Peraya Delight - Chapter 75: Chapter 75
You are reading Peraya Delight, Chapter 75: Chapter 75. Read more chapters of Peraya Delight.
Kongpob stared at the white wall. Dazed and in thoughts. His left hand on top of the elder male's, who laid on the bed. Unconscious. The younger's thumb caressed softly over the pale palm of the other.
His thoughts were in turmoil. All the information he had got the previous night kept playing inside his head. He couldn't sleep last night, he just thought and thought to the point that it started to make him feel sick.
But staring at Arthit, throughout the night gave him a sense of assurance. That the latter hadn't left him this time. And that he'll be able to gain what they had lost. The fact that even after three years Arthit still thinks about him - the photo he saw in the elder's room had definitely given the other away- even though the latter denies it, created a flicker of hope in him.
He had brought the latter to the hospital, immediately getting him admitted. All that the doctor told him made him feel helpless, knowing Arthit had gone through it all alone. The elder hadn't opened his eyes since then.
The conversation he had with Bold was still very much fresh in his mind. The whole situation was messed up and he misunderstood Arthit. His actions towards the elder weren't pleasing and he knew it, after knowing most of it, about Arthit, he feels even guiltier.
"When did you first meet him?" Kongpob immediately started his questions as soon as they were settled in the cafe.
"Ah well," Bold thought for a second, still confused why a man like Kongpob would ask about Arthit to him. Nevertheless, it benefited him so he was ready at any moment to have this conversation.
"We first met at the grocery shop Arthit worked at. He was new there and seeing a new employee at the place I regularly go to shop, I asked if he was new and all. We would share pleasantries. I later found out that he was in the same neighbourhood as mine since I used to see him walking home, alone, at night. He kind of looked lonely so I tried to talk to him and all, we became pretty close. He told me about his brother's condition and family a little bit. I felt pity, he is like a brother to me since then."
Kongpob wanted to scoff, brother? He could see that. But as he registered what the other had said his eyes widened.
"His brother? What happened to Rome?" Panic seized in him. As far as he got to know only his senior's parents were gone.
"Huh? How do you know about Rom-"
"Just answer me!"
Bold stared at the male weirdly, not understanding what was going on. It just confused him further when Kongpob asked about Arthit's brother as if he knows him.
"Arthit told that there was an accident. His father and mother died. His brother was luckily saved but he fell into a coma. That boy had been working day and night to fill in for the expenses of his brother."
Kongpob's jaw clenched, palms turned into a fist on the table. His gaze fell on his hands. Gulping down the lump that formed in his throat. Rome was in a coma, and his P'Arthit was working soo hard to make the expenses meet. If only the elder had taken a different path he wouldn't have to suffer alone. Kongpob felt as if a huge weight was placed on his chest, suffocating him, imagining how broken Arthit might have felt when everything was going around him.
"What about this w-work?" Kongpob looked up after mustering his courage. "Arthit working under your club. Did he-he come up to you for it?"
"Nah," Bold shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly, taking a sip of the coffee in front of him.
"It was me who offered him the job. That boy had worked hard for almost 3 years and still couldn't make his expenses meet. Poor boy, he rarely slept and exhausted himself with endless jobs. I just offered him the easy way. He needs lots of money for his brother's treatment and if he doesn't pay at time the hospital was ready to stop the treatment."
"He doesn't want that to happen of course. So when I offered him to work for me he was hesitant at first, anybody will, but he eventually gave in. This work gave him the money he had to work for at least 3-4 months in just a single day. Besides, he was perfect for it. Men or women, they would crave for him for sure. Even though he starves himself at times he has a very good build and a handsome face. I think I don't have to explain that to you." Bold smirked at the younger male, oblivious of the raging emotions in the other.
"Look how much of a big deal he scored with you just on his first day. Impressive I say."
Kongpob's eyes widened, "First day?"
Bold laughed, nodding his head. "I take that he's extremely good at what he did for you to ask me that question."
Kongpob didn't reply nor did he show any emotions at the implications the other was making.
"It was his first day. And your friend, what was his name? Yeah, Ed, he would have been originally Arthit's first client. You kinda made that man disappointed that night after you offered a better deal than him to me. Anyway, money is what makes the difference."
Kongpob closed his eyes. He remembered the night very well. When he had finally found his P'Arthit, he was soo happy, ecstatic but when he realised that Arthit was the hooker his so-called colleague was planning to spend the night with it devasted him. Too many questions, too many emotions.
"And I used the cash to pay off Rome's expenses. Now that's solved Arthit can rest assured." Bold crossed his arms on the table, a satisfied smile on his face.
Kongpob stood up absurdly, he had got the answers he needed. The rest he will find it out from Arthit. The elder has to give him answers.
"Oh, we're done?" Bold stared up confused at the latter as he saw him pay for their drinks.
Bold immediately drank his coffee and followed Kongpob out of the cafe.
"Really, this doesn't make sense at all. Why did you ask me about Arthit?" Bold was still curious.
Kongpob stopped in his tracks. "You can say that I know Arthit way before you did."
"What?" Bold gasped.
The younger turned around, signalled with his eyes for the elder male to follow him. And Bold did. Once Kongpob made sure they were away from public eyes, he focused on Bold. Looking at him bleakly.
"There's one more thing I wanted to ask."
Bold absent-mindedly nodded, his eyes trailing on the younger. The adamant and determination in those eyes brought an unsettling thought in him.
"What type of cigarettes did you give to Arthit?"
Kongpob doens't know why, buy he wanted to ask it. Seeing Bold hand the packet of cigeratte to Arthit minutes ago raised a suspecion on him. And that packet didn't look like the normal ones available at stores.
Bold gulped. "Y-You spied on us."
"And I don't regret it. Answer me Khun Bold."
Kongpob studied the other's features. The way Bold squirmed in front of him, eyes frantically moving as if he was trying to think something.
"It's just cigarettes. He loves it so I brought one for him."
Kongpob raised his eyebrows, "Tell me K'Bold, before I could harm you."
Bold let out a strained laugh, "It's- It's nothing much, Sir. Just something to make him feel...relaxed. He needs space for himself."
Kongpob's breathing was uneven as he stared at the nonchalant figure of the other.
"Drugs?" Kongpob's voice almost seemed like he was implying a statement, not a question.
"Something like that. It helps Arthit so it's better that way. I'm just helping, he needs to relax." Bold smiled brightly at the younger.
And before Bold could realise what had happened, he was on the ground, holding his cheek which he was sure was going to get bruised. The cold stare of Kongpob met his terrified ones.
Kongpob sighed, massaging his head with his other hand. Tears whelming up in his eyes and this time he let them fall. He felt terrible, remembering the night he first saw Arthit at the club.
In anger and disappointment, he felt he destroyed everything. When he saw the elder with Ed, on the bed, all his restraints were broken. After kicking his colleague out of the place the way Arthit reacted to him made the rage that was already burning in him take over all his senses.
Arthit didn't want him. He didn't want to explain anything to him even if he asked the latter to. He wanted him to go because Ed seemed to be the one who 'booked' him. It hurt Kongpob, pained him, all the anger and disappointment he had buried inside surfaced and he did the only thing that made Arthit stay.
Had sex with him. Handled him like a hooker he thought he was. He didn't even know that it was Arthit's first time. As long as he knew the elder was always the one who took the lead when they were together, those were blissful moments that Kongpob never forgot. Those were the memories he cherished. But in the fire of anger, he ruined everything. And he still felt guilty, for choosing such a way for making Arthit stay.
"Oh."
Kongpob was startled, hearing a groan beside him. Waking out of his stupor the younger snapped his gaze towards the elder. Witnessing the other shake his head softly and try to sit up. Standing up Kongpob pressed the button beside the elder's bed immediately. Alerting the doctor. He next poured a glass of water and took it to Arthit.
"Hey, relax. Drink some water."
Kongpob calmly helped the still dazed Arthit to sit up, assisting him as he drank the glass of water even in his slightly unconscious state. The way Arthit is trying to blink and focus showed that the elder is still processing what he had gone through and where he was.
Placing the empty glass back on the table beside the bed, Kongpob helped Arthit to lean on the headrest after placing the pillow behind him. As Kongpob's raised his gaze to meet the hazel ones, after helping him, the elder was completely stunned and gasping at how the younger was behaving.
"What-"
"You fainted," Kongpob answered, not meeting the other's gaze and that caught Arthit's attention.
"I came to your... apartment. Saw you unconscious on the floor. You hit your forehead when you fell."
Arthit's hand immediately reached out to touch his forehead, he felt the bandage on the side. He gulped, clearing his throat as he looked up at the younger. The way the younger wasn't looking at him and how he fidgeted somehow made him feel conflicted. He wanted to ask what was wrong but at the same time, he didn't want to. Even though he yearned to do so.
"How-How did you find my apartment?"
"K'Bold."
Arthit's eyes widened, "Wh-"
The two males turned their attention towards the door, watching as a doctor and a nurse walk through it. Arthit immediately recognised the doctor and later realised that he was at the same hospital as the ones his brother was in treatment for.
"K'Arthit, nice to see you again. But I didn't hope to see you like this though." The doctor smiled as he stood beside the latter, taking his hand in his. Checking the pale man's pulse.
"This is the second time this month you're fainting. I don't know how you would have survived if not for any of your friends bringing you here." The doctor eyed Kongpob who gave a tight smile.
Arthit sighed, he didn't have anything to say. It was hard to take care of himself when he was running around for multiple jobs, juggling everything and losing his sleep. He was just glad that at least he could sleep 3 hours a day.
"You exhausted yourself again, resulting your body to shut down. Please have three meals a day, even though it isn't much just a small snack is enough, eat something. Drink plenty of water. Your blood level is low. Close to anaemia but you're fine. I can clearly say that you didn't get enough sleep for who knows how many months."
