Rivals ? - Chapter 10: Chapter 10

Skye had seen Juice's bright red face when she entered the living room. She knew Raine was trying to buy time by asking for another beer and although she was burning with curiosity, she gave the two guys a little more time together. From the corner of her eye, she saw that Raine was whispering something in Juice's ear, startling her friend so much he choked on his beer and started to cough.
Skye bit back a smile. It was just so adorable. She hadn't seen Juice in love before, but there was a permanent blush on his cheeks now. It was so freaking cute! Had Raine picked up on it? She hadn't noticed anything until they'd gone to her home, but well, it was hard to miss...
With two drinks she returned to the living room. Cross-legged, she sat down in the armchair, taking in the two men. Yeah – they would be an amazing couple. Raine was exactly what Juice needed, and during the date she had felt Raine's longing for someone who understood him; someone he could lean on when caring for his family was becoming too much for him.
There was a tense silence in the room. Had it been there too when she was in her room? Both men had told her they had a click, so she had expected things to go pretty well between them. However, Juice's discovery that he was in love might've complicated things.
She caught Juice's gaze and motioned with her eyes to her bedroom door, silently asking him if he wanted her to leave. Almost imperceptibly he shook his head. She saw the panic in his eyes; he didn't feel comfortable at all.
She clapped her hands. "Alright! I know you've both turned each other inside out when you were stuck in the elevator, but I love a good late night conversation! So... let's all ask one question that we all have to answer honestly."
Juice looked relieved, thankful that the silence was broken. She smiled.
"Okay, I'll start." She looked at Raine. "The perfect date. What does that look like?"
"Hmm..." He leaned forward. "Something givin' me an adrenaline boost. Like... bungee jumping or something. And after that... getting some cheap food, finding a quiet place to talk and ending up with steamy sex?"
She chuckled. "So I did like everything wrong?"
"The night isn't over," he winked.
"Unfortunately for you, I don't do sex on first dates," she winked back. That wasn't exactly true, but he didn't need to know that. As hot and nice as he was; she would never do that to Juice.
"Okay Juicy. Your perfect date?"
He ran a hand across his Mohawk. Poor baby, he was so nervous... She felt sorry for him. It felt like he didn't dare to say anything at all. "Ummm... going to some arcade sounds cool, and an old school marathon afterwards?"
She started to laugh. "Boy, like you will even finish the first movie when you like someone. I'm sure your date is half naked before the title even shows up."
Finally, a grin appeared on his face. "Hey, leave me to my delusion that I'm a gentleman. And, what's your perfect date?"
She thought about it. "A date with a millionaire sounds awesome. Throwing money around all day long."
The two men started to laugh. "Well, you better stop dating bikers then Mouse. We're poor."
"Well, we're outlaws after all," Raine said to him. "A good outlaw should earn some good money someday."
Juice chuckled. "Think you gotta choose a more experienced biker. What about Piney? Or Clay?"
She scrunched her nose. "You two cause me nightmares. Next question." She gave Raine a questioning look.
"Hm..." He took a moment to think. "What's your biggest fear?"
Juice was the first one answering the question. "Being alone," he said quietly. He bent his head and fidgeted with the nail of his index finger. "Sometimes I'm afraid to fuck something up, where after I will lose everyone again. Like I did back in Queens."
Raine wrapped an arm around him. "Hey, that was before you met us. We're way too badass to let someone scare us away."
Juice gave him a small smile, although his cheeks started to flush again. Desperately, his eyes shot to Skye, but she couldn't do much about his blushing face.
"Hmm, my biggest fear..." she started to divert Raine's attention away from Juice."Well – I'm fucking afraid of lightning." She looked at the Mayan. "Always have been. All those stories about people being struck by lightning... it freaks me out. I even crawl into Juice's bed during a thunderstorm."
"Aww, that's cute," Raine teased, taking his arm away from Juice's shoulder and reaching for his beer.
"Well hero, you afraid of nothing?"
