ROTTEN LOVE - Chapter 19: Chapter 19

I feel a shift to my left. Naturally, I adjust myself. I wrap around the teddy bear stronger. My head moves up and down, snuggling it to death.
Behind me, I get squeezed with the same intensity. Low breathing is felt in my outer ear. I am trying to find a new spot to get comfortable. I back up against the warmth and squeeze my bear more to me.
The breathing in my ear picks up. I release the weight in front of me to swat at my hair. The breathing tickles. Subsequently, I back up some more.
I hear a low growl, a warning.
"We have company, amica mea," a lustful voice rings sweetly in my ear.
My eyes go flying open. I immediately jolt up. Disturbing the bear, only to realize it's Marisa.
I sit up and look to my right at Maddox. He has a smug smirk. He holds his head up with a hand.
"Good morning, Helena," he says sinisterly.
My mouth felt parched. I clear it as I say, "Morning."
Marisa sits up next, stretching and yawning, "What's wrong? Let's cuddle some more."
"Helena seems to have other things in mind," Maddox teases.
I scoff, "I thought Marisa was a bear. She moved. I was trying to get comfortable."
Marisa raises an eyebrow in question. I shrug my shoulders. I will ignore Maddox.
I scurry off the bed, "we are wasting time. Get dressed and fed. We need to go back near the eastern border. We know Jason must have been there for a while."
Marisa gets up. She goes to the bathroom to brush her teeth. She mumbles with the brush in her mouth, "Are we allowed?"
"Since when do you care for permission," I answer as I open our room door to call for spare clothes.
She comes out, "Oh I don't. But should I prepare for a brawl? I fixed my nails yesterday. I wouldn't want to ruin them."
Maddox gets up. He takes the clothes from my hand, "There will be no fighting. We will go to the area and hope for the best. If Helena's mate has a problem with it, then we will find other means to look for Jason."
I noticed his disdain when he said mate. I look at his eyes. There is some sort of disappointment.
"It has to be that area. We have to start there. I know it," I protest.
"Then let's hope your mate won't cause trouble," he answers.
"Call him Zain," I request.
"He is your mate, isn't he," Maddox probes.
"So he says," I answer.
Maddox gets closer to me, "Did you think we were not going to have a conversation? Tell me. You ended our thing because of him."
"We do not have a future. That is why I rejected you," I say.
"It never bothered you before," he moves my hair out my face.
I look away from his stare. I glimpse at Marisa. She is pretending not to listen. I want her to intervene but she believes this conversation needs to be had.
"What's your real question," I eye Maddox.
"Do you love him," he waits for my response.
I couldn't look at him. I don't know what I feel. Love is a strong word. I thought I loved Zain. I mean, I do. I don't know.
Without the necklace on, I feel an ache in my heart. I feel hollow knowing Zain is over with me. His body with mine felt chemical.
It was all in an instant. This mate bond the werewolves have is crazy, out of this world. Something I never thought I would have to experience.
But, here I am having my soul split in two. He has a piece of it. He's been having it since I was born. It's ridiculous.
I didn't believe in their legends, yet the moment the necklace came off, I knew. Can I say that is love?
It feels good. It's intoxicating. It can be a borderline obsession. I don't like that it seems like a lack of free will. I would curse the bond but that would be cursing my connection with Zain.
I can't answer Maddox's question because I don't know the answer.
I back away from him, tying my hair into a ponytail, "I feel the bond."
"That's not what I asked," Maddox crosses his arms.
"I can't answer you. I do not know," I say.
"It's nice to know your feelings were genuine between us," he looks at me with disapproving eyes before exiting the room. The door slams behind him.
I flinch at the sound. Ugh. I hate that he thinks my feelings were superficial. They weren't.
This bond with Zain makes my feelings for Maddox feel fake, but I would argue it's the opposite. Why should my genetic makeup have a say on matters of my heart?
I grunt in frustration before I go to the bathroom to change. My clothes are in the estate so I had to borrow clothes.
Black spandex shorts and an oversized dress T-shirt was available. Luckily I had the comfort of my own white tennis shoes.
I get out of the bathroom and Marisa was waiting for me on the bed.
"Let's head out," I instruct her.
She gets up and follows, "Are you okay?"
We make it out to the hallway. I brush off her question. I don't think it is hard to figure out.
My mate is mad at me. I do not know whether I truly love him or whether I should love him. The person who was my love for the majority of my life thinks of me as shallow.
My brother is missing. I am wearing clothes from others. So, no, would be the answer. I am not okay. When I did not answer her question, she swiftly pecks my cheek.
I stumble. She smiles at me and I couldn't help laugh. She is so random but she achieved her goal. It lessens the tension in my heart.
We make it downstairs with everybody waiting. Maddox is there. We gave everyone instructions to pack up. We were leaving, despite still investigating the area.
Half of our crew will go install themselves in a nearby town. It's 20 minutes away. The other half will come with us to keep looking for any clues in Zain's territory.
