Rejecting The Alpha Twins - Chapter 185: Chapter 185
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Fiona POV
I made it to the bathroom just in time, throwing up my stomach contents yet again. I wiped the sweat off my brow and began to wash my face, only to turn and see my mother standing in the doorway, a strange expression on her face. I gave her a nervous look, hoping she hadn't heard me, but it was clear she had, for there was also an indecipherable look in her eyes. I frowned, wondering how long she had been standing there for.
“How long have you been pregnant for?” she asked, and I almost laughed out loud at the question, my anxiety beginning to skyrocket.
She had to be wrong. It wasn't possible. Right? I almost gave her a pleading look and then sighed and shook my head at her.
“I’m not pregnant, just sick,” I dismissed her, hoping it was the truth. Now was not the right time. It never felt as though it would be the right time. Not with all the pack business I was currently dealing with alongside Liam.
She frowned. “You can’t fool me, Fiona. I had these exact symptoms when I was pregnant with Celeste. You’re throwing up, yes?” she asked.
Just because I was throwing up didn't mean anything, I thought inwardly to myself. After all, it was also a sign of sickness.
“So? That doesn’t mean I’m pregnant. I’m just stressed,” I told her honestly.
Stressed was an understatement. I felt frazzled at the moment and barely had time to eat meals, let alone have time to myself.
I mean, who wouldn’t be trying to merge two large packs together? With the amount of workload I had taken on, I was barely sleeping, barely eating, and even losing weight. I would be glad when this was all over. Maybe then things might return to normal and a slower pace. I might be able to breathe again. We would be able to spend more quality time together instead of spending few moments here and there together.
“You’re pregnant,” my mother countered, folding her arms across her chest and viewing me smugly.
She looked as though she had all the answers. She was experienced in pregnancy, but in this case, I was certain she had to be wrong. I refused to believe her.
I shook my head and laughed. “I would know, wouldn’t I? It’s not as if my wolf would keep it from me.”
Although now that I had thought about it, my wolf had been strangely quiet the last few days, and I hadn't heard from her at all. She wouldn't do that to me, would she? Did she think I was in denial or being foolish? The truth was I was being both.
“She might be keeping it a surprise,” my mother shrugged unfazed “or maybe she thinks you might already know. I mean, you are carrying a pup, the evidence is blatantly obvious if you consider it. One,” she held up her fingers, beginning to tick them off, “you’re throwing up and nauseas, I’m betting all the time too,” she added with narrowed eyes as I opened my mouth to protest, “two, you are losing weight. I bet you either have no appetite or everything you’re trying to eat either turns your stomach or smells funny to you.”
I almost gaped at her. She wasn’t finished yet. “Three, your breasts are tender and sore, aren’t they?” she asked knowingly.
So, your Breasts got sore when you were due for your period. But my mind was already starting to divulge her words, my stomach beginning to churn. I was beginning to feel apprehensive now.
“Doesn’t mean I’m not sick,” I countered, not wanting to believe it.
It just couldn't be. I and Liam had been careful. Well, except for when....I almost gasped. Except for when we had gone through my heat and then, I hated to admit, a few times after that. So it was entirely possible that I could be pregnant right now. Unconsciously, I placed a hand on my stomach, wondering.
It wasn’t the right time to have a child. Not with everything going on. I didn’t even know if Liam wanted children. We had never had the discussion, although I suspected he would be ecstatic at the news. But what did I know about being a mother>? I hadn’t exactly had the greatest role model growing up. I only had my own childhood to fall back on, and it hadn’t been a pleasant one. What if I turned out to be exactly like her? What If I failed my children the same way that Reagan had failed me?
“You’re afraid.” Regan sighed, reading my mind..
I tried to shake my head in denial, but she simply smiled wearily at me. “It’s okay, I get it,” she said quietly, “I wasn’t the best mother growing up, and now you’re afraid you might turn out to be the same way with any children you have.”
It was as though she could tell exactly what was going on inside my mind. I stared at her in disbelief, and then my shoulders slumped in resignation. Everything she said was correct. I could not hide it from her anymore.
“I…I just don’t know if I am the kind of mother a child would want,” I stammered, Regan’s eyes filling with sadness, a look of grief covering her face.
“You’ll be a fantastic mother, Fiona. You won’t make the same mistakes I did. You learn from them. You already love this child, I can tell. Don’t let fear get in your way. I made that mistake, and you should know better.”
Her tone was gentle but also filled with knowing. She knew I wasn't the same as her, but I didn't believe it. What if my children grew up hating me? What if I did something wrong? I didn't know the first thing about babies or how to look after one properly.
“But what if Liam doesn’t want a child?” I blurted out, turning to face her fully and watching as her eyes softened. “What if this is completely the wrong time? What if something happens that I can’t control,” I added thickly, placing a hand on my stomach again and imagining for a brief moment that there was a child growing inside of me.