"I'm fearless," he smirked. "But believe it or not – I have some serious dental phobia. For real – do with my body whatever the hell you want but getting anywhere near my teeth and molars... no fucking way." He bumped his shoulder against Juice's. "That better stay between us, bro. That killer of yours doesn't need to know that pulling out one molar is enough to make me talk."
With an amused smile, Skye watched them. It was beautiful to see how both men were opening up to each other more and more, despite the possible consequences.
"As long as you don't tell your brothers that you can drive me crazy by locking me up in an elevator, your secret is safe with me."
His words sounded light-hearted, but his tone told her he was relieved that Raine dared to share his weakness with him too.
"Okay, your turn to ask a question Juice!"
He leaned back in the couch. "Uh... What's your biggest love blunder?"
Skye dug into her memories and started to laugh. "Oh yeah, that's a good one. It's a classic, actually. Once, I had a boyfriend whom I took home. We were having dinner with my parents and suddenly he started to play footsie. He thought it was me, but it was my mom!" Remembering her mom's face, she started to laugh again.
"Hey, that was my story to tell!" Juice threw a cushion at her head.
"Well it was pretty awkward for me too! Your foot was almost between her legs. I was embarrassed like hell."
He rolled his eyes. "Exaggeration is also a profession. And you're shamelessness itself, Mouse."
She smirked. "Yeah, after that night I was." She turned towards Raine, who was chuckling. "What about you?"
"Well... I already told you," he said, "but okay." He turned a little more towards Juice. Skye could barely hide a smile – if he was going to confess to Juice that he had kissed a guy once, it would surely make him feel more comfortable. "It was during my patch-in party. They would get me the hottest chick around, but they got me so drunk I kissed a guy instead of that chick."
Juice froze. Instead of smirking about it, like he would have done when every other person had told him this, he turned his face away.
Oh dear, she thought when she saw him fighting his tears. She caught Raine's glance, who looked confused. She knew Juice well enough to know those tears were increasing his panic because he didn't want to cry around Raine.
With her eyes, she motioned towards the balcony. Raine got the hint and stood up. "I uhh – I'm going to smoke."
The moment he had left the room, Skye hurried to Juice and wrapped her arms around him. "Hey, what's going on baby?"
He rubbed his eyes. "He knows," he said. "He knows I'm in love with him. And I – I don't know, he confuses me the whole time. It feels like he's making fun of me."
"Calm down..." She squeezed his hand. "Why do you think he knows?"
"Because I say those stupid things all the time! And right before you joined us... I was staring at him and he said I looked like I was about to kiss him." With his thumb he wiped a few tears from below his eyes. "And when he made you get that beer, he whispered I had to relax and that he wouldn't have minded if I'd kissed him."
"But that is fantastic sweetie! The air is vibrating with the chemistry between the two of you!"
"You heard what he said! He thinks kissing a guy is a blunder! It was an obvious hint he's not too fond of gay people. He's just fucking with me, and I'm sure he doesn't want to be friends with me anymore now he knows I fell for him."
"He didn't hate kissing that guy, Juice. It's just a funny story because he would get a hot chick, and instead he started to kiss a guy in the middle of the clubhouse. He told me they're still teasing him about it." She gave his hand another squeeze. "He said it wouldn't hurt to keep his options open. You know, including girls and guys. I even think he was trying to show you that your feelings for him aren't bothering him."
Juice sighed deeply and rubbed his face. "What should I do now?" he asked quietly. "I'm such a dumbass the whole time; I'm afraid to scare him away."
"Lovey, listen carefully to me." She lifted his face until he looked her straight in the eye. "You're the reason he's here. He really likes you, Juice. Even if he doesn't have romantic feelings, I'm sure he can deal with yours. But you gotta talk to him about it, especially if he already knows anyway. Ask him how he feels about it, and if he reciprocates these feelings. You can't simply shove this to the side, Juice, your feelings are way too strong. Talk about it. Then you will notice that you're less nervous too, because you don't have anything to hide anymore. Just get it all out on the table, like we used to do. It'll make your friendship so much stronger."
. . .
