Protect Me, Alpha King - Chapter 184: Chapter 184
You are reading Protect Me, Alpha King, Chapter 184: Chapter 184. Read more chapters of Protect Me, Alpha King.
Forgiven...at Last
I was about to laugh at him when I realized Maxxwell was truly scared. His body shivered.
I turned serious. I loathed this man still, but why did I want to consider his feelings? Why did it feel like laughing at him made me a bitch? "Hey. Nothing happened, Maxxwell."
He shivered against my body and hugged me even tighter as if letting me go would make me disappear from his sight.
"Are you okay?"
"Zenith had already died on me. I could not accept it if you and my son would follow. I cannot fathom any more deaths."""
Maxxwell shook uncontrollably.
Zenith.
I broke away from him, and he looked me in the eyes. I was searching for something. But what?
"Do you still love her?"
He smiled sadly. "With all my heart. She continued to occupy a part of my heart." He swallowed repeatedly and lowered his gaze. "I'm sorry, River. But Zenith will always have a space in my heart. We've been together a lot. I thought she loved me for real. And even if she betrayed me, I continued loving her. I'm sorry."
He looked away and could no longer look me in the eyes.
Lifting his chin, I murmured, "Are you guilty about her death?" He turned away, but I forced him to look me in the eyes. "Why don't we become honest for once, Maxxwell?"
Maxxwell rubbed the heel of his palm to his chest.
"You don't know the nightmares I had been dealing with every single night. I was afraid to sleep every fucking night for fear that I would dream about her death. You were right. I killed her. I was the worst mate of all. I don't deserve to live. If not because of you and Quinn, I would be long dead by now." His voice cracked at the end as his tears softly flowed like waterfalls.
Every tear was like tiny droplets of daggers stabbed into my chest. Seeing him vulnerable like this made me feel humble and happy at the same time. The alpha king trusted me this much that he was willing to show this side of himself.
My heart tightened.
'Hug him, River,' Sunflower suddenly said in the background, teary-eyed. 'He is pitiful. Seeing him crying like this made me want to hug him.'
She sniffed.
Maxxwell finally broke into silent tears. Without realizing it, I was crying with him.
As I broke down, I recalled Zenith and my parents, whom I did not meet. I remembered my life back at my previous pack and all the painful experiences, which made me break down even more. "Shhh. My Queen. Please stop." He softly patted my back and whispered nothing but sweet words.
I cracked up between sobs, looking like a mad woman. "Y-you did not kill her," I muttered between sobs. I breathed deeply. "You did not, Maxxwell."
My eyes were puffy, and my nose was like a rotten tomato. I looked funny right now, and I was thankful Maxxwell did not laugh at me.
"My Queen. Please don't cry. It's not good for the baby."
I knew, but my tears would not stop falling.
"Oh, Goddess," the alpha king muttered and motioned for me into the bed. Still crying, I went after him and continued bawling my eyes out. I finally had let this out after so many months of stopping myself from crying even further. To show me that I was still in control. To show that I was strong even if I was not for the sake of proving something.
However, I realized it was okay to break down sometimes.
"I-It's all my fault. Forgive me, River. If the two of you were not paired with me, Zenith would still be alive for now."
That might be true. Or it might now.
Still...one thing was for sure. "I miss her." Oh, gods. I fucking missed my sister and the family I would never have. "She would be a great aunt for Quinn." 1
"I'm sure she will."
The alpha king let out a long sigh while continuing to rock my body with a slow motion.
Why wouldn't my stupid tears stop falling?
"I'm sorry, River. I'm sorry for killing her. That time, I was hurt by her betrayal. She was the last person I thought would betray me. I was a fool for not believing in you. If I had listened to you...If I did, I could stop her."
My chest was heavy and hurting. Breathing was becoming more complex.
I admit we never had a proper encounter or conversation, but still...she was my sister. I love her. I wanted to spend more time with her. I did not even visit her tomb.
"It's not your fault, okay?" I scolded. Angrily, I wiped the tears from my eyes. "It is not your fault. I was a bitch that time when I continued putting the blame on you. Zenith had chosen her side even though it was not the right one."
"It was my fault," the alpha king murmured, kissing all my tears away.
I gasped at the gesture. It chases away my pain.
I looked up at him. Maxxwell's expression softened. "D-Did you burn her body?"
I had no plans to ask him, afraid he would say the worst.
Preparing for the bad news, I closed my eyes and waited for his answer. "I was glad I did not."
I released the sigh that I was holding earlier. "Really?"
Oh, no. You are not going to cry again, the other part of my mind said.
