Only Fools - Chapter 40: Chapter 40
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"If you don't leave now, you're gonna miss the bus, kiddo!" my dad shouts from the kitchen as I scramble to tug my shoes on my feet, slightly distracted by my phone's constant ringing in my pocket.
"Fucking hell," I mutter underneath my breath as I aggressively finish knotting my shoe before pulling my phone out of my pocket and nearly dropping it as I hit the button to accept the call and hold it next to my ear.
"Hello?" I greet whoever's on the other end of the line, the caller ID being neglected completely in this moment. In the seconds that I wait for a response, I simultaneously attempt to catch my breath from getting ready at such super sonic speeds, and I'm left hoping that whoever I'm talking to doesn't mind my dog-like panting.
"You good?" Margot's voice resounds from the phone speaker before being followed by chuckling.
"Woke up late," I explain as my heart begins to beat fast for an entirely different reason.
"Really? Sounds like you just ran a marathon,"
"Dude. I had to run down my stairs. That's basically the same thing," I argue against her comment.
"And you think you're gonna get through an entire cheer competition today?"
"Oh, fuck off," I say as I roll my eyes, despite her not being able to see me.
"Language," my dad chides from behind me, startling me slightly, given that I didn't hear him creep up.
"Dang. I didn't even hear you coming," I tell him as a small smile slips onto my face.
"What?" Margot asks, clearly only having heard me.
"Talking to my dad. Sorry," I explain to her quickly before turning my attention back to my father.
"I guess I missed my calling as a spy," my dad jokes around. I just shake my head at him before giving him a quick hug.
"I'm heading off to meet the team. Am I gonna see you at the competition?" I ask him as I grab my keys, to which he furrows his eyebrows in response.
"Yeah. Um, is your friend not driving you?" he questions me before pointing towards the front door.
"Wait. What?"
I tug my cheer bag onto my shoulder before walking out the front door, sending my dad a quick wave before I close it behind me. It's only then that I notice the car pulled into my driveway and the beautiful girl sitting in the driver's seat. As a smile spreads onto my face, I quickly end the phone call before hurrying over to her car.
"What the fuck are you doing here?" I inquire as soon as I open the passenger side door.
"Nice way to greet your girlfriend who woke up early just to Uber your ass," Margot quips back which quickly puts a smile on my face as I get into the car.
"How did you know.... how did you plan this?"
"I do have Naomi's phone number, believe it or not," Margot answers me with unfailing sarcasm.
"I'm not sure how I feel about my girlfriend texting other girls," I joke as I click my seatbelt into place. However, when I turn my attention back to the girl in the driver's seat, I instantly notice the frown on her lips.
"What?" I ask her softly, concern beginning to bubble in my stomach.
"I was just.... I was hoping to see you in your cheer uniform," Margot says as though it's the most disappointing ordeal in the world, despite the smirk that's threatening to spill onto her lips. Rolling my eyes, I smack her shoulder before shaking my head. Margot just chuckles in response as she shifts her car into gear and pulls out of my driveway before promptly taking off down the street.
"It is cold outside, dude. If you thought I wasn't going to be wearing four layers of sweatshirts.... Delusional," I respond before shoving my hands into my hoodie's front pocket as if to prove a point while also using my words as an attempt to distract Margot from the blush spreading onto my cheeks.
"I was trying to flirt, dumbass,"
My cheeks only get warmer with her words.
"Shut up," I snap back as I cross my arms over my chest and decide to look out the window in an attempt to both look slightly pissed and also hide my blush. However, as Margot lets out a breathy laugh, I can't help but turn my head back around so that I can see the smile that accompanies it.
"You do know where you're taking me, right?" I double check with the girl beside me as she turns off of my street.
"Naomi mentioned a bus being parked at our lovely school,"
"And you do know.... Not that I ever doubted you or anything...."
"Aspen Grayson, the best liar in the world, folks," Margot says sarcastically, which I instantly take slight offense to.
"Bullshit,"
"Really?" Margot challenges.
"You noticed my cadence change at the end there? Comedic effect," I clarify.
"Sure," Margot replies, still not convinced.
"I'm serious. I'm a great liar," I insist.
"Because that's the kind of statement you want to hear from the person you're in a relationship with,"
"At least I'm disclosing it now," I state with a shrug.
"Not much of a disclosure if I don't believe you,"
"Fine. You'll realize I'm right soon enough,"
"Again, not the type of thing you wanna be promising to the person you're in a relationship with," Margot reminds me as a small smile slips onto her lips.
"What? You don't wanna experience my lying skills for future reference?" I challenge the girl beside me.
"I can't think of a situation where I would need that, so no,"
"Um, think again. You wanna get away with murder? I got you covered. No snitches here. Even the fucking FBI couldn't crack me," I tell her confidently.
"And you immediately jumped to covering for a murder because...."
"Fine. Tax fraud. I could lie and say that you are totally not doing your taxes.... fraudulently,"
"Yes, because as a seventeen year old, I am in an unending cycle of worry over taxes," Margot remarks sarcastically.
"Ok. Fuck you,"
"We just started dating...."
"I am just trying to state ways in which I can excel at being a girlfriend, and you are absolutely shitting on them all," I continue on, completely ignoring her last comment.
"Last time I checked, you stated a singular way," Margot reminds me.
"Details," I say as I wave my hand in a dismissive manner towards her.
"Why do I put up with you?" Margot questions under her breath, purposely just loud enough for me to hear.
"I'm not sure, but I still haven't given you that one sweatshirt back, and if I had to guess then you're probably just waiting for me to return that, given that you have a weird affinity for that rolling pebbles band," I tell her with a shrug. Margot snorts at my response which quickly puts a smile on my face, breaking the nonchalant demeanor I tried to carry alongside my explanation.
"That's almost worse than Lemonade Mouth," Margot says.
"Excuse you. Lemonade Mouth has made bangers such as hit songs 'Determinate' and 'She's So Gone'," I defend the band from the Disney Channel original movie.
"But was Lemonade Mouth inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame?" Margot challenges me.
"Actually, my music taste is more underground, more selective. I don't just like what everyone else likes," I say dramatically in response.
"And your explanation for liking One Direction?" Margot counters. I go silent for a moment, wracking my brain as to how I'm going to respond to her question that easily landed me in a trap set by my own words.
"We're changing the topic now," I declare.
"Don't know how to respond to a simple question?" Margot teases me to which I roll my eyes.
"My response is the equivalent of me placing a draw 4 card down in Uno,"
"Had to go for the throat," Margot chuckles.
"A standard wild card simply doesn't have the same flair for dramatics," I say with a shrug.
"And the new topic?"
"Shit. I'm bad at quick decisions. You're gonna have to give me a minute,"
"Want me to time you?" Margot teases.
"Fuck no. A count down would just make me more anxious,"
"Then how am I supposed to accurately give you a minute?" Margot asks sarcastically.
"It's an expression. Like two shakes of a lamb's tail,"
"The fuck is two shakes of a lamb's tail?"
"I already told you. It's an expression," I repeat to her as I roll my eyes.
"Who the fuck says that?"
"Tons of people," I defend myself.
"I swear. You're making this shit up,"
"It means that you'll get something done quickly. Like, I could say: 'I'll finish writing my name in two shakes of a lamb's tail',"
"You've never used it though,"
"So you want me to use it more?"
"That is definitely not what I said,"
I turn the smile that's attempting to spill onto my lips into a smirk as I force myself to look out the passenger side window as we pull into the school parking lot where the bus is located.
"You're gonna start using it, aren't you?" Margot asks me with a sigh.
"Do you even need to ask?"
My girlfriend just rolls her eyes at me before shaking her head.
"Good luck at the competition. I'll meet you there," Margot tells me as a smile slowly spreads onto her face.
"You'll be cheering for me?" I ask her as she pulls my hand into hers.
"Do you even need to ask?" she mimics my previous question.
A smile breaks into my face as I give her hand a squeeze and she quickly returns it. As I glance at my teammates around me getting out of their cars and talking animatedly to each other, my stomach sinks slightly knowing that I can't kiss my girlfriend goodbye. And at the same time, I know that the problem that I'm arriving at is entirely my fault which hurts even more. Guilt begins to consume me, but quickly gets drowned out as I glance from girl to girl and subconsciously wonder what each of their reactions would be to my girlfriend and I kissing, while I also scold myself for doing such a thing.