Arthit bit his lower lip. Staring down at his hand which had an IV injected into it. He sighed, he just want everything to stop, just so he could feel free in himself.
"I request you to get admitted for the next three-four days. I don't want you to leave unless I can see that you're getting better."
Arthit immediately looked up, shaking his head at the doctor. "Dr Drake, I can't-"
"He will stay."
The elder snapped his gaze towards the younger male, finding him staring at the doctor.
"Kongpob, no. You don't kno-"
"I said you'll be staying here." Kongpob turned to face Arthit. Throwing an almost glare at him. "I want you to get better. Do you know how scared I was when I saw you unconscious? You aren't leaving till Dr Drake say that you are well."
"Listen to your friend, K'Arthit." Dr Drake placed a hand on the latter's shoulder, assuring him.
Arthit didn't like the idea at all, he can't afford it. "But-"
"P'Arthit."
The elder male froze, his lips parted in surprise. Slowly turning his gaze to meet the younger's charcoal eyes, it surprised him, seeing how concerned and worried the latter looked. The familiar call of the younger brought butterflies in him.
"Please, P'Arthit Kharp." Kongpob tilted his head unknowingly, feeling himself being that freshman who fell in love with the head hazer.
Arthit gulped. Those puppy eyes of the younger stirring his insides. Shit, Arthit!
"Ok."
The smile that bloomed on Kongpob's face made Arthit's heartbeat race. He turned away, feeling as if all his senses are hurting him. The change was hurting painfully but at the same time soo relaxing, feeling at home, at once.
"Great. I'll check up on you in the evening. Have a good rest, K'Arthit." Dr Drake knowingly glanced at Kongpob who nodded his head. The exchange missed out on Arthit's attention as he waied at the doctor.
Once the two staffs were out of the room Arthit slumped against the bed. His eyes roamed around the room, it was a private one, cosy. He was sure it was expensive. The last time he was admitted here for a day he was at the casualty.
"Why did you bring me here? This is gonna cost soo much." Arthit massaged his temples. He can't even buy himself a meal for a day, how was he gonna pay for this.
Kongpob's lips trembled. He reached out to hold the elder's hand, startling the other. "P'Arthit. Please."
Arthit's eyes fixed on their hands. Trembling as he felt the coldness of the other's hand but why did it feel soo warm?
"Leave my hand, Kongpob."
"No." Kongpob shook his head, eyes pleading and helpless.
"I-I'm sorry. But can you just let me take care of you, P'Arthit? Please? Like-Like I used to, back in those days." The small painful smile that pressed on the younger's lips ached Arthit's heart.
Flashes of the days they spend together at University, taking care of eachother. Being each other's comfort. Everything came crashing down. He turned his head to the side, choosing to not answer the other's plea.
"You haven't eaten. I'll ask them to bring something." Kongpob smiled softly at the elder, turning around he made his way outside the room. Even though he could just press the switch in the room to get the nurse in and ask for food, he knows that Arthit needs time. He'll let the elder think through it.
He himself was tired of faking all of it. Keeping it hard in front of Arthit. The elder knows him better than anyone, at least back then, and he knows how hurt the latter might be with his cold behaviour. It was a way he used to keep his emotions in check, to not break down and beg Arthit to just come back and to not do what he was doing.
But now, knowing most of what Arthit had gone through he can't do that anymore. Just staring into that face, into those hazel eyes, it reminds him of that tempered head hazer, at the same time the man who laid on the floor of a tiny room. He wants Arthit back in his life, assure the man of everything. Give Arthit what he had lost.
"K-Kong," a trembling whisper left Arthit's lips after the younger left the room. He broke down, letting his tears down and small sobs escape his lips.
He was thankful that he was left alone for the moment. He needed it, to gather all his emotions that seems soo confusing at the point. Kongpob's change in behaviour, the concern and care. Everything reminded him of his old self. Memories of how the younger would constantly call on his phone or remind him with puppy eyes to take care of himself during exams and to not get exhausted. Arthit never thought he would miss those moments but now, he did.
It seemed as if Kongpob had put his guard down. And he didn't know what to make out of it. The feelings were confusing. He wanted to lash out, break anything and everything that his hand reaches to. He wanted to scream and scream until his voice sounded hoarse and his throat hurts. He wanted to just end it.
But somewhere now, he didn't want to. Was it a tiny bit of hope that was in him? Hope for the better? But he never trusted it. There wasn't any hope for him. But with Kongpob back in his life why does it seem soo easy to hope? Why does it seem soo damn easy and hard at the same time? It was confusing. He didn't know what to trust, in fear of being crushed if his expectations were not met.
When Kongpob walks out of the bathroom, he finds Arthit searching for something. Desperately looking through his clothes that were placed on the table beside the bed. The latter was wearing the hospital gown ever since he got admitted.
"What are you looking for?" Kongpob asked, curious. His eyes fixed on Arthit's IV cannula, fearing if it'll rip off with the way the elder was moving it.
"My-My-Fuck!" Arthit tried to speak but his mind was in no sense to make out proper words. His brain was just screaming one thing and he has to get it.
"P'Arthit!" Kongpob rushed to the elder. Taking the other's hand in his. His other hand stopped the IV pole from falling.
"Leave me! Did you take anything out of my pockets? I can't find it!" Arthit glared at the younger male. Trying to rummage through his jeans pocket for the hundredth time.
"P'Arthit, stop." Kongpob tried to calm the other. He had predicted for this to happen, he's just surprised that it took Arthit this long to react.
And that calmed him a little, knowing he can help Arthit out of it. He hadn't fallen in the trench yet.
"Leave me alone, Kongpob! Fuck off!" The elder's eyes were paler than it was before, face morphed in anger and desperation. Dry lips trembling. And the sight feared the younger but he had to stay strong.
"Arthit!"
Kongpob shook the other. Standing right in front of him, pushing the other, making him sit on the bed. He cupped the other's cheek, letting his own trembling lips press tightly on the other's firm, dry ones. Kongpob sucked softly on to Arthit's lips, moistening them with his wet ones. Thankful that the other didn't pull away.
Arthit was too stunned to do anything. He didn't respond to the kiss, instead, he closed his eyes. Only focusing on the tender touches of the younger male, feeling as if he was back. The familiar taste of those pair of lips slowly seeps into his system.
The gentle strokes of Kongpob's tongue, soft sucking and tilting of his head. Fingers dabbing his cold cheeks, warming his body with his close presence. Arthit was too afraid to move. Afraid if it would end, he would be back to reality where Kongpob wasn't there.
And when Kongpob pulled away after what seemed like hours but ended too soon, Arthit unconsciously moved forward, not wanting to part away. But they did.
"P'Arthit, listen to me." Kongpob's whisper brought Arthit out of the daze. Reality crashing on him that Kongpob was still there, every much real. That what just happened was absolutely true.
"I know I shouldn't have invaded your privacy but I took your cigarettes away."
Just as those words sunk in, Arthit's eyes widened. He pushed Kongpob away.
"What the hell!? Why did you do that!?"
Kongpob reached out again, pain written over his face. Holding Arthit's shaking hands in his he whispered to the elder to calm down.
"Why are you doing this? You scolded me for smoking back then, made me quit it and now, what happened? Why are you doing this? Stop it please, P'Arthit."
Arthit's hands clenched into a tight fist, "That's my only escapade. A way I could escape everything. It was my only companion. People change, Kongpob."
"No," Kongpob shook his head, desperate to walk the elder out of it."Do you know you could have died with all the smoking you did with those trashes that your so-called friend gave?!"
"What?"
"Those were fucking drugs, P'Arthit!"
A gasp left Arthit's lips. He hadn't seen the younger soo troubled, shaking and cursing ever. And as much as Arthit wanted to defend himself, thinking Bold would never do that, the tears in Kongpob's eyes told himself the right opposite. He shook his head.
"Wh-No-No-N-"
"Yes! Didn't you feel anything while you smoke it?! And just now, all that you did was signs of addiction! You were getting addicted to that thing with such a short amount of time!" Kongpob's hands on Arthit's slipped away as he stepped back, keeping a distance between them. Looking straight into those hazel orbs.
The younger's eyes softened the next second, almost begging Arthit through his gaze, "P'Arthit. That guy is not good for you. Y-You shouldn't be with him. He's trying to get you on his tracks."
"No. B-But-," Arthit took sharp breathes."He was the only one who was there when I was alone. He was a brother to me."
"Let me get this inside you, Arthit!" Kongpob bit his lower lip, taking a deep breath. "You are not alone! I am with you! Will be with you until I decide when I have to leave! You will not get rid of me, today, tomorrow or anytime soon. You don't need that idiot to be with you! Do you get me!?"
Arthit stared at Kongpob with jaw clenched and face devoid of any emotions. He felt numb, for a totally different reason. Hearing the other's violent yet assuring words Arthit felt as if cold water was poured over his head.
Kongpob gently took Arthit's fisted palms in his."That man is not safe, P'Arthit. He first started giving you drugs, and then convinced you to work for him. That-That is not what a real friend or brother would do."
"And I hope you know that better than anyone else." The familiarity in the younger's charcoal orbs nade Arthit tremble. A series of painful memories flashed through his mind.
When the elder heard a soft, whisper-like sob, he looked up to find Kongpob looking away from him, the hold of their hands tightened. "I'm sorry, P'Arthit. I-I'm scared I would lose you again."
The younger hasn't still looked up at him as he continues to speak, making Arthit kind of panic.
"What Dr Drake told isn't the only reason why you fainted. You almost smoked more than 10 of those cigarettes yesterday. It was an overdose. Your weak body couldn't handle it. You could have fallen extremely ill, P'Arthit. Or worse you-you-"
Kongpob's laboured breathing scared Arthit. It scared him to know that he affected Kongpob in such a way even after all these years. As if he was someone much more in the younger's life than he thought he was. To see Kongpob almost breaking apart for him, Arthit couldn't take it in.
