Played like a Guitar - Chapter 25: Chapter 25

The O'Dea family was kind enough to let me accompany Malory to the venue, with Benjamin following the newlywed's car honking in front of us. The old rascal looked as fine as ever in his dark grey suit and fedora. He could easily pass as a former James Bond actor or villain, his posture better in his sixties than mine will ever be in my early twenties. Malory was sitting in silence, watching the cornfields and prairies arranged along the way. The previous hour was especially rough on her. That precious mind of hers must be crammed with thoughts.
"Hey, is everything okay?" - I offered a shoulder to cry on.
"No, none of this is." - she disclosed with her sore red eyes and running nose, her arms crossed over her resting legs.
"Cheer up! Your brother is really bumped to see you this way. He only has your best interest at heart." - I tried restoring peace between the siblings.
"If he did, he wouldn't be marrying that brainless swine." - she criticized overtly, and I bit my lip to prevent myself from laughing.
"Damn, you really hate her guts, huh? Did anything happen between you two?" - I asked, more out of curiosity than empathy. I was glad we both shared this common resentment towards that entitled witch, so maybe she was willing to share something Jamie wasn't quite ready to. "Not that I blame you, of course. They're not the most ideal couple on paper, we can both agree on that." - I added to make her feel more comfortable opening up to me.
"No, nothing did, and that's the problem. We barely spent any time together. I don't even know the woman my own brother is marrying. Plus, I didn't expect this day to come so soon. I always imagined Jamie marrying someone similar to him, someone who would appreciate his talents and everything he has to offer, a special person he'd write songs and poems about, someone inspiring..." - she paused for a second to hold in her tears, her brittle voice still shaking. "It feels like it's all going to waste...and for what? Her? I'd rather he died alone to be honest." - she looked out the car window, dispirited. Likewise, Malory, likewise.
"What about you Mr. Benjamin, how do you feel about Jamie getting married at such a young age? He told me about your close friendship with his late grandfather back in Rome." - I switched the conversation onto the infamous all-seeing all-hearing chauffeur, with whom I never got a chance to converse with properly until then.
"Young age? Women slightly older than Malory had children back in my days! But yes, Sullivan and I were like brothers, God rest his soul. I don't think he would've approved of this either." - he asserted in displeased fashion.
"That makes three of us." - Malory mumbled under her breath.
"What makes you say that?" - I queried curiously, surprised by his honesty. Is everyone in this car against the newly-weds? Heck, is anyone in favor of this marriage at all? Except the bride and her father, of course.
"Well, you see, Sullivan knew how impulsive his grandson can be when it comes to love, how he follows his heart instead of using that talented brain, voice and hands God blessed him with. I'll never understand why this happened all so suddenly, but who am I to judge? I never got married." - the way he uttered the last part so ordinarily, as if he avoided an arrow to the head. Does this mean he is unaware of the contract? I can't tell.
"I know right? They met at that godforsaken party, and now they're getting married all of a sudden. What was he thinking? It's so unlike him to be this impulsive..." - Malory joined the conversation now that she finally felt understood. "I guess we'll never know." - she shot a judgmental glance my way, fully aware of what was happening behind the scenes.
"How come you never found someone all these years?" - I questioned the charming man, urgently switching topics.
"It's amusing how many times I've been asked the same question, yet no one bothers to ask..." - but his sentence was interrupted by the grumpy co-passenger.
"...if I want to find someone in the first place." - Malory finished his sentence, having probably heard the answer countless of times in the past.
"It's impolite to cut people mid-sentence, young lady." - he scolded the fierce rebel. "But yes, I was about to say that."
"Excuse me sir, I didn't mean to come off as rude or anything, it's your personal choice after all." - I apologized, ashamed of my quick inference. Maybe it's best if I stay quiet until we arrive.
"No need to be sorry, I know it may seem unusual for a charming young man like myself to be single and happy, but I've come to terms with it." - he joked, true to his words.