"Yes. I was about to tell them to burn her body, but the beta and delta suggested not to. Plus, your friend, Luna Dawn, will not allow me. In the end, they buried Zenith's body in the flower garden where she wanted to rest before."
"Did you go there?"
He looked down. "I-I did not."
"Why?"
"I couldn't do it in the past. It pained me to see her in her tomb. Alone. Or maybe I was waiting for you to return her so we would visit her together."
I smiled despite the sadness. "We will visit her tomorrow."
Imprisoning both of my cheeks with his hand, he said, "We will."
Softly, the alpha king brushed the remaining remnants of tears away in the most tender manner. Instantly, it melted all my worries away.
"I love you."
My eyes widened as I forgot how to breathe. "I know it is sudden, but I don't know what the future holds. I don't want to regret it anymore." "Y-you love me?" I asked, confused.
"With all my heart. I love you and Quinn. I promise to protect the two of you all my life."
"But he is not your child."
Suddenly, his eyes narrowed at me. "He is my child. Stop lying, will you? But...is he really mine or not? I would accept it if he were not mine. I will treat him as my own."
"Of course, he is yours. I vow that Quinn is yours, silly."
The alpha king smiled from ear to ear and kissed me on my mouth. His mouth was smooth against mine. It tasted like cherries.
I was about to kiss him back, but to my dismay, he pulled away.
Smiling, he said, "You made me happy right now, my Queen. I love you." Seeing the look on my face, he said, "Hey. Did I do something wrong?"
"Kiss me again," I demanded.
"Y-you want me to kiss you again?"
"Why are you surprised? You kissed me a while ago. Did you suddenly hit your head now and realize I am disgusting because I am now fat?"
Maxxwell chuckled. "Even if you become the fattest woman alive, I would still love your body. I will love your curves and everything about you. Physical imperfections do not matter to me. I love you."
I pouted. "You are only saying that because you want something from me. You want to have sex. But after that, after I gave birth to Quinn, you will toss me aside because my body won't return to my normal weight."
As much as I hated to admit it, a certain part of me was scared that it would happen. My insecurities were killing me, especially if I continued on seeing Nora, who had a good job of shoving all my insecurities right in front of me.
Maxxwell chuckled once again. I slapped his stomach. "Good for you that you are having a great time."
His expression suddenly turned serious. "Do you really believe I did not kill your sister? Am I already forgiven?"
He was looking at me with the most tender expression I saw in his eyes, and how could I see no? "Yes. I forgive you, and I no longer blame you for her death." Grabbing his big hands and imprisoning them into mine, I muttered, "I want us to start over, Maxxwell-this time, with Quinn. Let's leave our painful past behind, but let's not forget about it so that we can still learn something from it. What happened during the Proclamation Ceremony and after that was something we could not easily forget."
Maxxwell nodded. "We will start over, my Queen. I will serve the two of you to the best of my abilities."
"And we will visit my sister tomorrow."
He nodded. "Whatever you want, I will be with you."
We stared into each other's eyes, and I could say now I no longer felt any hatred towards him. The pain of losing my sister was still there, but at least we were moving forward. For the sake of our son. No more hard feelings for this man because of the past.
I forgive Maxxwell.
I forgave myself.
"But don't think I have forgotten what you did earlier. You nearly gave me a heart attack when I saw you standing at the foot of the entrance, my Queen. Please don't do it again, please? If you want to go somewhere, bring me with you or the beta and the delta."
"I was not alone earlier. I was with Delta Isagani. That is what you want, right?"
"You should stay in your room," he demanded.
I did not understand him anymore. "Yeah, yeah."
"How about our agreement?"
"Agreement?"
"Will you still leave after a year?"
Maxxwell was not that bad. He was giving his best to redeem himself. To prove his worth. I would be heartless if I did not give him any chance.
I acted as if I was thinking.
"It depends on your performance and attitude, Maxxwell. If you continue to be a good boy, I might change my mind."
"I'm not kidding, River. I want us to be complete. Always. So, will you still leave me?"
The image of the three of us flashed in my mind, warming my heart. I want that one.
"It will be null and void."
He beamed.
"Not so fast, Maxxwell. But...if you impregnated someone other than me, we are through, okay?" I announced.
He turned serious. "I never touched anyone after you were gone."
"Okay."
"And please do not do it again. Leaving without my approval."
I rolled my eyes at him. "Come on, Maxxwell. Do not ruin the mood by spoiling the fun."
He cleared his throat. "Fine. But do not make me worry again. We still have not caught the culprit, okay? There might be others there." "Fine. Fine." I pulled his collar towards me. "Why don't you shut up and kiss me?"
"But it is "
I threw him an irritated look, and before he could finish his sentence, I owned his mouth and showed him how much I missed his kisses.