The room turned silent. None of the speaking or wanting to initiate any more talks. Both looked exhausted, as if they had run a hundred miles.
Arthit felt the younger's hold on his loosen up. His senses completely blank.
He never thought that Bold would do something like that. He thought he was just soo accustomed to taking cigarettes almost three times a day, even before the other male had given him those, that he couldn't survive without one for a day. Yes, that was another side of addiction but knowing that there were drugs in the ones he was using raised an unknown fear inside him. He didn't want to do that.
Arthit could feel that he was breaking inside, the tears that he tried to hold in for long finally falling. He didn't let out any noises, no sounds of cries or sobbing. Just tears running down his cheeks. Letting out the frustration inside him.
He was startled when a pair of arms wrapped around his shoulders. Pulling him close. He found himself resting his face on the warm chest, listening to the fastening heartbeat of the younger male.
"I met Rome."
Arthit closed his eyes. He didn't even want to ask how Kongpob got to know. Most probably from the hospital staff.
"I'm sorry you had to go through this P. We'll give Rome the best treatment and one day he'll open his eyes. And will be there for you as the little brother he is. Trust me."
He had come across a nurse in the morning who was concerned why Arthit was admitted there. When Kongpob asked how she knew about Arthit she told him everything. About Rome being in treatment there and she used to see Arthit almost every day, late at night, visiting his brother looking worn out, straight out of work.
A small smile spread across Kongpob's lips when Arthit's hands slipped around his waist, the elder's body shaking as sobs escaped those tender lips.
"Y-You don't have to do this, Kongpob."
Kongpob rolled his eyes as he took the luggage trolley from Arthit's hand and started to walk towards the building in front of them.
Arthit pursed his lips, "I don't need your pity."
The younger's steps halted. Shoulder's stiffened. And Arthit regretted saying that.
"You thought of me this way, P'Arthit?" Kongpob turned around, sighing as his eyes fell on the elder's unsure form.
"I'm not doing this out of pity. I want you back, I want the P'Arthit back who I lost. And for me, you were someone who gave me immense happiness, the best time of my life, before everything happened. I don't blame you, but now let me help you out. You deserve this, P'Arthit Kharp."
Kongpob tilted his head as if assuring the other as he smiled softly.
"Now come."
Arthit let out a breath that he didn't know he was holding after Kongpob resumed walking. Gathering up all the courage he followed Kongpob. Soon getting into an elevator, taking them to the younger male's condo.
He was surprised when Kongpob asked him to pack his belongings after he got discharged from the hospital. Dropping him off at the apartment he stayed at, to get his things. Arthit refused at first, of course, not knowing what was in the younger's head.
When Kongpob told that he don't want Arthit to stay there and instead move in with him to his condo, Arthit strongly opposed. Claiming Kongpob was acting upon pity and all the other things Arthit could think of. He doesn't want Kongpob to carry his pathetic self with him.
Kongpob was adamant. He was stubborn over this. It took two days to convince Arthit. And the elder could never not give in to the latter in the end. He had never been able to refuse him down right even if it was during the time they dated or now after all that has happened.
Arthit couldn't still understand why Kongpob sticks with him. He hurt the younger, too much. Left him alone, without any explanation. Kongpob deserved an explanation at least but Arthit wasn't brave enough to give that back then. And now, at first, even though he thought it was irrelevant, after all these days he thinks it's needed.
All the questions Kongpob asked, on why he had to do this from the day they met, Arthit stayed silent. He kept mum about it. Not wanting to give it in, trying to push Kongpob away as far as possible. Hate him and leave him alone after realising he was just a piece of trash. But that didn't happen.
"Welcome to my humble home."
Arthit's eyes wandered around the spacious condo while Kongpob walked inside, smiling softly watching Arthit look around.
The place wasn't too large nor too small. It had a spacious living room though, with a huge wall of glass, giving a perfect view of the big city. Comparatively smaller kitchen attached to it. The house felt cosy, at home,a perfect demonstration of Kongpob himself. Neat and tidy, not even a single thing out of its place. It definitely looked like a place Kongpob would have.
"I'll show your room," Kongpob called out, signalling the other to follow him. And Arthit did.
Arthit watched how casually Kongpob was guiding him, humming onto some tune as he stepped into a bedroom, turning its lights on.
"You can stay here. It's a guest room. If you need anything my room is just opposite. Ok?"
Arthit nodded absent-mindedly, taking his suitcase from Kongpob. Giving the younger male a tight smile.
"Freshen up, we can have lunch."
"You cook?" The surprise in Arthit's voice made Kongpob giggle.
"Well, kind of? I know basic things now but I'm not going to feed you with my boring cooking skills. I'll order something."
The elder nodded. "Oh, ok."
The two males stood there in awkward silence. Trying to understand what the other might be thinking. But when their eyes met eachother they immediately looked away. Awkward clearing of throats heard through the silence.
"I-I'll go freshen up." Kongpob awkwardly smiled, turning around and leaving the room. Closing the door behind. And the elder male slumped onto the bed, releasing a huge sigh.
Being in the younger's place Arthit felt soo proud of the man the latter had become. He had always wished for the best for Kongpob, a bright future and career. The younger is the acting CEO at his family's company now, respected by many.
Arthit had asked about the younger to Bold the day they met outside the restaurant before he was hospitalized. He didn't know much about Kongpob since he never made the effort to know how the latter might be doing since it only brought pain in him. But since the younger was with him for the past couple of days he wanted to know about him. And he was soo proud to hear the success stories of the younger. At the same time scared and insecure, doubtful as to why a man like him is sticking around with him.
In the end, Kongpob's presence was needed for him to find out the dark in his present life. If not for the younger male he doesn't know in what situation he would end up in. Bold would have used him to the brink that he would have lost everything.
Days passed as they stayed together in the condo. Kind of falling into a routine soon. Arthit wouldn't be awake by the time Kongpob was out of his room, fresh to go to work. He knows that Arthit had been purposefully staying in his room in the morning so as to not see him and Kongpob let it slip. He gave time for the latter to adjust.
Days were hard with Arthit fighting off the urge to go buy packets of cigarettes and smoke them. Back then it was his only solace. It was a routine for him. Something he done for himself. Smoking made him feel relaxed, for a moment forgetting his worries. But ever since being hospitalised, he wasn't able to smoke, the doctor and Kongpob were adamant on that fact. Asking him to stop it now or he would never be able to come out of the trap.
But as always, Kongpob understood him even before he could voice it out. Not that he would speak out to the younger in the first place. Three days into their stay together when Arthit came out of his room after Kongpob left for work he found a single cigarette stick and lighter. With a note beside it.
I know that you're trying hard P'Arthit. And you're doing soo great, I'm proud of you. Thank you for taking the initiative. I know it's ironic coming out of me, who used to smoke back in those days but ever since you confronted me I haven't touched a single one of those all these years. I promise.
But seeing you losing yourself at times, fighting off the urge to buy one I think we can take it slow. I will leave one of these each day, if it gets too much to bear you can take it. But try to fight it off.
One cigarette a day won't be too much of a harm. And we are slowly trying to tone it down too. Stopping something you have been doing for three years suddenly one day might cause more harm. So use it carefully.
-Kongpob
The first day Arthit had immediately taken a puff of it. Finishing the whole stick. He felt soo much better that day as if a void inside him was filled.
But he kept reading Kongpob's words again and again. It played in his head like a mantra. Reminding him of his fight.
There are days where Arthit wouldn't touch the cigarette left by Kongpob and he would catch the small smile of the younger when he finds it on the place he had left it when he returns.
And that sight was worth the struggle Arthit was going through. He didn't know he could love the other male whole over again. He knows it's wrong, Kongpob doesn't deserve him but he had the right to feel that way. He will keep it inside him.
Almost three weeks into them staying together, Kongpob watched as Arthit's hands tremble, looking as if he was on the verge of going hysterical. The older male was out on the balcony, he could see the other from where he stood, the glass door giving perfect view. It broke him to see the elder like this but he want the old Arthit back. And the elder needs his support, even though the other doesn't voice it out. From the time he had arrived home from the office Arthit hadn't talked to him or made any eye contact. Arthit looked as if he was holding something soo strong inside him.
Taking a deep breath the younger walked over to his bedroom. Taking out the cigarette packet he had kept in the drawer. Taking one stick out of it he walked out, he made his way towards the balcony after he took the lighter from the kitchen on his way. Arthit hadn't touched one for almost a week and he knew the other was fighting the urge off and he was proud of it. But he knew Arthit needed this now, they were taking small steps at a time.
He noticed that Arthit was startled at the sound of the glass door sliding. But the latter didn't turn to face him.
Stepping towards the elder, he stood beside him. A safe distance between them. Kongpob stretched his hand out in front of Arthit, the cigarette stick and lighter in view of the elder.
Arthit gasped, his lips trembled as he raised his gaze at Kongpob who had a small smile playing on his lips.
The elder's hands automatically took the two objects in his. Fingers trembling and fumbling over it. Arthit managed to light the cigarette and took a huge puff out of it.
Kongpob watched the way the elder's body language changed with it. Feeling a tight knot form in the pit of his stomach.
Arthit let out heavy breaths as he took in the smoke, feeling the familiar calmness wash over him. Even though the one in his hand didn't give him the same amount of placidity as the ones Bold used to give him- even though he knows that contained drugs, he wanted to feel the essence of serenity it gives- the feeling was familiar and he was content with it. But something was wrong, he felt guilty for doing it.
Three puffs in Arthit didn't know what got into him but he found himself aggressively throwing the lit cigarette on the floor, angrily stomping on it, with his barefoot.
"P'Arthit!" Kongpob's eyes widened as he held Arthit's shoulder, pushing him away from stomping on the thing. He panicked, immediately kneeling and trying to check Arthit's feet, to see if he had burned his skin.