"And I admire you for that." - I complemented truthfully, overwhelmed with respect towards this man. "I know we haven't spoken much Mr. Ben, but you always seemed way happier than most couples these days. Marriage is a full-time job, and some people are simply better off without it. I'm sure you've seen more things, visited so many places and experienced life to the fullest without that commitment on your shoulders. If you ask me, I don't see it as a loss at all." - I empathized, wishing I could have that mentality as well, but it was all I ever thought about since I met his 'grandson'.
"Not everyone understands that, unfortunately. Still, your kind words are much appreciated." - he said before switching his focus back on the road as we neared our destination. The venue was constructed not too far away from the center but gave the impression of a completely different world, a few acres of land surrounded by Mother Nature's wonders, perfect for naturalists. In its center stood a freshly pruned garden with exotic flowers and trees, bush sculptures and a large, tiered fountain.
"Here we are, folks." - Ben stopped the vehicle and helped Malory with her chair.
"Hey, mind if we uhm...go for a stroll first?" - she asked, referring to Ben, and he nodded gladly before they ventured off the beaten path, leaving me behind. I approached the venue awkwardly, feeling weird and unwelcome. Multiple gazebos and outdoor tents were set up all around, with circular tables covered in white cloth and gold utensils. Farm animals were running around freely to keep the youngest ones intertwined, alongside an indoor space with the chef's kitchen and restrooms. They served enough food to keep everyone's stomachs full for a month and the drinks were mixed in advanced, ready to be snatched by greedy hands. Even with all these options, I was still bored and lonely in this massive crowd. Malory and Ben were nowhere to be seen and Jamie was preoccupied with all the guests requiring his attention. What about me?
Elektra and Leo were on their way here by cab, allowing me to reflect on my life status for a hot second. First of all, I was unemployed and uninterested in searching for a job. Secondly, my parents were convinced I was doomed to become a certain failure, not to mention how I spent three years hoping to end up with this man I was completely in love with, only to see him getting married with another in front of my very own eyes. Last but not least, the only two friends I have left live in separate countries and my phobias and inner voices are still taking control over my life. What happened to me? I used to be so serious and hardworking, focused on scoring high in life and now it's like I'm merely spectating, no plans or ambitions left inside.
On top of that, look at all these people! Swimming in green, dressed in dazzling gowns and expensive suits, living their little fairy tales. I feel so out of place, so negligible sitting next to them. What did they do to get here? Did they work hard for it, or was it merely luck? All these recent events and suppressed emotions came up out of nowhere, bringing tears to my eyes. My world was officially crumbling and tumbling down. "You got yourself into this mess." - the cunning voice reminded.
Like a gift sent from the heavens above, a pair of white-winged angels hugged me from behind, convincing me everything would be fine. "Oh Noey, what did he do to you?" - Elektra asked, wiping the tears off with a napkin while Leo patted me on the back. I quickly noticed her rose pink long-sleeved sheath dress embellished with floral patterns, as it surprisingly covered most of her body. The reason behind it was clear, but my best friend looked as gorgeous as always. Typical preppy Leo appeared ready for a photo shoot with his designer navy blue shirt with short-sleeves and a pair of white shorts.
"Nothing, I did this to myself as usual. I keep thinking that by being kind, good things will happen to me but instead it just makes everything worse." - I sobbed with my head down. "You were so kind you broke Athena's heart." - the voice reminded me of my sin.
"I wouldn't be standing here if you weren't the kindest being I've ever met. Although we love men with issues, there's no need for such a pretty face to cry over some guy." - she wiped the tears off my eyes with a napkin in an empathetic, mother-like way. "Now come on, let's fill up our stomachs, destroy your livers with alcohol and show these amateurs how to dance!" - she dragged me to an empty table, placing a white plate filled with a bit of everything the restaurant had to offer and two Baileys Irish creams for Leo and I. Too tired to even eat, she fed me like a newborn baby while Leo was telling me all about their little excursion out of town. They were both in a great mood, trying so hard to cheer me up. I can't possibly afford to lose them too. Sipping on the liqueur and mocktail, they listened attentively to my recap of the ceremony, but our attention was redirected abruptly towards Valentina's shriek, as one of the guests stepped over her scarlet chiffon evening dress. While she was cursing at him in a hostile manor like a wicked witch, she overheard Leo laughing beyond himself, bringing her fake buttocks over to our table. Uh-oh.
