Played like a Guitar - Chapter 16: Chapter 16

"I have another place in mind, hopefully it's still open. Children usually hang out there, so I believe it's perfect for your mental age." - I teased Jamie and after an entire day of doing so, he didn't even bother responding to my jokes anymore. If this dude can write two albums and a book of poems, anyone can. At this point, he seemed comfortable following me around these crazy fun-packed locations, no questions asked.
Strolling around a treeless park where people would gather for picnics during daylight and stargazing at night, I was hoping we would see multicolored lights and hear the high-pitched sounds of children shouting at the end of the path. Halfway there, we stopped in front of a duo singing Amy Winehouse's Valerie with an acoustic guitar and drums, fitting for the relaxing and romantic atmosphere. Jamie listened attentively to every string being pulled, accompanied by their complementing voices. They appeared to be fraternal twins, sharing similar facial features, darker skin tone and black curly hair. I always wondered what the different stories behind these amateur artists were, how they came to be, and what would become of them. Will they be as lucky as the Midnight Blues, I wonder?
"And I've missed your ginger hair, and the way you like to dress..." - I mumbled to myself quietly as the chorus drew near. Although I've been listening to this masterpiece for years now, never before did it strike my heart on such a personal level. A simple line I would chant while showering or walking down the street just gained an entirely new meaning. Great, now I can't even listen to my favorite songs without associating the lyrics to him! Oh Amy, why did you have to leave us so soon? There's no price I wouldn't pay to experience her live performance. Listening to her records was one of the rare instances when my mother and I would get along well, setting our differences and temperament aside.
Before I could get emotional, the duo's marvelous cover came to an end and in return we gave them a cheerful applause and some spare change, but their fellow musician wasn't quite ready to leave yet. Instead, he approached the brother, asking if he could borrow his guitar to sing a special song. To my surprise, the brother stood up delighted, lending him his chair and instrument. O'Dea whispered the song's name to both of them, and they seemed quite thrilled by his choice.
"Three...two...one..." - he murmured, before playing the chords to the gentle intro. The tune was so familiar, a song I haven't heard in years but knew by heart before.
"And you only need the light when it's burning low, only miss the sun when it starts to snow..." - her velvet voice music to my ears, performing Passenger's Let Her Go. You have good taste, O'Dea.
"...only know you love her when you let her go." Hearing him singing again sent me to seventh heaven. A larger crowd gathered now in a circle, chanting along. Watching Jamie doing what he was best at, making people come together and filling their hearts with joy, made me appreciate his existence in my life. As much as I loved teasing him for his stupidity most of the times, he truly had a talent for music and deserved all the recognition. He moved his eyes from the guitar onto mine, giving me the same smile he always did while performing, the smile of genuine happiness and fulfillment. No one deserved him. Not Valentina, not me, no one. A precious gem lost in his own world.
The unexpected trio synchronized their voices in harmony with such ease, almost like they've been taking part in a choir together for years. He responded to the audience's innumerous claps with a gentleman's bow, shaking hands with the siblings and passing the fedora around. It was soon filled up to the top with change and bills, which he proudly returned to the twins.
"You two have a talent for music, and I'd like to thank you for sharing it with us here tonight. If you ever need advice, don't hesitate to give me a call. I know personally what it's like to start from scratch." - he empathised and gave them a piece of paper with his number scribbled on it. How sweet and generous of him to treat them as equals, as people working in the same industry and sharing a passion for music.
"Jamie...where do I even begin? That was incredible, your voice, your energy while singing, the raw emotions, everything. Seriously, you're gifted as fuck! Please don't ever take it for granted." - I patted him on the back. He smiled humbly, scratching the back of his head, unaware of just how top-notch their performance was. Most artists nowadays can only dream of reaching that level with their auto-tuned mumbling.
"I won't." - he reassured, and I believed him.
Remembering my schedule for the day, I grabbed his hand playfully so we could make a run towards the fun-packed location. We were so comfortable with each other by now that it was almost like a reflex. What if he felt forced to accept it, afraid that it may ruin our relationship? Less thinking, more running Noah.
