ROTTEN LOVE - Chapter 26: Chapter 26

Zain did not move me from his embrace. The smell of burned flesh did. I lift my head from his chest.
The first thing I see is his arms. Those strong arms that held me up against him days ago were now charred. Clear handprints were prominent.
The skin is inflamed and red. It was so red that it resembled muscle. I think I seared his skin off. It has to hurt.
While I was crying, apparently I couldn't keep my hands still. He has several prints across his arms. I lift my gaze toward him.
There is no resentment in his eyes. I can see sweat break across his brow. He is pained but is not letting me know.
He is trying to take accountability and sees this as his punishment for the harm he has caused. Yet, I do not believe we are even.
He will heal. It might hurt now but by tomorrow he will be better. However, tomorrow, Marisa and I would still be alone without our brothers.
This moment of vulnerability changes nothing. It has opened my eyes though, given me a sense of clarity.
The truth is that I need Zain, more like his protection while I come up with a plan.
Despite being injured, it is he who lifts me by the arms to my feet. I look at him then retreat my eyes not wanting to let the guilt of burning him get to me.
He allows me to step back into Marisa's embrace. I decide to say the first words.
"We will stay. Marisa, Adam, and I will share a room. You are not to approach them without me present. You will not speak to us unless we ask you something and you will share absolutely everything you know about the Ambroses. Everything. If you cannot comply, then we will leave."
Zain stares me down. His tension grows at the realization that my lapse means nothing to us. He is an enemy.
"I accept your terms."
With that, our conversation ends. Marisa and I installed ourselves in our new room. We decided to settle in the room that used to be Maddox's.
I can't distinguish smell like the vamps and werewolfs but I can feel energy. In some small way, he lingers in this room. His aura is so strong that it has made an impression in the room's air.
It's suffocating not knowing where he is now or the condition he is in.
Adam woke up about an hour later. To no surprise, he quickly searched for Marisa and stopped his hunt when he saw her right by him, staring down.
When their eyes met, she flinched. I saw it. Something like shame in her eyes. Adam didn't ask her anything. He didn't even talk to her.
And when she quickly got up from his side, he gave her space. Marisa was not okay but she had not divulged further with me as to what she saw.
Days went by and there was not much talking from either of them. The guilt was unbearable. What horrors had they gone through to completely silence themselves from me and each other?
They did not speak but they couldn't be more than a couple feet from one another. Marisa would get up. Adam would follow.
He would look out the window. She would settle herself at the chair near the window.
She showered and he handed her a towel. They completed each other's tasks like muscle memory, afraid to stray from the other but in silence.
I thought it would be weird sleeping with them but it wasn't. I needed her as much as she needed support. She clung to me every night and I allowed it.
Not having Maddox or Jason around made me realize how much their presence brought security to me. So when her arms would encompass me, I was reminded of Maddox's.
When I woke up in the middle of the night with such anxiety, her hair and the shape of her mouth reminded me of him, bringing me back to a night of sleep.
It would be the same when I would look in the mirror. When I saw my olive skin and green eyes, I saw Jason. I saw them both in everything I did.
Walking around Zain's compound with no one trailing me, no order to give, or no one to look after was not the relief I thought it would be. Years I craved freedom. I didn't want to be a coven leader.
Now, I resent myself for not appreciating their presence. I would do anything to have them at my side again.
Marisa and I would wake up every morning searching for clues around Jerry's area. Marisa could not remember what happened to Jerry and his body was not found. I pray that means that maybe they took him as ransom.
As long as he lives, their is a chance to get him back. Zain gave us a security detail.
He kept his promise. He would not search for me. He would not approach us. Only when I had a question about the Ambroses would he speak to me. But the responses were cut.
Each time we would see each other around the compound, my body would go on alert. Our eyes would meet before I pushed myself to continue moving forward.
He wouldn't say anything but I could feel the hairs on the back of my neck rise. His eyes would linger. The sensation is similar to electricity around my skin.
Two weeks passed and not a word. There was no progression. The Ambroses didn't contact Zain again. They didn't even return what was taken which Marisa shared as part of the message.
I had assumed Maddie but when nothing arrived, it was unclear as to what they meant. I knew however that Jason and Maddox were alive.
I am not tethered to them but I would know in my soul if my brother left me or this world. Some part of me wants to think I would also know if Maddox was not here with us.
The Ambroses would keep Maddox. They may have been the ones responsible for killing off his line but purebloods are becoming extinct. They can't afford to lose him. At least, not yet.
Not until he went ahead and bedded as many of their ladies in waiting before discarding him. I try not to think about that.
Another day passes.
We were in my room. I was eating at the small round table near the window. Marisa is across from me watching Adam as he stands directly in front of it. His brown eyes focus as he scans the area like every morning.
