Rivals ? - Chapter 45: Chapter 45

Someone knocked on his bedroom door.
Juice didn't respond. Apatically, he kept staring at the ceiling. Even when the door opened and he heard soft footsteps, he didn't look to the side.
He felt numb, robbed of any emotion. The tearing pain was gone, but there was no relief either. There was just... nothing. This must be how dying felt. A heaviness pushing you down, making it hard to breathe, trying to persuade you to not inhale over and over again, until you closed your eyes forever.
He was barely aware of the fact that Skye sat down next to him and rubbed his arm.
"Juice? It's about time to go outside, baby. You're lying here for hours."
He even lacked the energy to shrug his shoulders.
"There's someone who wants to talk to you."
For a moment he felt something. Annoyance. "I'm not gonna talk to some shrink."
"I know. Come on." She grabbed his arm and tried to pull him to his feet. "I promise you will feel better after the conversation."
Juice didn't believe her.
Still, he got up. The sooner he could get rid of her whining, the better. Only when he stood upright, he felt his stomach rumble. He couldn't remember the last time he'd eaten something. For a moment he stood still and closed his eyes, fighting the dizziness. Then, he shuffled past her, out of the bedroom.
Skye had baked pancakes, they were piled up on the table. Although most days he had been unable to put anything down his throat, the scent of it seduced him to sit down at the table and butter the pancake with strawberry jam.
A warm smile adorned the face of his roommate. A bit suspiciously he glanced at her. Lately, there had been concern and frustration on her face, emotions he called up.
"Who is it?" he muttered, cutting off a piece of the rolled-up pancake.
"You'll find out soon enough." She showed him a mysterious smile.
Like every day, it was precisely the face he wanted to forget about that emerged in his thoughts. Was it Raine? Had his ex found out that he didn't want to live without him and would he beg for another chance?
Juice had no idea what he would do.
He neither dared to ask Skye if it really was Raine.
He lost his appetite, listlessly he pricked his fork in the remains of his pancake.
Warm fingers curled around his left hand. "Do you trust me, Juice? I promise you this will make you feel better."
He stared at her hand.
Yes, he trusted her. But he also believed it was impossible for her to understand how he felt or to help him to get rid of the hollow feeling in his chest.
"It's not a blind date, right?" His voice sounded hoarse. He thought back to the time Skye had arranged a date to help him forget about Raine. Thad had been the moment at which Raine had decided he could no longer deny his feelings for him, and despite all the risks he'd wanted to be together. He tried to banish the memory in which Raine pushed him against the front door and claimed his lips.
"No," she answered, squeezing his hand. "I know you're not ready."
Juice didn't pry further. Sometimes, he had no idea what was going on in her head, and trying to figure it out was nothing but a waste of energy. He forced himself to eat his pancake and took a shower after a few firm words from Skye.
. . .
Juice regretted letting Skye persuade him to go outside, and letting her drive. If he had been on his bike, he would have gone back a long time ago. He stared through the window; it had been ten minutes since they'd left Charming. Nervously, his foot tapped at the bottom of the car. He really wanted to give Skye's plan a chance. If not, she might grow sick of him too, and then he would have no one. That however also increased the tension he felt about this meeting. He couldn't think of anyone who would want to talk to him. Was it one of his brothers? He hadn't seen them in days. They surely wanted to kick him out soon. He didn't care. Or had she contacted his sister or his mother? That prospect only increased his anxiety.
It was a bit of a seedy bar where Skye took him. She parked the car in front of the door.
"I will wait here for you."
Juice turned his head towards her. "Why don't you tell me who it is? This drives me crazy."
Skye leaned into him and kissed his cheek. "Have faith, lovey. I've already meddled too much in this."
Juice suppressed a sigh. He would just go inside and pretend he'd talked to someone. Without saying another word, he opened the car door and left the vehicle. With leaden steps, he walked to the cafe. It was quiet. Standing in the doorway, he took in the room. There were a few people, but he didn't recognize anyone. Should he wait for someone? He cursed. What was the point of all this mysterious shit? He wasn't in the mood for it. He turned around — and bumped into someone.
His body trembled as he looked right into two light grey eyes.
"Juice..." a soft voice sounded.
Juice stepped back, tripping over the threshold. Before he could fall, the Mayan grabbed his arm and kept him on his feet. He wanted to push the man away and looked over his shoulder, agitated. Was this a coincidence? Or were there other Mayans too?"