The sight of a Ferris wheel spinning in the distance lifted the heavy weight off my shoulders. It was a small amusement park I've only heard stories of but never visited, consisting of a Ferris wheel, bumper cars, carnival games and trampolines. "Un paradiso per bambini" – the flashing sign displayed, true to its words. I could swear I almost heard Jamie screaming internally, like a child waking up to the smell of fresh baked cookies on Christmas Day. "Here's money for the tokens, honey. And remember what we said, don't talk to strangers!" - I made fun of his excitement despite knowing well he would love it.
"This place is awesome! Where do we even start?!" – he spun around in indecisiveness. I pointed to the tiny roller-coaster with only a few uphills and minor drops, compatible with my fear of heights. He flapped his lips, unimpressed by my dull choice. Instead, he approached the terrifying rainbow ride, where they glued visitors to a seat, steadily making their way high up in the air in a circular motion before falling down until they vomited their brains out. It's a no from me.
"Oh come on! It's not that bad..." - he observed the people screaming in fear while dropping hundreds of feet down. "See, they're having so much fun!" - he tried persuading me unsuccessfully. "Please, please, please, pretty please."
"Fine." – I exhaled, giving up to his persistence.
"YES!" – he ran to buy us tickets, letting me enjoy the last seconds of my life before I perish eternally. I felt my legs shaking as soon as I stepped on the metal platform, my body preparing itself for the thrill of a lifetime. The employee made sure we fasted our seat belts and the protective holders were securely attached. "What happens if they come off? What if..." – but my sentence was interrupted by the machine's force pulling us upwards slowly. The ground so far from our feet, people's faces becoming indiscernible, the world turned smaller. "I can't do this. I want to come down." - I panicked, feeling the anxiety kicking in at maximum speed. No, no, no, this isn't happening! I started flapping my legs, my breath intensified, wishing to escape from the dreadful contraption.
"Noah! NOAH! Look at me!" – Jamie yelled, pulling my chin towards him. I shifted my attention to him, ignoring the breathtaking view behind, hoping his beautiful face and positive energy would make my death swifter. And what a sight for sore eyes they were.
"We'll get through it! It will be just like that cliff on the beach, remember? I won't let go of you, I promise." – he freed his right hand, reaching out towards mine in an attempt to make me feel more secure. I looked down once again, only this time we were at the very top, seconds away from the spine-chilling drop. A moment of silence before the rainbow's machinery came to a halt, letting itself drop with gravity's full force. Unable to scream from the fall, I squeezed his hands with what little energy I had left. I could feel my internal organs switching places and my heart beating all the way up in my throat. He, on the other hand, was whooping out loud, his body packed with adrenaline. After the longest seven seconds of my life, I was ready to feel the floor on my feet once again, only to realize it was only the beginning. Oh sweet Jesus, Mary and Joseph, there is more than just one round!
I gave Jamie a threatening look, warning him that I was taking him with me in case I were to fall. The following three drops were less agonizing than the first, as I may or may not have passed out in the meantime, I don't remember. I woke up with my stomach turned upside down, feeling the pasta and tiramisu in my throat ready to burst out. The man responsible for the ride unfastened my seat belt, offering me an extra ride for free. Jamie declined his offer politely before I could slit his throat. "Do it." – my inner voice agreeing with me for the first time.
"Let's not do that ever again." – I declared, falling flat on my back, smelling the fresh grass, appreciating how pleasant it was to be on the ground. To think I wanted to become an astronaut when I was a kid! As dreadful as that experience was, my adrenaline levels skyrocketed, and I felt like I could conquer the world.
"Should we try the roller-coasters now?" – Jamie offered, his hand red from my firm grip, to which I shook my head instantaneously, the excitement already fading away. I take back what I said. It's not like my phobia can just disappear in one go.
"How about something less extreme, like the bumper cars?" - I suggested in turn. Having noticed my frustration with the previous ride, he gave in to it. We hopped into separate cars, his painted in a slimy green and mine covered in purple graffiti. Clearly not designed for our age, we barely fit inside but were equally enthusiastic as the youngsters we were about to crush. The electricity passed through the wires inside the motor, notifying us that we could start ramming into each other like crazy. Although there were dozens of other people, it was mostly us colliding into each other, the impact slightly breaking our necks every time. My cheek bones were inflamed from laughing this much, seeing his reaction to me sneaking up to him from behind, or pushing him to the side so he would slam into the innocent kids. After a few rounds though, we only had one token left and since the ticket booth closed down, I hopped next to him for one last ride. The leg space was insufficient for the two of us, so I put mine between his.
