Only Fools - Chapter 36: Chapter 36
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"You're bold, Aspen Grayson," Margot says a few seconds after I open the door as her eyes look me up and down, realizing what I'm wearing. At the same time, I just stare at her, because everything suddenly feels different. Nothing truly is on the outside, but I'm so blatantly aware of my feelings for her that it seems like it is.
I appreciate her beauty more than I did before and I feel more nervous around her, increasingly worried that I'll do or say something wrong. So I try to just act normal, because that's the best that I can do right now until things begin to feel normal again.
"I don't know what you mean," I play dumb as I let her in and close the door behind her.
"Really?" she asks me as I turn around to face her. However, as soon as I do, she reaches out and grabs the front pocket of my hoodie, pulling me forward and causing for my breath hitch in my throat. I'm suddenly very happy that I decided to wear this sweatshirt.
"Because I'm pretty sure this is my sweatshirt that you just won't seem to give back," Margot whispers in my ear.
"Really? Huh, I didn't even know you liked this band," I tell her, trying to stay cool despite our close proximity.
"Yeah? And what band might that be?" Margot asks as she glances back down at the sweatshirt before locking eyes with me again. As our eyes meet, rational thought suddenly leaves my brain and I go fumbling for words. I swear I knew the name of the band earlier. Why the fuck can't I think of it now? I glance back down at the logo on front. It's a mouth. Something to do with mouth?
"Lemonade mouth?"
Shit. That's a band from a Disney Channel original movie, idiot. I clear my throat as the name finally pops into my head.
"Rolling Stones?" I offer to Margot instead, but a smile already escapes onto her lips due to my first answer.
"Alright. Well you can keep it a little while longer, but only because you look so cute in my clothes," Margot says with a wink before unfortunately enough backing away and walking into the living room, leaving me out in the hallway in a slightly stunned silence.
Quickly, I clear my throat and gather myself before following Margot's lead and walking into the living room where she's sitting on the end of the couch, patting the spot beside her. A smile sneaks onto my face at the sight and it's then that I make the decision that I should tell her tonight.
"So. What are we watching?" Margot asks, breaking me from my thoughts as I sit down beside her and take the opportunity to lean into her. I glance over at the dvd I brought home from the video rental store and suddenly begin to doubt my choice.
"Can we just talk for a while?" I ask the girl quietly.
"About what?" Margot asks me.
"Anything," I respond to her as I try to stay in this moment with her. How many of these moments do I truly have left. If I tell her I like her, then maybe she'll never let me sit this close again, maybe we won't be able to just talk about anything. So maybe I won't tell her tonight.
"Did you know the universe is estimated to be about 13.8 billions years old?"
"What?" I ask the girl, not having expected her to say that.
"And Pluto is one third water," Margot tells me.
"Wait. Why do you know this stuff?" I ask her, realizing that the space unit was years ago in elementary school and I don't even remember learning this stuff. Does she just have that good of a memory?
"I used to want to work for NASA when I was younger," Margot tells me. My mind flashes back to when I told Naomi only hours earlier that I wanted to learn more about the girl and I can't help but smile as I store the new information in my brain.
"Is that just a fancy way of saying you wanted to be an astronaut?" I tease her.
"I wanted to be an aerospace engineer, actually," Margot says with a small laugh.
"An aerospace.... you wanted to create spaceships?" I ask her excitedly.
"Yeah, and satellites and shit," she says, laughing at my excitement.
"Fuck, that's cool,"
"I guess so,"
"Wow, I wish I was that creative when I was younger. I used to want to be a fashion designer, but that's the most I can remember,"
"Really?" Margot asks incredulously.
"Yeah. Why are you shocked?" I ask her. Margot turns to face me and looks me up and down before meeting my eyes again with a smirk on her face and then returning back to her original position so I can lean against her yet again.
"Bitch," I mutter as my head rests on her shoulder.
"Just saying. The hoodie and leggings look isn't exactly...."
"Whatever. Make fun of me all you want-"
"I always do,"
I hit Margot's arm playfully which only makes her laugh softly in response.
"Whatever. What made you stop wanting to be an aerospace engineer?" I ask her.
"I found out that art was something I could make a career out of if I worked hard enough," she tells me. I nod in response.
"You've never told me what you want to do for a career," Margot tells me. I shrug in response.
"I guess that's because I still don't really know. Well...." I trail off, knowingly having something in mind but not truly wanting to say it.