"Move away!" Arthit almost kicked the younger in the face as he tried to walk away, shaking Kongpob's hold on his leg.
Kongpob stood up, stopping Arthit from walking away. "P'Arthit! You can't keep walking away like this! You have to tell me what's going on!"
Arthit's bloodshot eyes met Kongpob's charcoal ones, staring at the teary eyes the younger was surprised.
"What is there to talk, Kongpob?! I ruined everything! Every single thing! I-I almost ruined myself in every single way possible! Each day for the past three years I see the people who I trusted turn their back on me!"
Kongpob let the elder vent out, he could see Arthit was letting things out off his chest even without his own knowledge and the younger let the other be.
"It wasn't your fault P'Art-"
"It is easy to say so!" Arthit's turned his back on the younger, gripping on the railing. Knuckles almost turning white.
"It is my fault! It is my fault I didn't have enough control over my life! It is my fault that now all these are happening! It is my fault that I can't push you away Kongpob!"
The younger gasped. Not expecting to hear those words.
"E-Even our parents don't want us! They chose to leave us alone than solve everything! The company got bankrupt and they didn't even want to talk to us! They left us, left me! Almost taking my brother away from me in that accident too!" Arthit's shoulders shook violently.
"You know what!? All of my family, cousins, uncles and aunts! Everyone left us when we needed them the most! Kicked us out of the family because we were useless now! Useless because we were bankrupt! Beggers! I had no other way than run away and protect the only person who was left behind for me. I had no choice!"
Kongpob's heartbeat raised, each word stabbing right through him. Wasn't he a part of Arthit's family too? Didn't he think about talking to him for once with all those happening?
Kongpob wanted to ask but he chose to stay quiet. He could understand it as he looks from Arthit's perspective. The shame and feeling of betrayal were too much for the elder male.
"Why am I even here?! For what? For what reason?!" Arthit gripped his hair, letting out an angry growl. He snapped his gaze to the younger, his whole form shaking and trembling that it scared Kongpob.
"Why are you here!? Why are you here with a man who hurt you!? Can't you see Kong?! I'm nothing! Nothing at all! I'm just a man who begs every day for work! Trying to make ends meet! Pathetic and useless! Why are you here making all efforts to bring me back, Kong!? I don't deserve anything! Not even your kindness!"
The younger's jaw clenched, his fingers clawing into his own palm as his hands fisted on either side.
"If it wasn't for Rome I would have ended all of this way back! I should have done that! I am a worthless brother too anyway! Being helpless while he is on that hospital bed! With no signs of improvement!"
"It's better to stop all of these. End it." The words were like a whisper, even afraid of voicing it out loud but Kongpob heard them crisp and clear. He could read in between the lines and that broke the string of patience in him.
"Can I ask you something?" Kongpob's plain, cold voice broke the elder's trace.
"You blame your parents for not talking. For ending it without any communication. Not daring to face everything and leaving you and Rome behind. Then what are you doing now, P'Arthit?"
Arthit blinked. His breathing heavy, face flushed red with all the outbursts.
"You didn't leave room for communication between us or between your friends! You left! Left without giving us a clue about what happened! Didn't you do the same mistake as your parents?"
"I-It's different," the elder gritted his teeth.
Kongpob nodded his head, understanding the other. "Of course, yes. All that you went through in that short time made you lose your confidence in us. Confidence and trust in your boyfriend, in your friends. You chose to stay away from us thinking we all would look at you as the son from a bankrupt family!"
The younger took a deep breath, feeling light-headed with the way he was letting out his feelings too. Feelings that were buried in him.
"I can't blame you for your insecurities, P'Arthit. But you-you could have talked to me. We promised to be there for eachother, understand eachother. D-Did you think of me as someone who would leave you just because of the value of digits your family made?" The tears fell just like how his feelings were given the freedom to flow out of him.
"You know what? After your disappearance, we went to your house. We searched for you. We got to know from others what happened to you. They told they didn't know where you were or what happened to you. We kept searching for you that it drained a part of us too. They just wanted their friend back, be there for you. I-I needed my lover back, so I could stand beside you and face everything that is on your way, our way."
Arthit doesn't know how to react. He felt a part of him had eased after he had vent it all out but hearing Kongpob right now, the truth was crashing down on him.
"I'm not here to plot revenge or out of pity. The first time I saw you in that club, almost going to spend the night with Ed I felt jealous! If you didn't mean anytime to me why would I feel jealous?! Feel hurt and the need to get you out of that dangerous life!?"
"I know I behaved like a jerk on the first three days. Hurting you soo much. And I'm soo sorry, P'Arthit! The only thought I had was to have you back, to not let you go so we could talk. Maybe-maybe sort things out and start new. And I thought the only way to make you stay was to do what I did. And I'm sorry for that." Kongpob heard Arthit gasp. But he didn't dare to make eye contact with him, if he did he would lose it all. Lose the courage that has come at him.
"I want you back, P'Arthit. You deserve better. You need to come out of it, look at the better side now. I'm here for you. Please-please for once lean on me. Let me be there to hold you while you try to gather yourself."
Looking up Kongpob still found uncertainties in those hazel eyes. He could practically see the gears inside Arthit's head turning in all ways possible. The silence made Kongpob restless.
"Think about it P'Arthit! What if I was thrown to the streets. If it was me in your place. I'll end my life the very next moment!" Kongpob watched Arthit's eyes widening, the way pain etched in his face. He knew this would work.
"I'm useless! It's better if I end my life! There is nothing more for me to do here! No one loves me! I'm all alon-" '
"Stop it!" Arthit reached out to hold the younger's hands. An unknown fire in his eyes as he breathed heavily.
"Are you nuts?! What are you saying!? You're out of your mind! You can't do that, Kong! You can't leave everyone like that! I'm here for yo-" Arthit absurdly stops. Gasping for air. Realising what he had said.
He was too into it that he didn't realise Kongpob was trying to get those words out of him. He was too invested, hearing how Kongpob was picturing such a scenario, his brain made it seem as if it was really happening.
If anything of that sort really happened Arthit wouldn't be able to handle it. Seeing the person you love walk away to the inevitable death, no he can't do that. And he realised now how Kongpob must have felt all the while he was accusing himself and talking about ending everything.
Kongpob stepped forward, tightening his hold on Arthit's hands that were slipping away. "See? You understand how I feel now? Hearing you talk about ending things is breaking me. We can walk through this together P'Arthit. And I promise you that, I'm never going to leave your hand."
Arthit stayed silent, flinching when Kongpob's fingers dabbed on his cheeks, wiping the tears that fell which he was unaware of.
He let Kongpob drag him to the patio at the balcony. Made him sit on one of the chairs. Asking him to wait for a minute. Arthit's brain was too much occupied with thoughts that he failed to hear the younger male, he just stared into the evening sky, watching the orange hues blend in with the blue.
All these years he didn't think of himself, the only aim that he had was the recovery of his brother. Finding all the ways to get money, worked day and night, exhausting himself but he never complained. It was just the pressure that he held with all the events that broke him. He didn't want to realise his worth, seeing himself as someone dirty and useless was easier than teaching his mind that he was worthy of love and life.
But once again Kongpob swept him off his feet. Just like the way the younger had made him fall head over heels for him back in the old days, giving him soo much love. This time too, the latter was here for him. Once again walking into his life, making him realise his mistakes and giving him a helping hand to correct all of them.
Now, at that very moment, Arthit couldn't help but think that he was indeed very lucky.
"Oh," Arthit flinched, hissing as he felt a burning sensation in his feet. His lips parted in surprise when he found Kongpob on the floor, sitting cross-legged, with his feet in his hands. Slowly applying an ointment to the burn under his feet.
Arthit sighed, his lips trembling, realising how much Kongpob still cared for him. The younger always looked out for him back then and now too, even after three years of hurting.
"You keep overthinking a lot. I guess it's because you are alone all day in this place, soo much room for overthinking." Kongpob shrugged his shoulders, still focused on analysing the burn.
"So I will find a job for you nearby. It will help you keep distracted, I will let you know about it. And maybe-" the younger looked up, uncertain as to what he was about to say but he voiced it out nevertheless.
"Maybe you can continue your studies? There are online programmes for it now, you can choose to take them if you don't want to attend classes offline. And before you reject it, you can apply for a scholarship if you want to, so don't worry about the expenses."
Arthit gasped, staring surprised at the younger.
Kongpob thought for a second, placing Arthit's feet ever soo gently on the floor. "As far as I remember, you only had to clear exams for the last semester in the third year. You can study for that and then finish the final year. It's a good way of distracting yourself from all these mundane thoughts too."
Arthit was surprised knowing Kongpob still remembered all those little details. He never thought about studying further, his dreams were crushed and he never put a step forward to achieve it in the run for making expenses meet. When he decided to drop out of college during the last semester in his third year he didn't think about it further. With his parents' death and everything going on at that time, he didn't think beyond it. The only objective that he had then was to move away from people's judging eyes and take care of his brother.
"Kong, but-"
"Nope!" Kongpob shook his head. "Don't think about Rome now. I'll take care of it. Focus on your journey, you left your dreams behind and now it's time to pick it up."
It astounded the elder, realising how well Kongpob knew what was inside his head.
"And please! Don't say no, you have to move forward. This was your ambition. And I want you to achieve it. And dare you to talk about expenses and all those shit once again-" Kongpob playfully pointed at the elder, his eyebrows furrowed and a pout on his lips.
"I will plaster your mouth and tie your hands, put you in a room and lock it! I will not let you out until I'm sure that you will not be talking about it anymore! Am I clear?"
Even though Arthit knows that the younger wouldn't do that, the way Kongpob said it soo childishly made him chuckle. A smile formed on his lips as he nodded.
"That was a silly way of threatening though," Kongpob chuckled at his own remark. Scratching the back of his neck.
