ROTTEN LOVE - Chapter 17: Chapter 17

As the pendant is taken off, my eyes widen in horror. There is no rational thought to Zain's action. We got lucky with Maddox.
Now, with both the Malfattos unbounded, we have more to fear than two dead witches.
"Are you crazy," I look at Zain with disgust.
His hand holds pieces of my heart-shaped pendant, stained from the mix of blood it contained. He crushed it in his hand.
In doing that, he crushes the control Marisa has. He crushes my freedom to act how I please. Everything I do now, I have to think, 'Is this too much? Will Marisa get in a blood lust if I do this?'
For someone who claims to care for his pack, he just did the most selfish act against them. Some leader he is. I would never do that.
Zain calls my name in a firm but soft tone. My eyes draw from his hand to his face. It's the first time our eyes meet without the pendant again.
My heart beats fast like a fool. My senses are consumed by him once more.
What is this madness?!
A few seconds ago I wanted to scream in his lousy face. Now, I feel like I need him close to me. My anger subsides.
That on its own is angering. I clench my fist to remind myself of the indignation I should be feeling, not love.
When I look at Zain's eyes, they are calm. No signs of conflict in them. He knew what he was doing. He was hoping to placate me.
"How could you," I struggle to say as my heart beats through my chest erratically, as it beats for him.
"I am tired of this disrespect, Helena. Can't you see the influence they have on you?!"
"No, but you seem to know the influence you have on me," I stare him down. My chest rises and falls as I keep eye contact with him.
This bond should not be allowed. It can't be natural.
I point to his hand, "Why else destroy it? You know what it does to me."
"I needed you to see past the Malfattos."
I interrupt him, "You mean to see what you want me to see."
He sighs, "Oh come on Helena. You are acting like you can't act on your own free will without the necklace. You still have a brain. Do you not?"
It's hard to yell at him. I can think for myself right now but he is all I want. It does not help that he is nude.
I look to the side and fist my hands, "can someone get him some dam clothes," I order.
He smirks. Dam him. It makes me more infuriated.
I want to slap his stupid face. I hear Marisa's cold hand meet his face before I see it. She knew what I felt.
"You stupid dog. Do you have any idea what you have done," she yells at him.
He gets a hold of her arm before her hand went in for a second slap.
"I allowed it once. There will not be a second," he flings her arm. She snarls in response.
Zain calls for someone. I see through the corner of my eye a pair of shorts being handed to him. I still avert my gaze. He will not get the best of me.
Zain calls for me. I bite my lip refusing the urge to get near him, to touch him. I get between Maddox and Marisa.
This is where I belong. This is my home.
Zain grunts.
"Dam, Helena. You made me do it. How could you ask him to bite you," he directs to me.
"At least, he waited till I asked," I throw at him.
"Perhaps, he should have been your mate," he responds, bitterness in his voice.
"He should have been," I say in anger.
Zain's eyebrows lift. Hurt in his eyes. I instantly regret the words.
I feel Maddox stare at the back of my head even if I am not looking at him. It's not the time for that conversation either.
I sigh loudly, "I didn't ask Maddox to bite me because I want him. Through his bite, he can make me see what he wants. Hopefully, he can make me see what he felt. He could have overlooked something. A fresh mind could put puzzle pieces together."
This is my motive. Maybe, he felt something familiar and did not notice it. People make us see, smell and feel different things. What's to say we did not meet the culprit before?
This is what I wanted to figure out. Zain can't see through his jealousy. It's somewhat annoying. Now, we have two purebloods loose.
Part of me is upset that I have to make sure to not act on impulse. I can't get mad irrationally. I can't even hold Zain. I know what that causes inside.
Zain grunts, "I said no, Helena."
Maddox places a hand on my shoulder. His touch was cold like always, yet comforting.
He says to Zain, "I won't wonder. I'll just replay the scene. Highlight images and smells."
"The word of a bloodsucker means nothing," Beta Max says from behind Zain.
I interrupt, "I don't need permission from either of you. I decide what I want to do and I say this is a good idea. We are doing it."
"You are not," Zain snaps.
His continuing insistence on telling me what to do makes me hot inside. He has no right over me. He is not my father and not my leader, at least.
I see a very subtle movement from Marisa, enough to catch my attention. I observe her.
Under her beautiful grey eyes, a very subtle red tint lies. I take a deep breath.
It's me. She is feeling me.
We cannot have another episode. Maddox just got control. We don't know when he will lose it again.
If both lose control at the same time, then there is no telling what will happen. So, I close my eyes, breathing in deeply. Then, exhale it.
I repeat the process only to be stopped by a cold hand in mine. The hand is small and nibble. I know it's Marisa before I open my eyes.
I meet her gaze. The damaging tint diminishing. A rush of relief comes to me. With her hand in mine and Maddox's backing, I can stay calm for everyone's sake, mostly theirs.
Marisa comforts, "I will try to fight harder through it. I am sorry. We are in this together."
Like we always have, I thought.
Just as quickly as she became sweet, she changes her demeanor, attention on Zain. Her eyes were sharp. Her face is expressionless.
She says, "I assume you have a master plan to play such a stunt."
"I don't have to give you an explanation," Zain replies.