"Perdóneme, do I know you?" - she asked with a puzzled expression, but Leo looked just as confused, asking himself the same question, unaware that she was the bride. Was she going to call security and throw us out? Jamie's sixth sense kicked in right before a major argument was about to break off.
"Leo! Elektra! I can't believe you guys made it here in one piece!" - he pulled both of my bewildered friends in for a kiss. Excuse me, what?
"Honey, these are my friends who came all the way from Greece to surprise me." - he fooled her, a master of deception at work. They both shook hands with Valentina, introducing themselves. I was pinching my thighs so hard when Leo tried to replicate a Greek accent.
"Ah, another one of your friends. Sorry, I thought you were paparazzi in disguise for a moment. Now if you'll excuse me, I must change dresses at once. Get ready for our dance, bebé." - she reminded the groom and gave him a smooch on the lips, sending one last dirty look my way. Next time I'll step on her face instead.
"Damn, that was close! Quick reflexes you've got there, bro." - Leo appraised the groom. Bro? Ha!
"Thanks, I'm glad you two are here to watch over Noah. Based on our previous encounters, I get worried whenever free drinks are involved." - he chuckled in my direction, aware of my passionate incline towards intoxication. My insides were tingling again from the attention and affection I finally received, after sharing spaces for so long.
"We're still working on it. Thank God Noah's alcohol tolerance is so low it doesn't take much to lighten up the mood." - they poked fun at me collectively, but I didn't necessarily mind it.
"Pleasure seeing both of you again, under better circumstances as well..." - he laughed, referring to the times he saw Elektra wasted in the club and almost had a fight with Leonardo at the zoo, "...but I'm needed elsewhere. The first dance is about to start, and I shouldn't be late. Someone's a bit grumpy already." - he pointed back to Valentina with his thumb before catching up to her, avoiding eye contact with me.
"He's alright." - Elektra shrugged, and I raised my eyebrow to her evident lie. "Okay, he's a total hottie, so what? I can find you someone way ahead of his league in no time." Knowing her, she was already analyzing a mental archive of people I could potentially date but seemed suspicious of her own words.
"No thanks, I'm switching back to girls now. Men are too complicated." - I declared with exasperation.
"Agreed." - Leo joined in, raising a toast to the clever conclusion and we all laughed in union. I stared at the groom as he walked towards the interior venue, but he was stopped by a young couple with an infant holding his mother's hand with his tiny fingers, wearing an adorable miniature suit. Jamie dropped to his knees, spreading his arms as the little boy jumped into his grasp before getting spun in the air, laughing innocently and spreading joy to nearby spectators.
I recognized them from the ceremony: the best man, his wife and first child. The way Jamie looked at the little boy with such rejoice, like he was his own, opened up a new set of feelings inside me, one's I've never felt before. Observing him assuming a father-like role for the first time, it was difficult for me to grasp the sudden realization: I wanted that with him. For a split-second, I pictured myself making dinner in our kitchen, watching him play outside with a little boy or girl just like that one, rolling in the grass patch with them. Elektra placed her hand on my shoulders, transferring my conscious back into the real world and gave me an empathetic smile. She understood everything.
Half an hour later, an announcement echoed from the interior venue, kindly asking hundreds of guests to support the couple throughout their first dance.
"Let's head inside, maybe she'll trip over and land flat on her fake nose." - Leo anticipated with excitement. If only he realized how miserable this whole experience proved to be for me.