“You know your mate better than anyone. Do you truly think he won’t feel blessed to be having a child with you? I’ve seen the way you two look at each other. It’s how my mates used to look at me when we first got together. That man practically worships you, Fiona. What is there to worry about? He has you on a pedestal and short of betraying him, he is not inclined to pull you down from it anytime soon.”
Regan's tone is filled with amusement now. I knew that Liam loved me, but this was another step in our relationship and another move forward. What if he wasn't ready either?
“I know he loves me,” I admitted, “but we’re so busy right now. There’s so much work to be done…” I trailed off as Regan let out a short laugh.
“You have people here willing to help you. You just need to learn to ask for help. You have me now,” she reminded me, her eyes beginning to sparkle, “and I’m very much willing to be a loving grandmother. That is, if you are willing to let me.”
She sounded tentative now and slightly fearful that I would push her away.
“Of course, I want you to be a Grandmother Regan. That was never a question. I just…”
“You’re just scared,” she whispered, and I nodded, tears springing to my eyes. “I felt the same way when I learned I was pregnant. I always needed the love of my mates, though, to see me through. Are you worried about something happening to the baby? Or are you merely afraid of learning you are pregnant?”
“Both,” I admitted, feeling my heart give a pang. “I’m worried that I’ll do something to harm the baby. I don’t mean to….” I continued, "But I'm not eating right, I can't keep food down, and I haven't exactly slowed down my work to accommodate the possibility."
“You already suspected,” Regan realized, “you just haven’t wanted to admit it.”
“I suspected the first time I threw up. I just haven’t had the nerve to say the words out loud or even confirm it.”
I felt like such a coward. Any other woman would have been overjoyed at the news, and here I was shying away from it.
Regan smiled, moving closer to embrace me hard. “Then we’ll confirm it together, and you can surprise Liam with the news. What do you say?” she suggested, wriggling her brows and causing me to laugh out loud.
I nodded; my head snuggled against her. It felt nice for once to have my mother by my side and, most importantly, on my side. The care she showed towards me now was a lot more loving than ever before, and I relished it, knowing she would be just as caring towards any grandchildren she might have. Together we were a team and I was just beginning to realize how strong Regan was and how much sacrifice she was willing to make for my own sake.
I made it to the bathroom just in time, throwing up my stomach contents yet again. I wiped the sweat off my brow and began to wash my face, only to turn and see my mother standing in the doorway, a strange expression on her face. I gave her a nervous look, hoping she hadn't heard me, but it was clear she had, for there was also an indecipherable look in her eyes. I frowned, wondering how long she had been standing there for.
“How long have you been pregnant for?” she asked, and I almost laughed out loud at the question, my anxiety beginning to skyrocket.
She had to be wrong. It wasn't possible. Right? I almost gave her a pleading look and then sighed and shook my head at her.
“I’m not pregnant, just sick,” I dismissed her, hoping it was the truth. Now was not the right time. It never felt as though it would be the right time. Not with all the pack business I was currently dealing with alongside Liam.
She frowned. “You can’t fool me, Fiona. I had these exact symptoms when I was pregnant with Celeste. You’re throwing up, yes?” she asked.
Just because I was throwing up didn't mean anything, I thought inwardly to myself. After all, it was also a sign of sickness.
“So? That doesn’t mean I’m pregnant. I’m just stressed,” I told her honestly.
Stressed was an understatement. I felt frazzled at the moment and barely had time to eat meals, let alone have time to myself.
I mean, who wouldn’t be trying to merge two large packs together? With the amount of workload I had taken on, I was barely sleeping, barely eating, and even losing weight. I would be glad when this was all over. Maybe then things might return to normal and a slower pace. I might be able to breathe again. We would be able to spend more quality time together instead of spending few moments here and there together.
“You’re pregnant,” my mother countered, folding her arms across her chest and viewing me smugly.
She looked as though she had all the answers. She was experienced in pregnancy, but in this case, I was certain she had to be wrong. I refused to believe her.
I shook my head and laughed. “I would know, wouldn’t I? It’s not as if my wolf would keep it from me.”
Although now that I had thought about it, my wolf had been strangely quiet the last few days, and I hadn't heard from her at all. She wouldn't do that to me, would she? Did she think I was in denial or being foolish? The truth was I was being both.
“She might be keeping it a surprise,” my mother shrugged unfazed “or maybe she thinks you might already know. I mean, you are carrying a pup, the evidence is blatantly obvious if you consider it. One,” she held up her fingers, beginning to tick them off, “you’re throwing up and nauseas, I’m betting all the time too,” she added with narrowed eyes as I opened my mouth to protest, “two, you are losing weight. I bet you either have no appetite or everything you’re trying to eat either turns your stomach or smells funny to you.”