I was about to laugh at him when I realized Maxxwell was truly scared. His body shivered.
I turned serious. I loathed this man still, but why did I want to consider his feelings? Why did it feel like laughing at him made me a bitch? "Hey. Nothing happened, Maxxwell."
He shivered against my body and hugged me even tighter as if letting me go would make me disappear from his sight.
"Are you okay?"
"Zenith had already died on me. I could not accept it if you and my son would follow. I cannot fathom any more deaths."""
Maxxwell shook uncontrollably.
Zenith.
I broke away from him, and he looked me in the eyes. I was searching for something. But what?
"Do you still love her?"
He smiled sadly. "With all my heart. She continued to occupy a part of my heart." He swallowed repeatedly and lowered his gaze. "I'm sorry, River. But Zenith will always have a space in my heart. We've been together a lot. I thought she loved me for real. And even if she betrayed me, I continued loving her. I'm sorry."
He looked away and could no longer look me in the eyes.
Lifting his chin, I murmured, "Are you guilty about her death?" He turned away, but I forced him to look me in the eyes. "Why don't we become honest for once, Maxxwell?"
Maxxwell rubbed the heel of his palm to his chest.
"You don't know the nightmares I had been dealing with every single night. I was afraid to sleep every fucking night for fear that I would dream about her death. You were right. I killed her. I was the worst mate of all. I don't deserve to live. If not because of you and Quinn, I would be long dead by now." His voice cracked at the end as his tears softly flowed like waterfalls.
Every tear was like tiny droplets of daggers stabbed into my chest. Seeing him vulnerable like this made me feel humble and happy at the same time. The alpha king trusted me this much that he was willing to show this side of himself.
My heart tightened.
'Hug him, River,' Sunflower suddenly said in the background, teary-eyed. 'He is pitiful. Seeing him crying like this made me want to hug him.'
She sniffed.
Maxxwell finally broke into silent tears. Without realizing it, I was crying with him.
As I broke down, I recalled Zenith and my parents, whom I did not meet. I remembered my life back at my previous pack and all the painful experiences, which made me break down even more. "Shhh. My Queen. Please stop." He softly patted my back and whispered nothing but sweet words.
I cracked up between sobs, looking like a mad woman. "Y-you did not kill her," I muttered between sobs. I breathed deeply. "You did not, Maxxwell."
My eyes were puffy, and my nose was like a rotten tomato. I looked funny right now, and I was thankful Maxxwell did not laugh at me.
"My Queen. Please don't cry. It's not good for the baby."
I knew, but my tears would not stop falling.
"Oh, Goddess," the alpha king muttered and motioned for me into the bed. Still crying, I went after him and continued bawling my eyes out. I finally had let this out after so many months of stopping myself from crying even further. To show me that I was still in control. To show that I was strong even if I was not for the sake of proving something.
However, I realized it was okay to break down sometimes.
"I-It's all my fault. Forgive me, River. If the two of you were not paired with me, Zenith would still be alive for now."
That might be true. Or it might now.
Still...one thing was for sure. "I miss her." Oh, gods. I fucking missed my sister and the family I would never have. "She would be a great aunt for Quinn." 1
"I'm sure she will."
The alpha king let out a long sigh while continuing to rock my body with a slow motion.
Why wouldn't my stupid tears stop falling?
"I'm sorry, River. I'm sorry for killing her. That time, I was hurt by her betrayal. She was the last person I thought would betray me. I was a fool for not believing in you. If I had listened to you...If I did, I could stop her."
My chest was heavy and hurting. Breathing was becoming more complex.
I admit we never had a proper encounter or conversation, but still...she was my sister. I love her. I wanted to spend more time with her. I did not even visit her tomb.
"It's not your fault, okay?" I scolded. Angrily, I wiped the tears from my eyes. "It is not your fault. I was a bitch that time when I continued putting the blame on you. Zenith had chosen her side even though it was not the right one."
"It was my fault," the alpha king murmured, kissing all my tears away.
I gasped at the gesture. It chases away my pain.
I looked up at him. Maxxwell's expression softened. "D-Did you burn her body?"
I had no plans to ask him, afraid he would say the worst.
Preparing for the bad news, I closed my eyes and waited for his answer. "I was glad I did not."
I released the sigh that I was holding earlier. "Really?"
Oh, no. You are not going to cry again, the other part of my mind said.
"Yes. I was about to tell them to burn her body, but the beta and delta suggested not to. Plus, your friend, Luna Dawn, will not allow me. In the end, they buried Zenith's body in the flower garden where she wanted to rest before."
"Did you go there?"