Fitting all of us was no challenge for the ginormous white tent with the same furniture from the outdoor space, except there were instruments placed at the very end, ready to be played for the guests once the speeches and first dance were over. Delgado changed dresses for the third time, clothed in a fairytale-esque glittered light purple gown, whereas Jamie simply took off his blazer and showed off his suspenders, similar to the ones he wore in his locket picture. A Disney movie couple at first glance, but I could only see Maleficent behind that Cinderella cover.
Expecting something cheesy and cliché, I was pleasantly surprised to hear Take My Breath Away from the 80's, not too sluggish but romantic enough for a slow dance. The spotlight shined on the couple surrounded by all the invitees, an opportunity Elektra took to scan the area for famous celebrities, claiming she caught a glimpse of Enrique Iglesias earlier. My eyes were glued to Mr. Delgado, who was seated at the family table, smoking a cigar while surrounded by security. His serious demeanor was shortly replaced by a faint smile upon seeing his daughter dancing with the groom oh-so merrily. Jamie's hands held on to her waist, smoothly tilting left and right, just the way we did on that Italian boat. Every time his body faced us, he didn't take his eyes off mine, recognizing what could've been his in an alternate reality. His acting skills were spot on too, making the audience fall for his fake devotion and tenderness towards her.
Hundreds of feet stepped onto the floor once the song ended, marking the beginning of the real party. The Midnight Blues, minus Jamie, took over the stage to everyone's excitement and started performing their hit songs. Jessie looked striking in his fully black attire and longer, equally greasy, slicked back hair. The drummer kept his beanie on but switched his regular oversized t-shirts with a blue dress shirt for the occasion. The bassist changed both her hairstyle and hair color since the last time I saw her, transferring from the edgy purple side-shave to a silver pixie cut. The power of music managed to turn this nightmare of a day into a somewhat bearable event. The bridesmaids knew the different choreographies by heart, driving everyone else to follow in their footsteps. Also, I sensed some electricity sparking up between my two friends who were still pretending not to be together in front of me. I winked at El, allowing her to follow her heart's desires, since I was unable to. She didn't even glimpse at Jessie. Good girl.
I took a seat at an empty table, the furthest one from the rejoiced crowd, feeling another episode lurking around the corner, and with it, the threatening realization that I would never find another like him, or refuse to, for that matter, after meeting a soul so perfectly compatible with mine. I was going to spend the rest of my days reflecting on those few moments we shared together, and how I didn't do anything to prevent us from ending. There was no second chance, no alternative reality I could switch to or go through once the current one ends for me, to alter my choices and change fates, to make the future Noah happy and safe, unlike this one. I wanted this so much, it physically hurt. I felt like smashing the plates in front of me against the wall, tearing the tablecloths apart and ending this agony once and for all. Then, the inevitable "what if's" rushed through my mind, wondering where we would've gotten married, what song we would've chosen, how all my other problems would become trivial. I imagined an exotic beach on a deserted island, or a tiny chapel isolated from humanity somewhere in the vicious mountain heights, where we would tie knots in the spur of the moment and celebrate with our loved ones afterwards to the tunes and melodies of our favorite songs, drinking and dancing the night away as if life would always be that way.
"At least pretend to be happy for them." - old man Ben said as he placed his hand on my shoulder, but all I did was burst into tears, shoving my face on his blazer to hide the humiliation, unable to sustain the emotions I promised to withhold until tomorrow. How did I possibly think I could go through all this psychological torture without having a mental breakdown?
"I can't..." - I said between each whimper, my voice indiscernible from the loud music. "It hurts so much, I can't take it anymore." - I cried as he sat in front of me, positioning his chair carefully so the guests wouldn't notice.
"You know, I always thought you two would end up together. I remember looking in the rear view mirror when I drove you to that beach after his concert, you couldn't take your eyes off him." - he retold while wiping the snot and tears off my face, like a father would to his kid after falling off a bike, and even though it made me feel even worse, I cracked a smile at the pleasant memory which now seemed so long ago. "Then when I saw you two leave that library together in Rome, I remember you were trying so hard to play it cool, but you had that same damn look on your face the second he'd turn his back on you. Nothing changed." - he exhaled loudly and shook his head. If this was his idea of consoling me, then I'm better off jumping off a bridge. "After you both spent the night at the hotel, the poor boy was crying his heart out the next morning when he had to leave the country, said it was the hardest thing he ever had to do. Hell, even when we returned to Galway, he kept wondering if you'd ever see that bloody note he left ya." - he added.
