Rivals ? - Chapter 43: Chapter 43

Juice was broken.
In all the years they'd known each other, Skye had seen almost all of his emotional states. But this... this was different. He didn't eat, he didn't sleep. For almost a month. If she didn't force him to shower, he wouldn't do it. He was just sitting on the couch, staring into nothing, and by now, Skye didn't know what to do anymore. Both Clay and Chibs had been mad at him but not a single word reached his brain. He was completely indifferent. If they would push a gun against his head, he wouldn't even care.
It scared her.
She had taken him to the cinema, to the theater, she'd wanted to go karting and bungee-jump. It hadn't elicited a single smile. The look in his eyes remained empty.
Something had died inside him.
It was more than a broken heart. Juice had lost his place within the club because of his relationship with Raine. He no longer felt at home among his brothers. He'd been ready to give up everything for the man and for the first time in his life he'd dared to plan a future in which his loneliness didn't play the leading role. Despite his fear of abandonment, he'd completely opened up to Raine and he had trusted him with every inch of his being.
And Raine had betrayed his trust. She knew he wasn't even able to trust her anymore, for he barely spoke about his feelings. He was bottling up everything inside — and she feared that he would burst one moment. She knew he'd used drugs in the past and especially with his OCD it was the stupidest thing he could do. She was terrified that he would overdose.
He was stuck in his head, drowning in his pain.
He kept looking for reasons why Raine had done this to him; he felt worthless and he seemed unable to believe that anyone could love him. Not even Skye.
It broke her heart. It was horrible to be unable to reach him.
At times, she held him for hours. It always felt like she was a ghost; her touches imperceptible for him. He didn't hug her back; sometimes, he even turned away from her as if he couldn't bear a single touch.
I'm losing him.
She knew it — and she had no idea what to do about it. It felt like he was slipping through her fingers as if he was water, no matter how hard she tried to hold it.
She was his best friend, the one he always relied on. If she couldn't pull him back to the light, his brothers couldn't do it either.
She could think of only one person who might be able to make a difference. The one who'd caused all this. The men hadn't spoken since they broke up and out of respect for Juice, she hadn't contacted Sammy or Raine.
But right now, she was desperate.
Her only hope was that Raine was feeling just as horrible and that they could talk things out. It made her mad that Juice hadn't heard from Raine again; that Raine had done so little to solve this. It obviously was a serious blow for Juice that his boyfriend had cheated on him, but she believed he would have given him a second chance if Raine had fought for him.
Did he no longer love Juice?
It was hard to believe — but it was also hard to believe that he had cheated on him and he had done that too. Apparently, he had a side he had been hiding for a long time.
. . .
Skye hadn't told Juice that she was going to Oakland. She'd asked Sammy to have a coffee somewhere. Although she'd read the text immediately, it had taken her two hours to answer. She couldn't leave the house because she was babysitting Sasha, but Skye could stop by. She had sounded a little distant and there was a pit in Skye's stomach. What if Raine had talked bullshit about Juice, just to hide his own mistakes for his sister?
Quietly, she closed the car door after parking in front of the house, and a moment later she rang the bell. It didn't take long before Sammy opened the door. The girl had bags beneath her eyes and her dark hair hung down lifelessly.
The sight of it startled Skye. Immediately she wrapped her arms around her friend and gave her a squeezing hug. It felt like a relief that someone was finally hugging her back.
"Are you okay?" she asked worried as she let go of the girl.
Sighing, Sammy shrugged her shoulders. "The past weeks have been rough."
Skye squeezed her shoulder and followed her inside.
"Just have a seat," Skye said since Sammy created the impression that she could collapse any moment. "I'll get us some tea."
She headed to the kitchen and filled the kettle. There were a lot of dirty dishes and Skye started to clean them.
"You really don't have to do that, Skye," Sammy said from the couch. "I'll do it later."
"It's no big deal, honey. You look like you haven't had a moment for yourself in weeks."
Sammy turned her head away. All of a sudden, she started to sob.
Skye forgot about the dishes and the tea immediately and headed to the couch, sitting down next to the girl who was holding her head in her hands. Skye pulled her into an embrace and held her tight, rubbing soothing circles on her back. "Hey lovey, what's going on?"
"I'm just... I'm just so tired," she sniffed. "Sasha wakes up countless times each night and I have my studies and I need to keep the house clean and cook and — and it's just too much."