"What?"
"I kind of want to go into criminology," I say shyly.
"The study of crimes and criminals. Why so hesitant to say so?"
"I don't think I'd be able to do it," I reveal to her.
"Why not?" she asks me.
"I, uh, don't think I'd have the confidence. I would always be second guessing myself and.... it just wouldn't work,"
"You think I'm confident about having a career in art? I'm terrified. The only stories anyone tells are the ones of artists who failed to make it and never actually had any sort of success..... But I'm going to try because it would probably hurt more not to," Margot tells me. I wish her words could fully resolve all the doubt in my mind, but they can't. And they won't. Yet they do make my future a little more clear because maybe she's right. If I don't even try, the regret might hurt me more.
And that phrase brings me back to deliberate over if I actually want to tell Margot how I feel tonight. Will I have to live with the regret if I don't tell her, never knowing if she would have felt the same way? And so I change my mind again, deciding that I'll tell her tonight. I have to.
"I'm guessing we're done discussing this. You got really silent," Margot interrupts me from my thoughts.
"Yeah. Sorry. I'm just kind of in my head today,"
"Don't apologize. You don't need to," she tells me. I smile softly at her words as I nod my head.
"You can keep talking though," I say quietly, not truly wanting to stay in silence where my thoughts can do easily eat away at me.
"Once upon a time, there was a princess named Aspen-"
"Fuck you,"
"No, fuck you because you didn't let me finish when I originally tried to tell this story,"
"And I'm not letting you finish today," I tell her rather resolutely.
"Yeah? How are you going to manage that?" she challenges me.
"I'm going to tell my own story. Agent May got assigned to a new case the day prior and-" I'm cut off as Margot slaps her hand over my mouth.
"Fuck no. Not your creepy shit again. Once upon a time...."
Oh, that's cute. She thinks she won. Quickly, in order to interrupt her like she interrupted me, I stick my tongue out and swipe it across her hand. Then, catching her in her moment of shock I jump off the couch and run to the other side of the room.
"What the hell are you doing?" Margot asks me, clearly confused.
"There's no point in telling your story if I'm not there to hear it," I say mischievously before turning on my heel and taking off, running out of the living room and straight up the stairs in an attempt to get to my room before she can catch me. However, I can hear her, hot on my heels. Is she a faster runner than I thought? No, I'll be fine.
As I reach my room and turn around to close my door, she's already standing there, not even out of breath while I'm panting like crazy.
"Fucking superhuman," I mutter under my breath as she takes menacing steps towards me, causing for me to retreat backwards. That is, until the back of my legs hit my bed post and I realize that I'm trapped. Shit.
"Trapped," Margot says with a smirk as she continues to take steps forward, lessening the distance between us.
"That's what you think," I tell her. She looks confused for a second, that is until I grab a stuffed animal off my bed and quickly throw it so that it hits her square in the face. 50 points for Aspen. Sorry, Gracey.
With that, I slide away and run out of my room, or I begin to run out of my room but my arm is suddenly grabbed and I'm pulled back to square one. Except this time, Margot has me pinned against my dresser and is wearing a rather annoyed expression on her face.
"Shit," I mutter under my breath quietly.
"Shit is right," Margot says in response, her scowl breaking only slightly.
"Oh, look at the time. We better start watching a movie before it's too late," I say dramatically as I look at my wrist that is entirely lacking a watch.
"And what time might that be?" Margot asks me.
"....4:20?" I offer.
Margot rolls her eyes at me before shaking her head.
"Maybe try 9:27," Margot tells me as she glances at my alarm clock on my beside table.
"Oh. I was only off 7 minutes. And five hours," I wave off my mistake. Margot hums in response.
"I'll share my popcorn if you let me go," I offer quietly, slightly hoping that she doesn't actually hear me so that she can't take my offer. However, as Margot's arms fall away from the side of my head and return to rest by her sides, I sadly enough realize that she not only heard me but is going to take me up on my offer.
"So, we gonna watch that movie?" she asks me with a smirk. I roll my eyes at her before nodding my head and pushing past her to lead her back downstairs and to the living room.
After I pop the bag of popcorn that I very unfortunately have to share, and place the disc, which I didn't have time to have second thoughts about again, in the DVD player, I plop back down into my spot beside Margot, placing the popcorn bowl in my lap my head on her shoulder.