Yet somehow, Margot senses it and gives my hand another squeeze, pulling me back into reality, and turning my focus back to her.
"I'm sorry," I immediately say to her, the guilt returning once our eyes meet.
"Don't be. Do your best out there.... ok?" Margot reassures me as her thumb draws circles on the back of my hand.
"Alright. I'll see you in two shakes of a lamb's tail then?" I offer, trying to lighten the mood despite the tightness in my chest. Almost instantly, Margot drops my hand before beginning to shake her head.
"Get out of my car," she says as she attempts to keep the smile off of her face. I just smile as I open the door and get out with my cheer bag in hand.
"You're lucky I keep things so interesting," I tell her.
"Keep telling yourself that. I'll see you later,"
"In two-"
Before I can even finish, Margot reaches across the center console and closes my door for me before quickly shifting the car into gear and driving off, leaving me standing by the abandoned parking spot with a dopey smile on my face.
I don't stay that way for long, though, before I turn on my heel and let out a sigh before slowly walking towards the bus filled with my teammates.
The all too familiar sight brings nerves that were hidden before as I was too distracted by the girl in the driver's seat to worry about a high school cheer competition. Yet that's the only thing left on my mind now. So as I step on the bus and begin to greet all my teammates, the smile I give them doesn't quite reach my eyes.
"You're welcome," Naomi says with a smirk as I slide into the seat next to her.
"What?" I ask, confused as to what exactly she's referring to as my eyes flit around the bus, not landing on one particular spot for far too long.
"Did Margot not drive you here?" she asks as she raises her eyebrows at me. I just roll my eyes at her in response, but that's clearly the only affirmation she needs as a small smile breaks out onto her face.
However, that smile quickly dissipates as she watches me set my gaze down at the ground and begin to twiddle with my hands, my brain too jumbled with nerves and 'what if' prompts that are far too loud for my body to keep completely still.
"Well you're very talkative this morning," Naomi points out, amusement all too clear in her tone, most likely only attempting to distract me from what she already figured out to be nerves.
"If you want an answer not filled to the brim with sarcasm, then I suggest you talk to me only after I've listened to a couple One Direction songs," I tell Naomi as I begin to search my bag for my earbuds, only to find myself empty handed afterwards.
"Bet you treated Margot better than this," I hear her mutter under her breath, but I completely ignore her as realization of my current situation dawns upon me.
"Shit. I knew I forgot something," I say under my breath before I shove my bag back down by my feet.
"Should I just sing them for you," Naomi asks me with a smirk on her face, clearly set on getting on my nerves this morning. She may be one of the sweetest people I know, but damn can this girl be an ass when she wants to be. I would applaud her if I wasn't the target of her assholery in this moment.
"She offers as if she has any musical talent," I say just loud enough for Naomi to hear.
"I'll have you know that I was given most of the solos when I was in choir," Naomi tells me in an as-a-matter-of-fact tone. As soon as the words tumble from her lips, I turn to give her a look before nodding my head.
"What?" she asks me, clearly confused by my actions, likely expecting sarcasm or sass that I just didn't provide.
"I didn't know you used to be in choir. But it makes sense," I explain to her. Naomi stays silent, clearly still not totally understanding.
"Ok. So, I imagine you dreamed about becoming a saint when you were younger," I try to explain further.
"Um...."
"Take it as a compliment. You're nice most days,"
"Thanks? But I mean, I was a Catholic child. Wasn't that what we all dreamed about?"
"Probably not Tori," I respond with a scoff. Naomi cracks a smile at my comment before nodding along.
"She was definitely a devil child," Naomi agrees with me.
"Who was definitely a devil child?" Tori's voice sounds from behind me as she slides into the bus seat behind us, having run slightly late per usual.
"You," I say in a rather deadpanned tone. However, at my clarification, an evil grin spreads onto Tori's face as she nods her head.
"Oh yeah. My family used to have to keep the scissors in a locked cupboard that was out of my reach because six year old me used to literally hunt for them so that I could give my family members unprompted hair cuts during the night," Tori tells us as an evil smile slowly spreads onto her face.
"I mean, that's not that bad. You must've wanted to be a hairdresser or something?" Naomi asks, slight hope evident in her voice.
"Nah. I just wanted to fuck with them. The looks on their faces when they got up was what I lived for,"
Naomi's eyes go wide as she stares at her friend while I just laugh, figuring that probably wasn't even the worst of what Tori did as a child.
"Dont act like you didn't do anything," Tori tells Naomi with an eye roll.
"Excuse me?"
"Oh. Don't play that. You know exactly what I'm talking about,"
"What did she do?" I whisper excitedly to Tori.
"When she was in third grade, she didn't win a drawing competition in her class, and she was so angry that she marched in front of the winner and ripped their drawing to shreds right in front of them,"
I gasp dramatically as soon as Tori finishes before I turn to find Naomi with her face in her hands.
"Not the nun in training," I say sarcastically to the girl before snickering.
Tori just laughs as she shakes her head before she grabs Naomi's shoulder and shakes her playfully.
"And we've been friends ever since," Tori finishes, which puts a smile on Naomi's face as she slowly pulls it away from her hands.
"You're kidding," I say, genuinely shocked by the conclusion.
"Nope. The devil child that I was immediately wanted to be friends with this one. Little did I know that she'd actually be my downfall with her little miss perfect shit. Damn. All the havoc I could've caused without you....." Tori says as she shakes her head, trying to conceal the smile that's still on her face.
"What do you mean? You still did it. You literally never listened to me," Naomi reminds her friend. Tori just smirks in response as she looks off wistfully for a moment as if the memories are just now flooding into her mind.
"What about you, Aspen?" Tori prompts.
"What about me?" I ask her innocently as I bat my eyelashes at the girl.
"Come on. Nothing in this world could convince me that you didn't pull some evil shit as a child," Tori states, but I shrug in response.
"I don't think I have any stories. Alex was always the one that pulled that shit," I reveal to them.
"You may have dreamed of being a saint, Nao. But how do you feel now looking at someone who actually has a chance?" I ask her to which she scoffs before shaking her head.
"You literally aren't religious, dude," Tori reminds me.
"And the stuff you do drunk is hardly heaven worthy," Naomi adds under her breath.
"We don't need to get caught up on such minor details," I say as I wave her off.
"Well, I guess that crosses out the sainthood through martyrdom option. You can't die for a god you don't believe in," Naomi informs me.
"More like I'd die because everyone would think I was a god," I say jokingly.
"That literally makes no sense. Wouldn't people worship you if they believed that?" Naomi attempts to find flaw in my logic.
"Um, no. They'd be jealous of all my power and I'd be sentenced to death. Ever heard of the Salem witch trials? The mere thought of those women having power scared them so much that they were put to death. So I can't believe that I would live if everyone thought I was a god,"
"She does make a point...." Tori says under her breath.
"I guess there's a first time for everything," Naomi whispers back to her.
"That is rather uncouth of you to say," I state.
"The fuck kind of words are you using now?" Tori asks me as she gives me a look of absolute disgust.
"It means lacking manners...."
"Shit. Why do you know that though?"
"I'm well read," I say with a shrug, not wanting to admit that Margot's little cousin used it around me the other day and I felt so dumb for not knowing a word that she knew that I had to look it up as soon as I got home.
"Yeah. When was the last time you picked up a book?" Naomi challenges me, causing me to go silent. Yet, it doesn't take me long to rebuttal.
"See what I mean. I'm already being ridiculed by my own friends for having above average vocabulary. I can't imagine I would last long as a god,"
"You wouldn't last long because the power would go to your head and you'd piss off every person you met," Naomi explains to me.
"Impossible. Everyone loves me," I tell her as I shake my head.
"Wait. How did we get on this topic?" Tori asks Naomi and me.
"We called you a devil child," I respond.
"Ah. Did you want to hear more stories from the childhood of Victoria Torres?"
"Do I ever," I affirm with a smile as Naomi just rolls her eyes as a form of response.