"I'm alone," Phantom said. "Skye asked me to talk to you."
Juice's shoulders tensed. This was the person he had to talk to? How the hell would this make him feel better? The hacker might not wear a kutte, but everything screamed 'Mayan' and 'Raine'. "Talk about what?"
"Let's take a seat." Phantom nodded to the corner to the right. "We're standing in the way here."
Juice didn't want to go with him. He wanted to go home, away from the Mayan. What the hell could the guy tell him? Suddenly his stomach cramped up. Did something happen to Raine? Was he dead? Did Skye believe that would make him feel better? Suddenly he felt sick with fear.
"Did — did something happen to Raine?"
"I'll tell you in a minute."
Phantom gave him a little shove towards the table in the corner. Juice's thoughts were too chaotic to do something else than walk with the man and a moment later, he sat down on a chair. Phantom took a seat across from him. He laid his hands on the table, his left hand folded around his fist.
"Raine doesn't know I'm here," Phantom started. "Nobody does. If the club finds out, I'll hang."
Juice stared at the man, not knowing what to say.
Phantom heaved a deep sigh and stared at the tabletop. Before he could say anything, a girl showed up next to them, asking them what they wanted to drink. The Mayan blew her off with an order consisting of two beers.
The prospect searched for Juice's eyes. "I was in the clubhouse, that night that... well, you know."
Juice swallowed, averting his eyes. He didn't want to talk about this. What would Phantom say? That he felt sorry for him? His pity wouldn't change a damn thing.
"Esai and Raine entered the clubhouse together. It didn't take..."
"I don't wanna hear it." Juice stood up. "I don't wanna know the details."
"Yes, Juice, you do. Things didn't go down the way you think... Or the way Raine thinks."
Hesitating, Juice stood still. His throat felt sore. Thinking back to that night called up tears in his eyes. His legs were shaking, forcing him to sit down again.
"Most of the time they were playing pool. Esai put some pills in a drink and gave it to Raine. After a while, Raine lost consciousness and Esai took him to his room. I... had to come with them." The guy dropped his eyes. "I had to undress him. Not much later, a girl crawled into his bed. I got mad at Esai when I understood his plan, but he shoved me against the wall and promised me I wouldn't live long if I turned out to be a rat." The man looked up, shame was written all over his face. "Raine never cheated on you, Juice. He was drugged by his best friend and lied to by the girl who claimed they'd slept together the next morning. Esai wanted to end things between you two, it was all a set-up. And Raine has no idea."
Juice's head started spinning. For a while, he could only stare forward, feeling stunned.
So... Raine never cheated on him? Was he deceived by his best friend?
Had they been apart for over a month just because of some dirty game played by a sick friend?
He couldn't wrap his head around it.
"And why would I believe you?" he muttered.
"What would I gain by misleading you?" Phantom's voice sounded harsh. "I'm sticking my neck out by telling you this. But Raine has become an aggressive asshole and you're not doing well either. Apart from Esai, I'm the only one who knows this and it's tearing me apart. I liked Raine. I like you. This is keeping me from sleeping for weeks. You are both deceived."
Juice ran a hand across his face. He didn't know what to believe anymore. Before he knew it, a tear rolled down his cheek. Was it really true? The uncertainty was merciless and it made his heart fragile. He feared the hope he felt — hope that would crush his heart when it would be smashed to pieces again.
"Skye was at Sammy's yesterday. With her own eyes, she saw how the break-up changed Raine. He's... not the same without you, Juice, and you're not the same without him. You need each other."
More tears slipped down his cheeks. He thought about Raine and tried to imagine that it was Chibs who would do something like that to him. It was unimaginably cruel.
"Is it really true?" By now, quiet sobs left his lips. "Did he... did he not cheat?"
"No," Phantom answered, an emphatic look in his eyes. "But... you can't tell him."
"W-what?" Confused, he looked at the man.
"You can't tell him that he never cheated on you. For if you do... you will sign my death warrant." Desperately, he looked at Juice. "Now I've helped you, I hope you will help me too. Give Raine a second chance, tell him you forgive him, and tell him the truth later, when he will no longer run to the clubhouse to bash Esai's brains out. I know it will be hard, for Raine hates himself for what he believes he has done to you. But if Esai knows I told you the truth... he will put a bullet in my brain."