"So you don't. You stupid jealous dog," Marisa insults him.
It does not sit well that she is insulting him but he deserves it.
She continues, "Since you don't, we will do what Helena wants."
She turns. The vamps follow suit. They are done with the conversation as is their leader.
Out of normalcy, I turn to do the same.
Zain grabs my arm, "You are staying."
I yank back, "I'm leaving."
His large hand around my arm constricts. It starts to hurt.
"You are hurting me," I warn Zain. His eyes are dilated, slightly darker. But his hold stays the same.
I repeat the phrase until it registers. His eyes soften and he releases my arm. I take it back angrily.
He gives me a small threat, "If you leave with them Helena, this alliance is over. Mate or not. Do not do this. Stay with me."
How can he be so irrational? He acts like I'm eloping with Maddox. I need a vision. I need to find Jason.
His words break my heart. He makes me feel like I am abandoning him. Something chemical in me hates the idea of that.
This man has not earned my loyalty, yet his essence alone inspires fidelity in me. My mother must have known.
She must have known that her children were mated to werewolves. She wanted us not to be influenced by the bond.
My parents were loyal to the Malfattos. If she knew that one or both of her children had wolves as mates, of course, she would hide us from them.
I see now. The bond is too strong. She knew what I would face. I would have to decide between my other half, the one made for me, versus my family, those I grew up with.
'Your home is with them... remember who truly lies in your heart.'
Her words replay in my mind. The message was for this moment. If Zain wants me to choose right now, then I will. It's absurd and uncalled for but I will respond.
"Then, I guess it's done. We are done," I do not let him respond. I walk away before he gets the chance.
Marisa and everyone is waiting for me. I run to her side. Her hand stretched for me. She gives me a small smile.
It's nothing like the ones she puts for a show, where the corner of her lips extends high. Her eyes twinkle. Nothing like those smiles. Those are false.
This is her genuine expression. It's exactly what I needed. I grab her hand, and that gesture is the only thing keeping my heart together.
Because I just broke a piece off with him, with Zain. He has not earned it. We have had a few decent conversations, lots of fights and steamy moments, firework-worthy moments.
I've known him for a full day, about to be two when this day is over. Such a short time. Yet, he has my heart. More like captured it.
I am hostage to this bond. I am his hostage which is what he tried to keep me when breaking the pendant.
But I broke free. I will not be a slave to him.
Bad enough, I had no say initially to be bonded to the Malfattos. I have one now. I choose them.
We get to the assigned cabin. Maddox quickly gives orders, "Gather your things. We will leave the first light. We will not go home yet. Not without Jason but it's safe to say we are no longer welcome here. We will stay somewhere near but not in Zain's grounds."
No one argues but I see my witches look back at me for confirmation. I give them the go-ahead. It does not go past me that they gave Maddox a hostile look. Maddox does not miss it either.
As the last member leaves, he says, "So it was one of ours."
I correct, "two of my witches."
My face is sad from the memory with a hint of resentment.
"I didn't see Rachel. Was it Finn too," he questions.
We have all grown up together, especially this group we have assembled.
Our parents made the alliance but we, their children, have kept it. We have been raised in it.
I see lament in his amber eyes. He did not do it on purpose but I will not make him feel better. He needs to feel this like my witches do, like our whole group does so that next time he fights harder.
"Their bodies will be picked up, prepared for travel. They will be buried in our grounds, their home. A proper ceremony will be held. Their families looked out for," he assures me.
However, I needed none. I knew Maddox was going to do right by them. I nod in understanding.
The night is almost done. As much as I want to sleep, I need to get this done while Maddox has everything fresh in his mind.
"Shall we," I ask Maddox.
"I might not understand your infatuation with alpha Zain but I can see your distress, amica mea. Take your time. We can do this in the morning," he says.
"No. The more time we waste, the more time Jason is missing, the greater the chances of you losing control and now we have Marisa to worry about. No waiting."
"As you wish, I trust you will tell me when you want to stop."
I nod yes.
Marisa remains holding my hand. She is with me. That's the message. I smile at her.
Maddox approaches me. He seems to be moving so slowly. It's my erratic heart. It is beating so fast that everything around seems to be going slowly.
I can't help but remember the last time he bit me. It was so long ago but his touch stayed with me. My heart may beat for Zain. But it has long lived for Maddox.
It does not simply go away. I thought it did but in this moment, with Zain not present, it's clear nothing has gone away. It's just overlooked when I'm with my mate.
Maddox's long fingers get to me. He cups my face and makes sure I stare at him. I gulp.
"No wondering," he promises me.
I'm relieved that he won't confuse me further. He will show me what needs to be seen and that's it. No passionate moments.
I couldn't handle that now. I need my brother, the only man in my life who uncomplicates things.
I nod my head up and down slowly. Maddox's fingers caress my cheek. My breath hitches as he pulls back my hair. I feel his eyes solely on me.
He lowers himself down, excruciatingly slowly. I feel his breath on my neck. My heart is going crazy. I feel like I'm going to be sick.
A hand squeezes mine. Marisa.
I am not alone. I am not alone. I chant to myself.
This is all business. I don't want this. Maddox does not want this.
I remind myself as his familiar fangs graze my skin.