Project Heart - Chapter 32: Chapter 32

"So..." Banhi twirled a strand of hair between her fingers, "what are we going to do now?"
Junak pulled his legs closer to his chest and dropped his chin on his knees. His grandfather's warm shawl was wrapped around him like a blanket.
"I don't know," Niribili said from where she sat beside Banhi, her head resting on Banhi's shoulder. She looked tired, which was understandable after the day's events. "Gagori texted me saying she's out. So are her friends, which means we have no backup dancers and no choreography."
Junak's heart sunk lower, into the guilt swirling at the pit of his stomach.
"Shit," Prapti added helpfully. She and Megha were sitting on bamboo chairs opposite Junak. Between them and Banhi sat Puhor, legs propped up on a stool as he played some game on his phone.
A fire crackled at the centre of their circle. It was Grandma's idea to boost morale by having a nice evening near the fire. So far, morale had been boosted from zero to zero.
"Yeah, shit," Niribili muttered. Banhi threw an arm around her and pulled her closer to her side. Junak's heart ached a little. "We're fucked."
"What are you ladies talking about?" Puhor asked without looking up from his phone.
Junak did not acknowledge his question. Neither did Niribili and Banhi. Though no one had explicitly said anything, the guilt weighed heavily on Junak. He was the reason they were in this mess – well, he and Puhor were the reason they were in this mess, but the latter seemed the least bothered by it.
Megha was the one who answered. "The film we're supposed to shoot. We don't have the people anymore."
Puhor frowned. "Hire actors then. Aren't they always desperately looking for work? No offence," he added to Megha and Prapti who clearly looked offended.
"It's not an option," Banhi said quietly. "We've discussed it, it won't work."
Puhor lowered his phone then and glanced at the dejected people all around him. When his eyes landed on Junak, curled up on a chair, all pathetic and miserable, his expression softened with pity. "Maybe I can help? Make some calls? I know a lot of people – what?" he added when Junak shot him a glare. "I want to help."
Haven't you helped enough, Junak wanted to snap but he was... tired. All of it was anyway his fault, to begin with, not his brother's.
"Help with what?" Priti said, walking into the circle with a tray of cups. Trailing after her, was her daughter, Asha, and Junak's grandmother. "You all look so glum. You need to cheer up," she said, handing out the tea and pitha to everyone.
Junak cradled a cup in both hands and stared down at the light brown liquid. It reminded him of the tea Dikhou used to make –
No. He needed to get over him, and this line of thinking would not help.
"Priti is right." Grandma took a seat near the fire, next to Junak. Asha sat on a stool in front of her. "We can't keep dwelling on the past."
Except, Junak could. It was all he ever did. The past made him him and, with his record of fucking things up, it made him an absolute fuck-up.
It was good Dikhou left before he could see that side of Junak.
"Aiyo, kids, come on. It's not the end of the world."
Niribili mustered a small smile. "Thanks, aita."
"No, I mean it. How will you live if you give up every time someone says a few harsh words, huh?" Grandma realised Banhi did not understand so she said, in rusty Hindi, "Haar maat mano." Don't give up.
Banhi beamed. Even Niribili had an honest smile this time as she turned to look at Junak. He wasn't sure what she saw in him – her broken, pathetic, weak as fuck friend who was more of a burden than anything? Yet, when she spoke, it was like she was talking to a Junak who had his shit together. "We'll have to alter the script, but... do you think we can still do it?"
She asked him. Him. He, who had created this utter mess. He, who had dragged his friends here, then completely disregarded their work to chase after a whimsical romance with their lead musician. He, who had yelled at Niribili when she tried to talk sense into him. He, who did not deserve their kindness.
"Come on, Jun," Banhi added.
"I don't–" He had to clear his throat to steady his voice. "How?"
Niribili sat upright, her hair falling like a curtain behind her. "Let's do a damage check."
Lovely.
"We don't have dancers but we've still got Megha and Prapti," Niribili pointed at the two women who dipped their heads in acknowledgement.
"Who don't know how to dance Bihu," Junak pointed out.
Niribili bit her lower lip. "We need someone to teach them Bihu but–"
"Did you say teach Bihu?" Priti asked from where she sat on a low stool beside Grandma.
Niribili nodded.
"You mean, the general dance that we do?"
"Um. Yeah..."
Priti blinked at them, then laughed. "Bor-ma, they're having such a serious discussion over needing someone to teach them Bihu," she told Junak's grandmother who incredulously shook her head.
Junak frowned, as did his friends.
"Why, I can teach you!" Priti said.
Niribili lit up with excitement. "Really?"