Juice contemplated her words. He didn't know if he dared to talk about it, but at the same time he was done with not daring things. Maybe he should just bite the bullet. If he continued like this, he was going to ruin their friendship anyway.
"Okay," he said softly.
"Very well." She kissed his cheek. "I'm sure you'll feel relieved."
After a deep sigh, Juice got up. His intestines seemed to slush through his body as he walked to the balcony, his feet feeling heavy as lead. Softly, he closed the door behind him. The night air was cold – maybe he should have gotten himself a shirt.
However, one glance at Raine and he felt hot again. The Mayan was leaning against the railing, staring into the distance, to the mountains surrounding Charming.
"This is a nice spot," Raine noticed.
Juice was grateful that he was trying to keep things light; he went to stand next to the other man and stared at the starry sky. "Yeah, the view is amazing."
Raine studied his face. "You feel a little better?" he asked quietly.
The concern in his voice caused a paralyzing feeling in his chest. Quietly, he shrugged his shoulders, staring into the darkness again. "My head's a mess," he confessed.
Raine didn't dig deeper, but instead gave him space to elaborate. He raised his hand, offering Juice his cigarette. His cheeks flushed as he took the smoke from him, knowing it had been between Raine's lips a few seconds ago. He took a deep drag.
"You meant what you said?" Juice asked, his face turned to the scenery again. "That you wouldn't have minded if I'd kissed you?"
"I don't think I'd push you away."
He peeked to his side, although he was too shy to look him straight in the eye. "Why not?" he whispered.
Raine shrugged his shoulders. "Why would I? I'm sure you're a skilled kisser."
With the nail of his thumb he scratched the railing. What the hell was he supposed to do with that? He still didn't know whether the guy was serious or not. At the same time, he realized he was hard to read too. "I never thought you wanted to turn me into a rat," he confessed. He took a deep breath, but pulled through: "I panicked because I... felt certain things which made me feel ashamed. That was just the first excuse crossing my mind."
Raine turned a little more towards him. "We're friends now, Juice. You don't have to be ashamed of anything around me."
Juice dropped his eyes. That was easier said than done.
Suddenly, Raine turned towards him and caught his gaze. His hand slipped out of his pocket and shoved it up across Juice's side, settling between his ribs and hip bone. Juice sucked in his breath as he felt the caress across his skin. He felt so stressed, his legs started to shake.
"Look. I would lie if I told you I don't feel attracted to you. But what exactly do you feel, Juice? Are you just in the mood to kiss? Or are your feelings... more serious?"
Juice bent his head and stared at the hand that was still on his skin. His touch was gentler than it had been in his imagination. "After the fundraiser, Mouse told me I that was in love with you. And I – I think she's right. Even when I – when I've never been into guys before." Although his cheeks were reddening again, he forced himself to look up. "And I'm scared you don't want to be friends anymore, because of these feelings."
"Why wouldn't I want to be friends anymore?"
Awkwardly, Juice shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know. Maybe you think it's disgusting."
"I'm not homophobic. I told you I kissed a guy myself."
"But you called it a blunder."
"Because it wasn't my intention. It wasn't about the fact that it was a guy. It might just as well have been some granny; that wouldn't have meant that I'm not into girls in general."
"So... you're also bisexual?" he asked quietly.
"I dunno. Maybe." He lifted the corner of his mouth. "Probably. Since a part of me is dying to kiss you."
Juice had the feeling the butterflies in his stomach were lifting him up and he was floating in the air. "You – you do?" he stammered.
"Yeah," he answered softly. His thumb brushed slightly over his skin, spreading goose bumps across his body. "But I think it's better if we don't kiss. For now. I'm not sure where that longing is coming from. Maybe it's just curiosity, or maybe that longing to be friends with you is just absurdly strong. Or maybe I do have feelings for you. I don't know – I've never thought about kissing you before today. I don't want to give you hope if what you're wishing for might never happen. And I'm also afraid that it will ruin our friendship if it leads to nothing. I think it's better if we stay friends for now. Until we feel just as comfortable around each other as you feel around Skye, and then we can figure out what to do from there." He smiled a bit nervous. "What do you think?"