Seeing how Kongpob's lips stretched up into a wide smile Arthit felt as if a gush of warmth ran through him.
He will give life a second try. A different start.
His thoughts were in turmoil. All the information he had got the previous night kept playing inside his head. He couldn't sleep last night, he just thought and thought to the point that it started to make him feel sick.
But staring at Arthit, throughout the night gave him a sense of assurance. That the latter hadn't left him this time. And that he'll be able to gain what they had lost. The fact that even after three years Arthit still thinks about him - the photo he saw in the elder's room had definitely given the other away- even though the latter denies it, created a flicker of hope in him.
He had brought the latter to the hospital, immediately getting him admitted. All that the doctor told him made him feel helpless, knowing Arthit had gone through it all alone. The elder hadn't opened his eyes since then.
The conversation he had with Bold was still very much fresh in his mind. The whole situation was messed up and he misunderstood Arthit. His actions towards the elder weren't pleasing and he knew it, after knowing most of it, about Arthit, he feels even guiltier.
"When did you first meet him?" Kongpob immediately started his questions as soon as they were settled in the cafe.
"Ah well," Bold thought for a second, still confused why a man like Kongpob would ask about Arthit to him. Nevertheless, it benefited him so he was ready at any moment to have this conversation.
"We first met at the grocery shop Arthit worked at. He was new there and seeing a new employee at the place I regularly go to shop, I asked if he was new and all. We would share pleasantries. I later found out that he was in the same neighbourhood as mine since I used to see him walking home, alone, at night. He kind of looked lonely so I tried to talk to him and all, we became pretty close. He told me about his brother's condition and family a little bit. I felt pity, he is like a brother to me since then."
Kongpob wanted to scoff, brother? He could see that. But as he registered what the other had said his eyes widened.
"His brother? What happened to Rome?" Panic seized in him. As far as he got to know only his senior's parents were gone.
"Huh? How do you know about Rom-"
"Just answer me!"
Bold stared at the male weirdly, not understanding what was going on. It just confused him further when Kongpob asked about Arthit's brother as if he knows him.
"Arthit told that there was an accident. His father and mother died. His brother was luckily saved but he fell into a coma. That boy had been working day and night to fill in for the expenses of his brother."
Kongpob's jaw clenched, palms turned into a fist on the table. His gaze fell on his hands. Gulping down the lump that formed in his throat. Rome was in a coma, and his P'Arthit was working soo hard to make the expenses meet. If only the elder had taken a different path he wouldn't have to suffer alone. Kongpob felt as if a huge weight was placed on his chest, suffocating him, imagining how broken Arthit might have felt when everything was going around him.
"What about this w-work?" Kongpob looked up after mustering his courage. "Arthit working under your club. Did he-he come up to you for it?"
"Nah," Bold shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly, taking a sip of the coffee in front of him.
"It was me who offered him the job. That boy had worked hard for almost 3 years and still couldn't make his expenses meet. Poor boy, he rarely slept and exhausted himself with endless jobs. I just offered him the easy way. He needs lots of money for his brother's treatment and if he doesn't pay at time the hospital was ready to stop the treatment."
"He doesn't want that to happen of course. So when I offered him to work for me he was hesitant at first, anybody will, but he eventually gave in. This work gave him the money he had to work for at least 3-4 months in just a single day. Besides, he was perfect for it. Men or women, they would crave for him for sure. Even though he starves himself at times he has a very good build and a handsome face. I think I don't have to explain that to you." Bold smirked at the younger male, oblivious of the raging emotions in the other.
"Look how much of a big deal he scored with you just on his first day. Impressive I say."
Kongpob's eyes widened, "First day?"
Bold laughed, nodding his head. "I take that he's extremely good at what he did for you to ask me that question."
Kongpob didn't reply nor did he show any emotions at the implications the other was making.
"It was his first day. And your friend, what was his name? Yeah, Ed, he would have been originally Arthit's first client. You kinda made that man disappointed that night after you offered a better deal than him to me. Anyway, money is what makes the difference."
Kongpob closed his eyes. He remembered the night very well. When he had finally found his P'Arthit, he was soo happy, ecstatic but when he realised that Arthit was the hooker his so-called colleague was planning to spend the night with it devasted him. Too many questions, too many emotions.
"And I used the cash to pay off Rome's expenses. Now that's solved Arthit can rest assured." Bold crossed his arms on the table, a satisfied smile on his face.
Kongpob stood up absurdly, he had got the answers he needed. The rest he will find it out from Arthit. The elder has to give him answers.
"Oh, we're done?" Bold stared up confused at the latter as he saw him pay for their drinks.
Bold immediately drank his coffee and followed Kongpob out of the cafe.
"Really, this doesn't make sense at all. Why did you ask me about Arthit?" Bold was still curious.
Kongpob stopped in his tracks. "You can say that I know Arthit way before you did."
"What?" Bold gasped.
The younger turned around, signalled with his eyes for the elder male to follow him. And Bold did. Once Kongpob made sure they were away from public eyes, he focused on Bold. Looking at him bleakly.
"There's one more thing I wanted to ask."
Bold absent-mindedly nodded, his eyes trailing on the younger. The adamant and determination in those eyes brought an unsettling thought in him.
"What type of cigarettes did you give to Arthit?"
Kongpob doens't know why, buy he wanted to ask it. Seeing Bold hand the packet of cigeratte to Arthit minutes ago raised a suspecion on him. And that packet didn't look like the normal ones available at stores.
Bold gulped. "Y-You spied on us."
"And I don't regret it. Answer me Khun Bold."
Kongpob studied the other's features. The way Bold squirmed in front of him, eyes frantically moving as if he was trying to think something.
"It's just cigarettes. He loves it so I brought one for him."
Kongpob raised his eyebrows, "Tell me K'Bold, before I could harm you."
Bold let out a strained laugh, "It's- It's nothing much, Sir. Just something to make him feel...relaxed. He needs space for himself."
Kongpob's breathing was uneven as he stared at the nonchalant figure of the other.
"Drugs?" Kongpob's voice almost seemed like he was implying a statement, not a question.
"Something like that. It helps Arthit so it's better that way. I'm just helping, he needs to relax." Bold smiled brightly at the younger.
And before Bold could realise what had happened, he was on the ground, holding his cheek which he was sure was going to get bruised. The cold stare of Kongpob met his terrified ones.
Kongpob sighed, massaging his head with his other hand. Tears whelming up in his eyes and this time he let them fall. He felt terrible, remembering the night he first saw Arthit at the club.
In anger and disappointment, he felt he destroyed everything. When he saw the elder with Ed, on the bed, all his restraints were broken. After kicking his colleague out of the place the way Arthit reacted to him made the rage that was already burning in him take over all his senses.
Arthit didn't want him. He didn't want to explain anything to him even if he asked the latter to. He wanted him to go because Ed seemed to be the one who 'booked' him. It hurt Kongpob, pained him, all the anger and disappointment he had buried inside surfaced and he did the only thing that made Arthit stay.
Had sex with him. Handled him like a hooker he thought he was. He didn't even know that it was Arthit's first time. As long as he knew the elder was always the one who took the lead when they were together, those were blissful moments that Kongpob never forgot. Those were the memories he cherished. But in the fire of anger, he ruined everything. And he still felt guilty, for choosing such a way for making Arthit stay.
"Oh."
Kongpob was startled, hearing a groan beside him. Waking out of his stupor the younger snapped his gaze towards the elder. Witnessing the other shake his head softly and try to sit up. Standing up Kongpob pressed the button beside the elder's bed immediately. Alerting the doctor. He next poured a glass of water and took it to Arthit.
"Hey, relax. Drink some water."
Kongpob calmly helped the still dazed Arthit to sit up, assisting him as he drank the glass of water even in his slightly unconscious state. The way Arthit is trying to blink and focus showed that the elder is still processing what he had gone through and where he was.
Placing the empty glass back on the table beside the bed, Kongpob helped Arthit to lean on the headrest after placing the pillow behind him. As Kongpob's raised his gaze to meet the hazel ones, after helping him, the elder was completely stunned and gasping at how the younger was behaving.
"What-"
"You fainted," Kongpob answered, not meeting the other's gaze and that caught Arthit's attention.
"I came to your... apartment. Saw you unconscious on the floor. You hit your forehead when you fell."
Arthit's hand immediately reached out to touch his forehead, he felt the bandage on the side. He gulped, clearing his throat as he looked up at the younger. The way the younger wasn't looking at him and how he fidgeted somehow made him feel conflicted. He wanted to ask what was wrong but at the same time, he didn't want to. Even though he yearned to do so.
"How-How did you find my apartment?"
"K'Bold."
Arthit's eyes widened, "Wh-"
The two males turned their attention towards the door, watching as a doctor and a nurse walk through it. Arthit immediately recognised the doctor and later realised that he was at the same hospital as the ones his brother was in treatment for.
"K'Arthit, nice to see you again. But I didn't hope to see you like this though." The doctor smiled as he stood beside the latter, taking his hand in his. Checking the pale man's pulse.
"This is the second time this month you're fainting. I don't know how you would have survived if not for any of your friends bringing you here." The doctor eyed Kongpob who gave a tight smile.
Arthit sighed, he didn't have anything to say. It was hard to take care of himself when he was running around for multiple jobs, juggling everything and losing his sleep. He was just glad that at least he could sleep 3 hours a day.
"You exhausted yourself again, resulting your body to shut down. Please have three meals a day, even though it isn't much just a small snack is enough, eat something. Drink plenty of water. Your blood level is low. Close to anaemia but you're fine. I can clearly say that you didn't get enough sleep for who knows how many months."
Arthit bit his lower lip. Staring down at his hand which had an IV injected into it. He sighed, he just want everything to stop, just so he could feel free in himself.
"I request you to get admitted for the next three-four days. I don't want you to leave unless I can see that you're getting better."
