ROTTEN LOVE - Chapter 44: Chapter 44

No one spoke on the drive home. Once inside the compound, Jason spoke first, "That was exhilarating."
I give him a small smile. He is trying to cut the tension. He places his hands on my arm, "Don't fret tonight, sis. Tomorrow we will figure it out." He places a kiss on my forehead.
I missed his comfort. By the kind gesture, he missed me too and I'm glad to be together again. He is in the same situation.
They might want me but it could be him. He could fulfill the hex too. He is aware.
I hear a scoff from the side. Maddie's legs shake as she crosses her arms. She is impatient.
The blatant display of dissatisfaction ticks me off. "Any words for me," I ask her.
"None that you would want to hear," she rolls her eyes and looks away. Jason leaves my side to go to her. He places that same gentle kiss on her temple.
Zain eyes the interaction but remains quiet like he did the whole drive home. Jason questions, "I assume I can take the same room."
Maddie answers, "Follow me to my room. Well, ours now."
A single-word reply is heard from Jason, "Sweet," as he obeys her.
Before they disappear, I hear Maddie's remark, "Savor the last nights you have with your mate, witch. We both know you won't stay here long."
I'm upset at the judgment. This isn't easy. It's easy for her but she isn't the one in the middle.
I could reply but I'm mentally exhausted. I turn to look at Zain who has been quiet, standing by the door. His silence pisses me off.
"What," I make a face to him.
He eyes me. His gaze scans my body then leaves like I was not worth his time. "Not tonight, Helena."
"Hey don't leave," I pull his arm back.
"Not today. I got to see how my mate-eyed fucked a vampire and remained quiet. How my other half consider leaving and mothering a child that was not mine. Not fucking now, Helena." He aggressively pulls his arm back.
"This isn't fair. I didn't ask for this," I yell. "Do you have any idea what I am feeling? I just left my entire life back there with those aristocrat assholes." I flail my arms.
He steps into my face. "That's the problem. The Malfattos should not be your life." He motions around us, "This should be it. This home. This pack. The land. This should be your life. Your mother had a clue, too bad you can't seem to take the hint."
I scoff, "You weren't saying that about a day ago. You hated her."
"That's before I found out the sacrifices she made to help this pack thrive. She tipped the balances to the werewolves," he argues.
"The only thing she sacrificed was me and my brother," I start to get angry.
I've been keeping it in for so long.
"It shouldn't have been a sacrifice. She probably was aware of it. She expected the bond to help. It should be pretty fucking easy. You follow your mate. You fight for them. She didn't see it as a sacrifice," Zain replies.
"Everything is easy then. I'm supposed to completely abandon my best friend. Throw away years of love and servitude because you say so."
"If your mom would have cursed us, and the only way to have another werewolf baby is for me to sleep with another she-wolf, then you are telling me you will be okay with it. Now, mix in the fact, what if I knew this she-wolf my entire life, at one point I even loved her. Would you still say go Zain, fuck her, for the good of your kind? Even if you understood the logic, the importance of such an act, you would not allow it, Helena..."
He touches my arms and brings me closer to him.
"Because I am yours. The thought of sharing me with someone else would repulse and hurt you. Then, there's the thought that I fathered another child that was not yours. I would never abandon any kid of mine, could you?"
No. I answer to myself.
"That would link me to its mother permanently in some way. Not to mention it could take several attempts before it sticks." He sighs and moves his hands up and down my arms.
"Helena, this is too much for me. I ask for you to step in my shoes. I am aware of who they are to you. Maybe because of that it makes it even harder to accept it. I ask for once just let it go. You told me you never wanted to be in this fight. I'm begging you now, do that and leave the ring," Zain gets closer to face.
All his words sink in. I can see him try to lean in for a kiss but I tilt my head to the side and hug him instead, allowing his head to rest on mine.
The night with Zain felt off. We both left the conversation there and didn't discuss the matter anymore but you could feel the tension. When we slept, I allowed him to encompass me in his embrace.
He is so warm and his breathing so steady. It should have been comforting. Instead, I overheated several times during the night. This brought my mind to Marisa and Maddox.
I never had this problem with them.
Waking up in the morning felt very empty. I didn't do anything particularly different.
I took a shower. Changed into pants and a blouse. I ate. Yet it felt foreign.
Maybe it's the fact that my friends aren't with me and I might not see them again. I'm overthinking.
Zain and Maddie went to speak to their pack. As soon as she came into land yesterday, I saw the look in their pack members eyes'. They fonded over her. Her absence was noticed.
Zain claimed over breakfast they had to do routine pack staff but I noticed a series air around us. The increase in scrap battles and simulations.
He is preparing for war. He doesn't have to tell me. Maddie's intense fight regime with the females and Zain's constant links in the morning gave it away.
The unsettling thing is that I'm not sure if he is preparing for the war because he believes I will say yes to the deal, to stop me, or even if I say no, he is preparing to exterminate them knowing their days are counted.
I'm walking toward the hidden nook when I run into Jason.
"Exactly the witch I wanted to see," he greets me.
"Good cause I'm the only one here," I shrug, hesitantly smiling, "you need something?"
"Besides spending time with my charming sister," he answers.
"Careful. Your little wolf might hang you for spending time with a traitor."
He puts his arm around me and leans on me. "Oh come on, she means no harm."
I start walking forward again and he follows. "To you. All she ever wanted was to kill me. She hates me."
"She is very protective over Zain. She's a good girl, sis," he defends.
He removes his arm from my shoulder and rubs the back of his neck. Mentioning her makes him look like a schoolgirl in love.
I've never seen him so into someone. "If you like her, then I can pretend to do the same," I joke. He shoves me and I shove him back laughing.
We make it to the library.
"Going to check out a book?"
I continue walking to the wall and pull down the book lever, opening the door to the secret room.
Jason whistles. "That's cool."
I laugh as I step in, "it was Mom's"
He walks in and gives it a good look. "Her smell lingers... why are you here?"
I walk to the desk which contains her journals. "I'm not sure. I thought it would be a good start. I have no idea where to go from here."
"This is when she was our age or younger. You wouldn't find anything useful here."
"You don't randomly get into blood magic. She must have gotten involved even during her time here."
"So you suspect."
"I hope," I reply. I grab open a journal and read the title, property of Cheryl Levine.
I read the first entrance, Jason leaning over my shoulder following along.
Nathaniel is getting on my nerves. He is up my ass all the time. Liam keeps telling me to leave home. He will take care of me. I constantly think about the offer but I can't leave the pack. Alpha and Luna have been parents to me. More than anything I want to tell them the truth, about the prophecy and Nathaniel's obsession to keep me on a leash. Reality, keep my future children under control. I don't even want them. Not if they can't be free. Seems cruel to give birth and use them the way he intends to. He means well but I need to come up with a plan. I don't know when they will be born but I need to figure out a way to sate Nathaniel. He needs to understand we are safe and that way my children will be. I recently heard about a different type of magic. Amara says it's dark and dangerous. I should not look into it but if it gets me to my goal, I will.
This must be one of her later journals but to my luck, exactly the one I need it seems. Two things are apparent. First, in this journal, I will get to see when she shifted.
The dark magic must be the blood magic. My theories were correct. She didn't just learn it in Vales. She had prior knowledge. Second, the past did not stay there.
For the witch who trained my mother, who taught her everything, and knew about dark magic is the same witch who raised me and Jason when our parents died, Amara.