Played like a Guitar - Chapter 26: Chapter 26

Since all the guests were preoccupied on the dancefloor with their significant others, I took the opportunity to refresh myself in the restroom and reset this puffy mess of a face, again. The luxurious white marble tiles and over-the-top lighting made me look exceptionally horrible in higher definition, but thankfully I took advantage of the free supplies to bring it back to an acceptable state. What they failed to do, however, was wash the cold sweat Benjamin induced in my body. How can a single piece of paper completely change my destiny? Am I becoming delusional? "This can't be real." - I pulled my eye bags down, staring into my own reflection. I took a deep breath before entering the hallway, only to come across the red devil herself with an unerasable smile from her face, the one I imagined having on this day, had our fate been different.
"Hola, are you having fun?" - she kept dancing to the muffled sounds. "I know I am." - she couldn't resist adding, as if it wasn't obvious enough.
"Plenty." - I answered blandly while making my way to the exit, unable to continue with the foolish act any longer.
"Is there a problem, Noah? You seem a bit...triste." - she remarked, brilliantly showing off her capacity to recognize basic human emotions. I'm impressed. "I must confess, I heard some people asking about you and your daring outfit. I can introduce you to them if you'd like. Who knows, maybe we'll be guests at your wedding next? Ha!" - she found herself particularly amusing today, whereas I found her particularly irritating.
"Think I'll pass, thanks." - I used the last bits of patients to remain civilized and not shove her face inside the nearest bathroom stall. "Speaking of rumors, I've read some pretty messed up things about you online the other day." - I lied to get a reaction out of her, wiping that undeserving smile right off her genetically enhanced face. "But none of them could possibly be true, right? You're so nice in person!" - I didn't even try disguising the sarcasm in my voice, and she smiled awkwardly.
"I really don't have el tiempo to read any of that nonsense. Now if you'll excuse me, I must change into my dancing dress." - she was quick to change topics. Also, weren't three dresses enough already?
"Hey, quick question out of curiosity. What was your favorite poem from Jamie's recent work?" - I put her right on the spot before she could leave. In reality, there was no right answer, as long as it matched the title of one of them. Just as figured, she couldn't come up with a single one.
"Oh, I couldn't possibly decide! My love is so talented, he puts his heart into everything he does!" - she lied to my face, filling my body with rage and resentment. If I were in her shoes, I'd be reciting the damn book like I wrote it myself. How can she live like this? It's pathetic and disrespectful towards him, to say the least. Her negligence for his work ceases to amaze me. His work deserves to be worshiped, for crying out loud!
"He sure does...Take care, Valentina." - I said as she dismissed herself into her dressing room of infinity located in the far end of the hallway, with a golden star printed on the red leather door. Little does she know what I'm capable of now. I let out a sound of intense exasperation before walking to the other side of the room and filled myself an iced glass of strong Irish whiskey, downing it in one go. The burning taste did little to ease the storm creating havoc inside my brain. She didn't deserve him - that's a fact, but was it really up to me to put an end to their marriage? Why am I even dwelling on this? I couldn't possibly do this to him. He chose to spend the rest of his years with that total flop of a human being.
"Leave some for the other guests." - a red-faced Jamie suggested arrogantly while approaching the empty table, and I poured myself another glass on purpose. "Jesus, Noah! Are you trying to get wasted?" - he tried reaching for the glass, but I pulled it away defensively.
"What do you want?" - my moody temper caught him off-guard.
"Woah, what happened?" - he sat in front of me with deep worry in his frustratingly beautiful eyes.
"You did, Jamie. This is all your fault." - I accused him calmly, chortling to the absurdity of this situation, to the source of all my problems and cravings.
"Wh-what did I do?" - he pulled a classic O'Dea on me by expanding his pupils and staring deeply through my soul, but it didn't work this time for some unknown reason. I managed to maintain eye contact with him longer than ever, wearing a bulletproof vest against his piercing stares. Whatever these mad Irishmen pour into their whiskey, it's working alright.
"You made me fall against that concrete floor three and a half years ago, and now I'm here." - I shook my head in disbelief without blinking, pulling an O'Dea on him now. His two distinct shades didn't seem to like the treatment, especially the blue sunrise on the right, which I was especially vulnerable to.