Arthit immediately looked up, shaking his head at the doctor. "Dr Drake, I can't-"
"He will stay."
The elder snapped his gaze towards the younger male, finding him staring at the doctor.
"Kongpob, no. You don't kno-"
"I said you'll be staying here." Kongpob turned to face Arthit. Throwing an almost glare at him. "I want you to get better. Do you know how scared I was when I saw you unconscious? You aren't leaving till Dr Drake say that you are well."
"Listen to your friend, K'Arthit." Dr Drake placed a hand on the latter's shoulder, assuring him.
Arthit didn't like the idea at all, he can't afford it. "But-"
"P'Arthit."
The elder male froze, his lips parted in surprise. Slowly turning his gaze to meet the younger's charcoal eyes, it surprised him, seeing how concerned and worried the latter looked. The familiar call of the younger brought butterflies in him.
"Please, P'Arthit Kharp." Kongpob tilted his head unknowingly, feeling himself being that freshman who fell in love with the head hazer.
Arthit gulped. Those puppy eyes of the younger stirring his insides. Shit, Arthit!
"Ok."
The smile that bloomed on Kongpob's face made Arthit's heartbeat race. He turned away, feeling as if all his senses are hurting him. The change was hurting painfully but at the same time soo relaxing, feeling at home, at once.
"Great. I'll check up on you in the evening. Have a good rest, K'Arthit." Dr Drake knowingly glanced at Kongpob who nodded his head. The exchange missed out on Arthit's attention as he waied at the doctor.
Once the two staffs were out of the room Arthit slumped against the bed. His eyes roamed around the room, it was a private one, cosy. He was sure it was expensive. The last time he was admitted here for a day he was at the casualty.
"Why did you bring me here? This is gonna cost soo much." Arthit massaged his temples. He can't even buy himself a meal for a day, how was he gonna pay for this.
Kongpob's lips trembled. He reached out to hold the elder's hand, startling the other. "P'Arthit. Please."
Arthit's eyes fixed on their hands. Trembling as he felt the coldness of the other's hand but why did it feel soo warm?
"Leave my hand, Kongpob."
"No." Kongpob shook his head, eyes pleading and helpless.
"I-I'm sorry. But can you just let me take care of you, P'Arthit? Please? Like-Like I used to, back in those days." The small painful smile that pressed on the younger's lips ached Arthit's heart.
Flashes of the days they spend together at University, taking care of eachother. Being each other's comfort. Everything came crashing down. He turned his head to the side, choosing to not answer the other's plea.
"You haven't eaten. I'll ask them to bring something." Kongpob smiled softly at the elder, turning around he made his way outside the room. Even though he could just press the switch in the room to get the nurse in and ask for food, he knows that Arthit needs time. He'll let the elder think through it.
He himself was tired of faking all of it. Keeping it hard in front of Arthit. The elder knows him better than anyone, at least back then, and he knows how hurt the latter might be with his cold behaviour. It was a way he used to keep his emotions in check, to not break down and beg Arthit to just come back and to not do what he was doing.
But now, knowing most of what Arthit had gone through he can't do that anymore. Just staring into that face, into those hazel eyes, it reminds him of that tempered head hazer, at the same time the man who laid on the floor of a tiny room. He wants Arthit back in his life, assure the man of everything. Give Arthit what he had lost.
"K-Kong," a trembling whisper left Arthit's lips after the younger left the room. He broke down, letting his tears down and small sobs escape his lips.
He was thankful that he was left alone for the moment. He needed it, to gather all his emotions that seems soo confusing at the point. Kongpob's change in behaviour, the concern and care. Everything reminded him of his old self. Memories of how the younger would constantly call on his phone or remind him with puppy eyes to take care of himself during exams and to not get exhausted. Arthit never thought he would miss those moments but now, he did.
It seemed as if Kongpob had put his guard down. And he didn't know what to make out of it. The feelings were confusing. He wanted to lash out, break anything and everything that his hand reaches to. He wanted to scream and scream until his voice sounded hoarse and his throat hurts. He wanted to just end it.
But somewhere now, he didn't want to. Was it a tiny bit of hope that was in him? Hope for the better? But he never trusted it. There wasn't any hope for him. But with Kongpob back in his life why does it seem soo easy to hope? Why does it seem soo damn easy and hard at the same time? It was confusing. He didn't know what to trust, in fear of being crushed if his expectations were not met.
When Kongpob walks out of the bathroom, he finds Arthit searching for something. Desperately looking through his clothes that were placed on the table beside the bed. The latter was wearing the hospital gown ever since he got admitted.
"What are you looking for?" Kongpob asked, curious. His eyes fixed on Arthit's IV cannula, fearing if it'll rip off with the way the elder was moving it.
"My-My-Fuck!" Arthit tried to speak but his mind was in no sense to make out proper words. His brain was just screaming one thing and he has to get it.
"P'Arthit!" Kongpob rushed to the elder. Taking the other's hand in his. His other hand stopped the IV pole from falling.
"Leave me! Did you take anything out of my pockets? I can't find it!" Arthit glared at the younger male. Trying to rummage through his jeans pocket for the hundredth time.
"P'Arthit, stop." Kongpob tried to calm the other. He had predicted for this to happen, he's just surprised that it took Arthit this long to react.
And that calmed him a little, knowing he can help Arthit out of it. He hadn't fallen in the trench yet.
"Leave me alone, Kongpob! Fuck off!" The elder's eyes were paler than it was before, face morphed in anger and desperation. Dry lips trembling. And the sight feared the younger but he had to stay strong.
"Arthit!"
Kongpob shook the other. Standing right in front of him, pushing the other, making him sit on the bed. He cupped the other's cheek, letting his own trembling lips press tightly on the other's firm, dry ones. Kongpob sucked softly on to Arthit's lips, moistening them with his wet ones. Thankful that the other didn't pull away.
Arthit was too stunned to do anything. He didn't respond to the kiss, instead, he closed his eyes. Only focusing on the tender touches of the younger male, feeling as if he was back. The familiar taste of those pair of lips slowly seeps into his system.
The gentle strokes of Kongpob's tongue, soft sucking and tilting of his head. Fingers dabbing his cold cheeks, warming his body with his close presence. Arthit was too afraid to move. Afraid if it would end, he would be back to reality where Kongpob wasn't there.
And when Kongpob pulled away after what seemed like hours but ended too soon, Arthit unconsciously moved forward, not wanting to part away. But they did.
"P'Arthit, listen to me." Kongpob's whisper brought Arthit out of the daze. Reality crashing on him that Kongpob was still there, every much real. That what just happened was absolutely true.
"I know I shouldn't have invaded your privacy but I took your cigarettes away."
Just as those words sunk in, Arthit's eyes widened. He pushed Kongpob away.
"What the hell!? Why did you do that!?"
Kongpob reached out again, pain written over his face. Holding Arthit's shaking hands in his he whispered to the elder to calm down.
"Why are you doing this? You scolded me for smoking back then, made me quit it and now, what happened? Why are you doing this? Stop it please, P'Arthit."
Arthit's hands clenched into a tight fist, "That's my only escapade. A way I could escape everything. It was my only companion. People change, Kongpob."
"No," Kongpob shook his head, desperate to walk the elder out of it."Do you know you could have died with all the smoking you did with those trashes that your so-called friend gave?!"
"What?"
"Those were fucking drugs, P'Arthit!"
A gasp left Arthit's lips. He hadn't seen the younger soo troubled, shaking and cursing ever. And as much as Arthit wanted to defend himself, thinking Bold would never do that, the tears in Kongpob's eyes told himself the right opposite. He shook his head.
"Wh-No-No-N-"
"Yes! Didn't you feel anything while you smoke it?! And just now, all that you did was signs of addiction! You were getting addicted to that thing with such a short amount of time!" Kongpob's hands on Arthit's slipped away as he stepped back, keeping a distance between them. Looking straight into those hazel orbs.
The younger's eyes softened the next second, almost begging Arthit through his gaze, "P'Arthit. That guy is not good for you. Y-You shouldn't be with him. He's trying to get you on his tracks."
"No. B-But-," Arthit took sharp breathes."He was the only one who was there when I was alone. He was a brother to me."
"Let me get this inside you, Arthit!" Kongpob bit his lower lip, taking a deep breath. "You are not alone! I am with you! Will be with you until I decide when I have to leave! You will not get rid of me, today, tomorrow or anytime soon. You don't need that idiot to be with you! Do you get me!?"
Arthit stared at Kongpob with jaw clenched and face devoid of any emotions. He felt numb, for a totally different reason. Hearing the other's violent yet assuring words Arthit felt as if cold water was poured over his head.
Kongpob gently took Arthit's fisted palms in his."That man is not safe, P'Arthit. He first started giving you drugs, and then convinced you to work for him. That-That is not what a real friend or brother would do."
"And I hope you know that better than anyone else." The familiarity in the younger's charcoal orbs nade Arthit tremble. A series of painful memories flashed through his mind.
When the elder heard a soft, whisper-like sob, he looked up to find Kongpob looking away from him, the hold of their hands tightened. "I'm sorry, P'Arthit. I-I'm scared I would lose you again."
The younger hasn't still looked up at him as he continues to speak, making Arthit kind of panic.
"What Dr Drake told isn't the only reason why you fainted. You almost smoked more than 10 of those cigarettes yesterday. It was an overdose. Your weak body couldn't handle it. You could have fallen extremely ill, P'Arthit. Or worse you-you-"
Kongpob's laboured breathing scared Arthit. It scared him to know that he affected Kongpob in such a way even after all these years. As if he was someone much more in the younger's life than he thought he was. To see Kongpob almost breaking apart for him, Arthit couldn't take it in.
The room turned silent. None of the speaking or wanting to initiate any more talks. Both looked exhausted, as if they had run a hundred miles.
Arthit felt the younger's hold on his loosen up. His senses completely blank.