He looked down. "I-I did not."
"Why?"
"I couldn't do it in the past. It pained me to see her in her tomb. Alone. Or maybe I was waiting for you to return her so we would visit her together."
I smiled despite the sadness. "We will visit her tomorrow."
Imprisoning both of my cheeks with his hand, he said, "We will."
Softly, the alpha king brushed the remaining remnants of tears away in the most tender manner. Instantly, it melted all my worries away.
"I love you."
My eyes widened as I forgot how to breathe. "I know it is sudden, but I don't know what the future holds. I don't want to regret it anymore." "Y-you love me?" I asked, confused.
"With all my heart. I love you and Quinn. I promise to protect the two of you all my life."
"But he is not your child."
Suddenly, his eyes narrowed at me. "He is my child. Stop lying, will you? But...is he really mine or not? I would accept it if he were not mine. I will treat him as my own."
"Of course, he is yours. I vow that Quinn is yours, silly."
The alpha king smiled from ear to ear and kissed me on my mouth. His mouth was smooth against mine. It tasted like cherries.
I was about to kiss him back, but to my dismay, he pulled away.
Smiling, he said, "You made me happy right now, my Queen. I love you." Seeing the look on my face, he said, "Hey. Did I do something wrong?"
"Kiss me again," I demanded.
"Y-you want me to kiss you again?"
"Why are you surprised? You kissed me a while ago. Did you suddenly hit your head now and realize I am disgusting because I am now fat?"
Maxxwell chuckled. "Even if you become the fattest woman alive, I would still love your body. I will love your curves and everything about you. Physical imperfections do not matter to me. I love you."
I pouted. "You are only saying that because you want something from me. You want to have sex. But after that, after I gave birth to Quinn, you will toss me aside because my body won't return to my normal weight."
As much as I hated to admit it, a certain part of me was scared that it would happen. My insecurities were killing me, especially if I continued on seeing Nora, who had a good job of shoving all my insecurities right in front of me.
Maxxwell chuckled once again. I slapped his stomach. "Good for you that you are having a great time."
His expression suddenly turned serious. "Do you really believe I did not kill your sister? Am I already forgiven?"
He was looking at me with the most tender expression I saw in his eyes, and how could I see no? "Yes. I forgive you, and I no longer blame you for her death." Grabbing his big hands and imprisoning them into mine, I muttered, "I want us to start over, Maxxwell-this time, with Quinn. Let's leave our painful past behind, but let's not forget about it so that we can still learn something from it. What happened during the Proclamation Ceremony and after that was something we could not easily forget."
Maxxwell nodded. "We will start over, my Queen. I will serve the two of you to the best of my abilities."
"And we will visit my sister tomorrow."
He nodded. "Whatever you want, I will be with you."
We stared into each other's eyes, and I could say now I no longer felt any hatred towards him. The pain of losing my sister was still there, but at least we were moving forward. For the sake of our son. No more hard feelings for this man because of the past.
I forgive Maxxwell.
I forgave myself.
"But don't think I have forgotten what you did earlier. You nearly gave me a heart attack when I saw you standing at the foot of the entrance, my Queen. Please don't do it again, please? If you want to go somewhere, bring me with you or the beta and the delta."
"I was not alone earlier. I was with Delta Isagani. That is what you want, right?"
"You should stay in your room," he demanded.
I did not understand him anymore. "Yeah, yeah."
"How about our agreement?"
"Agreement?"
"Will you still leave after a year?"
Maxxwell was not that bad. He was giving his best to redeem himself. To prove his worth. I would be heartless if I did not give him any chance.
I acted as if I was thinking.
"It depends on your performance and attitude, Maxxwell. If you continue to be a good boy, I might change my mind."
"I'm not kidding, River. I want us to be complete. Always. So, will you still leave me?"
The image of the three of us flashed in my mind, warming my heart. I want that one.
"It will be null and void."
He beamed.
"Not so fast, Maxxwell. But...if you impregnated someone other than me, we are through, okay?" I announced.
He turned serious. "I never touched anyone after you were gone."
"Okay."
"And please do not do it again. Leaving without my approval."
I rolled my eyes at him. "Come on, Maxxwell. Do not ruin the mood by spoiling the fun."
He cleared his throat. "Fine. But do not make me worry again. We still have not caught the culprit, okay? There might be others there." "Fine. Fine." I pulled his collar towards me. "Why don't you shut up and kiss me?"
"But it is "
I threw him an irritated look, and before he could finish his sentence, I owned his mouth and showed him how much I missed his kisses.
End of Protect Me, Alpha King Chapter 184. Continue reading Chapter 185 or return to Protect Me, Alpha King book page.