"So the girl who was complaining about Valentine's Day today has decided to watch a rom com tonight?" Margot asks me jokingly as the opening menu for "How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days" appears onscreen.
"I figured I should put on something we can both watch, since your head was buried in my shoulder the last time we watched a horror movie," I quip back.
"So in your mind, the only two genres you can watch with me are horror and romantic comedy? First date movies,"
"You're looking into it too much," I try to cover for myself after I clearly walked right into that.
"Sure I am," Margot says, and I don't even have to look at her to see the smirk playing on her lips. It's then that I feel her hand find mine as she interlocks her pinky finger with mine.
"Margot. I...." I trail off, any confidence I had diminishing. I can't do this.
"What?" she asks, slightly concern apparent in her voice.
"Never mind. It was nothing," I try to reassure her with a small smile.
"Ok," she says before turning her attention back to the movie onscreen. I wish I could do the same, but all I can focus on is her pinky interlocked with mine and the way I know I'll never build up the courage to tell her that even that simple gesture makes me feel this way because of the chance it's probably different for her.
————
As the credits appear, I realize that I don't even know what the movie was about, too caught up in my own head to pay attention. Fuck. This has to end. I have to tell her otherwise it might always be like this and I might miss more.
"You're quiet," Margot whispers to me.
"Yeah. I, uh, I guess I'm just tired," I attempt to excuse myself.
"Oh, we don't have to stay up if you don't want to," Margot tells me rather sweetly.
"No. It's fine. What do you want to watch next?" I ask her, knowing I won't be able to sleep with my racing thoughts.
Margot ends up choosing a movie, some early 2000s film that I had never seen before, but I'm stuck in a daze the entire time, thinking up every possible outcome to each situation. Not even halfway through the movie, Margot pauses the film and turns to look at me.
"You're acting weird," she tells me.
"I'm fine," I try to reassure her yet again.
"Let me guess, you're just tired?" she asks me. I nod meekly in response.
"Ok. You're going to bed then,"
"What?"
Without saying another word to me, she lifts me off of the couch and throws me over her shoulder. I let out a surprised gasp, but just let her carry me up the stairs and to my room, too exhausted to put up much of a fight. Despite the rather sudden way Margot threw me over her shoulder, she sets me down gently onto my bed and neatly pulls the covers over my body.
"Get some rest so you're not weird tomorrow?"
I nod in response despite knowing that sleep isn't what would help. I need to tell her, but the words are stuck in my throat, likely because I'm too blatantly aware of what I'd be losing. I'd be losing an absolutely amazing friend who cares about me and who I know I can trust. She makes me laugh even when I'm sad and is consistently there for me. I can't lose that.
"Where are you going?" I ask Margot as she begins to make her way towards the door of my room, desperation slightly creeping into my voice.
"I'll take the couch downstairs. It's fine," Margot reassures me.
"Or you could stay here...." I offer.
"Aspen...."
"Please?" I ask her as I make room for her beside me.
"Ok. But you better not steal all the blankets," Margot tells me before getting onto the bed beside me and rolling over to face me.
"No promises," I whisper to her with a cheeky grin. After a few moments, Margot furrows her eyebrows at me.
"Are you going to go to sleep or just keep staring at me?" she asks me.
"Keep staring at you," I tell her.
"Oh really?"
"Yep," I answer simply.
"Hmm. Well do I just have to stare back or...."
"You can tell your story now," I tell the girl beside me.
"Really?"
"I'm all ears,"
"Well, once upon a time, there was a princess named Aspen...." Margot starts for what has to be the hundredth time. Closing my eyes, I begin to let out obnoxious snoring noses that soon turn into laughs as I open my eyes and see her scowl.
"You don't get to hear it then," Margot says before rolling to face away from me.
"No, no, no, no. I want to hear it," I insist to her.
"No interruptions?" she double checks.
"I pinkie promise," I reassure her.
"You better," she responds before rolling back over to face me. I nod as if motioning for her to continue on.
"Ok. Once upon a time there was a princess named Aspen. She was seemingly a perfect vision of a princess: beautiful, proper, cared for her subjects-"
"You think I'm beautiful?" I ask Margot sleepily.
"Is that all you got from that?"
"So you do?"
"The princess in the story is. Now let me finish,"
I smile softly before nodding, closing my eyes as they begin to feel droopy.