I hope he won't have protests. If he does, then we will use the excuse that we need to pick up our belongings from the estate before we leave.
When we get to the area, the vamps were instructed to spread out and sniff for more blood traces. I hoped they wouldn't find more blood for Jason's sake.
I want him to be unharmed. But at the same time, traces of blood can lead us to him.
Marisa, Maddox, and I make it to the area where Maddox snapped, where the smell of mahogany lingered at the time. The area still gave me chills.
The fact that Jason was here for some time while I was not there to help, stirs something dark in my stomach. I didn't help him. I didn't protect him and he was so close.
I decided this area is a good one to try and scribe him. It has his scent the most. I grab Marisa and Maddox's hands. I close my eyes.
Jason is all I think in. His green eyes pop in my head. His olive skin comes to mind. I chant Jason's name.
The smell of mahogany consumes my senses. I do not want to get my hopes up. It's working. A hear a very subtle, 'Helena,' in my head. The voice seems like Jason's but it's so distant that I can't assure.
The connection is not strong enough. I ask, 'Tell me where you are. Jason. Tell me. I'll find you. Jason give a sign.'
I hope that he feels me calling for him. I wish that he is still with Maddie. He can use her to cipher.
I feel a tug in my heart. The smell is more prominent. He felt me. He is trying to connect.
'Helena. Mom. Pack. Mahogany' is all I can decipher.
I try to call out his name for more. There is no response.
My heart elevates. My insides are warm. Then, the very prominent smell of mahogany consumes my senses.
My eyes fly wide open. Blue eyes captured my sight. Zain leaves me breathless.
I release Maddox and Marisa. I never considered myself to have a strong sense of aroma. It might have been the end of the connection with Jason, but I swore that smell surrounded Zain.
I start explaining. He only looks at me.
"We came to check the area. Our things are still here. We are done. We will gather our things and leave," I justify.
He runs his hand through his short hair. He appears disheveled. I wonder if he slept well.
"That's fine. I have a member making their way with them as we speak," he does not look at me in the eyes.
I deluded myself into thinking he would take his words back. He is done with me. It makes him look petty.
My feet seem interesting at the moment. I could not keep my gaze on him. The tears were gathering and he does not deserve them.
I do not know this man. There is no long history with him. I do not know his likes or dislikes. He is a stranger. Yet, I feel lost.
My mother knew. She had to know. I wish I never took the pendant off. I need it. Not for Marisa, for me. To dull these senses.
I look behind me, catch a glimpse of Marisa's fist and it gives me enough courage to gather myself up. She wants to beat him for being so cruel. I want to let her but that won't help.
I clear my throat, "Perfect. We will let you know if we find anything. I request for you to do the same."
"The second we find, the second you will be notified," he assures.
There was more to be said, but he turns away from me. I see nothing but a strong back. He did not deem me worthy enough of a bigger conversation.
For someone who claims to have waited for their mate their whole life, it seems easy for them to leave. He grew up knowing he will have a mate. He believed in that concept. I did not. But, I seem to be the one destroyed.
I do the same and turn. Maddox follows me. He does not say a word. I am glad because he would make it worse.
We meet up with the rest of the crew at the local coffee shop. The town is small. It seems conservative but nice. I haven't said a word. Mostly because I have none.
I take a sip of my coffee. Its bitter taste coats my tongue. I stare at the liquid and my reflection. No sugar clouds it.
I do not recognize myself. I look pathetic. My eyes are sad. My posture is hunched. This should be me for losing my brother, not a so call love.
Marisa gets my attention, "were you able to hear something?"
I had not told them of the message.
I refocus, "Oh yeah, it was jumbled. Only one-word responses. Mom. Pack. Mahogany. That could be anything. He could be telling me to fix mom's bond. That his scent is mahogany. I don't know."
Maddox is sitting with us at the table. He has remained quiet. I have felt his eyes on me though. I bite my lip, thinking.
Marisa redirects Maddox's attention. She asks for his opinion. He shrugs his shoulders. He is at a loss. We continue to sit in silence when someone walks into the coffee shop.
An older man with auburn hair. He has white streaks in his beard. He carries a notepad. He nods his head in greeting and I reciprocate.
However, he looks at Marisa and turns away. She does not notice.
He gets to the counter, "Morning, Sally. I see you have a full house."
"New folk wanting to explore," the elderly lady answers.
"Can't understand why? There is nothing here besides trees and sass," he responds. There is some displeasure in his voice.
He seems to not like our presence.
"Hush. Leave my customers alone, Jerry. Just tell me how much the furniture will be," she reprimands.
He clears his throat, "It's on the house, Sally. You know that. I have you down for a bench. Where would you like it?"
"Outside the store. I think it will be nice to give people an option to sit out there. Now, don't be giving me no cheap stuff because it's free," she says.
"I use the finest of woods. The mahogany truly has a nice color," he insists.
At this, I perk up. Maddox caught it too. This might be a lead.