————
I'm not sure I've ever walked into a cheer competition without the feeling that my stomach is twisted into a knot that's impossible to untangle. And, clearly, today isn't an exception.
The first thing that I notice is how big the school is. Coming from a small private school, that's usually always the first thing I notice. Afterwards, it's followed by the thought that I better not get lost or I'll likely never find my way out.
The second thing I notice is the large number of teams lining the halls and gathering spaces, many with smiles on their faces which is starkly different from my clenched jaw.
So, when we're finally able to put our bags down and begin stretching in a makeshift practice space, I'm only really going through the motions, too overwhelmed to just brush it off. I don't even look at the other girls while I call out the stretches and counts. That hardly matters, though, given that this stretching routine is all muscle memory by now.
It's only when Naomi taps me on the shoulder with a worried expression engraved on her face that I finally snap out of whatever trance I had been in.
"Are you ok?" she asks me in a volume just above a whisper. I let out a sigh before shaking my head, deciding to be honest to the girl given that she knows me way too well.
"Nerves?" she asks, hitting the nail right on the head.
"Yeah. I-" I never get to finish my explanation before Coach Meghan yells at us to get in our stunt groups and quickly warm up whatever we need to before we compete. I'm pretty sure competition is one of the only events Ashley holds back any snarky comments she would have made towards me. The entire stunt group is silent outside of Tori's counts that guide the rest of us through the stunt. And as we finish each stunt without any complications, my nerves settle a little bit more, even though they don't diminish completely.
Even as Coach Meghan gives us a pep talk, I hardly listen, already figuring it's just her telling us to do our best today and to not worry about winning or losing (despite that being on the forefront of all our minds already).
Overall, cheer competitions involve a lot of waiting. We wait to get on the mat to compete firstly. Then, after we compete, we have to wait to actually get the results. The first round of waiting is always the most nerve wracking while the second, I've found, is just boring given that I've already accepted that what's done is done and all I can do is wait.
After Coach Meghan's speech, we're immediately sent into the first round of waiting, and everyone on the team copes with the nerves differently. Ashley gossips to her friends about whatever she can think of, bitching about the smallest problems in order to make herself feel better and take her mind off of the present. Britney is on her phone, texting her boyfriend until Coach Meghan forces her to hand it over. Tori talks about anything and everything, from why she believes the frogs are the superior form of Haribo gummy to rating the times her mom called her by her full name in the past week. Naomi just listens to Tori, inserting a couple comments when she can, but mostly focusing in on whatever random shit Tori has to say. I pretend I'm listening to both of my friends, nodding along as they ramble on while I'm actually running through the round in my head, making sure that I genuinely know it backwards and forwards because the last thing I would wanna do is let my teammates down.
By the time we're on deck though, almost everyone goes silent because it all feels more real. We can clearly hear the team that's on before us though most of my team tries not to watch them, not wanting to increase their nervousness. I, however, watch every move. I'm not entirely sure why, but it makes me feel better. I take in the girls in the back rows not hitting their motions as hard as everyone else and the center stunt that almost topples. I also notice how clean the tumbling is and make a mental note that my passes need to be that clean, if not cleaner.
By the time our team is called to take the mats, the cheers for our team blend together so that I can't single any one out. And once we start our round, that's the only thing on my mind. However, despite how concentrated I am on what I'm doing, I already know that at the end I'm only going to remember the moments which I'm proud of for doing well and the mistakes I happen to make, the highs and lows.
And that is exactly what happens, by the end of the round, I'm gasping for air and it feels like it flew by in a flash with only a few key moments sticking out at the forefront of my mind. I already know that I wobbled slightly in one stunt and I already know that my toe touch wasn't as good as it normally is. But I still force a cheesy smile to stay on my face until I get off the mat.
As soon as I step onto the hardwood floor of the gym, my mind begins racing with thoughts about my mistakes and how much they could've costed the team. However, all my racing thoughts arrive at a standstill when I look up into the bleachers and find my beautiful girlfriend smiling down at me, pride clear on her face.
However, she only stops my thoughts for a few seconds. No matter how proud she may be, no matter how proud my father looks as he stands a couple rows under her, I can't fully shake my worry. Their pride comes from their views of me as a person and not exclusively as a cheerleader. They don't know anything about the sport and what they should be proud of and what they shouldn't.
So despite Margot being a nice distraction for a few seconds, my analysis still continues as I exit the gym alongside my team. The obsession only comes to a screeching halt when a realization comes to mind that makes me stop in my tracks for a moment. I didn't see Ivy in the crowd.
I force my legs to keep walking despite the feeling that all the blood has been drained from my body. Ever since I met Ivy, she has been to every single one of my cheer competitions without fail. It didn't even cross my mind that she would miss this one. I didn't think it would cross her mind either. But I guess I was wrong.
The only thing that keeps tears from escaping my eyes is the slight hope that I just didn't see her, that when we go out for awards I'll spot her fiery red hair in the crowd and be ashamed that I ever doubted her in the first place. So while my teammates discuss the round we just competed, I stay caught up in my own head, preparing myself for the worst while simultaneously hoping for the best.
By the time awards finally roll around, the nerves that had seemingly dissipated before come back full swing. I may have accepted that what's done is done, but now I'm minutes away from actually finding out the consequences.
As the announcer steps up to the microphone, the chattering within the gym dies down until it's almost entirely silent. All the cheer teams that competed are sat clumped together on the mats they performed on, all extremely attentive to the lady speaking into the mic. She rambles on for a few minutes, talking about the competition itself and how awards work and whatever else she feels is relevant. After a minute or so, I zone out though, that is until she mentions that the teams are going to be awarded their placements.
I feel Naomi's hand latch onto mine before she gives it a nervous squeeze, something she's done at nearly every awards ceremony we've been at together. I squeeze her hand back in response as a way of reminding her that we're in this together, hoping that it will calm her nerves even slightly.
The placements seem to be announced in slow motion. Twentieth through eleventh drag on as I sit there, hoping our team's name doesn't get called.
Tenth.... Ninth.... Eighth.... Seventh.....
Our team still hasn't been announced. By the time the announcer finishes saying who received seventh place, it feels as though our team begins to collectively hold their breath because we need to make top five to reach the next round of competition. As long as we don't hear our team called for sixth, we've made it.
"And sixth place is.... North Franklin!" the announcer calls, prompting most of the tension held within our team to be relieved. A smile slowly spreads onto my face at the realization that we actually made it to the next round of competition. Naomi gives my hand a squeeze, though this time it's out of excitement rather than nerves.
As soon as the announcer reveals who got fourth place, I turn around to look at my teammates to find many of them doing a similar thing, all in disbelief that we placed top three.
"Third place goes to.... Reagan High School!"
Top two.
"And second place is.... St. Catherine of Sienna!"
As our school is called, we all erupt into cheers. I can hardly even pay attention to the rest of the awards ceremony, too excited by the outcome of the competition. However, as soon as the announcer declares that the ceremony is over, I instantly jump up from the mat and pull Tori and Naomi into a tight hug.
I barely even register as the audience from the bleachers begins to flood onto the gym floor. That is, until I spot Margot walking over to me with a smile on her face. I pull away from Naomi and Tori almost instantly, muttering something about telling them to give me a minute, before I proceed to run up to Margot and quite literally into her, setting her back a few steps as I wrap my arms tightly around her.
"You did amazing," she whispers to me as she wraps her arms around me in a tight hug.
"Do I get some kind of prize for that?" I flirt as we pull away from each other.
"I don't know.... It wasn't first place. So...."
I scoff at her response before hitting her arm, prompting a laugh to erupt from her.
"Fuck off. You know I'm kidding," Margot says with a smile on her face. I just roll my eyes in response as a cross my arms over my chest.
"You wanna take this outside?" she asks me in a lower tone as a smirk replaces the cheesy smile that was a result of her laughter. I raise my eyebrows at her words before I nod.
"Just give me a few minutes?" I ask as both Dustin and my father catch my eye as they're walking towards me while carrying on their own conversation.
"I'll be by the doors," Margot tells me before she turns on her heel and begins to make her way towards the gym exit.
"You didn't mess up too bad!" Dustin exclaims as soon as our eyes meet. A smile breaks out on my face as I shake my head at his words.