He never thought that Bold would do something like that. He thought he was just soo accustomed to taking cigarettes almost three times a day, even before the other male had given him those, that he couldn't survive without one for a day. Yes, that was another side of addiction but knowing that there were drugs in the ones he was using raised an unknown fear inside him. He didn't want to do that.
Arthit could feel that he was breaking inside, the tears that he tried to hold in for long finally falling. He didn't let out any noises, no sounds of cries or sobbing. Just tears running down his cheeks. Letting out the frustration inside him.
He was startled when a pair of arms wrapped around his shoulders. Pulling him close. He found himself resting his face on the warm chest, listening to the fastening heartbeat of the younger male.
"I met Rome."
Arthit closed his eyes. He didn't even want to ask how Kongpob got to know. Most probably from the hospital staff.
"I'm sorry you had to go through this P. We'll give Rome the best treatment and one day he'll open his eyes. And will be there for you as the little brother he is. Trust me."
He had come across a nurse in the morning who was concerned why Arthit was admitted there. When Kongpob asked how she knew about Arthit she told him everything. About Rome being in treatment there and she used to see Arthit almost every day, late at night, visiting his brother looking worn out, straight out of work.
A small smile spread across Kongpob's lips when Arthit's hands slipped around his waist, the elder's body shaking as sobs escaped those tender lips.
"Y-You don't have to do this, Kongpob."
Kongpob rolled his eyes as he took the luggage trolley from Arthit's hand and started to walk towards the building in front of them.
Arthit pursed his lips, "I don't need your pity."
The younger's steps halted. Shoulder's stiffened. And Arthit regretted saying that.
"You thought of me this way, P'Arthit?" Kongpob turned around, sighing as his eyes fell on the elder's unsure form.
"I'm not doing this out of pity. I want you back, I want the P'Arthit back who I lost. And for me, you were someone who gave me immense happiness, the best time of my life, before everything happened. I don't blame you, but now let me help you out. You deserve this, P'Arthit Kharp."
Kongpob tilted his head as if assuring the other as he smiled softly.
"Now come."
Arthit let out a breath that he didn't know he was holding after Kongpob resumed walking. Gathering up all the courage he followed Kongpob. Soon getting into an elevator, taking them to the younger male's condo.
He was surprised when Kongpob asked him to pack his belongings after he got discharged from the hospital. Dropping him off at the apartment he stayed at, to get his things. Arthit refused at first, of course, not knowing what was in the younger's head.
When Kongpob told that he don't want Arthit to stay there and instead move in with him to his condo, Arthit strongly opposed. Claiming Kongpob was acting upon pity and all the other things Arthit could think of. He doesn't want Kongpob to carry his pathetic self with him.
Kongpob was adamant. He was stubborn over this. It took two days to convince Arthit. And the elder could never not give in to the latter in the end. He had never been able to refuse him down right even if it was during the time they dated or now after all that has happened.
Arthit couldn't still understand why Kongpob sticks with him. He hurt the younger, too much. Left him alone, without any explanation. Kongpob deserved an explanation at least but Arthit wasn't brave enough to give that back then. And now, at first, even though he thought it was irrelevant, after all these days he thinks it's needed.
All the questions Kongpob asked, on why he had to do this from the day they met, Arthit stayed silent. He kept mum about it. Not wanting to give it in, trying to push Kongpob away as far as possible. Hate him and leave him alone after realising he was just a piece of trash. But that didn't happen.
"Welcome to my humble home."
Arthit's eyes wandered around the spacious condo while Kongpob walked inside, smiling softly watching Arthit look around.
The place wasn't too large nor too small. It had a spacious living room though, with a huge wall of glass, giving a perfect view of the big city. Comparatively smaller kitchen attached to it. The house felt cosy, at home,a perfect demonstration of Kongpob himself. Neat and tidy, not even a single thing out of its place. It definitely looked like a place Kongpob would have.
"I'll show your room," Kongpob called out, signalling the other to follow him. And Arthit did.
Arthit watched how casually Kongpob was guiding him, humming onto some tune as he stepped into a bedroom, turning its lights on.
"You can stay here. It's a guest room. If you need anything my room is just opposite. Ok?"
Arthit nodded absent-mindedly, taking his suitcase from Kongpob. Giving the younger male a tight smile.
"Freshen up, we can have lunch."
"You cook?" The surprise in Arthit's voice made Kongpob giggle.
"Well, kind of? I know basic things now but I'm not going to feed you with my boring cooking skills. I'll order something."
The elder nodded. "Oh, ok."
The two males stood there in awkward silence. Trying to understand what the other might be thinking. But when their eyes met eachother they immediately looked away. Awkward clearing of throats heard through the silence.
"I-I'll go freshen up." Kongpob awkwardly smiled, turning around and leaving the room. Closing the door behind. And the elder male slumped onto the bed, releasing a huge sigh.
Being in the younger's place Arthit felt soo proud of the man the latter had become. He had always wished for the best for Kongpob, a bright future and career. The younger is the acting CEO at his family's company now, respected by many.
Arthit had asked about the younger to Bold the day they met outside the restaurant before he was hospitalized. He didn't know much about Kongpob since he never made the effort to know how the latter might be doing since it only brought pain in him. But since the younger was with him for the past couple of days he wanted to know about him. And he was soo proud to hear the success stories of the younger. At the same time scared and insecure, doubtful as to why a man like him is sticking around with him.
In the end, Kongpob's presence was needed for him to find out the dark in his present life. If not for the younger male he doesn't know in what situation he would end up in. Bold would have used him to the brink that he would have lost everything.
Days passed as they stayed together in the condo. Kind of falling into a routine soon. Arthit wouldn't be awake by the time Kongpob was out of his room, fresh to go to work. He knows that Arthit had been purposefully staying in his room in the morning so as to not see him and Kongpob let it slip. He gave time for the latter to adjust.
Days were hard with Arthit fighting off the urge to go buy packets of cigarettes and smoke them. Back then it was his only solace. It was a routine for him. Something he done for himself. Smoking made him feel relaxed, for a moment forgetting his worries. But ever since being hospitalised, he wasn't able to smoke, the doctor and Kongpob were adamant on that fact. Asking him to stop it now or he would never be able to come out of the trap.
But as always, Kongpob understood him even before he could voice it out. Not that he would speak out to the younger in the first place. Three days into their stay together when Arthit came out of his room after Kongpob left for work he found a single cigarette stick and lighter. With a note beside it.
I know that you're trying hard P'Arthit. And you're doing soo great, I'm proud of you. Thank you for taking the initiative. I know it's ironic coming out of me, who used to smoke back in those days but ever since you confronted me I haven't touched a single one of those all these years. I promise.
But seeing you losing yourself at times, fighting off the urge to buy one I think we can take it slow. I will leave one of these each day, if it gets too much to bear you can take it. But try to fight it off.
One cigarette a day won't be too much of a harm. And we are slowly trying to tone it down too. Stopping something you have been doing for three years suddenly one day might cause more harm. So use it carefully.
-Kongpob
The first day Arthit had immediately taken a puff of it. Finishing the whole stick. He felt soo much better that day as if a void inside him was filled.
But he kept reading Kongpob's words again and again. It played in his head like a mantra. Reminding him of his fight.
There are days where Arthit wouldn't touch the cigarette left by Kongpob and he would catch the small smile of the younger when he finds it on the place he had left it when he returns.
And that sight was worth the struggle Arthit was going through. He didn't know he could love the other male whole over again. He knows it's wrong, Kongpob doesn't deserve him but he had the right to feel that way. He will keep it inside him.
Almost three weeks into them staying together, Kongpob watched as Arthit's hands tremble, looking as if he was on the verge of going hysterical. The older male was out on the balcony, he could see the other from where he stood, the glass door giving perfect view. It broke him to see the elder like this but he want the old Arthit back. And the elder needs his support, even though the other doesn't voice it out. From the time he had arrived home from the office Arthit hadn't talked to him or made any eye contact. Arthit looked as if he was holding something soo strong inside him.
Taking a deep breath the younger walked over to his bedroom. Taking out the cigarette packet he had kept in the drawer. Taking one stick out of it he walked out, he made his way towards the balcony after he took the lighter from the kitchen on his way. Arthit hadn't touched one for almost a week and he knew the other was fighting the urge off and he was proud of it. But he knew Arthit needed this now, they were taking small steps at a time.
He noticed that Arthit was startled at the sound of the glass door sliding. But the latter didn't turn to face him.
Stepping towards the elder, he stood beside him. A safe distance between them. Kongpob stretched his hand out in front of Arthit, the cigarette stick and lighter in view of the elder.
Arthit gasped, his lips trembled as he raised his gaze at Kongpob who had a small smile playing on his lips.
The elder's hands automatically took the two objects in his. Fingers trembling and fumbling over it. Arthit managed to light the cigarette and took a huge puff out of it.
Kongpob watched the way the elder's body language changed with it. Feeling a tight knot form in the pit of his stomach.
Arthit let out heavy breaths as he took in the smoke, feeling the familiar calmness wash over him. Even though the one in his hand didn't give him the same amount of placidity as the ones Bold used to give him- even though he knows that contained drugs, he wanted to feel the essence of serenity it gives- the feeling was familiar and he was content with it. But something was wrong, he felt guilty for doing it.
Three puffs in Arthit didn't know what got into him but he found himself aggressively throwing the lit cigarette on the floor, angrily stomping on it, with his barefoot.
"P'Arthit!" Kongpob's eyes widened as he held Arthit's shoulder, pushing him away from stomping on the thing. He panicked, immediately kneeling and trying to check Arthit's feet, to see if he had burned his skin.
"Move away!" Arthit almost kicked the younger in the face as he tried to walk away, shaking Kongpob's hold on his leg.
Kongpob stood up, stopping Arthit from walking away. "P'Arthit! You can't keep walking away like this! You have to tell me what's going on!"