"I'm offended you look so surprised. Back in my day, I was the best dancer around. Tell them, bor-ma."
"Oh yes," Grandma nodded enthusiastically.
"And," Priti smirked and rested a hand on the old woman's knee, "if you need women to dance Bihu, you can ask your aita too."
"Aiyo!" Grandma tried to hide behind her teacup, grinning and blushing.
Junak's jaw fell open. His brother chuckled.
"What are you laughing at, young man?" Priti challenged. "Ask your aita. I've heard stories about how all the men fell swooning at her feet."
Everyone let out a choked noise of approval. Niribili smiled behind her hands and translated it for Banhi who whooped and said, "Go, aita."
Grandma playfully hit Priti on the head but did not deny her claim.
"What about koka?" Megha asked, sitting back comfortably on the chair. "How'd you meet him?"
For a moment, Junak thought his grandmother would not answer – it was unconventional for elders to talk about their youthful romances. So when Grandma waved a hand and started speaking, Junak was pleasantly surprised. "It's not as exciting as you kids think."
"No," Puhor insisted, all wide eyes and leaning forward on his seat like a dog. "Tell us."
So there, under a starlit sky, sitting around a bonfire, Grandma spoke of her family and how she came to be married to Grandpa. Her parents came from humble backgrounds and back then, girls were not encouraged to study so they married her off when she was nineteen. Grandpa was twenty-seven then and a newly appointed civil servant. Which basically meant he was a catch.
"At first, I was sceptical," Grandma said in a hushed voice, "because he did not talk much and... wasn't very good-looking either, if I'm being honest." A chuckle went around the fire. "But he is a good, honest man who treats me with respect. I don't even know when I, as you kids say, fell in love with him but yeah. I can't imagine living my life with anyone else."
Everyone had a warm smile on their lips, including Junak.
"He's my best friend. And my companion for life."
The women aww-ed. Puhor did too.
Junak felt a strange tug at his heart.
Grandma dabbed her eyes on her sador. "I... I can't bear the thought of losing him."
Niribili came to her and pulled her into an embrace. "He will be fine, aita. He'll be back in no time."
Grandma sniffed and gently pulled out of her hug. "Anyway, enough about me. You kids need to work on your film."
Niribili sucked in a deep breath and looked at Junak. He understood her unasked question and nodded. It was time. It was something they needed to do.
So Niribili told aita, in simple, uncomplicated words, how they were making a Bihu song on a lesbian couple.
Grandma did not seem angry or repulsed. She smiled and patted Niribili's arm. "Make sure to send it to my daughter, she'll love it." By that, she meant Junak's lesbian aunt, who, as Junak found out within a few days of being in the village, no one knew was married to a woman. People just assumed her to be working abroad and Junak's grandparents did not correct them; he now understood why.
"You're not... upset?" Junak found himself asking.
"Aiyo, why will I be upset? You're making a song about love, not about killing someone." Junak couldn't stop the sigh of relief from escaping his lips. "Though I am upset about what you said about Dikhou today."
Junak's smile was slapped off his face.
His grandmother waved a hand dismissively. "I know you were lying but you need to go apologise to him."
"What?" Junak gaped. "How did you know I was..."
Grandma shot him a look that could loosely be translated to are you fucking kidding me? "I've seen the two of you together; I know how much you like him."
Holy shit. Was he that obvious?
"And you said so yourself that you're like Niyor. If there's one thing I know about my son, it's how he hasn't got a single mean bone in his body. It's in your blood, to pretend to be a villain. I don't understand why you–"
Before he could think about it, Junak launched to his feet and went and hugged his grandmother. It was ridiculous. It was unbelievable, hearing her say that, so casually yet with so much certainty. Junak thought his grandmother was never going to forgive him but turned out, she was already one step ahead of him.
His head felt dizzy with the realisation of how much he loved her.
His grandmother held him close, stroking his hair. "Does this mean I'm right?"
He nodded into her shoulder.
"Is this another group hug?" Puhor asked.
Junak freed a hand and flipped him off.
"You can't show me the finger in front of aita!"
"Aiyo, stop fighting you two." Grandma chuckled. "And go discuss your movie." She lightly shoved Junak and Niribili away from her.
They kept sitting on the bench beside her as their eyes locked in a non-verbal conversation.
I have an idea, Niribili's face read.
Go on, Junak answered with his eyes.
She smiled. "Priti-ba, will you be able to choreograph a dance for us?'
Priti nodded. "I thought you'd never ask."
Junak felt guilty that they did, indeed, never consider her before.
"Okay." Niribili bit her nail. "We still need dancers, though."
"I can dance!" Asha raised her hand.