"Don't. Just don't." - I pleaded, his insights shredding me to bits. He almost seemed to be enjoying the psychological torture.
"Listen kiddo, you need to understand that there are some things you can't control. I wish it were you in her place, I really do, but many things are at stake here." - he referred to the contract implicitly. So he does know after all...Not surprised Jamie told him about it. "I know this isn't what you want to hear, but cherish the memories you had together, and move on with your life. You're so young, you're not even aware of the journey that awaits you." - he was true to his words, giving me the exact opposite of a pep talk. The last thing I needed right now was a reminder of how picture-perfect we were together.
"How could you possibly know what I'm going through? You've never had to deal with this shit." - I said more harshly than intended, but there was truth to it. Although I respect his choice of singlehood, this was beyond his comprehension. Suddenly, his calm and collected face turned grim with outrage.
"How dare you say that! You know nothing of my life! What you're feeling right now, I felt it too once, a long time ago, but unlike you, I never got the chance to experience it! So shut your bloody mouth, you..." - he confessed out loud in anger now that the music got everyone distracted, as if he was moments away from shedding tears down his brown eyes but managed to suppress some buried memories. For an instance, he seemed completely lost in thought, as if he were debating over something extremely serious before his eyes reconnected with mine again. "Tell me, how far are you willing to go for him? Tell me what my grandson means to you." - he asked seriously without blinking, his eyes almost popping out from his head, and I found myself utterly intimidated by this side of him I never knew existed.
"I traveled over three thousand kilometers to see him." - I shrugged and laughed anxiously, but his alarmingly serious expression remained the same.
"Would you leave everything you know behind to be with him?" - he asked, and I nodded in fear. "Your school?", I nodded again, "Your family?", I nodded with guilt this time, "Your friends?" We both looked at Leo and Elektra, grooving to the music together on the floor like a married couple. I nodded.
"Would you kill for him?" - he asked as if he'd done the same for someone special in the past, and I nodded after a brief hesitation, although I couldn't imagine myself actually doing something like that. In life-or-death situations, God knows what we're capable of, and I couldn't stand the thought of losing him forever. But again, he wouldn't actually ask me to kill someone to be together with Jamie...right? With that menacing countenance of his that left me scared stiff, I couldn't tell.
"Swear to me, SWEAR, that you would NEVER leave him until the day your skeleton rots six feet underground!" - he held my arms firmly with both hands, striking fear into my very own existence. I nodded erratically, in a state of utmost terror. "Then my friend, I offer you a choice today." - he reached the inside of his blazer's inner pocket, pulling out a sealed white envelope. For a second, I thought it was a gun and he'd force me to put a bullet between the bride's eyes with it. "This right here," - he shook it in the air, "can end their marriage instantly if given to Valentina herself, or if it falls in the wrong hands, you will never have to worry about her again." - he said, leaving me completely baffled. What was written in that envelope, that it could ruin a high-profile marriage before it even began? More importantly, how does he have it? The man I once saw as a chill chauffeur minding his own damn business, turned out to be a menacing vigilante who spent his long-life avoiding Death's grasp.
"Now, you might be thinking, what's the catch? Well, something tells me you already know what it is, or who, to be precise." - his unimaginable words drilled my insides like a jackhammer. Ben placed the envelope in my hand, since I was frozen in time and space. He was expecting an answer, but I found myself unable to speak. "What's the matter now? You kept wimping how life was unfair, so now I'm giving you the choice to alter your destiny." - he noted, placing a cigar in his mouth. "Think carefully of your next move kid, because your entire future will depend on it." - he said before disappearing out of the tent, leaving me speechless and bewildered. What. The. Actual. Fuck. Just. Happened.