"Hey, don't say that." - he leaned forward, pulling his chair closer to mine, almost too close for a groom's acquaintance. "You didn't have to come here, you know. I knew it'd be hard on you...on both of us actually, so I never would have taken it personally." - he asserted, but I remained silent, observing every little feature as if I'd never see them again. Maybe I won't. "I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry for wasting your time, for messing with your emotions, for all this secrecy and bullshit I forced on you when it wasn't even yours to deal with. The truth is, I really wanted this..." - he grabbed my fingertips discretely under the table, "us to happen, but I owe it to Malory. I took away everything she had, and now it's my duty to sacrifice everything I have for her." - he said, with pink scleras now, and so much guilt and sorrow lying within them. "If I could, I would go back in time and let you die of thirst and hunger in that godforsaken alley, and end your suffering there." - he cracked a sad smile, piercing right through the liquor's impenetrable shield. "I wish this could be us, I really do! I wish I could make you smile for the rest of my life, but..." - he looked away, afraid his voice may fail him. Rest of his life? Does he mean... "I..." - he wanted to say something, but his words never made it out.
"I know." - was all I could say, disheartened that things would remain this way from now on. "If only there was a solution to your problem..." - the voice mocked me, but taking advantage of whatever was stored in this letter felt illegal and immoral, like using a real-life cheat code. I can't play God with our faiths. It's too much to bear. Jamie laid back against the chair with his bow and shirt untied, placing his left arm on the top rail, smoking a cigar. If this were our wedding, or anyone else's, I'd be all over him right now. The serious gaze, provocative posture, and carnal desire messed with my hormones ferociously.
A few minutes of silence between us passed, and the temperature suddenly skyrocketed to an oven-like state, making me sink my teeth onto the sweet cherry that was floating in his Bourbon Smash, licking my lips round and biting them. The staring competition intensified, his mysterious mind remembering the infamous and mystical night our imperfect bodies became one under the hotel's white sheets. Throwing the cocktail stick behind me carelessly, I took off my blazer slowly and tossed it against the chair, unbuttoning the top of my shirt before making my way towards the exit boldly, eyeing him top-down one last time. He stood up at warp speed with a flushed face, realizing what I was indirectly hinting at. Oh yes.
A fantastic rectangular hedge maze was designed not far away for the kids to have fun in, so I ran towards its entrance now that it was surely empty, away from wandering eyes. A few seconds later, his figure emerged from the tent, ready to play my little game, unable to resist the temptation. Another day, another mistake. Let's get lost inside, shall we?
I dashed through the maze, turning randomly at every corner, feeling his presence following me like a tiger hunting its prey, adrenaline rushing through my blood. Arriving at a dead end after a few sharp turns, I sat down, holding on to my breath but secretly wishing he would find me. Moments passed and yet I couldn't hear the sound of rumbling leaves or footsteps sneaking in. I tried peeking through the corner, but he was nowhere to be found. I sneaked towards the last intersection, wondering if he fell into a hole along the way. Alas, it was all a trap as he appeared out of thin air, grabbing my entire body and placing it on his shoulder.
"Okay, you win, just let me go!" - I plead in vain, giggling repeatedly as he carried me out of the labyrinth, placing me gently on the grass patch in the middle of an unblemished meadow with a sole tree in its epicenter. Not a second to spare, he dived right into my lips, kissing me like there was no tomorrow, tasting the scotch I downed earlier mixed with his signature fruity flavor. No drug on Earth could replace the ecstatic feeling surging through my veins, the alluring sensation of his beard scratching my soft skin and his fingers pulling hard on my hair to make sure there was no space between us. He nailed my hands against the greenery, taking full control over my body. Was this all it was ever going to be?
"I love you." - he declared out loud now comfortably, feeling his words reaching deep down from the bottom of his heart, where nothing but the truth lied.
"I love you." - I replied, the feelings I promised to conceal returning for the millionth time. The cycle continues. And the truth was, I fucking adored it, this thrill of the unknown, the burning sensation, the mysterious and secret component of our love, I enjoyed purposely wrecking it every second of the way. But another part of me wanting this comfort and passion for life, this everlasting flame burning so ferociously whenever we touched. How can I possibly have feelings for anyone else after all this? My doom was sealed the moment I laid eyes on him. In the spur of the moment, the image of Malory's petrified face ran through my mind, haunting me ever since.
"Do you still love him?" - a startled Malory asked, peaking through the opening of her bedroom door.
"Who? Jamie? Of course not, we're just friends." - I denounced the truth instantly although my brain did not process her question yet.