"O-M-G, yes!" Banhi cried. "I love it. Let's do a before-after thing. Asha can be the younger version of Megha."
Junak frowned. "We'll need another girl for Prapti then."
"I'll ask Pakhi," Asha squealed. She was nearly jumping. "It's our dream to be in a movie! Please, please, please. We won't disappoint you."
Junak smiled, his muscles straining under the gesture. "Okay. But," he turned to his grandmother, "will Pakhi's mother allow?"
"Leave it to me, I'll talk to her. She'll listen."
"Great!" Niribili clapped her hands. "What else do we need?"
"It would depend on the new script," Banhi said, "but we do need a guy."
All eyes turned to Puhor who was eating a pitha. He blinked. "What?"
Banhi smirked at him. "Will you act, and dance a little, in our film?"
He nearly fell off the chair. "What? No! I can't – no!"
"Come on, it won't be hard."
"You'll get to wear a sexy dhuti," Prapti added, wriggling her eyebrows.
Junak nearly choked on his laugh.
"When has a dhuti ever been sexy?" Puhor cried.
"Stop saying the s-word in front of Asha!" Megha added.
Junak was laughing, a hearty sound that loosened something in his chest. "Come on, Puhor-da. You'll get to openly flirt with women."
Puhor glared at him and folded his hands over his chest. "I'll have you know that I have a girlfriend."
Junak was momentarily surprised he did not know his brother had a girlfriend, then recovered when he remembered how this was the most they had interacted in a long time. And though Junak would never say it out loud, his brother... wasn't too bad.
"Oooh, who is she?" Banhi asked.
And then Puhor did the thing that Junak always did. He pouted. "Just somebody."
"No, tell us." Banhi led a cheer of 'tell us, tell us' until Puhor cried "Alright."
Junak leaned forward on his knees, almost involuntarily.
Puhor fidgeted with his hands. "She was my professor," he said, quickly and in English.
Junak's jaw was on the floor, so were his friends'.
"Oh my god." Megha giggled.
"She's only a few years older than me."
"Oh my god!" This was Junak.
Puhor glared at him. "You can't judge me."
"Oh my god," Junak repeated, laughing. "Why will a professor, who by virtue of her profession is smart, date you?"
Everyone laughed as Puhor gaped at his younger brother.
"Did you hear this, aita?" Junak turned to his grandmother, smiling like a maniac because goddamn, he did feel a little drunk on this unexpected bout of happiness.
"Motherfucker, don't tell aita!"
"Dude, you're dating your professor. I'm gonna tell everyone."
"Was," Puhor cried. "Was my professor. She's just five years older than me, it's not a big deal. Isn't Dikhou older than you–" Puhor broke off but it was too late.
The name fell heavy on them, on Junak, and all mirth died down. The familiar hollow ache returned.
Everyone was silent for a while, until Niribili said, "Okay, then. Puhor will play our guy –" This time he did not protest. "–and we just need someone to play the younger version of him."
"Lohor can do it," Asha piped in, her arm raised and pointed to her right.
Everyone followed her gaze to find... Lohor sitting there on a low stool. He sat away from the fire, so that he was bathed in the dark. There was a large biscuit container between his knees and one of his arms was buried in it, till the elbow.
He raised the other hand when he felt their eyes on him. "Hi."
"What are you doing here?" Junak cried.
Lohor shrugged. "Spying for Dikhou-da."
The scary thing was, Junak could not tell if he was joking.
"Aiyo, come near the fire, you'll be cold," Grandma said. "And how long have you been sitting there?"
He dutifully pulled his seat closer to the fire, into the circle. Instead of answering Grandma's question, he said, "I heard your discussion. I'll do your film. If you buy me biscuits." He directed the last bit at Junak.
Something about that kid unsettled him. Junak had anticipated Lohor to hate him for his harsh words against Dikhou but there was no distaste in Lohor's gaze. Instead, he was squinting at Junak like... like he knew. The actual truth. Which was impossible.
Right?
"That's all sorted then." Niribili beamed. "Aita, will you be playing aita in the film?"
"Do you even need to ask? Careful girls," she turned to Megha and Prapti, "I'll steal the show."
They giggled.
Niribili turned to Junak and held out a hand. He took it on impulse, her skin soft and a little cold under his. She squeezed his fingers and said, "We'll need to alter the script but we can do this."
He swallowed the sodden mess of uncertain, heavy feelings ruthlessly suffocating his insides and nodded.
As if sensing his inner turmoil, she added, "We've got you, Jun. Always."
In that moment, with all those people around him, believing her came easily and naturally. "Thank you."