked, I already taught you this stuff. Too distracted by my presence, Grayson?" Margot whispers back, and even if I don't turn around to look at her, I know there's a smirk on her lips.
"Actually, yeah," I say in order to jokingly flirt with the girl, turning around to send her a wink that makes her eyes widen, but not staying turned around facing her long enough to actually gage her reaction.
"Aspen," I hear Tori hiss from in front of me before she passes back a couple copies of a worksheet that I wasn't actually prepared to receive. I must've really zoned out to miss this. So after handing a worksheet back to Margot, I decide to attempt to tune back in to the class, figuring I most likely already missed enough.
"You can work on this with one other person if you'd like or you can do it by yourself. I'll be walking around if anyone has any questions, but this class will just be used for practice. Because as I always tell you guys, practice doesn't make perfect, but it does make permanence.... Ok,"
Mr. Todd then walks away from the front of the classroom, over to one of my classmates in the back corner who somehow already has a question.
"You gonna ditch me for your tutor?" Tori whispers as she turns around to face me. I raise an eyebrow at the girl.
"You act like you were actually going to do the worksheet," I tease my friend. Tori smiles at my words in a rather mischievous manner.
"You know me so well," Tori says as she pulls her phone out of her pocket and begins to respond to whatever messages she already somehow has.
"I should hope so, Victoria,"
Tori cringed at the use of her full name before whipping back around in her seat, leaving a satisfied smile on my face. I then turn around in my seat to face the curly haired girl that sits behind me, and my eyes are almost immediately drawn to the worksheet on top of her desk that already has several problems completed.
"Holy shit. Wait for me, maybe?"
Margot's head snaps up and she looks slightly confused by my words.
"You're not working with Tori?" she asks me.
"And miss the chance to copy all your answers?" I joke as I set my paper down on her desk and then spin hers around out of her grasp so that I can write down what she already has. And yet before my pencil can even meet the paper, she covers her work with her hand and shakes her head.
"No, you're going to work for these answers,"
"Hardass," I mutter under my breath. Margot hums in response, clearly not paying any mind to my name calling. And despite my name calling, I do the work anyways, meaning that I do one problem and then slam my pencil down on my desk in defeat. Margot gives me a questioning look before scanning her eyes over my paper.
"You did it right. What's up?"
I groan at her question.
"Took too long,"
"It's gonna take longer if you throw this little fit after every problem," Margot says with a shrug, not even bothering to look up from her paper.
"Wow. I'm sorry, ma'am. I didn't know you had such a big stick shoved up your ass today," I say, narrowing my eyes at her.
"Or it could just be that you're somehow managing to be extra annoying today," Margot snaps back at me. My eyes widen at her words and I freeze for a moment before grabbing my paper and turning back around in my seat, trying not to be that hurt by her words.
Extra annoying? Does that mean I'm always annoying then? Does she actually not want to be my friend and just puts up with me as an attempt to be a nice person?
The thoughts weigh heavy on my chest.
"Shit," I hear Margot mumble from behind me. I opt to ignore her, assuming that she might have just messed up a problem.
"Aspen," Margot calls my name softly. I don't turn around. Her words just keep echoing around my head.
"Aspen. I'm sorry. I swear to god I wouldn't hang out with you if you were annoying. I don't know why I said that," Margot tries to explain to me. And quite honestly, I immediately believe her, but don't really want to give in so soon.
"I mean. Ok, there was some truth to it. You are a little annoying at times," Margot admits with a sigh. Maybe I shouldn't have let her keep going?
"But it's not a bad thing. It's really kind of cute.... the best analogy I can think of is like a puppy, but that's a little weird so just take my word for it?"
I raise my eyebrows at her explanation but still don't turn around, now even more curious as to where this will go.
"Shit. Ok, if you turn back around we don't have to do the worksheet anymore," Margot suggests, a tempting offer. Let's see how far I can go with this bargain.
"We can literally just talk about One Direction. I mean, fucking rate your favorite songs and I'll take notes or something,"
She's clearly desperate, an interesting thing to hear. But I scoff at her words, which should grab her attention.
"What?" she asks me, and I can hear slight relief in her voice. I whip around to face her with rather calculating eyes.
"I don't rate the masterpieces that are One Direction songs, Margot," I put extra emphasis on her name at the end, as if telling her off.
"I thought you said Happily was your favorite?" she asks me. I melt slightly at the realization that she actually remembered that, but quickly compose myself.
"That's the only exception," I inform her. She nods at my words, a small smile slipping into her face.
"Well, what do you want to talk about then?" she offers.
"Is Margot May intending on distracting me from my work for the rest of class?" I ask Margot in a tone of mocking disbelief.
"I'll just tutor you on it later,"
————
"Shit, god really came through when I needed her," Harrison exclaims to me as I walk into my second hour, English.
"Her?" I ask a valid question given our current Catholic school location. Harrison just raises his eyebrows at me, as if daring me to question him further. And so I don't. I would never admit it out loud, but the boy scares me just a little bit.
"So, how did god come through for you....?" I attempt to step away from my question.
"I didn't think I was going to know anyone in this class! Raider switched hours last minute, and I got in a fight with Vanessa last week so that's off the table," he explains before nodding his head towards a bleach blonde girl who's laughing, surrounded by a couple friends.
"Lucky me," I say sarcastically before taking the seat behind him.
"I'm going to be what makes this class fun. You're welcome," Harrison says with an eye roll, bringing a small smile to my face.
"So.... how was first hour with Margot," Harrison asks me, wiggling his eyebrows. I furrow my eyebrows at him in confusion.