"Yeah, sounds like a plan," Juice admitted. He wasn't disappointed; he thought it was a wise decision. Despite his feelings, he wasn't sure he wanted to be in a relationship with a man – and truth to be told; a romance with a Mayan was even more complicated than a friendship.
"Let's just see what happens, okay? Let's just be open about it."
Juice nodded, an optimistic smile spreading on his face. Wherever this would lead to – as long as they went down that road together, he was fine with it.
A shiver of longing went through his body when Raine pulled his hand away. However, the heat ascended to his cheeks when Raine's fingers pressed against his chin, his thumb tracing Juice's bottom lip.
"But you better be careful with that smile of yours."
His voice sounded deeper. Low in his stomach, something contracted.
"Then you better not touch me like this," he said, a little hoarse.
Their eyes locked. "I know," he said softly. He dipped his head so their foreheads were resting against each other.
His lips were so close... It was the only thing Juice could think about. At the same moment, he realized he needed this tension to go away if he wanted this to work. Softly, he pressed his lips against Raine's, giving him a small kiss. The man's fingertips ghosted across his jawline, only slightly touching him.
Raine created a little more distance between their lips so he could kiss Juice himself; first on the corner of his mouth, then in the middle of it. A longing for more rushed through his veins. Still, he broke the kiss; he didn't want to destroy a friendship by diving into this, only to find out later one of them wasn't really into it.
Nervously, he pursed his lips as he shyly looked at Raine. "Sorry," he said. "I just..."
"Had to take away the tension."
He nodded, relieved Raine had felt that too.
"I think it was good. We'll see how manically this kiss is going to haunt me," he smirked. He squeezed Juice's shoulder. "I think I'm heading home. Don't think you can handle much more stress, right?"
"The worst is over now," he muttered. Nevertheless, he turned towards the door and led Raine to the living room.
Skye was sitting on the couch, her phone in her hands. Her way too wide grin told him she knew exactly what had happened on the balcony.
"I gotta go," Raine said to Skye.
She got up. "Yeah." She gave him a squeezing tight hug. "Thanks for today. It was fun."
"Thank you too." He kissed her cheek. "See you soon."
Juice walked him to the door. Their embrace was way more intimate than their first hug had been, and it took Juice a hell of an effort to let go of him.
"Skye told me you have my number," Raine said, putting on his kutte. "Just text me when you wanna hang out."
Juice nodded eagerly.
Raine gave him a smile that made his knees feel weak, then Raine picked up his helmet and closed the door.
Juice had the feeling his heart was dancing in his chest when he returned to the living room.
Mouse almost ran towards him, jumping in his arms. "Oh my god!! I saw you kiss!"
"Were you spyin' on us?"
"Of course I was! I ship you two so hard, I was way too curious."
"It was just a kiss on the lips," Juice muttered. He slipped a hand into his pocket. "It's not what you think, we're not going to date. He told me he doesn't know what he feels for me – whether it's curiosity, or strong feelings of friendship or more... and he's afraid it will ruin our friendship if we... try something while ending up with one of us hurt. So... For now, we'll be just friends and we'll see if it will change in the future."
Mouse smiled, giving him another tight hug. "He's perfect for you baby. He already knows you so well, he knows what you need... I think it's great that you're not rushing into anything; that you take the time to figure out how to deal with each other and your clubs, before you're going to explore your feelings." She pulled back a little, looking at him. "Or do you mind waiting?"
He shook his head. "No. I'm not even sure if it's something I want. Coming out and shit like that... I just know it will make me an outcast in our world. The biker who's gay." He sighed softly. "But I'm glad I don't have to hide my feelings around him. It will save me a hell of a lot of stress." He raked his fingers through her purple hair, kissing her forehead. "Thanks Mouse. For encouraging me to be honest with him."
"Always baby." Her arms slid around him and her cheek rested against his chest. "I will always be there for you, Juice."
He held her tight. "I'll always be there for you too, Mouse."