"Give it your all Jamie, show no mercy to these little monsters!" – his wicked smirk ready to destroy their childhoods. He stepped on the pedal, navigating at maximum speed. Most of the kids from the previous rounds were still there so they knew exactly what was coming now that we were working as a team. The obnoxious parents who were driving their children were yelling at us to stop bumping into them, which was the entire point of the game. Towards the end, I drifted into my thoughts, observing how full of life he was. I don't want to lose him, ever, even if it means staying friends. "Are you even capable of treating him as one after everything you've felt for him?" - queried the voice inside me. Good question, let's leave it for later.
The cars stopped abruptly, marking the end of the final round. He stood up from his seat, searching deep into his pockets, pulling out one last token. "Huh, guess I had another one all this time. You may have the honors." - he placed it gently in my hand. It was these little things that caught me off guard, drove me bonkers, made me question everything. Was he telling the truth, or did he use it as an excuse for us to be closer? Either way, we swapped seats, ready to finish off what was left of these obnoxious creatures. I can't wait to have kids of my own. Listening to their cries of fear filled me up with determination! Wishing to see how he would respond, I found out he was staring at me unrelentingly the whole time, not expecting me to notice it. Why is he doing this to me? My tiny heart can handle only so much. A vicious cycle of thoughts reemerged, one I couldn't escape this time.
Let's have a small recap, shall we? First, he goes on tour, meets me, we have a little thing going on, right? Then, he travels back to Ireland, starts dating Miss Universe herself, comes back to Thess, we have a lot of intimate moments together, he rejects my kiss because he plans on proposing to her. He eventually does, we then miraculously run into each other for the third time, do even more romantic stuff and I'm not even the one initiating them! How bipolar can he be? Just decide already!
"He's playing with your emotions, darling." I beg to differ, obnoxious voice! He's definitely hiding something, but I choose not to believe he's capable of performing a monstrosity of the sort. Lost in thought, I rammed straight into the protective border in front of us, right before the current cut off.
"Holy shit, that was badass!" - he laughed even if his knees got bruised from the impact. Well, at least one of us was unbothered. The amusement park's rides and booths were closing down one by one, leaving us with barely anything to work with. To my major disappointment, the Ferris wheel was no longer functioning, and the employee was covering the seats. It would've taken his breath away, seeing Rome's rooftops under a million stars. What a shame. Some other time, maybe. "There will be no..." Oh will you zip it already!
"Would you mind grabbing us some beverages at the vending machine? I need to take a leak." – he asked in a hurry with the unnecessary piece of information. On my way there, I spotted a cotton candy machine, buying us two bubblegum flavored puffy treats and two cans of soda. Watching the sugar strands attach to the wooden sticks was oddly satisfying, but my attention quickly switched to the reflection in the glass of the booth. Apparently, a crazy amount of multicolored lights lit up behind me all of a sudden. Wait a minute, those belong to the...
The Ferris wheel was brought back to life again, and the gentleman working there unraveled one of the seats, Jamie standing next to him patiently. Oh Lord, this man will be the death of me, I will keep on repeating it!
"Your persuasion skills are worrying me. Are you an undercover agent or something?"- I approached the grand contraption.
"Must be my natural charm and good looks. You're not the only one with connections, you know?" – he stroked his beard to imitate a model posing for a picture. I can totally see him hitting the runway in the future. "Maybe he's preparing for Valentina's fashion collection." - the voice refused to let me enjoy my time with him. Guess that's my queue to enter the passenger's component.
"In case you're wondering, he was willing to give us a private joyride for an extra buck." –he winked. There was no point asking him what bill it took to persuade the employee to turn on an entire frigging Ferris wheel just for us, since he would never accept my share of the fee. It was a fairly small red cart, designed to comfortably fit two people on opposite sides. The contraption's height was similar to the rainbow's, except it wasn't flying upwards or plummeting downwards, but instead moving at a pleasant pace to my relief.
"So..." - I mumbled, not sure what to add after everything said and done today, savoring the cotton candy piece by piece.
"So..." - he responded identically, ruining the perfect moment. I had a billion intimate things I wanted to ask him but they were so risky and could surely damage our already fragile relationship. It wasn't even a relationship, I despised calling it that. It was more of a...connection.