"Ok. But Princess Aspen had a secret. She always wanted to be a knight, protecting her subjects that she loved-"
"I feel like this wasn't the original story...."
"Are you going to let me finish, or are you going to keep interrupting?"
"I guess you can finish," I say with an eye roll.
"Ok. So she wanted to be a knight. One day, she got her chance. Forced into a friendship that would unite their lands with a princess from across the river, they rode in their carriage in silence on the way to Aspen's castle. But when they reached the forest trail, robbers stopped them, knocking out the fellow princess and leaving Princess Aspen to fend for herself with a knife to her throat,"
"You got knocked out?"
"What?"
"Aren't you the fellow princess?" I ask sleepily.
"Stop trying to predict my story," Margot snaps.
I roll my eyes at her, but a smile remains on my face.
"Aspen reasons with the robber because that's all she can do. She takes long enough that one of her knights can intervene and...."
Margot's voice fades away as I drift into sleep and dream about dragons named Olivia and a knight pulling of their helmet to reveal a gorgeous girl with dark skin and beautiful curls.
However, as my eyes flutter open, I can't help but notice that it's still dark outside. There's a dip in the bed beside me and that's when I remember that Margot's there. Rolling over to face her, a frown makes its way onto my face.
Her lips are slightly parted and her chest rises and falls at an even pace as she peacefully sleeps. Her dark curls are pulled back into a low bun and there's a halo of frizz around her head from being pressed into a pillow. Her eyelashes rest gently on her cheeks and I can't help but want to just reach out and softly trace her cheekbone with my thumb and figure out if her skin is actually as smooth as it looks.
If I told her, I could lose her as a friend, but I could also gain her as something more. Everything that makes her such an amazing friend would still be there and I would also be able to call her mine. I would actually be able to kiss her and go on dates with her where I could learn everything about her because she makes me want to learn everything about her. Margot makes me want to live my life and be myself. I think the risk of losing her as a friend just might be worth the possibility of being something more to her. With that surge of hope, words follow, tumbling out of my mouth.
"Hey, Margot?" I whisper quietly as I gently nudge her shoulder. Margot's eyes flutter open and she groans. Turning her head slightly, she looks at me and feelings of nervousness instantly erupt into my stomach. I'm not actually going to do this. It was stupid. She's going to just reject me anyways. She'll probably begin to pack up her stuff as soon as the words escape my lips just to get away from me as soon as possible. Shit. Why did I even do this? Any hope that I had, diminishes as doubt replaces it. This amazing girl couldn't possibly like me back.
"What?" she asks me, still seemingly in a sleepy daze.
"Never mind," I say quietly in response.
"Seriously? You woke me up to say 'never mind'? No. Tell me now what you were going to say because it better be the most fucking important thing ever to be waking me up at-"
she takes a pause in her sentence to raise her head up and look over me at my alarm clock, displaying the time in bright red digits.
"3:36AM. Fucking hell, Aspen. You've gotta be shitting me. 3:36 in the morning and all you have to say is-"
"I like you," I say suddenly. Shit. I just did it.
My eyes widen slightly, in shock that the words actually escaped my lips, but I quickly recover from the shock and paint back on the most confident expression I can muster because if I started this then I'm sure as hell going to have to finish it.
"What?" she asks me, seemingly with a tone of disbelief, likely internally asking herself if she's just tired or if she actually heard me correctly. Sadly, she probably did hear me correctly and I can't go back. And so I keep going.
"I like you. As in, more than a friend. I don't know. I was just lying here and watching you, no that is not as creepy as it sounds, and I got sick and tired of just hiding my feelings. I like you so damn much, Margot May. Take it as you will but-"
The next thing I know is that her lips are on mine. Her hands are gently cupping my cheeks as mine find their way to her waist. All thoughts that were previously in my brain, all anxiety, all worry, is now completely gone. All I can focus on is the feeling of her lips against mine and how my heart feels like it's soaring out of my chest.
As we pull away, we're both smiling and I begin to shake my head. She quirks an eyebrow at me and I just laugh.
"I think that was the best response I could've gotten," I explain to her. She nods her head sleepily and wraps an arm around my waist, pulling me close to her. As I rest my head on her chest, our legs tangle together under the sheets and I'm suddenly positively sure that the smile on my face won't leave, even after I fall asleep.
"Sleep now?" she asks me in an adorably sleepy tone.
"Yeah. Sleep now," I tell her with a short laugh.