"Thanks," I say in a completely flat tone despite my smile.
"Nice going, kiddo," my dad congratulates me before pulling me into a hug.
"Thanks, dad,"
"Those handsprings were really good. I saw that you had straight legs and everything," my dad comments as he pulls away from the hug, an attempt to employ the cheer knowledge he's picked up on throughout the years. Ever since I started cheer when I was little, he would ask all about it just so he could be more involved in the sport that I love. So when he makes comments like these, they always bring a smile to my face because they show just how much he actually cares, even if he can't always be there.
"Yeah. The team before me had pretty good tumblers so I made an extra note to do that," I agree with him as I nod my head.
"You were loud so that's good?" Dustin offers, trying to keep up with my dad and me.
"What an astute observation, Dustin. I'm glad you were able to recognize such a thing," I say sarcastically in a dramatic British accent.
"Well, kiddo. It looks like your team wants a picture and they can't do that without their captain. I'll see you at home?" my dad points out as he gestures towards my team grouping together.
"Yeah. See you then," I affirm.
"You seriously did great," my dad reaffirms before he kisses the top of my head and then begins to walk away.
"Yeah. You were alright," Dustin says with a shrug. I roll my eyes, and a smile begins to spread onto my face but stops short when I remember the question I had been meaning to ask him.
"Oh. Um, Ivy wasn't.... she didn't end up coming. Did she?" I ask him hesitantly. Dustin lets out a sigh as he shakes his head.
"I'm sorry. She told me that she was sorry that she had to miss it this time," Dustin explains to me. I nod my head in response as I try not to cry, knowing I need to take a picture in a few moments.
"Well, thanks for coming," I tell him in the most genuine tone I can manage as it's how I truly feel.
"Anytime. You know that,"
"I do," I confirm. With that, we turn opposite ways, Dustin heading towards the exit and me heading back to my team. The pictures only take a few minutes at most, yet for some unknown reason, Ashley decides to stop me afterwards with an evil smirk on her lips. Grabbing my arm, she pulls me close so that her lips are only a couple inches from my ear.
"I noticed Ivy didn't make it. Did she finally get too annoyed with you?" she whispers to me, leaving me standing still, almost frozen in shock. All I can do is let my eyes follow her as she walks away.
I'm left standing there for a few minutes at least, still trying to process the words and the amount of truth that lies in them. And this time, I can't help but side with Ashley because maybe she is actually right.
Breaking from my trance, I try not to put too much more thought into it as it just continues to disturb me, and before I know it, I'm walking over to Margot. If I keep my thoughts fully focused on my girlfriend, then I can't possibly think of anything else, specifically the main thing that's so severely upsetting me.
However, it isn't just Margot that I'm walking over to as she's talking to a girl that I've never seen before.
My pace quickens slightly once I see the girl, and it's only when I stop next to Margot, in front of the girl, that I'm actually able to take a good look.
She's taller than both Margot and I, and that's probably the first thing that I notice. Secondly, I notice her hair color given that it isn't truly a natural one but instead a jet black. The hair itself stops just above her neck with bangs that reach just above her eyebrows. Then, I notice her bright blue eyes that sit behind aviator style glasses and her freckles. She's wearing a sweatshirt with the logo of a team we competed against matched with a pair of leggings.
As soon as she saw me, she seemed to get nervous. Her hands found their way into the front pocket of her sweatshirt as she began to shift her weight from one foot to the other.
"Aspen, this is Nick. Nick, this is my friend Aspen," Margot introduces us to each other, and I hope that the word friend tastes as bitter in her mouth as it sounds piercing to my ears.
"It's, uh, nice to meet you.... Aspen," Nick says with a small smile.
"It's nice to meet you too," I return the sentiment with a smile.
Nick. That name sounds familiar. But why?
"I already told Margot, but I was, well, here to cheer on my girlfriend. She, uh. Her team got third," Nick explains.
"Oh, alright," I say because I'm not entirely sure what else to say.
"Yeah. Well, it was nice to catch up with you, Margot. And, um. It was, it was nice to meet you, Aspen," Nick says before she walks away, likely to find her previously mentioned girlfriend.
It's only then that it actually clicks who Nick is. She was best friends with Margot when they were little. She was the girl who has a crush on Margot that Margot didn't return.
"She's always been awkward when first meeting people," Margot says in more of a reflective tone as the girl disappears from our sight.
"That's like.... Nick Nick?" I ask Margot as we walk out of the gym.
"Mhm," she confirms with a nod.
"Damn. She was pretty. And you didn't want that?" I double check with her.
"She was like a sister," my girlfriend replies with a shrug. It's then that we reach the spot I stored my cheer bag in. I quickly pull my phone out of the side pocket before I swing the bag over my shoulder. I only have one message.
Ivy: Good luck today! Sorry I had to miss it, but I know you'll do great. :)
Letting out a sigh, I shove my phone into my back pocket before beginning to lead Margot back though the school.
"What?" Margot asks me as soon as we start walking.
"What?" I repeat her, confused on exactly what she's referring to.
"Your mood completely changed," she explains.
"Ivy wasn't here today," I say with a sigh, not even bothering trying to hide anything from this girl.
"She was supposed to come?"
"She's come to every single one.... Except this one,"
"Fuck,"
"I mean, hey. She sent me a good luck text," I say sarcastically, rather fed up with this bullshit. Margot's expression changes to one of pity as soon as she registers what I said.
"You deserve better than that," she tells me.
"I mean, it's my fault really. She's just trying to do what's best,"
"For you or for her?"
"For me," I defend without without hesitation.
"But she's not here," Margot states slowly. I groan in frustrated as I shake my head.
"I know that. And maybe that's not what's best because I fucking miss her. But.... Just...."
I take a deep breath before I decide to continue, "I don't want to tell her she's wrong and admit she's hurting me any more. I already know she feels bad, and maybe time apart isn't the worst thing. It just feels like it."
"She'll be back," Margot assures me.
"I guess...." I answer, and by this time we've made it to the exit doors of the school. Margot leads me out of the school, but I quickly bring the topic back as soon as we step into the cold winter air, given the new jumbled thoughts that just those few seconds brought.
"Just. Maybe she did just use this as an excuse to finally ditch me. I got too annoying or-"
"Stop. You're not annoying," Margot interrupts me in a firm tone as she grabs my shoulders and turns me around to face her.
"I just. Sometimes I know I get on peoples' nerves and I don't mean to, but it happens. And I wouldn't blame her if that's what she decided but...."
"Aspen. The people who care about you, who genuinely want to be in your life, who know you, don't think that. Ivy is one of those people. I'm one of those people. People you don't have to worry about leaving,"
"What? Do you have a club that meets every other Wednesday?" I ask with a snort.
"Shit. Who snitched?" Margot jokes back. I shake my head at her before I look back up at her with a smile.
"Seriously. Don't worry so much. Ok?" she asks as she cups my cheek with the palm of her hand and wipes away a tear with her thumb that I didn't even realize was there. I nod, not breaking eye contact with her and not wanting to say anything in the chance that I ruin the moment. With that, she leans down to connect her lips with mine, something I've quite honestly been waiting for all day. My hands eventually find their way in her hair as I deepen the kiss.
However, we're quickly interrupted as the sound of footsteps crunching in the snow causes me to quickly pull away from her. I hate that I don't miss the disappointed look on her face before I begin to frantically look around us.
"I'm sorry," I say quietly to her as I turn my attention back to her after finding no one in sight.
"Kind of ruined the moment," Margot teases me as I rest my head forward on her shoulder. She wraps her arms around me as we begin to sway back and forth, from one foot to the other.
"I would've had my first kiss years ago if it wasn't for interruptions," I tell her, still wrapped in her arms.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. I went on a movie date with a boy in my grade and he was leaning in to kiss me but some old lady behind me apparently thought that was indecent because she fucking threw popcorn at us!"
"Seriously?" Margot asks with a chuckle.
"No," I say with a scoff, "You just wouldn't believe I was a good liar."
I smirk into her shoulder before she promptly pushes me away from her as she rolls her eyes, despite a smile clearly trying to emerge onto her face.