I chew on a bite of bacon staring at her stern expression. Her eyes are dulled and her skin seems ghostly. She looks sick.
Her wound healed so that should have not been the problem. We discovered that Marisa was stabbed with a knife encased in Mentha. An herb usually used to speed up the body's natural recovery response.
Given that there is nothing natural about Marisa or her body, the herb did the contrary to her. It stopped her healing properties. I had never thought to use the herb like that.
The weapon must have been enchanted as well which made me think of something horrible. Could the reason they wanted Jason was for his power?
They could have him create several things and he would do it if it meant to keep Maddox safe. I guess, if he knows who Maddie is to him, then he would do it even for her.
My wound has also healed. Small cyphering sessions had aided in the recovery. I couldn't close the wound completely with magic but I could take away the pain. I made it bearable. After the two weeks though, it scarred and healed on its own. So I know our infliction is not responsible for her appearance.
I shove another bite of bacon when it hits me.
"When was the last time you fed," I stare at her, realizing that I have not seen her once take from Adam.
Adam has been taking blood from the blood bank. This isn't weird considering he has no other options. Marisa sharing her blood last time when she almost drained him was out of guilt.
It is not common for her to share her blood. But she can take from whoever she wants. She would not eat from a blood bank if she had a choice.
She straightens her back. "Two days ago."
She says dismissively. She wouldn't look like that if it were true. I turn to Adam because he is the only option.
He looks at her, his brows furrowed, then at me. Confirming my suspicions. She is lying.
I decide not to fight her. I'll just ensure she consumes now.
"Well, you need more. You look horrible," I say.
"I'm fine."
"No. You're not. Have you looked in the mirror? Your skin is clammy. Your face is hollow. There are shadows under your eyes. Feed." I point toward Adam.
He stares at her.
She hisses and looks away. "I didn't know you were so pertinent in looks after all these years."
"You know that's not why I am saying it."
"Like I said, I am not hungry." She shrugs.
I asked Adam this time. "How much did you give her?"
He says sternly. "I haven't."
"You didn't give her any two days ago?"
"I haven't given her any since I recovered."
My eyes raise in surprise. That's too much time. She throws Adam a hateful gaze.
I reprimand. "Marisa that's too long. What are you trying to do?"
"I said I drank two days ago not that I drank from Adam."
"Then from who? I don't see a line of Zain's pack members ready to offer themselves up."
She snaps. "You would be surprised who offers themselves to me," she sustains.
Usually, her teases are meant to be funny but I find no humor in her lying. Apparently, neither did Adam. He scoffs, and rolls his eyes, "Sure."
Sarcasm dripped from him.
She eyes him, "your no longer up to par."
He flinches but does not warrant her with a response.
"Then who is," I ask. I stopped eating, giving her my full attention.
She does not answer.
"I want a name."
"I don't know names."
I get up, slamming my hand on the table. "You've always been a picky eater. Your lying."
She does not get up, simply ignores me. "Let it go, Helena."
"No." I walk toward her and grab her wrist. She whips her head at the rough tug.
"Adam come," I order him. I knew he wouldn't have a problem with it. Despite her response, he loves to feed her. He loves her.
He knows it. I know it. His affections were never corresponded given she was infatuated with me. I'm sure, however, she is aware of it too.
He gets to her side of the chair, across from me. We enclose her, and all the while she sits. She stiffens at his proximity.
"I do not want any Helena."
I tug her up and she glares at me. "Adam," I say.
She whips her head to him warning him to stay put then turns to me. I don't back down. I have no idea what strike she is on but starving herself won't do anything.
"Why won't you eat?"
"I can't," she says.
"Won't," I quickly snap.
"Fine won't. I don't want any. So, please, stop this. I can't," her voice uncharestically quivers.
Something was haunting her. She looks at Adam but this time her gaze is scornful. "If you make me again, I will never forgive you."
It's as if Marisa physically hit him with the declaration. He steps back not before saying, "I made you do it. I held you down while they all ... it was my fault. Do not guilt yourselves over this."
I was lost. There was something I was missing. I reach for her shoulder and she shudders. I call her name lowly and her eyes meet mine.
The agony she has been hiding all came to the surface. I saw it now. "Why would you guilt yourself over anything?"
"I killed them," she hesitates. "I killed all of them. I did it, not the Ambroses."
My adrenaline shoots up. She wouldn't hurt any of us. "You were weak. You couldn't have saved them. I don't blame you. That's not you killing them."
"I... I couldn't save our coven. I had no strength but I ... I could have saved our vamps, my vamps... if I had just died... if they had only allowed me to die." I see her fingers twitch. I grab her hand.
"I don't understand." I eye her then Adam.
He starts speaking but never takes his eyes off Marisa. "She wasn't healing. She was dying. Her skin was vastly pale. We were sure she was on the verge of disintegrating. She needed to feed. When one wasn't enough, we quickly realized she would need more but she refused."