Skye leaned back a little so she could look at her. "That is a lot indeed. But where is Raine?"
"He's never home." She wiped her eyes. "And when he is, I always hope he leaves. I don't recognize him anymore. It feels like I've lost my brother in the past weeks." New tears ran down her cheeks.
After losing her sister and mother, it had to hurt a lot.
"And Sasha... I don't dare to ask for help. What if Child Services come and take her away? I — I can't lose her too. Dad helps a lot, but he's going through a tough time too and Raine and he are always fighting."
So Raine isn't doing well either.
Secretly, she felt relieved. Juice and Raine needed each other.
It meant their problems could be solved.
"You can't stay long," Sammy said softly. "Raine doesn't want me to have contact with you or with Juice. If he sees you here, he'll lose his temper."
"But why? Juice and I didn't do anything wrong."
"No," Sammy whispered. "But it doesn't matter. He gets mad about everything." She averted her gaze. "He even screams at Sasha. She doesn't understand at all."
"I'll get you something to drink first," Skye said when it took Sammy more and more effort to talk. She went back to the kitchen. Instead of tea, she filled two glasses with water and gave one to Sammy. "Is he like this since he broke up with Juice?"
Sammy took a few sips and sighed. "At first he was just sad, but after a few days, he changed. He was easily irritated and not much later, the tantrums started. He came home late, always covered in bruises. Two weeks ago he even needed to go to the hospital with a broken nose and a broken orbital bone."
Skye sucked in her breath. "You think someone is abusing him?"
Sammy shook her head. "No, he's looking for a fight. That time he needed to go to the hospital, it was some street youth he got into a fight with; seven against one. The club retaliated a day later. It was horrible. I knew one of the guys, we went to the same school. He told me Raine was the one who provoked the fight." She swallowed. "And I believe him. I don't recognize my brother anymore, he's never been an aggressive guy."
"And the club and he are in a good place?" she wondered.
"Yeah. Well — he does hang out with them again, yeah. But he's not himself and nobody cares. They're just relieved that that "thing" with Juice is over, and him getting harder is good for the club." She dropped her eyes. "But that doesn't mean it's good for Raine too. I miss my sweet brother who was always there for us. His foster daughter is scared of him. I'm scared of him," she whispered. "But he refuses to talk."
"I will talk to him," Skye promised. "Someone has to hold up a mirror, showing him he's hurting the people he loves."
. . .
Skye stayed late that night. Sammy was sleeping on the couch, her head in Skye's lap. She caressed her hair while contemplating the words she wanted to say to Raine.
Once the door was slammed shut and she heard the ringing of keys, she still wasn't sure how to do this. Sammy sat up straight at the sound of the door. Her breathing was quick and Skye squeezed her hand to calm her down. She got up from the couch.
Raine froze in the doorway to the living room when he saw her.
Around the purple-blue bruises on his face, his skin paled as if he was seeing a ghost.
"Hey, Raine."
"What the fuck are you doin' here?"
It might have been his intention to snap, but his voice lacked strength.
Skye stepped closer. He bolted as if he was scared of her.
Not scared of me. Scared of the memories of what he lost. Of whó he lost.
"I wondered how you were doing."
"I'm fine," he grumbled.
"I'm glad to hear that. I hope you can help me." She studied his battered face. "Juice isn't doing well. Horrible, actually. I don't know what to do anymore and you're my last hope."
His fingers were trembling as he reached for the keyring he'd tossed at a small table. Was he about to leave? "Juice and I broke up. There's nothing I can do."
He grabbed the keys and turned around.
Skye stepped closer and held his wrist.
With a wild look on his face, Raine looked over his shoulder. Tears were brimming his eyes and he was surrounded by the smell of alcohol.
"He needs you, Raine."
"He hates me."
"Not as much as he loves you." She felt him freeze. "He doesn't eat, Raine. He doesn't sleep. He doesn't talk." Her eyes started to itch. "I don't know what to do anymore, he's wasting away. I know the break-up is tearing you apart too. Do something about it! Show him that he means the world to you, for he believes he's a discarded toy!"
For a moment she thought he would give in; then, he tore away his arm.
"Fuck off."
Skye stared at him, her throat feeling thick. "But..."
"Go away!" he screamed. Heat radiated from his face. "Ask fucking Panthom to date him. He'll forget about me in a minute!"
He opened the door, slamming it behind him. The wood was trembling. As was Skye.