And I'm right. Even as I fall asleep, the smile simply doesn't leave my lips because the only thing on my mind is her.
I appreciate her beauty more than I did before and I feel more nervous around her, increasingly worried that I'll do or say something wrong. So I try to just act normal, because that's the best that I can do right now until things begin to feel normal again.
"I don't know what you mean," I play dumb as I let her in and close the door behind her.
"Really?" she asks me as I turn around to face her. However, as soon as I do, she reaches out and grabs the front pocket of my hoodie, pulling me forward and causing for my breath hitch in my throat. I'm suddenly very happy that I decided to wear this sweatshirt.
"Because I'm pretty sure this is my sweatshirt that you just won't seem to give back," Margot whispers in my ear.
"Really? Huh, I didn't even know you liked this band," I tell her, trying to stay cool despite our close proximity.
"Yeah? And what band might that be?" Margot asks as she glances back down at the sweatshirt before locking eyes with me again. As our eyes meet, rational thought suddenly leaves my brain and I go fumbling for words. I swear I knew the name of the band earlier. Why the fuck can't I think of it now? I glance back down at the logo on front. It's a mouth. Something to do with mouth?
"Lemonade mouth?"
Shit. That's a band from a Disney Channel original movie, idiot. I clear my throat as the name finally pops into my head.
"Rolling Stones?" I offer to Margot instead, but a smile already escapes onto her lips due to my first answer.
"Alright. Well you can keep it a little while longer, but only because you look so cute in my clothes," Margot says with a wink before unfortunately enough backing away and walking into the living room, leaving me out in the hallway in a slightly stunned silence.
Quickly, I clear my throat and gather myself before following Margot's lead and walking into the living room where she's sitting on the end of the couch, patting the spot beside her. A smile sneaks onto my face at the sight and it's then that I make the decision that I should tell her tonight.
"So. What are we watching?" Margot asks, breaking me from my thoughts as I sit down beside her and take the opportunity to lean into her. I glance over at the dvd I brought home from the video rental store and suddenly begin to doubt my choice.
"Can we just talk for a while?" I ask the girl quietly.
"About what?" Margot asks me.
"Anything," I respond to her as I try to stay in this moment with her. How many of these moments do I truly have left. If I tell her I like her, then maybe she'll never let me sit this close again, maybe we won't be able to just talk about anything. So maybe I won't tell her tonight.
"Did you know the universe is estimated to be about 13.8 billions years old?"
"What?" I ask the girl, not having expected her to say that.
"And Pluto is one third water," Margot tells me.
"Wait. Why do you know this stuff?" I ask her, realizing that the space unit was years ago in elementary school and I don't even remember learning this stuff. Does she just have that good of a memory?
"I used to want to work for NASA when I was younger," Margot tells me. My mind flashes back to when I told Naomi only hours earlier that I wanted to learn more about the girl and I can't help but smile as I store the new information in my brain.
"Is that just a fancy way of saying you wanted to be an astronaut?" I tease her.
"I wanted to be an aerospace engineer, actually," Margot says with a small laugh.
"An aerospace.... you wanted to create spaceships?" I ask her excitedly.
"Yeah, and satellites and shit," she says, laughing at my excitement.
"Fuck, that's cool,"
"I guess so,"
"Wow, I wish I was that creative when I was younger. I used to want to be a fashion designer, but that's the most I can remember,"
"Really?" Margot asks incredulously.
"Yeah. Why are you shocked?" I ask her. Margot turns to face me and looks me up and down before meeting my eyes again with a smirk on her face and then returning back to her original position so I can lean against her yet again.
"Bitch," I mutter as my head rests on her shoulder.
"Just saying. The hoodie and leggings look isn't exactly...."
"Whatever. Make fun of me all you want-"
"I always do,"
I hit Margot's arm playfully which only makes her laugh softly in response.
"Whatever. What made you stop wanting to be an aerospace engineer?" I ask her.
"I found out that art was something I could make a career out of if I worked hard enough," she tells me. I nod in response.
"You've never told me what you want to do for a career," Margot tells me. I shrug in response.
"I guess that's because I still don't really know. Well...." I trail off, knowingly having something in mind but not truly wanting to say it.
"What?"
"I kind of want to go into criminology," I say shyly.
"The study of crimes and criminals. Why so hesitant to say so?"
"I don't think I'd be able to do it," I reveal to her.