I inhaled louder than I had intended. She said she killed them. They fed her.
"They sacrificed themselves for her, didn't they?" I say in understanding.
Adam corrects, "They forced her. She kept saying no but we couldn't allow it. I helped them. She was weakened and I held her down while they..."
He stops and talks directly to Marisa. "We did this. Not you. You had no control. At the state you were in, you couldn't have stopped yourself."
Marisa was gazing out. She was taking herself out from reliving the situation. I place my hand on her cheek and force her to look at me.
"I am so sorry Marisa. I was not there. But this isn't your fault. They would have done anything for you. They treasured you."
She quivers. "And what of me? Is my love not worth anything? Did I have not the right to die for them?"
I don't interrupt her as she continues. "They were my subjects. Mine to protect. That's what the lines do. And they denied me my purpose..."
A tear escapes from her and I wipe it away.
"I said no. I kept chanting no. All I can think about is how their blood felt on the tip of my tongue, the final moments in which their eyes shined right before I muffled out the life from them, and their faces... they were content. They did it willingly and it's eating at me..."
Her breaths increase. I keep my hand on her cheek. I cup her whole face.
"Helena, please, I can't eat anymore. Please I beg you. Don't make me do it." She full-on sobs.
I kiss her forehead before bringing her into my embrace. I had no idea. She told me about my witches but she had spared me the details.
She had been dealing with this all by herself. I didn't even ask. I didn't want to know how they all suffered but didn't think to wonder how Marisa suffered.
She had never cried like this before. She never allows herself to feel these types of emotions. I hold her as tight as I can and kiss the top of her head over and over again.
There is nothing I can do to erase those moments from her life. After a while, her sobs stop. Her head rests on my chest and I continue to cradle her head.
Adam painfully had no choice but to watch the interaction, unable to provide the same consoling. He was unsure if she would like that.
I lift my head from hers. "I will not force you to feed but if you don't, then you know what will happen. Then, for real, they would have died for nothing. You want to show them you love them, then grant their wish. Live."
She stares at me for a long time. "All I see is them. When I think about feeding, I see them. I feel my arms being restrained."
I slide my hands down to hers and squeeze. "Together. We will get through this together. I love you, Marisa. They loved you."
I grab a table knife and slice my wrist. Her eyes instantly go blood lust. She is starving.
She nods no and I make sure not to hold her. I give her the chance to move at her pace.
"Look in my eyes. I am not scared. I adore you, Marisa. When you drink and if their eyes return, keep your gaze on me. Know that every drop has nothing but the desire to cherish and protect you. You are worthy and the blood you take from me would never harm me. It didn't harm them. Remember, you made them happy until the very end. They died feeling fulfilled."
Her eyes never flickered from mine. As she hesitantly grabbed my arm and brought it to her lips, I kept my sight on her. She moved at her pace. When she finally took a slow slip, her eyes remained on me.
Her lips were soft against my skin. She was unhurried and tentative. She wanted to make sure she did not hurt me even though I could tell she needed more.
Not just blood but more of everything. Being in the state she is, her senses must be heightened. Nonetheless, she kept her slow pace. She lost eye contact to look down.
She wants to ensure she keeps her speed. It's taking every control she has not to truly slurp it down. Then, she stopped and looked at me.
It is not near enough.
"Thank you," she says to me.
I simply smile at her and move my thumb across her cheek. "Anytime."
She was not going to take any more. Not unless I helped her. Unless I coerced her.
I wanted to help erase every bad sensation she has connected with feeding.
I get closer to her. Her lips a step away. I move my fingers across her face and place a hair strand behind her ear slowly.
Her breath hitches, "Helena, what are you..."
My lips silence hers as they dedicatedly contact hers. Her eyes widen. She goes completely rigid. I slide my hand down her neck, feeling her pulse beneath my palm.
The strong beating against it sent shivers down me. She wants me. She has always wanted me and I want her.
I want her to feel everything I had said. To know that she is worthy of living. She was worthy of their sacrifices.
Through me, I want her to feel all the love they had for her and all the love she will continue to have from me as we aid in her recovery. I do not feel repulsed by her.
How could I?
She was a beautiful girl. Her soft lips, delicate frame, and gorgeous eyes would shatter anyone's world. Although she may not be my match, at this moment, she needs to be cared for.
My lips put more pressure on hers and I see as her eyes become hooded. Her hands rest on my shoulders before she brings them to my face, cupping my cheeks.
Her lips start to move and I feel the end of her resolve.
But she needs more. She doesn't only need me.
I glide my lips once more before pulling away. Her eyes squint in protest and I smile. Finally, she smiles and the sight melts me.
I hold her face in my hands and divert my gaze to Adam who has gone completely motionless.
She follows my gaze. I see it in her eyes. She wants him too.