Arthit's bloodshot eyes met Kongpob's charcoal ones, staring at the teary eyes the younger was surprised.
"What is there to talk, Kongpob?! I ruined everything! Every single thing! I-I almost ruined myself in every single way possible! Each day for the past three years I see the people who I trusted turn their back on me!"
Kongpob let the elder vent out, he could see Arthit was letting things out off his chest even without his own knowledge and the younger let the other be.
"It wasn't your fault P'Art-"
"It is easy to say so!" Arthit's turned his back on the younger, gripping on the railing. Knuckles almost turning white.
"It is my fault! It is my fault I didn't have enough control over my life! It is my fault that now all these are happening! It is my fault that I can't push you away Kongpob!"
The younger gasped. Not expecting to hear those words.
"E-Even our parents don't want us! They chose to leave us alone than solve everything! The company got bankrupt and they didn't even want to talk to us! They left us, left me! Almost taking my brother away from me in that accident too!" Arthit's shoulders shook violently.
"You know what!? All of my family, cousins, uncles and aunts! Everyone left us when we needed them the most! Kicked us out of the family because we were useless now! Useless because we were bankrupt! Beggers! I had no other way than run away and protect the only person who was left behind for me. I had no choice!"
Kongpob's heartbeat raised, each word stabbing right through him. Wasn't he a part of Arthit's family too? Didn't he think about talking to him for once with all those happening?
Kongpob wanted to ask but he chose to stay quiet. He could understand it as he looks from Arthit's perspective. The shame and feeling of betrayal were too much for the elder male.
"Why am I even here?! For what? For what reason?!" Arthit gripped his hair, letting out an angry growl. He snapped his gaze to the younger, his whole form shaking and trembling that it scared Kongpob.
"Why are you here!? Why are you here with a man who hurt you!? Can't you see Kong?! I'm nothing! Nothing at all! I'm just a man who begs every day for work! Trying to make ends meet! Pathetic and useless! Why are you here making all efforts to bring me back, Kong!? I don't deserve anything! Not even your kindness!"
The younger's jaw clenched, his fingers clawing into his own palm as his hands fisted on either side.
"If it wasn't for Rome I would have ended all of this way back! I should have done that! I am a worthless brother too anyway! Being helpless while he is on that hospital bed! With no signs of improvement!"
"It's better to stop all of these. End it." The words were like a whisper, even afraid of voicing it out loud but Kongpob heard them crisp and clear. He could read in between the lines and that broke the string of patience in him.
"Can I ask you something?" Kongpob's plain, cold voice broke the elder's trace.
"You blame your parents for not talking. For ending it without any communication. Not daring to face everything and leaving you and Rome behind. Then what are you doing now, P'Arthit?"
Arthit blinked. His breathing heavy, face flushed red with all the outbursts.
"You didn't leave room for communication between us or between your friends! You left! Left without giving us a clue about what happened! Didn't you do the same mistake as your parents?"
"I-It's different," the elder gritted his teeth.
Kongpob nodded his head, understanding the other. "Of course, yes. All that you went through in that short time made you lose your confidence in us. Confidence and trust in your boyfriend, in your friends. You chose to stay away from us thinking we all would look at you as the son from a bankrupt family!"
The younger took a deep breath, feeling light-headed with the way he was letting out his feelings too. Feelings that were buried in him.
"I can't blame you for your insecurities, P'Arthit. But you-you could have talked to me. We promised to be there for eachother, understand eachother. D-Did you think of me as someone who would leave you just because of the value of digits your family made?" The tears fell just like how his feelings were given the freedom to flow out of him.
"You know what? After your disappearance, we went to your house. We searched for you. We got to know from others what happened to you. They told they didn't know where you were or what happened to you. We kept searching for you that it drained a part of us too. They just wanted their friend back, be there for you. I-I needed my lover back, so I could stand beside you and face everything that is on your way, our way."
Arthit doesn't know how to react. He felt a part of him had eased after he had vent it all out but hearing Kongpob right now, the truth was crashing down on him.
"I'm not here to plot revenge or out of pity. The first time I saw you in that club, almost going to spend the night with Ed I felt jealous! If you didn't mean anytime to me why would I feel jealous?! Feel hurt and the need to get you out of that dangerous life!?"
"I know I behaved like a jerk on the first three days. Hurting you soo much. And I'm soo sorry, P'Arthit! The only thought I had was to have you back, to not let you go so we could talk. Maybe-maybe sort things out and start new. And I thought the only way to make you stay was to do what I did. And I'm sorry for that." Kongpob heard Arthit gasp. But he didn't dare to make eye contact with him, if he did he would lose it all. Lose the courage that has come at him.
"I want you back, P'Arthit. You deserve better. You need to come out of it, look at the better side now. I'm here for you. Please-please for once lean on me. Let me be there to hold you while you try to gather yourself."
Looking up Kongpob still found uncertainties in those hazel eyes. He could practically see the gears inside Arthit's head turning in all ways possible. The silence made Kongpob restless.
"Think about it P'Arthit! What if I was thrown to the streets. If it was me in your place. I'll end my life the very next moment!" Kongpob watched Arthit's eyes widening, the way pain etched in his face. He knew this would work.
"I'm useless! It's better if I end my life! There is nothing more for me to do here! No one loves me! I'm all alon-" '
"Stop it!" Arthit reached out to hold the younger's hands. An unknown fire in his eyes as he breathed heavily.
"Are you nuts?! What are you saying!? You're out of your mind! You can't do that, Kong! You can't leave everyone like that! I'm here for yo-" Arthit absurdly stops. Gasping for air. Realising what he had said.
He was too into it that he didn't realise Kongpob was trying to get those words out of him. He was too invested, hearing how Kongpob was picturing such a scenario, his brain made it seem as if it was really happening.
If anything of that sort really happened Arthit wouldn't be able to handle it. Seeing the person you love walk away to the inevitable death, no he can't do that. And he realised now how Kongpob must have felt all the while he was accusing himself and talking about ending everything.
Kongpob stepped forward, tightening his hold on Arthit's hands that were slipping away. "See? You understand how I feel now? Hearing you talk about ending things is breaking me. We can walk through this together P'Arthit. And I promise you that, I'm never going to leave your hand."
Arthit stayed silent, flinching when Kongpob's fingers dabbed on his cheeks, wiping the tears that fell which he was unaware of.
He let Kongpob drag him to the patio at the balcony. Made him sit on one of the chairs. Asking him to wait for a minute. Arthit's brain was too much occupied with thoughts that he failed to hear the younger male, he just stared into the evening sky, watching the orange hues blend in with the blue.
All these years he didn't think of himself, the only aim that he had was the recovery of his brother. Finding all the ways to get money, worked day and night, exhausting himself but he never complained. It was just the pressure that he held with all the events that broke him. He didn't want to realise his worth, seeing himself as someone dirty and useless was easier than teaching his mind that he was worthy of love and life.
But once again Kongpob swept him off his feet. Just like the way the younger had made him fall head over heels for him back in the old days, giving him soo much love. This time too, the latter was here for him. Once again walking into his life, making him realise his mistakes and giving him a helping hand to correct all of them.
Now, at that very moment, Arthit couldn't help but think that he was indeed very lucky.
"Oh," Arthit flinched, hissing as he felt a burning sensation in his feet. His lips parted in surprise when he found Kongpob on the floor, sitting cross-legged, with his feet in his hands. Slowly applying an ointment to the burn under his feet.
Arthit sighed, his lips trembling, realising how much Kongpob still cared for him. The younger always looked out for him back then and now too, even after three years of hurting.
"You keep overthinking a lot. I guess it's because you are alone all day in this place, soo much room for overthinking." Kongpob shrugged his shoulders, still focused on analysing the burn.
"So I will find a job for you nearby. It will help you keep distracted, I will let you know about it. And maybe-" the younger looked up, uncertain as to what he was about to say but he voiced it out nevertheless.
"Maybe you can continue your studies? There are online programmes for it now, you can choose to take them if you don't want to attend classes offline. And before you reject it, you can apply for a scholarship if you want to, so don't worry about the expenses."
Arthit gasped, staring surprised at the younger.
Kongpob thought for a second, placing Arthit's feet ever soo gently on the floor. "As far as I remember, you only had to clear exams for the last semester in the third year. You can study for that and then finish the final year. It's a good way of distracting yourself from all these mundane thoughts too."
Arthit was surprised knowing Kongpob still remembered all those little details. He never thought about studying further, his dreams were crushed and he never put a step forward to achieve it in the run for making expenses meet. When he decided to drop out of college during the last semester in his third year he didn't think about it further. With his parents' death and everything going on at that time, he didn't think beyond it. The only objective that he had then was to move away from people's judging eyes and take care of his brother.
"Kong, but-"
"Nope!" Kongpob shook his head. "Don't think about Rome now. I'll take care of it. Focus on your journey, you left your dreams behind and now it's time to pick it up."
It astounded the elder, realising how well Kongpob knew what was inside his head.
"And please! Don't say no, you have to move forward. This was your ambition. And I want you to achieve it. And dare you to talk about expenses and all those shit once again-" Kongpob playfully pointed at the elder, his eyebrows furrowed and a pout on his lips.
"I will plaster your mouth and tie your hands, put you in a room and lock it! I will not let you out until I'm sure that you will not be talking about it anymore! Am I clear?"
Even though Arthit knows that the younger wouldn't do that, the way Kongpob said it soo childishly made him chuckle. A smile formed on his lips as he nodded.
"That was a silly way of threatening though," Kongpob chuckled at his own remark. Scratching the back of his neck.
Seeing how Kongpob's lips stretched up into a wide smile Arthit felt as if a gush of warmth ran through him.
He will give life a second try. A different start.
End of Peraya Delight Chapter 75. Continue reading Chapter 76 or return to Peraya Delight book page.