"Why not?" she asks me.
"I, uh, don't think I'd have the confidence. I would always be second guessing myself and.... it just wouldn't work,"
"You think I'm confident about having a career in art? I'm terrified. The only stories anyone tells are the ones of artists who failed to make it and never actually had any sort of success..... But I'm going to try because it would probably hurt more not to," Margot tells me. I wish her words could fully resolve all the doubt in my mind, but they can't. And they won't. Yet they do make my future a little more clear because maybe she's right. If I don't even try, the regret might hurt me more.
And that phrase brings me back to deliberate over if I actually want to tell Margot how I feel tonight. Will I have to live with the regret if I don't tell her, never knowing if she would have felt the same way? And so I change my mind again, deciding that I'll tell her tonight. I have to.
"I'm guessing we're done discussing this. You got really silent," Margot interrupts me from my thoughts.
"Yeah. Sorry. I'm just kind of in my head today,"
"Don't apologize. You don't need to," she tells me. I smile softly at her words as I nod my head.
"You can keep talking though," I say quietly, not truly wanting to stay in silence where my thoughts can do easily eat away at me.
"Once upon a time, there was a princess named Aspen-"
"Fuck you,"
"No, fuck you because you didn't let me finish when I originally tried to tell this story,"
"And I'm not letting you finish today," I tell her rather resolutely.
"Yeah? How are you going to manage that?" she challenges me.
"I'm going to tell my own story. Agent May got assigned to a new case the day prior and-" I'm cut off as Margot slaps her hand over my mouth.
"Fuck no. Not your creepy shit again. Once upon a time...."
Oh, that's cute. She thinks she won. Quickly, in order to interrupt her like she interrupted me, I stick my tongue out and swipe it across her hand. Then, catching her in her moment of shock I jump off the couch and run to the other side of the room.
"What the hell are you doing?" Margot asks me, clearly confused.
"There's no point in telling your story if I'm not there to hear it," I say mischievously before turning on my heel and taking off, running out of the living room and straight up the stairs in an attempt to get to my room before she can catch me. However, I can hear her, hot on my heels. Is she a faster runner than I thought? No, I'll be fine.
As I reach my room and turn around to close my door, she's already standing there, not even out of breath while I'm panting like crazy.
"Fucking superhuman," I mutter under my breath as she takes menacing steps towards me, causing for me to retreat backwards. That is, until the back of my legs hit my bed post and I realize that I'm trapped. Shit.
"Trapped," Margot says with a smirk as she continues to take steps forward, lessening the distance between us.
"That's what you think," I tell her. She looks confused for a second, that is until I grab a stuffed animal off my bed and quickly throw it so that it hits her square in the face. 50 points for Aspen. Sorry, Gracey.
With that, I slide away and run out of my room, or I begin to run out of my room but my arm is suddenly grabbed and I'm pulled back to square one. Except this time, Margot has me pinned against my dresser and is wearing a rather annoyed expression on her face.
"Shit," I mutter under my breath quietly.
"Shit is right," Margot says in response, her scowl breaking only slightly.
"Oh, look at the time. We better start watching a movie before it's too late," I say dramatically as I look at my wrist that is entirely lacking a watch.
"And what time might that be?" Margot asks me.
"....4:20?" I offer.
Margot rolls her eyes at me before shaking her head.
"Maybe try 9:27," Margot tells me as she glances at my alarm clock on my beside table.
"Oh. I was only off 7 minutes. And five hours," I wave off my mistake. Margot hums in response.
"I'll share my popcorn if you let me go," I offer quietly, slightly hoping that she doesn't actually hear me so that she can't take my offer. However, as Margot's arms fall away from the side of my head and return to rest by her sides, I sadly enough realize that she not only heard me but is going to take me up on my offer.
"So, we gonna watch that movie?" she asks me with a smirk. I roll my eyes at her before nodding my head and pushing past her to lead her back downstairs and to the living room.
After I pop the bag of popcorn that I very unfortunately have to share, and place the disc, which I didn't have time to have second thoughts about again, in the DVD player, I plop back down into my spot beside Margot, placing the popcorn bowl in my lap my head on her shoulder.
"So the girl who was complaining about Valentine's Day today has decided to watch a rom com tonight?" Margot asks me jokingly as the opening menu for "How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days" appears onscreen.
"I figured I should put on something we can both watch, since your head was buried in my shoulder the last time we watched a horror movie," I quip back.