"Whatever. You ready to go?" she asks me. I just smile and nod before following her out into the falling snow.
"Fucking hell," I mutter underneath my breath as I aggressively finish knotting my shoe before pulling my phone out of my pocket and nearly dropping it as I hit the button to accept the call and hold it next to my ear.
"Hello?" I greet whoever's on the other end of the line, the caller ID being neglected completely in this moment. In the seconds that I wait for a response, I simultaneously attempt to catch my breath from getting ready at such super sonic speeds, and I'm left hoping that whoever I'm talking to doesn't mind my dog-like panting.
"You good?" Margot's voice resounds from the phone speaker before being followed by chuckling.
"Woke up late," I explain as my heart begins to beat fast for an entirely different reason.
"Really? Sounds like you just ran a marathon,"
"Dude. I had to run down my stairs. That's basically the same thing," I argue against her comment.
"And you think you're gonna get through an entire cheer competition today?"
"Oh, fuck off," I say as I roll my eyes, despite her not being able to see me.
"Language," my dad chides from behind me, startling me slightly, given that I didn't hear him creep up.
"Dang. I didn't even hear you coming," I tell him as a small smile slips onto my face.
"What?" Margot asks, clearly only having heard me.
"Talking to my dad. Sorry," I explain to her quickly before turning my attention back to my father.
"I guess I missed my calling as a spy," my dad jokes around. I just shake my head at him before giving him a quick hug.
"I'm heading off to meet the team. Am I gonna see you at the competition?" I ask him as I grab my keys, to which he furrows his eyebrows in response.
"Yeah. Um, is your friend not driving you?" he questions me before pointing towards the front door.
"Wait. What?"
I tug my cheer bag onto my shoulder before walking out the front door, sending my dad a quick wave before I close it behind me. It's only then that I notice the car pulled into my driveway and the beautiful girl sitting in the driver's seat. As a smile spreads onto my face, I quickly end the phone call before hurrying over to her car.
"What the fuck are you doing here?" I inquire as soon as I open the passenger side door.
"Nice way to greet your girlfriend who woke up early just to Uber your ass," Margot quips back which quickly puts a smile on my face as I get into the car.
"How did you know.... how did you plan this?"
"I do have Naomi's phone number, believe it or not," Margot answers me with unfailing sarcasm.
"I'm not sure how I feel about my girlfriend texting other girls," I joke as I click my seatbelt into place. However, when I turn my attention back to the girl in the driver's seat, I instantly notice the frown on her lips.
"What?" I ask her softly, concern beginning to bubble in my stomach.
"I was just.... I was hoping to see you in your cheer uniform," Margot says as though it's the most disappointing ordeal in the world, despite the smirk that's threatening to spill onto her lips. Rolling my eyes, I smack her shoulder before shaking my head. Margot just chuckles in response as she shifts her car into gear and pulls out of my driveway before promptly taking off down the street.
"It is cold outside, dude. If you thought I wasn't going to be wearing four layers of sweatshirts.... Delusional," I respond before shoving my hands into my hoodie's front pocket as if to prove a point while also using my words as an attempt to distract Margot from the blush spreading onto my cheeks.
"I was trying to flirt, dumbass,"
My cheeks only get warmer with her words.
"Shut up," I snap back as I cross my arms over my chest and decide to look out the window in an attempt to both look slightly pissed and also hide my blush. However, as Margot lets out a breathy laugh, I can't help but turn my head back around so that I can see the smile that accompanies it.
"You do know where you're taking me, right?" I double check with the girl beside me as she turns off of my street.
"Naomi mentioned a bus being parked at our lovely school,"
"And you do know.... Not that I ever doubted you or anything...."
"Aspen Grayson, the best liar in the world, folks," Margot says sarcastically, which I instantly take slight offense to.
"Bullshit,"
"Really?" Margot challenges.
"You noticed my cadence change at the end there? Comedic effect," I clarify.
"Sure," Margot replies, still not convinced.
"I'm serious. I'm a great liar," I insist.
"Because that's the kind of statement you want to hear from the person you're in a relationship with,"
"At least I'm disclosing it now," I state with a shrug.
"Not much of a disclosure if I don't believe you,"
"Fine. You'll realize I'm right soon enough,"
"Again, not the type of thing you wanna be promising to the person you're in a relationship with," Margot reminds me as a small smile slips onto her lips.
"What? You don't wanna experience my lying skills for future reference?" I challenge the girl beside me.
"I can't think of a situation where I would need that, so no,"
"Um, think again. You wanna get away with murder? I got you covered. No snitches here. Even the fucking FBI couldn't crack me," I tell her confidently.
"And you immediately jumped to covering for a murder because...."
"Fine. Tax fraud. I could lie and say that you are totally not doing your taxes.... fraudulently,"
"Yes, because as a seventeen year old, I am in an unending cycle of worry over taxes," Margot remarks sarcastically.
"Ok. Fuck you,"
"We just started dating...."
"I am just trying to state ways in which I can excel at being a girlfriend, and you are absolutely shitting on them all," I continue on, completely ignoring her last comment.
"Last time I checked, you stated a singular way," Margot reminds me.
"Details," I say as I wave my hand in a dismissive manner towards her.
"Why do I put up with you?" Margot questions under her breath, purposely just loud enough for me to hear.
"I'm not sure, but I still haven't given you that one sweatshirt back, and if I had to guess then you're probably just waiting for me to return that, given that you have a weird affinity for that rolling pebbles band," I tell her with a shrug. Margot snorts at my response which quickly puts a smile on my face, breaking the nonchalant demeanor I tried to carry alongside my explanation.
"That's almost worse than Lemonade Mouth," Margot says.
"Excuse you. Lemonade Mouth has made bangers such as hit songs 'Determinate' and 'She's So Gone'," I defend the band from the Disney Channel original movie.
"But was Lemonade Mouth inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame?" Margot challenges me.
"Actually, my music taste is more underground, more selective. I don't just like what everyone else likes," I say dramatically in response.
"And your explanation for liking One Direction?" Margot counters. I go silent for a moment, wracking my brain as to how I'm going to respond to her question that easily landed me in a trap set by my own words.
"We're changing the topic now," I declare.
"Don't know how to respond to a simple question?" Margot teases me to which I roll my eyes.
"My response is the equivalent of me placing a draw 4 card down in Uno,"
"Had to go for the throat," Margot chuckles.
"A standard wild card simply doesn't have the same flair for dramatics," I say with a shrug.
"And the new topic?"
"Shit. I'm bad at quick decisions. You're gonna have to give me a minute,"
"Want me to time you?" Margot teases.
"Fuck no. A count down would just make me more anxious,"
"Then how am I supposed to accurately give you a minute?" Margot asks sarcastically.
"It's an expression. Like two shakes of a lamb's tail,"
"The fuck is two shakes of a lamb's tail?"
"I already told you. It's an expression," I repeat to her as I roll my eyes.
"Who the fuck says that?"
"Tons of people," I defend myself.
"I swear. You're making this shit up,"
"It means that you'll get something done quickly. Like, I could say: 'I'll finish writing my name in two shakes of a lamb's tail',"
"You've never used it though,"
"So you want me to use it more?"
"That is definitely not what I said,"
I turn the smile that's attempting to spill onto my lips into a smirk as I force myself to look out the passenger side window as we pull into the school parking lot where the bus is located.
"You're gonna start using it, aren't you?" Margot asks me with a sigh.
"Do you even need to ask?"
My girlfriend just rolls her eyes at me before shaking her head.
"Good luck at the competition. I'll meet you there," Margot tells me as a smile slowly spreads onto her face.
"You'll be cheering for me?" I ask her as she pulls my hand into hers.
"Do you even need to ask?" she mimics my previous question.
A smile breaks into my face as I give her hand a squeeze and she quickly returns it. As I glance at my teammates around me getting out of their cars and talking animatedly to each other, my stomach sinks slightly knowing that I can't kiss my girlfriend goodbye. And at the same time, I know that the problem that I'm arriving at is entirely my fault which hurts even more. Guilt begins to consume me, but quickly gets drowned out as I glance from girl to girl and subconsciously wonder what each of their reactions would be to my girlfriend and I kissing, while I also scold myself for doing such a thing.