"What do you mean? It was calculus and therefore terrible," I state as if it's the most obvious thing in the world, which it should be.
"Yeah, but Margot's in your class now," Harrison says in a suggestive tone and even I can't ignore.
"I guess it's nice to have another friend in the class?" I respond, trying to emphasize the "friend" part because I'm honestly not sure what's going on here.
"Oh shit. Are you two actually just friends? You're just totally her type so I thought-"
"Her type?" I ask him, cutting him off.
"Fuck. She didn't.... Oh, look. Class is starting," Harrison says in a hurry before turning back around in his seat and suddenly paying extremely close attention to his planner.
Class doesn't start for two more minutes.
But I don't try to talk to the boy again. Too many thoughts are racing through my mind.
I can't be Margot's type. We literally became friends because I helped her pull a revenge prank on her ex-boyfriend, for fucks sake. I'm an entirely different gender from him, so I don't understand how I could-
....Margot's not straight.
My eyes widen at the realization and it's then that the bell decides to ring, signaling the beginning of the class.
Throughout the entire class, all I can think about is Margot. I can't help but try to put every piece of the puzzle that she is together and the news that was just given to me changes a couple of perceptions I previously held.
The one the runs through my mind the most is the story she told me about her friend Nick. Margot didn't reject the girl because she was straight. She did so because she must have just specifically not liked her like that. My stomach drops slightly when I realize how much I can relate to this girl.
Understanding that Ivy was straight would've been one thing because I would have just accepted that it could never happen. She wouldn't have been wired to be attracted to me that way. Sure, it would've still hurt, but there was nothing I'd be able to do about it.
Knowing that my best friend isn't so straight.... I can't help but feel it's completely my fault. There's something about me that just doesn't allow her to like me like that.
So even if I haven't met Nick, I can't help but sympathize with her. I also understand why she left Margot, despite still hating the idea that she hurt my friend. And upon coming to this understanding, I can't help but hate myself for being able to do so. I never want to walk away from Ivy and I's friendship, but I understand why I would.
This thought sends me nearly running out of second hour as soon as the bell rings in order to get to third hour, knowing that the one person I truly need right now is going to be there. As I reach the art room, I'm slightly out of breath, but a sense of relief washes over me once I see her.
"Miss me?" she asks, outstretching her arms so that I can run into them.
"So much shit has happened, dude. I don't...." I trail off as I shake my head and pull away from the hug.
"You think he'll notice if we cut class?" Naomi asks me as she nods her head towards our teacher who looks like he's about to pass out at his desk.
"Hell, we're advanced photography students now. Just tell him we wanna take pictures of the schools 'admirable architecture',"
Naomi snickers at my comment before nodding and walking up to the teacher. When she points towards me, I send him a small smile. The small smile turns into a bigger smile when he nods, giving us the go ahead.
We both hurry out of class to the bathroom on the other side of the school that's almost always totally vacant. And after double checking to make sure no one else is in here, Naomi walks back over to me and leans against the sink that stands directly across from the wall that I'm leaning against.
"Ok. I'm here, Aspen. Tell me everything,"
I almost break down right then and there, but somehow hold back. I let out a pained laugh and shake my head.
"Where do I even begin?"
Naomi stays silent, but looks at me expectantly.
"Um, well. Ivy kissed Jaxon at the gala and.... she likes him, Nao," I only break slightly with these words, by voice quivering with my last statement. Naomi's eyes instantly soften at my words and I can tell that she's doing everything she can to refrain from hugging me right now, most likely sensing that's not exactly what I need and that I'll come to her when I'm ready.
"So, I took some space away from her for a few days. It wasn't completely intentional, but Margot made time to hang out with me and I figured that would be better than just sitting at home and thinking about what happened over and over again,"
Naomi nods her head at this, but stays silent.
"And then I saw her at the New Years Eve party. It.... it didn't hurt as much as I thought it would. I know it's a dumb thing to be mad about, something not being as painful as you thought it would, but she's my best friend, Nao. I should be in pain getting over her. I'm pretty sure I fucking loved her. So it probably should take me a long time. Besides, she's worth that. And what's worst of all is that I'm just angry at her now. I fucking debated ending our friendship. Over this, over this silly drama that she doesn't even know anything about," I rant to my friend.
"What did you truly like about Ivy, Aspen?" Naomi asks me, seemingly deep in thought.
"Trying to make me cry now?" I attempt to joke with her. Naomi doesn't respond so I opt to search for an answer.
"I don't know, Nao. She's always been there for me. And I mean always. She picks me up when I'm drunk and tries to supervise me at parties even though it never works," I chuckle at the thought, "she comes to all my cheer competitions and just wants me to be happy. I mean, she's my best friend in the whole world,"
Naomi let's out a sigh before shaking her head.
"I don't think you were ever in love with her. That's why you can get over her, Aspen," Naomi tells me softly. My heart nearly stops at her words. They defy what I've come to believe and I can't necessarily wrap my head around them.
"I'm sure you love her like a friend. But I think that's it. Aspen, you love the idea of her. You want someone to always be there for you and she always has. She's a beautiful girl who's always been there for you. So you crushed, but I don't think you ever actually fell. And now, it hurts because she has someone else to be with-"
"Stop,"
"I'm not here to tell you what you want to here. I'm telling you the truth. What you need to hear,"
"Naomi. Stop," I tell the girl.
"But you do like someone. You can't keep your eyes off her, you-"
"Stop. I loved Ivy,"
"I don't think you did,"
"Then you're wrong,"
"Am I?" she asks me. I don't give her a response. So she walks out the door, leaving me to stare at my own tearless reflection.