"So in your mind, the only two genres you can watch with me are horror and romantic comedy? First date movies,"
"You're looking into it too much," I try to cover for myself after I clearly walked right into that.
"Sure I am," Margot says, and I don't even have to look at her to see the smirk playing on her lips. It's then that I feel her hand find mine as she interlocks her pinky finger with mine.
"Margot. I...." I trail off, any confidence I had diminishing. I can't do this.
"What?" she asks, slightly concern apparent in her voice.
"Never mind. It was nothing," I try to reassure her with a small smile.
"Ok," she says before turning her attention back to the movie onscreen. I wish I could do the same, but all I can focus on is her pinky interlocked with mine and the way I know I'll never build up the courage to tell her that even that simple gesture makes me feel this way because of the chance it's probably different for her.
————
As the credits appear, I realize that I don't even know what the movie was about, too caught up in my own head to pay attention. Fuck. This has to end. I have to tell her otherwise it might always be like this and I might miss more.
"You're quiet," Margot whispers to me.
"Yeah. I, uh, I guess I'm just tired," I attempt to excuse myself.
"Oh, we don't have to stay up if you don't want to," Margot tells me rather sweetly.
"No. It's fine. What do you want to watch next?" I ask her, knowing I won't be able to sleep with my racing thoughts.
Margot ends up choosing a movie, some early 2000s film that I had never seen before, but I'm stuck in a daze the entire time, thinking up every possible outcome to each situation. Not even halfway through the movie, Margot pauses the film and turns to look at me.
"You're acting weird," she tells me.
"I'm fine," I try to reassure her yet again.
"Let me guess, you're just tired?" she asks me. I nod meekly in response.
"Ok. You're going to bed then,"
"What?"
Without saying another word to me, she lifts me off of the couch and throws me over her shoulder. I let out a surprised gasp, but just let her carry me up the stairs and to my room, too exhausted to put up much of a fight. Despite the rather sudden way Margot threw me over her shoulder, she sets me down gently onto my bed and neatly pulls the covers over my body.
"Get some rest so you're not weird tomorrow?"
I nod in response despite knowing that sleep isn't what would help. I need to tell her, but the words are stuck in my throat, likely because I'm too blatantly aware of what I'd be losing. I'd be losing an absolutely amazing friend who cares about me and who I know I can trust. She makes me laugh even when I'm sad and is consistently there for me. I can't lose that.
"Where are you going?" I ask Margot as she begins to make her way towards the door of my room, desperation slightly creeping into my voice.
"I'll take the couch downstairs. It's fine," Margot reassures me.
"Or you could stay here...." I offer.
"Aspen...."
"Please?" I ask her as I make room for her beside me.
"Ok. But you better not steal all the blankets," Margot tells me before getting onto the bed beside me and rolling over to face me.
"No promises," I whisper to her with a cheeky grin. After a few moments, Margot furrows her eyebrows at me.
"Are you going to go to sleep or just keep staring at me?" she asks me.
"Keep staring at you," I tell her.
"Oh really?"
"Yep," I answer simply.
"Hmm. Well do I just have to stare back or...."
"You can tell your story now," I tell the girl beside me.
"Really?"
"I'm all ears,"
"Well, once upon a time, there was a princess named Aspen...." Margot starts for what has to be the hundredth time. Closing my eyes, I begin to let out obnoxious snoring noses that soon turn into laughs as I open my eyes and see her scowl.
"You don't get to hear it then," Margot says before rolling to face away from me.
"No, no, no, no. I want to hear it," I insist to her.
"No interruptions?" she double checks.
"I pinkie promise," I reassure her.
"You better," she responds before rolling back over to face me. I nod as if motioning for her to continue on.
"Ok. Once upon a time there was a princess named Aspen. She was seemingly a perfect vision of a princess: beautiful, proper, cared for her subjects-"
"You think I'm beautiful?" I ask Margot sleepily.
"Is that all you got from that?"
"So you do?"
"The princess in the story is. Now let me finish,"
I smile softly before nodding, closing my eyes as they begin to feel droopy.
"Ok. But Princess Aspen had a secret. She always wanted to be a knight, protecting her subjects that she loved-"
"I feel like this wasn't the original story...."
"Are you going to let me finish, or are you going to keep interrupting?"
"I guess you can finish," I say with an eye roll.