Yet somehow, Margot senses it and gives my hand another squeeze, pulling me back into reality, and turning my focus back to her.
"I'm sorry," I immediately say to her, the guilt returning once our eyes meet.
"Don't be. Do your best out there.... ok?" Margot reassures me as her thumb draws circles on the back of my hand.
"Alright. I'll see you in two shakes of a lamb's tail then?" I offer, trying to lighten the mood despite the tightness in my chest. Almost instantly, Margot drops my hand before beginning to shake her head.
"Get out of my car," she says as she attempts to keep the smile off of her face. I just smile as I open the door and get out with my cheer bag in hand.
"You're lucky I keep things so interesting," I tell her.
"Keep telling yourself that. I'll see you later,"
"In two-"
Before I can even finish, Margot reaches across the center console and closes my door for me before quickly shifting the car into gear and driving off, leaving me standing by the abandoned parking spot with a dopey smile on my face.
I don't stay that way for long, though, before I turn on my heel and let out a sigh before slowly walking towards the bus filled with my teammates.
The all too familiar sight brings nerves that were hidden before as I was too distracted by the girl in the driver's seat to worry about a high school cheer competition. Yet that's the only thing left on my mind now. So as I step on the bus and begin to greet all my teammates, the smile I give them doesn't quite reach my eyes.
"You're welcome," Naomi says with a smirk as I slide into the seat next to her.
"What?" I ask, confused as to what exactly she's referring to as my eyes flit around the bus, not landing on one particular spot for far too long.
"Did Margot not drive you here?" she asks as she raises her eyebrows at me. I just roll my eyes at her in response, but that's clearly the only affirmation she needs as a small smile breaks out onto her face.
However, that smile quickly dissipates as she watches me set my gaze down at the ground and begin to twiddle with my hands, my brain too jumbled with nerves and 'what if' prompts that are far too loud for my body to keep completely still.
"Well you're very talkative this morning," Naomi points out, amusement all too clear in her tone, most likely only attempting to distract me from what she already figured out to be nerves.
"If you want an answer not filled to the brim with sarcasm, then I suggest you talk to me only after I've listened to a couple One Direction songs," I tell Naomi as I begin to search my bag for my earbuds, only to find myself empty handed afterwards.
"Bet you treated Margot better than this," I hear her mutter under her breath, but I completely ignore her as realization of my current situation dawns upon me.
"Shit. I knew I forgot something," I say under my breath before I shove my bag back down by my feet.
"Should I just sing them for you," Naomi asks me with a smirk on her face, clearly set on getting on my nerves this morning. She may be one of the sweetest people I know, but damn can this girl be an ass when she wants to be. I would applaud her if I wasn't the target of her assholery in this moment.
"She offers as if she has any musical talent," I say just loud enough for Naomi to hear.
"I'll have you know that I was given most of the solos when I was in choir," Naomi tells me in an as-a-matter-of-fact tone. As soon as the words tumble from her lips, I turn to give her a look before nodding my head.
"What?" she asks me, clearly confused by my actions, likely expecting sarcasm or sass that I just didn't provide.
"I didn't know you used to be in choir. But it makes sense," I explain to her. Naomi stays silent, clearly still not totally understanding.
"Ok. So, I imagine you dreamed about becoming a saint when you were younger," I try to explain further.
"Um...."
"Take it as a compliment. You're nice most days,"
"Thanks? But I mean, I was a Catholic child. Wasn't that what we all dreamed about?"
"Probably not Tori," I respond with a scoff. Naomi cracks a smile at my comment before nodding along.
"She was definitely a devil child," Naomi agrees with me.
"Who was definitely a devil child?" Tori's voice sounds from behind me as she slides into the bus seat behind us, having run slightly late per usual.
"You," I say in a rather deadpanned tone. However, at my clarification, an evil grin spreads onto Tori's face as she nods her head.
"Oh yeah. My family used to have to keep the scissors in a locked cupboard that was out of my reach because six year old me used to literally hunt for them so that I could give my family members unprompted hair cuts during the night," Tori tells us as an evil smile slowly spreads onto her face.
"I mean, that's not that bad. You must've wanted to be a hairdresser or something?" Naomi asks, slight hope evident in her voice.
"Nah. I just wanted to fuck with them. The looks on their faces when they got up was what I lived for,"
Naomi's eyes go wide as she stares at her friend while I just laugh, figuring that probably wasn't even the worst of what Tori did as a child.
"Dont act like you didn't do anything," Tori tells Naomi with an eye roll.
"Excuse me?"
"Oh. Don't play that. You know exactly what I'm talking about,"
"What did she do?" I whisper excitedly to Tori.
"When she was in third grade, she didn't win a drawing competition in her class, and she was so angry that she marched in front of the winner and ripped their drawing to shreds right in front of them,"
I gasp dramatically as soon as Tori finishes before I turn to find Naomi with her face in her hands.
"Not the nun in training," I say sarcastically to the girl before snickering.
Tori just laughs as she shakes her head before she grabs Naomi's shoulder and shakes her playfully.
"And we've been friends ever since," Tori finishes, which puts a smile on Naomi's face as she slowly pulls it away from her hands.
"You're kidding," I say, genuinely shocked by the conclusion.
"Nope. The devil child that I was immediately wanted to be friends with this one. Little did I know that she'd actually be my downfall with her little miss perfect shit. Damn. All the havoc I could've caused without you....." Tori says as she shakes her head, trying to conceal the smile that's still on her face.
"What do you mean? You still did it. You literally never listened to me," Naomi reminds her friend. Tori just smirks in response as she looks off wistfully for a moment as if the memories are just now flooding into her mind.
"What about you, Aspen?" Tori prompts.
"What about me?" I ask her innocently as I bat my eyelashes at the girl.
"Come on. Nothing in this world could convince me that you didn't pull some evil shit as a child," Tori states, but I shrug in response.
"I don't think I have any stories. Alex was always the one that pulled that shit," I reveal to them.
"You may have dreamed of being a saint, Nao. But how do you feel now looking at someone who actually has a chance?" I ask her to which she scoffs before shaking her head.
"You literally aren't religious, dude," Tori reminds me.
"And the stuff you do drunk is hardly heaven worthy," Naomi adds under her breath.
"We don't need to get caught up on such minor details," I say as I wave her off.
"Well, I guess that crosses out the sainthood through martyrdom option. You can't die for a god you don't believe in," Naomi informs me.
"More like I'd die because everyone would think I was a god," I say jokingly.
"That literally makes no sense. Wouldn't people worship you if they believed that?" Naomi attempts to find flaw in my logic.
"Um, no. They'd be jealous of all my power and I'd be sentenced to death. Ever heard of the Salem witch trials? The mere thought of those women having power scared them so much that they were put to death. So I can't believe that I would live if everyone thought I was a god,"
"She does make a point...." Tori says under her breath.
"I guess there's a first time for everything," Naomi whispers back to her.
"That is rather uncouth of you to say," I state.
"The fuck kind of words are you using now?" Tori asks me as she gives me a look of absolute disgust.
"It means lacking manners...."
"Shit. Why do you know that though?"
"I'm well read," I say with a shrug, not wanting to admit that Margot's little cousin used it around me the other day and I felt so dumb for not knowing a word that she knew that I had to look it up as soon as I got home.
"Yeah. When was the last time you picked up a book?" Naomi challenges me, causing me to go silent. Yet, it doesn't take me long to rebuttal.
"See what I mean. I'm already being ridiculed by my own friends for having above average vocabulary. I can't imagine I would last long as a god,"
"You wouldn't last long because the power would go to your head and you'd piss off every person you met," Naomi explains to me.
"Impossible. Everyone loves me," I tell her as I shake my head.
"Wait. How did we get on this topic?" Tori asks Naomi and me.
"We called you a devil child," I respond.
"Ah. Did you want to hear more stories from the childhood of Victoria Torres?"
"Do I ever," I affirm with a smile as Naomi just rolls her eyes as a form of response.
————
I'm not sure I've ever walked into a cheer competition without the feeling that my stomach is twisted into a knot that's impossible to untangle. And, clearly, today isn't an exception.
