ROTTEN LOVE - Chapter 42: Chapter 42

The proposition becomes an actual question. It's not a trick. They need me to be with Maddox.
My mouth is slightly ajar at the revelation. I glimpse at Maddox. His face is stoic. His eyes are down. Until he senses me.
He flicks his gaze up, eyes shining with something unknown. For me, they have been a beacon. Always drawing me to him, to safety.
Now, underneath his golden iris, I don't see comfort. His luminous eyes draw me more to him. At my blatant staring, I see the corner of his mouth quirk up.
There is mischief in his gaze. I bite down on my lip at how nervous I am feeling. Then, like a switch, his eyes transition.
This Maddox is dangerous. He is harmful to me, unhealthy for my sanity and relationship.
I divert my gaze to my hands. I couldn't look into his eyes anymore without burning in them.
Large, warm hands are the first thing in view. I curse as I remind myself Zain is my mate. My mother has screwed us both over with the mess she has created.
Being with Zain is natural and instant. I reflect on Maddie's words.
I will protect my pack.
I always had.
The tiny pale hand in my other hand shakes me. How can I help Marisa without letting go of the hand that refuses to let me go?
Zain said it last night. He won't. He will never give up on me. Even if I don't pick him, he will still pick me forever. I can't do him wrong.
I don't want to hurt him. He does not deserve it.
The pale hand moves again. I glimpse up at her in confusion and she raises an eyebrow. Right, they are waiting for an answer.
I exhale and glimpse at Zain. I can tell he is holding back. He is waiting for my move.
I keep my gaze on him as I answer, but I let go of his hand. "So you want me to give up on my mate and marry Maddox because my mother has hexed you all?You are asking me to produce a baby with him. If I do this, then you will create a pact with Zain. My coven will be safe. That's the proposition. On the contrary, you will target them."
As I speak, I can see Zain's eyes go back and forward. He searches for something in me. Maybe, a sign of what my answer will be.
He tenses. Then relaxes. He can't figure me out. I haven't even figured it out. He is on the verge of shifting several times but he contains it.
I search for an answer in his eyes. I want to figure out his opinion. But I don't know where his mind is at.
A smooth voice cuts through me, "Amica mea."
I cut my gaze to look at Maddox. He has never begged anyone in his life. He is a willful man. But that's exactly what his eyes are doing.
There are no words. No movements from him. Yet his eyes are doing all the talking. I suck in a deep breath.
Zain broke my daze. "Do the words mate not register in your cold, hard head? Helena and I are a pair, ordained by our goddess. As Jason is meant for my sister, so that's another no. The Thorns are spoken for."
He does not want me to agree. I knew he wouldn't but does he truly understand the extremity of denying the proposal?
"Ahh yes. It's the reason we are here in the first place. Cheryl had to protect her children from the bad bloodsuckers because they were destined to the wolves," Arthur laughs but it is a cold one.
The hairs on my body stand. It's the fact that he is so relaxed but his voice conveys the underlying threat.
Zain matches his condescending tone, "Cheryl, against my initial thoughts, turned out to be a loyal pack member. She denied me my mate all these years but I think she knew we would reconnect. She doomed your species. This news was worth the trip, after all. Helena will not marry Maddox."
My mother was loyal. Turns out, to a different species.
Something builds inside me. It's not admiration. It's something darker.
Hate is a strong word. I don't hate her. How can I loathe the woman who tried everything in her power to keep me safe?
Key word tried.
I have to either say no to the vampires or betray my mate. She has put me in the middle and I am not thankful. I could understand her thought process but I think it was a selfish decision she took bonding us to the Malfattos.
She underestimated the connection I would build with them. How hurtful it would be to dam them willingly and I don't think I can.
Maddox leans forward to the table and places his hand on top of it. He taps loudly before answering, "The question was not for you. It's Helena who needs to respond." He turns to eye me next.
"Amica mea, I will not pressure you into doing anything. This is your choice. But if even a small piece of you wonders what is going on in my mind, then listen. While I am quite surprised about the actions Mrs. Thorn took, I can understand them. Whether I sire children or live a loveless marriage, it is of no concern. It has been my destiny from the beginning..."
I hang on to every word. He sits straigther.
"You and I were never meant to be, yet we happened. Years of stares, hidden words, and wanting transpired. We respected the boundary that was put out against us, but it's gone. Now, there is no one telling us no. I don't want more years of yearning. Amica mea, I would like an eternity of having time with you," Maddox finishes off. His eyes a new hue.
They aren't his usual amber eyes, but they aren't red. They are a mixture of the two. He is letting me know. He is not the same.
He will play by their rules. He will be the pureblood vampire they want him to be but he is going to take what he wants.
His eyes for the first time reveal his true desires.
Me.
And I don't know how to act. Instead, I respond, "Any children I have with Maddox will not be accepted in my world or his. You won't regard them as a pureblood. I will not do that to them. What if I can't bear children, his children? To bring a vampire into this world, the fetus must be nourished by the mother. It increases the mother's thirst. It's a dangerous game. If the fetus does not get enough blood consumption from the inside, it can kill the mother or be born a stillborn. I cannot provide them with that. You all have no idea what you are asking."
Arthur answers, "Your child will not be a pureblood. But, they will be our savior. They will be in an entire category on their own and we will welcome them. We will welcome you and your coven."
Zain snorts and crosses his arms across his chest. I am not sure why he has not interrupted. Perhaps, he is allowing me to get all the answers I need. Maybe, he thinks they will reveal more information that will debilitate them.
After all, allowing your enemy to know that you are having a reproduction issue is not smart. Zain and his pack can communicate to the other werewolves that they have to only wait out the vamps extinction. He doesn't even react to Maddox's confession. He is a picture of pure composure.
However, his eyes show the storm beneath the calm exterior. He is waiting. I fear for when his patience is down.
Zain quickly counters, "The vamps want to play nice all of a sudden. Don't make me laugh. You're only using Helena. When he fucks her and she births the monstrosity, you will kill her."
I flinch at his words. His reference towards any potential children of mine and Maddox hurt. Somewhat offends me. I'm defensive about something that has not even occurred. Does it hurt because deep down I have decided?
Arthur answers, "We will not. Times have changed pup. Remember, everyone at this table has lived probably twice as long as you except the Malfattos. We are a product of our time. Right now, it's either we adapt or we die. As you pointed out, we preserve ourselves and do anything to live. If that means to unite with the Thorns, then we will. It's you who is close-minded. I seem to recall that we have even extended an olive branch to your pack if Helena accepts. Should you choose not to accept it, then who is the close-minded species?"
Zain links me, 'I have heard what I need. Let's go.'
I tighten my squeeze on Marisa's hand, 'I can't doom them of such fate.'
'What of our fate? You wish to throw away the work of your mother.'
'I want to correct her work. She was wrong for using me. Wrong for damming them. She did not want peace. She wanted your pack to win.'
He turns to look at me sternly, 'Our pack, Helena. '
I don't want to betray him. I don't want to be unloyal to Marisa and Maddox. I try to find a middle ground.
"I don't have to marry Maddox to have children. I can still be with my mate," I blurt out. My heart racing at the proposition I threw out.
Arthur's eyebrows raise. "Forgive us, for we are old-fashioned. We did not peg you out to be... if that is Lord Malfatto's wish, then we will allow it." He looks at Maddox.
Maddox's jaw ticks. I can see his displeasure, "would your little wolf even allow his mate out of her cage for such visits?"
I can sense Maddox's irritation at the suggestion.
Zain booms, "I would not."
Maddox replies, "Then, there's no point to entertain the thought. He has decided. Me or him. Who will it be?"