"Friends don't tell each other they love them. Not in that way, at least." - she confessed her awareness of the events.
"Were you spying on our conversation?" - I tried cornering her, but she had the upper hand.
"Answer the damn question." - she ordered, biting her teeth, moments away from breaking down.
"Look, your brother and I have a short history together, okay? I had some feelings for him before, but he's getting married tomorrow so it's over. We're done. Now I suggest you forget about it, or else Jamie will get into some serious trouble." - I explained, making my way downstairs again, uncomfortable of staying inside their house any longer.
"Look me in the eyes and swear it." - her lips trembled, breath intensified.
"I..." - my first instinct was to lie to her face again, but denying the one thing I was most certain of in that moment just didn't feel right. "I can't." - I closed my eyes and shook my head. Her deadly glance turned melancholic, and the door closed shut, leaving me alone in the dark.
"Is everything okay? Did I hurt you?" - Jamie stopped kissing me with a worried look on his face, having noticed my absent-mindedness quickly.
"No, no, I..." - I paused, sensing a raging war taking place within me between my head and my heart. He's not aware of the letter, Malory's knowledge, and the guilt is killing me. Should I tell him? What happens then? What if Valentina finds out this whole thing was arranged, and that Jamie doesn't actually love her? "Think carefully of your next move kid, your entire future will depend on it." - Ben's words kept playing on repeat ever since the revelation, and now was the time for it. "If you don't do anything, there won't be a second chance." - my subconscious joined the internal conversation, excited by the thrill of it all. "You'll die alone, and he'll die miserable." - it added manipulatively, but there was truth to it as always. I don't want to spend the rest of my life searching for a replacement, and I sure as hell don't want to die alone. Jamie gave my life purpose, a meaning, a drive to keep going and explore everything the world has to offer before the end, question everything I know, encouraged curiosity, made me see things from different perspectives. Meeting him was like gaining a sixth sense I never knew I had. I could see a future in his eyes, the very ones gazing deep into my core. In the left one, I imagined us Scooba diving in the ocean's depths, swimming with dolphins, skydiving among clouds. On the right, I'd see a faint vision of us getting lost inside a jungle, savoring books in colorful prairies, planting trees in our own backyard. I can't lose him. I won't. "We should head back soon before the guest notice your absence." - I said, and he nodded despite craving to stay like this for a while. I did too.
He held my hand on our way back, and Malory's voice extinguished itself as the warmth spread much like it did the first day we met. The matchstick to my gasoline. Ah, imagine feeling like this every day, the world would be a better place. "It can be, with the right move." - the voice reminded me of Ben's offer, which appeared progressively more temping by the second. Before reentering the tent, he mouthed three words and let go of me. Not for long, dearest.
Feeling someone's presence behind me, I turned around only to see Malory seated next to the fountain with Ben standing tall by her side, both observing me in silence with peculiar expressions. How long have they been sitting there? "Long enough to see you two lovebirds holding hands." - the inner voice confirmed my fears. Malory spoke to him, but her words were indistinguishable from the fountain's soothing sound, and they both started making their way towards me. Crap. What now? Was this the excuse she was waiting for to end this wedding once and for all?
"Is this your final choice, Noah?" - Benjamin asked slowly, placing three hundred tons of pressure on my chest. He seemed rather unbothered, whereas Malory's face was hard to discern, now sharing identical green puppy eyes as her brother, but there was both captivation and sorrow behind them. She held her own hands delicately without muttering a single word, like a criminal expecting her faith to be sealed by the judge's decision. She was aware of everything.
"What happens if I say no?" - I asked in a low shaky voice, feeling a tear plop from my right eye, gulping on my own words.
"You leave this place, forever, and move on with your life the best way you can." - Ben responded coldly, which was the equivalent of a death sentence.
"And if I say yes?" - I could barely speak, feeling the single tear I was holding within me dripping down my cheek.
"You'll get what you want, the rest will unfold itself naturally." - he elaborated, leaving me puzzled and burdened. What does he mean 'the rest'? What am I bargaining with here? "Your answer, Noah." - he added, more sternly now. Yes, I want to be with him more than anything, but what price do I pay in return? What's in this godforsaken letter? How will they take care of Malory with no stable income? Is Jamie's career on the line too? What will the media have to say of all this? "NOW!" - Benjamin yelled, startling both of us in the process.
"Yes." - I nodded, signing a contract whose terms and conditions I was unaware of, but whose ultimate reward was all I asked for ever since we met.