The first thing that I notice is how big the school is. Coming from a small private school, that's usually always the first thing I notice. Afterwards, it's followed by the thought that I better not get lost or I'll likely never find my way out.
The second thing I notice is the large number of teams lining the halls and gathering spaces, many with smiles on their faces which is starkly different from my clenched jaw.
So, when we're finally able to put our bags down and begin stretching in a makeshift practice space, I'm only really going through the motions, too overwhelmed to just brush it off. I don't even look at the other girls while I call out the stretches and counts. That hardly matters, though, given that this stretching routine is all muscle memory by now.
It's only when Naomi taps me on the shoulder with a worried expression engraved on her face that I finally snap out of whatever trance I had been in.
"Are you ok?" she asks me in a volume just above a whisper. I let out a sigh before shaking my head, deciding to be honest to the girl given that she knows me way too well.
"Nerves?" she asks, hitting the nail right on the head.
"Yeah. I-" I never get to finish my explanation before Coach Meghan yells at us to get in our stunt groups and quickly warm up whatever we need to before we compete. I'm pretty sure competition is one of the only events Ashley holds back any snarky comments she would have made towards me. The entire stunt group is silent outside of Tori's counts that guide the rest of us through the stunt. And as we finish each stunt without any complications, my nerves settle a little bit more, even though they don't diminish completely.
Even as Coach Meghan gives us a pep talk, I hardly listen, already figuring it's just her telling us to do our best today and to not worry about winning or losing (despite that being on the forefront of all our minds already).
Overall, cheer competitions involve a lot of waiting. We wait to get on the mat to compete firstly. Then, after we compete, we have to wait to actually get the results. The first round of waiting is always the most nerve wracking while the second, I've found, is just boring given that I've already accepted that what's done is done and all I can do is wait.
After Coach Meghan's speech, we're immediately sent into the first round of waiting, and everyone on the team copes with the nerves differently. Ashley gossips to her friends about whatever she can think of, bitching about the smallest problems in order to make herself feel better and take her mind off of the present. Britney is on her phone, texting her boyfriend until Coach Meghan forces her to hand it over. Tori talks about anything and everything, from why she believes the frogs are the superior form of Haribo gummy to rating the times her mom called her by her full name in the past week. Naomi just listens to Tori, inserting a couple comments when she can, but mostly focusing in on whatever random shit Tori has to say. I pretend I'm listening to both of my friends, nodding along as they ramble on while I'm actually running through the round in my head, making sure that I genuinely know it backwards and forwards because the last thing I would wanna do is let my teammates down.
By the time we're on deck though, almost everyone goes silent because it all feels more real. We can clearly hear the team that's on before us though most of my team tries not to watch them, not wanting to increase their nervousness. I, however, watch every move. I'm not entirely sure why, but it makes me feel better. I take in the girls in the back rows not hitting their motions as hard as everyone else and the center stunt that almost topples. I also notice how clean the tumbling is and make a mental note that my passes need to be that clean, if not cleaner.
By the time our team is called to take the mats, the cheers for our team blend together so that I can't single any one out. And once we start our round, that's the only thing on my mind. However, despite how concentrated I am on what I'm doing, I already know that at the end I'm only going to remember the moments which I'm proud of for doing well and the mistakes I happen to make, the highs and lows.
And that is exactly what happens, by the end of the round, I'm gasping for air and it feels like it flew by in a flash with only a few key moments sticking out at the forefront of my mind. I already know that I wobbled slightly in one stunt and I already know that my toe touch wasn't as good as it normally is. But I still force a cheesy smile to stay on my face until I get off the mat.
As soon as I step onto the hardwood floor of the gym, my mind begins racing with thoughts about my mistakes and how much they could've costed the team. However, all my racing thoughts arrive at a standstill when I look up into the bleachers and find my beautiful girlfriend smiling down at me, pride clear on her face.
However, she only stops my thoughts for a few seconds. No matter how proud she may be, no matter how proud my father looks as he stands a couple rows under her, I can't fully shake my worry. Their pride comes from their views of me as a person and not exclusively as a cheerleader. They don't know anything about the sport and what they should be proud of and what they shouldn't.
So despite Margot being a nice distraction for a few seconds, my analysis still continues as I exit the gym alongside my team. The obsession only comes to a screeching halt when a realization comes to mind that makes me stop in my tracks for a moment. I didn't see Ivy in the crowd.
I force my legs to keep walking despite the feeling that all the blood has been drained from my body. Ever since I met Ivy, she has been to every single one of my cheer competitions without fail. It didn't even cross my mind that she would miss this one. I didn't think it would cross her mind either. But I guess I was wrong.
The only thing that keeps tears from escaping my eyes is the slight hope that I just didn't see her, that when we go out for awards I'll spot her fiery red hair in the crowd and be ashamed that I ever doubted her in the first place. So while my teammates discuss the round we just competed, I stay caught up in my own head, preparing myself for the worst while simultaneously hoping for the best.
By the time awards finally roll around, the nerves that had seemingly dissipated before come back full swing. I may have accepted that what's done is done, but now I'm minutes away from actually finding out the consequences.
As the announcer steps up to the microphone, the chattering within the gym dies down until it's almost entirely silent. All the cheer teams that competed are sat clumped together on the mats they performed on, all extremely attentive to the lady speaking into the mic. She rambles on for a few minutes, talking about the competition itself and how awards work and whatever else she feels is relevant. After a minute or so, I zone out though, that is until she mentions that the teams are going to be awarded their placements.
I feel Naomi's hand latch onto mine before she gives it a nervous squeeze, something she's done at nearly every awards ceremony we've been at together. I squeeze her hand back in response as a way of reminding her that we're in this together, hoping that it will calm her nerves even slightly.
The placements seem to be announced in slow motion. Twentieth through eleventh drag on as I sit there, hoping our team's name doesn't get called.
Tenth.... Ninth.... Eighth.... Seventh.....
Our team still hasn't been announced. By the time the announcer finishes saying who received seventh place, it feels as though our team begins to collectively hold their breath because we need to make top five to reach the next round of competition. As long as we don't hear our team called for sixth, we've made it.
"And sixth place is.... North Franklin!" the announcer calls, prompting most of the tension held within our team to be relieved. A smile slowly spreads onto my face at the realization that we actually made it to the next round of competition. Naomi gives my hand a squeeze, though this time it's out of excitement rather than nerves.
As soon as the announcer reveals who got fourth place, I turn around to look at my teammates to find many of them doing a similar thing, all in disbelief that we placed top three.
"Third place goes to.... Reagan High School!"
Top two.
"And second place is.... St. Catherine of Sienna!"
As our school is called, we all erupt into cheers. I can hardly even pay attention to the rest of the awards ceremony, too excited by the outcome of the competition. However, as soon as the announcer declares that the ceremony is over, I instantly jump up from the mat and pull Tori and Naomi into a tight hug.
I barely even register as the audience from the bleachers begins to flood onto the gym floor. That is, until I spot Margot walking over to me with a smile on her face. I pull away from Naomi and Tori almost instantly, muttering something about telling them to give me a minute, before I proceed to run up to Margot and quite literally into her, setting her back a few steps as I wrap my arms tightly around her.
"You did amazing," she whispers to me as she wraps her arms around me in a tight hug.
"Do I get some kind of prize for that?" I flirt as we pull away from each other.
"I don't know.... It wasn't first place. So...."
I scoff at her response before hitting her arm, prompting a laugh to erupt from her.
"Fuck off. You know I'm kidding," Margot says with a smile on her face. I just roll my eyes in response as a cross my arms over my chest.
"You wanna take this outside?" she asks me in a lower tone as a smirk replaces the cheesy smile that was a result of her laughter. I raise my eyebrows at her words before I nod.
"Just give me a few minutes?" I ask as both Dustin and my father catch my eye as they're walking towards me while carrying on their own conversation.
"I'll be by the doors," Margot tells me before she turns on her heel and begins to make her way towards the gym exit.
"You didn't mess up too bad!" Dustin exclaims as soon as our eyes meet. A smile breaks out on my face as I shake my head at his words.
"Thanks," I say in a completely flat tone despite my smile.
"Nice going, kiddo," my dad congratulates me before pulling me into a hug.
