ROTTEN LOVE - Chapter 30: Chapter 30

I couldn't get to our room fast enough. I hear Zain's heavy steps right behind me as we climb up the stairs.
As we got closer to the door, I tried to listen in for any sign of them. A laugh. A whisper. Even a moan. Anything.
But I did not hear a sound pass my beating heart. I heard a constant ring in my ears.
Once I get to the door, I bang it open. The sound is loud and clear. It would make everyone jump, except Marisa.
I look inside the room, scanning it from one side to the other. At first, my glance is so brief that I completely miss them. Until I hear her snarky voice.
"My invitation to our bed no longer includes the dog. I'm afraid Adam and I have better taste," she eyes Zain with distaste.
She sits on Adam's lap. Her feet dangling to the floor and her body leaned into his chest. His arm craddles her hip. They are the image of tranquility.
I rush toward her and bring my arms around her neck. I cling to her out of relief, almost knocking her off Adam. He brings his hand behind her back for extra support.
Marisa keeps her comments for a brief second. She is confused but comprehends I need this hug. After a quick second, I let go and she led me to sit, holding my hand.
We both sat on Adam, one on each knee. I didn't notice at first and Adam did not seem to care.
Marisa squeezes my hand in between us.
"Do I even want to know why you reek of dog and are underdress," she raises her eyebrows.
I laugh at the insult because I'm glad that she can throw jabs at me. I seriously thought I had broken her or put Adam in danger again.
I became aware of my state and my proximity to Adam by a tug in my abdomen. I am lifted off effortlessly, pulled back against a strong chest.
I used my hands to steady myself against the impact. I didn't mean to be thoughtless. It wasn't my intention to provoke Zain. Not for Zain's sake but I know how Marisa gets when she thinks someone is controlling me.
"Helena, tell me my eyes are deceiving me," she gets up from Adam's lap. Adam steadily gets up behind her.
His hand was on her waist. He senses the change in her tone.
"Depends on what they are telling you," I try to smile it out.
"Oh don't even try it. You mated the dog. Have you lost your mind?"
Zain interjects. His hands lay firmly on my shoulders, "I can say many things but I won't for the benefit of Helena."
"You wouldn't dare say a word to me. You are unworthy and she has forgotten everything we have lost because of you," Marisa pierces me with her eyes.
"I am aware of what he has done. It's complicated."
"It's not. We don't fuck those who kill our friends. It's plain and simple." She says it like an adult talking down to a child.
"Zain didn't kill them."
"No, he only gave them the information on how to find us."
Zain squeezes my shoulder. I can tell he is trying to stay patient. "I did not. I admit to communicating with them prior. But that's all. The deal was they told me who my mate is and I got the Malfattos here. They never told me what they were going to do or how. This is my territory. I thought I would notice if they trespassed it so I was not worried about them taking action without my notice. It was a error."
Marisa rolls her eyes. "So you expect me to forgive you based on a technicality."
"I did not ask for your forgiveness. I do not covet it. Helena is what's important to me. All I wanted was to find her. Once I did and found out how intertwined the Malfattos were with her, I kept heavy security. I knew all they wanted was you in the area but this is my area. I run these woods. I haven't figured out how they came into my territory to abduct Maddie and Jason. I'm even more intrigued on how they also got into town without even a peep."
"Sounds to me like you don't know how to run your pack," Marisa bites his head off.
Zain growls. "I'm looking into it."
I notice the short, clipped answer.
I turn my head up. "You think there is a mole in your pack."
Zain looks at me. "No one could have gotten in here undetected without inside help."
It could be a pack member. It could be a townspeople. I want to believe Zain, that he was blindsided as much as we were.
"How convenient," Marisa glares. She eyes me down.
Scans me from head to toe. It could have been my bare feet, the oversized shirt, or the way my nipples protrude against the shirt.
"Why did you come barging in here?" She asks.
I was so relieved and anxious about her interaction with Zain that I forgot the real reason I was there. I take a step forward. I inspect her.
She is unharmed which was not my concern. My concern centered around Adam becoming a victim of a blood lust episode.
He is also unharmed and by the state of things very well taken care of.
"I was worried. I...we didn't think before... Zain and I did not plan on our time together," I stumble to find the words.
"You mean you didn't plan on fucking him." She is still upset.
"No, Marisa, it was not planned. It happened."
She rolls her eyes, "perhaps, from you."
Zain tenses, "Not that it's any of your business but I love Helena. We did what was natural and there is nothing you can do to stop what has been completed. I won't ever part from her again."
I looked to the floor because the moment we came together, I knew I had messed up. Zain is right. He has not earned my trust back. He won't until he gets everyone home.
But I won't stay away from him. Being with him, just having him at my back, feels safe and I feel a strength.
His strength radiates to me. Maybe, it's my cipher side.
I don't want to think that I need someone to feed off but it's who I am. I can't protect anyone without a power source. For such a long time, it's been Maddox and Marisa. There was nothing compared to their power.
It overwhelms me sometimes but Zain feels simply right. Like he can never overpower but complement my ability. I never fear burning out with him or not being enough.
Marisa scoffs at my silence. "Your point is?"
"Marisa. When me and Zain made out, you almost sucked the life out of Adam," I get to the point.
Her eyes squint. She understands now. "I didn't feel anything." She gets closer to me.
I close the distance. I grab her hand. I have no idea what's going on but something is not normal. There is some type of distance between us that wasn't there.
She squeezes my hand and runs the other down my arm. She notices it too. We were distracted in our endeavors but our attention is focused now. We are not the same.
"Wolfman, this is your chance to get back at me. Claw me." She orders Zain.
Zain gets to my side. "I don't think so."
Marisa looks at me. We have our suspicion and we will confirm it.
I look at him. "Do it Zain. Make it shallow but big enough to bleed. We have to be able to see it."
"Helena, I'm not going to hurt you."
"Do it Zain. If we are right, then you won't."
"And if you are wrong?"
"I will heal. You are not inflicting a fatal wound. It's okay." I give him a tentative smile. Zain studies my face.
Adam moves closer. I hear a sigh but it's confirmation enough from Zain that he will do it.
I don't feel relief. I want to be wrong. I want to be injured. I can't think of a time I was not connected to Marisa. In a way, our bond kept us both safe.
Zain looks at Marisa. "Are you ready?"
"Yes." She grits through her teeth. I squeeze her hand and keep my eyes on hers.
I don't blink. I don't breathe. Yet, somehow the instance is gone.
There is a movement from beside me and then I see Marisa crinkle her nose. I look down at her and notice a claw mark running down her arm.
It's shallow but blood runs down. I look at my arm next and notice nothing. Marisa eyes me too. Nothing.
We give it a minute. We give it five. It's not always instant. Sometimes it's behind.
But there is nothing. I did not get the wound. Still in contact with her, I hover my hand over the slash, healing her. The slash was so shallow it closed up instantly.
I let go of her hand and hug myself at the realization. For the first time, me and Marisa are not one. I am no longer responsible for her well-being and she is no longer responsible for my injuries.
We are two separate people. It feels wrong. It feels empty. Everything I took for granted is coming back to bite me in the ass.
I didn't appreciate my role as a leader and there is no one to lead anymore. I wanted nothing more than to be my person and I'm that. Yet, I feel exposed.
I need to be closer to Marisa more than ever to protect her.
Zain says, "Your bond is broken."