"Ok. So she wanted to be a knight. One day, she got her chance. Forced into a friendship that would unite their lands with a princess from across the river, they rode in their carriage in silence on the way to Aspen's castle. But when they reached the forest trail, robbers stopped them, knocking out the fellow princess and leaving Princess Aspen to fend for herself with a knife to her throat,"
"You got knocked out?"
"What?"
"Aren't you the fellow princess?" I ask sleepily.
"Stop trying to predict my story," Margot snaps.
I roll my eyes at her, but a smile remains on my face.
"Aspen reasons with the robber because that's all she can do. She takes long enough that one of her knights can intervene and...."
Margot's voice fades away as I drift into sleep and dream about dragons named Olivia and a knight pulling of their helmet to reveal a gorgeous girl with dark skin and beautiful curls.
However, as my eyes flutter open, I can't help but notice that it's still dark outside. There's a dip in the bed beside me and that's when I remember that Margot's there. Rolling over to face her, a frown makes its way onto my face.
Her lips are slightly parted and her chest rises and falls at an even pace as she peacefully sleeps. Her dark curls are pulled back into a low bun and there's a halo of frizz around her head from being pressed into a pillow. Her eyelashes rest gently on her cheeks and I can't help but want to just reach out and softly trace her cheekbone with my thumb and figure out if her skin is actually as smooth as it looks.
If I told her, I could lose her as a friend, but I could also gain her as something more. Everything that makes her such an amazing friend would still be there and I would also be able to call her mine. I would actually be able to kiss her and go on dates with her where I could learn everything about her because she makes me want to learn everything about her. Margot makes me want to live my life and be myself. I think the risk of losing her as a friend just might be worth the possibility of being something more to her. With that surge of hope, words follow, tumbling out of my mouth.
"Hey, Margot?" I whisper quietly as I gently nudge her shoulder. Margot's eyes flutter open and she groans. Turning her head slightly, she looks at me and feelings of nervousness instantly erupt into my stomach. I'm not actually going to do this. It was stupid. She's going to just reject me anyways. She'll probably begin to pack up her stuff as soon as the words escape my lips just to get away from me as soon as possible. Shit. Why did I even do this? Any hope that I had, diminishes as doubt replaces it. This amazing girl couldn't possibly like me back.
"What?" she asks me, still seemingly in a sleepy daze.
"Never mind," I say quietly in response.
"Seriously? You woke me up to say 'never mind'? No. Tell me now what you were going to say because it better be the most fucking important thing ever to be waking me up at-"
she takes a pause in her sentence to raise her head up and look over me at my alarm clock, displaying the time in bright red digits.
"3:36AM. Fucking hell, Aspen. You've gotta be shitting me. 3:36 in the morning and all you have to say is-"
"I like you," I say suddenly. Shit. I just did it.
My eyes widen slightly, in shock that the words actually escaped my lips, but I quickly recover from the shock and paint back on the most confident expression I can muster because if I started this then I'm sure as hell going to have to finish it.
"What?" she asks me, seemingly with a tone of disbelief, likely internally asking herself if she's just tired or if she actually heard me correctly. Sadly, she probably did hear me correctly and I can't go back. And so I keep going.
"I like you. As in, more than a friend. I don't know. I was just lying here and watching you, no that is not as creepy as it sounds, and I got sick and tired of just hiding my feelings. I like you so damn much, Margot May. Take it as you will but-"
The next thing I know is that her lips are on mine. Her hands are gently cupping my cheeks as mine find their way to her waist. All thoughts that were previously in my brain, all anxiety, all worry, is now completely gone. All I can focus on is the feeling of her lips against mine and how my heart feels like it's soaring out of my chest.
As we pull away, we're both smiling and I begin to shake my head. She quirks an eyebrow at me and I just laugh.
"I think that was the best response I could've gotten," I explain to her. She nods her head sleepily and wraps an arm around my waist, pulling me close to her. As I rest my head on her chest, our legs tangle together under the sheets and I'm suddenly positively sure that the smile on my face won't leave, even after I fall asleep.
"Sleep now?" she asks me in an adorably sleepy tone.
"Yeah. Sleep now," I tell her with a short laugh.
And I'm right. Even as I fall asleep, the smile simply doesn't leave my lips because the only thing on my mind is her.
End of Only Fools Chapter 36. Continue reading Chapter 37 or return to Only Fools book page.