"Thanks, dad,"
"Those handsprings were really good. I saw that you had straight legs and everything," my dad comments as he pulls away from the hug, an attempt to employ the cheer knowledge he's picked up on throughout the years. Ever since I started cheer when I was little, he would ask all about it just so he could be more involved in the sport that I love. So when he makes comments like these, they always bring a smile to my face because they show just how much he actually cares, even if he can't always be there.
"Yeah. The team before me had pretty good tumblers so I made an extra note to do that," I agree with him as I nod my head.
"You were loud so that's good?" Dustin offers, trying to keep up with my dad and me.
"What an astute observation, Dustin. I'm glad you were able to recognize such a thing," I say sarcastically in a dramatic British accent.
"Well, kiddo. It looks like your team wants a picture and they can't do that without their captain. I'll see you at home?" my dad points out as he gestures towards my team grouping together.
"Yeah. See you then," I affirm.
"You seriously did great," my dad reaffirms before he kisses the top of my head and then begins to walk away.
"Yeah. You were alright," Dustin says with a shrug. I roll my eyes, and a smile begins to spread onto my face but stops short when I remember the question I had been meaning to ask him.
"Oh. Um, Ivy wasn't.... she didn't end up coming. Did she?" I ask him hesitantly. Dustin lets out a sigh as he shakes his head.
"I'm sorry. She told me that she was sorry that she had to miss it this time," Dustin explains to me. I nod my head in response as I try not to cry, knowing I need to take a picture in a few moments.
"Well, thanks for coming," I tell him in the most genuine tone I can manage as it's how I truly feel.
"Anytime. You know that,"
"I do," I confirm. With that, we turn opposite ways, Dustin heading towards the exit and me heading back to my team. The pictures only take a few minutes at most, yet for some unknown reason, Ashley decides to stop me afterwards with an evil smirk on her lips. Grabbing my arm, she pulls me close so that her lips are only a couple inches from my ear.
"I noticed Ivy didn't make it. Did she finally get too annoyed with you?" she whispers to me, leaving me standing still, almost frozen in shock. All I can do is let my eyes follow her as she walks away.
I'm left standing there for a few minutes at least, still trying to process the words and the amount of truth that lies in them. And this time, I can't help but side with Ashley because maybe she is actually right.
Breaking from my trance, I try not to put too much more thought into it as it just continues to disturb me, and before I know it, I'm walking over to Margot. If I keep my thoughts fully focused on my girlfriend, then I can't possibly think of anything else, specifically the main thing that's so severely upsetting me.
However, it isn't just Margot that I'm walking over to as she's talking to a girl that I've never seen before.
My pace quickens slightly once I see the girl, and it's only when I stop next to Margot, in front of the girl, that I'm actually able to take a good look.
She's taller than both Margot and I, and that's probably the first thing that I notice. Secondly, I notice her hair color given that it isn't truly a natural one but instead a jet black. The hair itself stops just above her neck with bangs that reach just above her eyebrows. Then, I notice her bright blue eyes that sit behind aviator style glasses and her freckles. She's wearing a sweatshirt with the logo of a team we competed against matched with a pair of leggings.
As soon as she saw me, she seemed to get nervous. Her hands found their way into the front pocket of her sweatshirt as she began to shift her weight from one foot to the other.
"Aspen, this is Nick. Nick, this is my friend Aspen," Margot introduces us to each other, and I hope that the word friend tastes as bitter in her mouth as it sounds piercing to my ears.
"It's, uh, nice to meet you.... Aspen," Nick says with a small smile.
"It's nice to meet you too," I return the sentiment with a smile.
Nick. That name sounds familiar. But why?
"I already told Margot, but I was, well, here to cheer on my girlfriend. She, uh. Her team got third," Nick explains.
"Oh, alright," I say because I'm not entirely sure what else to say.
"Yeah. Well, it was nice to catch up with you, Margot. And, um. It was, it was nice to meet you, Aspen," Nick says before she walks away, likely to find her previously mentioned girlfriend.
It's only then that it actually clicks who Nick is. She was best friends with Margot when they were little. She was the girl who has a crush on Margot that Margot didn't return.
"She's always been awkward when first meeting people," Margot says in more of a reflective tone as the girl disappears from our sight.
"That's like.... Nick Nick?" I ask Margot as we walk out of the gym.
"Mhm," she confirms with a nod.
"Damn. She was pretty. And you didn't want that?" I double check with her.
"She was like a sister," my girlfriend replies with a shrug. It's then that we reach the spot I stored my cheer bag in. I quickly pull my phone out of the side pocket before I swing the bag over my shoulder. I only have one message.
Ivy: Good luck today! Sorry I had to miss it, but I know you'll do great. :)
Letting out a sigh, I shove my phone into my back pocket before beginning to lead Margot back though the school.
"What?" Margot asks me as soon as we start walking.
"What?" I repeat her, confused on exactly what she's referring to.
"Your mood completely changed," she explains.
"Ivy wasn't here today," I say with a sigh, not even bothering trying to hide anything from this girl.
"She was supposed to come?"
"She's come to every single one.... Except this one,"
"Fuck,"
"I mean, hey. She sent me a good luck text," I say sarcastically, rather fed up with this bullshit. Margot's expression changes to one of pity as soon as she registers what I said.
"You deserve better than that," she tells me.
"I mean, it's my fault really. She's just trying to do what's best,"
"For you or for her?"
"For me," I defend without without hesitation.
"But she's not here," Margot states slowly. I groan in frustrated as I shake my head.
"I know that. And maybe that's not what's best because I fucking miss her. But.... Just...."
I take a deep breath before I decide to continue, "I don't want to tell her she's wrong and admit she's hurting me any more. I already know she feels bad, and maybe time apart isn't the worst thing. It just feels like it."
"She'll be back," Margot assures me.
"I guess...." I answer, and by this time we've made it to the exit doors of the school. Margot leads me out of the school, but I quickly bring the topic back as soon as we step into the cold winter air, given the new jumbled thoughts that just those few seconds brought.
"Just. Maybe she did just use this as an excuse to finally ditch me. I got too annoying or-"
"Stop. You're not annoying," Margot interrupts me in a firm tone as she grabs my shoulders and turns me around to face her.
"I just. Sometimes I know I get on peoples' nerves and I don't mean to, but it happens. And I wouldn't blame her if that's what she decided but...."
"Aspen. The people who care about you, who genuinely want to be in your life, who know you, don't think that. Ivy is one of those people. I'm one of those people. People you don't have to worry about leaving,"
"What? Do you have a club that meets every other Wednesday?" I ask with a snort.
"Shit. Who snitched?" Margot jokes back. I shake my head at her before I look back up at her with a smile.
"Seriously. Don't worry so much. Ok?" she asks as she cups my cheek with the palm of her hand and wipes away a tear with her thumb that I didn't even realize was there. I nod, not breaking eye contact with her and not wanting to say anything in the chance that I ruin the moment. With that, she leans down to connect her lips with mine, something I've quite honestly been waiting for all day. My hands eventually find their way in her hair as I deepen the kiss.
However, we're quickly interrupted as the sound of footsteps crunching in the snow causes me to quickly pull away from her. I hate that I don't miss the disappointed look on her face before I begin to frantically look around us.
"I'm sorry," I say quietly to her as I turn my attention back to her after finding no one in sight.
"Kind of ruined the moment," Margot teases me as I rest my head forward on her shoulder. She wraps her arms around me as we begin to sway back and forth, from one foot to the other.
"I would've had my first kiss years ago if it wasn't for interruptions," I tell her, still wrapped in her arms.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. I went on a movie date with a boy in my grade and he was leaning in to kiss me but some old lady behind me apparently thought that was indecent because she fucking threw popcorn at us!"
"Seriously?" Margot asks with a chuckle.
"No," I say with a scoff, "You just wouldn't believe I was a good liar."
I smirk into her shoulder before she promptly pushes me away from her as she rolls her eyes, despite a smile clearly trying to emerge onto her face.
"Whatever. You ready to go?" she asks me. I just smile and nod before following her out into the falling snow.
End of Only Fools Chapter 40. Continue reading Chapter 41 or return to Only Fools book page.