I almost gaped at her. She wasn’t finished yet. “Three, your breasts are tender and sore, aren’t they?” she asked knowingly.
So, your Breasts got sore when you were due for your period. But my mind was already starting to divulge her words, my stomach beginning to churn. I was beginning to feel apprehensive now.
“Doesn’t mean I’m not sick,” I countered, not wanting to believe it.
It just couldn't be. I and Liam had been careful. Well, except for when....I almost gasped. Except for when we had gone through my heat and then, I hated to admit, a few times after that. So it was entirely possible that I could be pregnant right now. Unconsciously, I placed a hand on my stomach, wondering.
It wasn’t the right time to have a child. Not with everything going on. I didn’t even know if Liam wanted children. We had never had the discussion, although I suspected he would be ecstatic at the news. But what did I know about being a mother>? I hadn’t exactly had the greatest role model growing up. I only had my own childhood to fall back on, and it hadn’t been a pleasant one. What if I turned out to be exactly like her? What If I failed my children the same way that Reagan had failed me?
“You’re afraid.” Regan sighed, reading my mind..
I tried to shake my head in denial, but she simply smiled wearily at me. “It’s okay, I get it,” she said quietly, “I wasn’t the best mother growing up, and now you’re afraid you might turn out to be the same way with any children you have.”
It was as though she could tell exactly what was going on inside my mind. I stared at her in disbelief, and then my shoulders slumped in resignation. Everything she said was correct. I could not hide it from her anymore.
“I…I just don’t know if I am the kind of mother a child would want,” I stammered, Regan’s eyes filling with sadness, a look of grief covering her face.
“You’ll be a fantastic mother, Fiona. You won’t make the same mistakes I did. You learn from them. You already love this child, I can tell. Don’t let fear get in your way. I made that mistake, and you should know better.”
Her tone was gentle but also filled with knowing. She knew I wasn't the same as her, but I didn't believe it. What if my children grew up hating me? What if I did something wrong? I didn't know the first thing about babies or how to look after one properly.
“But what if Liam doesn’t want a child?” I blurted out, turning to face her fully and watching as her eyes softened. “What if this is completely the wrong time? What if something happens that I can’t control,” I added thickly, placing a hand on my stomach again and imagining for a brief moment that there was a child growing inside of me.
“You know your mate better than anyone. Do you truly think he won’t feel blessed to be having a child with you? I’ve seen the way you two look at each other. It’s how my mates used to look at me when we first got together. That man practically worships you, Fiona. What is there to worry about? He has you on a pedestal and short of betraying him, he is not inclined to pull you down from it anytime soon.”
Regan's tone is filled with amusement now. I knew that Liam loved me, but this was another step in our relationship and another move forward. What if he wasn't ready either?
“I know he loves me,” I admitted, “but we’re so busy right now. There’s so much work to be done…” I trailed off as Regan let out a short laugh.
“You have people here willing to help you. You just need to learn to ask for help. You have me now,” she reminded me, her eyes beginning to sparkle, “and I’m very much willing to be a loving grandmother. That is, if you are willing to let me.”
She sounded tentative now and slightly fearful that I would push her away.
“Of course, I want you to be a Grandmother Regan. That was never a question. I just…”
“You’re just scared,” she whispered, and I nodded, tears springing to my eyes. “I felt the same way when I learned I was pregnant. I always needed the love of my mates, though, to see me through. Are you worried about something happening to the baby? Or are you merely afraid of learning you are pregnant?”
“Both,” I admitted, feeling my heart give a pang. “I’m worried that I’ll do something to harm the baby. I don’t mean to….” I continued, "But I'm not eating right, I can't keep food down, and I haven't exactly slowed down my work to accommodate the possibility."
“You already suspected,” Regan realized, “you just haven’t wanted to admit it.”
“I suspected the first time I threw up. I just haven’t had the nerve to say the words out loud or even confirm it.”
I felt like such a coward. Any other woman would have been overjoyed at the news, and here I was shying away from it.
Regan smiled, moving closer to embrace me hard. “Then we’ll confirm it together, and you can surprise Liam with the news. What do you say?” she suggested, wriggling her brows and causing me to laugh out loud.
I nodded; my head snuggled against her. It felt nice for once to have my mother by my side and, most importantly, on my side. The care she showed towards me now was a lot more loving than ever before, and I relished it, knowing she would be just as caring towards any grandchildren she might have. Together we were a team and I was just beginning to realize how strong Regan was and how much sacrifice she was willing to make for my own sake.
End of Rejecting The Alpha Twins Chapter 185. Continue reading Chapter 186 or return to Rejecting The Alpha Twins book page.