"I see..." - he uttered quietly, as if he was making internal calculations or predictions of the upcoming events. "Very well then, you know what to do now." - he added calmly before entering the tent, as if the matter was finally over instead of the complete opposite.
"Promise me you'll take good care of my brother." - the ginger girl broke her silence with blurry eyes and the same frightening look I was presented with last night. "He means the world to me, and if you ever..." - she tried warning me, but was unable to do so without the overwhelming emotions intervening first.
"I promise, Mal." - I looked her straight in the eyes, true to my words this time.
"Alright then." - she inhaled deeply, wiping off the tears with her wrist. "Take care Noah. He's a keeper." - she stated the obvious before joining the guests inside, leaving me with the strangest gut feeling ever. The way she uttered her words...almost like it was our last conversation. It couldn't possibly be, right? What the fuck did I just get myself into?
The atmosphere at the venue turned livelier now that all the guests had numerous drinks each. The purple lights, sparkly chandelier and long ballgowns added to the fairy tale scenery, with flowering vines surrounding the white pillars. The guests were on their feet now that a traditional Irish folk song was playing, holding hands in a wide circle while step dancing. I quickly noticed El and Leo amongst them, trying their best to replicate the moves. Thankfully, they had a practice round last night at the pub, and Elektra was already getting the hang of it. Leo was having troubles focusing on the footwork, switching glances between her heels and pretty face. Well, at least something good came out of this trip.
Malory approached her brother with a bright smile, whose shirt was already ripped open by the godfather and whose suspenders were hanging loose. Upon seeing her, he broke from the circle instantly and picked her up from her chair enthusiastically, spinning her round and round, spreading laughter and joy throughout the venue. For the first time today, a genuine smile was stretched across her innocent freckled face. She hugged him tightly, placing her forehead against his broad shoulders, and she remained frozen like that for a while, even when he stopped spinning. Once he moved the hair strands covering her face, a set of saturated green eyes were revealed. Their last moment together, all for my selfish desire. The way his face was glowing with bliss, but little did he know it was a farewell hug, rather than a form of acceptance for their marriage. Their parents observed them merrily from their seats, particularly Mrs. O'Dea who looked especially relieved to see the siblings bond after the church incident. Mr. Benjamin smoked his cigar in silence while watching them blankly, lost in thought.
Suddenly, his gaze shifted towards me, noticing someone behind me. I turned around only to see Valentina coming out of the hallway, donned in a traditional red and black flamenco dress, proudly clicking her Louboutin red bottom high heels against the floor as hundreds of envious eyes admired her. Cheers and whistles overcame the loudspeakers instantly, and she loved every second of it, waving and sending kisses to all the guests. Congratulations! Your dad's rich, we get it. Can we move on now? Her friends gathered in the middle of the dance floor, pulling her between them to show off her dance moves, curvy figure and perfectly lean legs. Ben's gaze stuck to mine, however, nodding his head towards the hallway, and I knew exactly what he wanted me to do. Time to get the job done.
Making sure the coast is clear, I sneaked inside the hallway, double checking if the bathrooms were empty. For the first time today, I was glad Valentina got everyone's attention, making the whole process less stressful for me. My beating heart, heavy breathing and sweaty palms suggested otherwise. Thankfully, she also forgot to lock the door behind her. Upon entering, I was introduced with massive piles of clothes dispersed against the chairs and sofas. A huge white vanity mirror covered most of the opposing wall with over-the-top lighting and makeup kits scattered all across the table. A heart was drawn with red lipstick across its clean surface, with a matching kiss planted below it. Narcissist much? On the left side, I noticed Valentina's previous garments, including her stunning wedding dress and the now-ripped chiffon gown, as well as some additional ones hung on a rack, probably worth more than I'll ever make in a lifetime. Unwilling to spend a second longer inside her private hoarding room, I pushed the beauty products to the side and placed the letter in front of the fluffy pink high back chair. My eyes met my reflection in the mirror.
"How the hell did I get myself into this mess?" - I sighed, observing my tired features.
"Consciously." - my subconscious couldn't help but comment, and a smile spread across my face instantly.
"Guess a normal life was never an option." - I turned the rouge lipstick and drew an X over her stupid heart. I tucked my white shirt neatly inside my pants, unbuttoned the top, and readjusted my hair. "Plus, I'm kinda living for the drama." - I threw the lipstick behind me as I shut the door with a loud bang.