"Did you have fun today? I would've taken you to more places but we had barely any time, and I didn't expect you to be free after the book promotion so it was all spontaneous more or less." - I worried.
"You're joking right? This was by far one of the coolest, most action-packed days of my entire life! I don't remember the last time I had a break, let alone this much fun. The museum, the zoo, the boat ride and now this? Incredible, Noah. You cease to amaze me every time we meet! I thought Greece was astounding, yet you still managed to surpass that special night." - his compliment spread warmth throughout my entire body.
"Oh, shut up. You're making me blush!" – I disclosed, pushing him backwards gently. "No, seriously, it was the least I could do. I know you're busy with the band, the poems, Valentina and all. You deserve to relax, you're not some machine capable of working non-stop. The amount of pressure you put on yourself to finish everything on time with perfection, it's too much to handle." - I remarked.
"I know, but I've got to keep moving forward. It's the only way I can succeed and accomplish everything I've planned." – he looked at the floor, vaguely upset over my criticism.
"Why do you set such high standards for yourself? You've got an entire life ahead of you for Christ's sake!" He's so young, so why do it all now?
"Like I said last year, you don't know what's happening behind closed doors. I don't judge you for thinking my life is perfect and that I'm the luckiest man alive. It's the way I portray myself to people, how I want them to see me. As you may have realized by now, it's pretty effective. I need to finish these things so I can provide for my family. We're not in a good financial situation at the moment and I'm basically their main source of income." - he confessed with hints of shame. Well, I can add actor to his list of talents, and jackass under mine. I never thought money was an issue, taking into account his selfless generosity and the way he dressed. Don't judge a book by it's cover, I guess. Also, doesn't his father work for Mr. Delgado?
The more I think about it, he accomplished so much at such a young age: music star, poet, financing his family and soon-to-be wed. I'm almost twenty one and I can't even cook a meal without burning the entire kitchen!
"I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to come off as rude. If I had know about your situation I wouldn't have said a single word. It must be a huge responsibility..."
"It is, which is why the little journey you organized for me today was so exceptional. I wasn't thinking about these things. I experienced the same tranquility I had during my childhood and I want to thank you with all of my heart. Seriously, you saved me from a mental breakdown." – he took my hands into his, caressing my wrists tenderly. Wait, when did he take off his engagement ring?
The Ferris wheel paused at the very top, allowing us to enjoy Rome's ancient architecture, roofs of famous churches, monuments, and the fire orange sunset reaching far beyond human comprehension. He giggled out of nowhere, making me wonder what the hell was going on inside that brilliant mind of his.
"Nothing, it's just this whole scenery reminds me of the last time we saw each other. It seems to always end with us observing the night sky, talking about random bullshit that comes through our silly minds." I would've described it more politely, but sure, that's one way to sum us up.
"Only this time it won't end in a complete disaster, I hope." – I flashed my eyebrows, remembering that rainy evening. "The night is still young, and you're just as naïve as you were before." - my subconscious ridiculed. No, I won't let anything bad happen, not this time.
"About that...I've been meaning to ask you this ever since that night. That thing you said at the end, before you left my car...was it true?" – he broke the silence, his words impaling my chest like an iron spear. There it was, the question I've been dreading to hear, the one I was hoping he would forget. What was I thinking? It was bound to come up sooner or later. How does one reply to this? "Of course not, I was just drunk"? It would never work. People speak the truth when they're intoxicated, and I spoke from the bottom of my heart. Would replying negatively relieve him, or do the exact opposite? Would saying yes make him disappear from my life forever? I prayed not. Either way, I wished to stay truthful to him until the very end. Here goes nothing.
"I meant every single word, Jamie. As I told you earlier, I've had my fair share of summer flings and relationships, but what I felt that night for you is beyond my vocabulary." - I confessed as I gazed into the Italian horizon. "No one else made me feel that way ever since." - I shook my head. The moment of truth. Are we done for? Is there still a chance he may look at me the same way? He grabbed the secret locket through his shirt, as if it would whisper an answer.
His two distinct shades intimidated my very existence, piercing through all layers inside my body, reaching out for my soul. Was I allowed to give in? His lips opened, muting the world around us. Two burning souls in an endless black void, yearning to become one.
"I love you too."