ROTTEN LOVE - Chapter 51: Chapter 51

I'm not sure whether I ran to him or he got to me first. But, seconds after I noticed Zain's intentions, I was in front of him.
Zain was fuming, body shaking. He wants to lose control and give in to his primal side, let the wolf out. Yet, the moment he started running, I also saw him fight an urge.
He doesn't want to hurt me.
My arms around his torso stun him. I latch on, letting out, "I'm so sorry. Please don't do it."
I assume that although it appears he ran to me, it was Maddox and Marisa he wanted.
At first, I felt no movement, just his torso contracting. Then, rough hands on my biceps pushed me off. He has me in a grip in front of him.
I search his eyes and he is lost in a sea of emotions, the color of his orbs reflecting the chaos.
His voice was raw and hurting, "there was no other way. You couldn't find how to break the curse so you had to go to him. You brought them here because you don't want them in danger after the Ambroses realize that you can't do it anymore. It was a one-time thing."
I realize why he has restraint.
Hope.
It crushes me even more that he is holding on, especially as I start to feel a similar pang. My soul realizes that I am at the point of denying its mate.
He is upset, but he would forgive me if I said that he was right. If I state that I had to try at least once to lay with Maddox in hopes of having a child, in hopes of starting a treaty with the vamps and creating a sense of peace.
He would take me back and them in, if I said I wouldn't do it again. That I needed to protect my friends. I know he would.
He would do anything to prevent the devastating words he is praying won't come out. The words that would end us and his control. But, I have to.
I shake my head slowly, "it's not important why they are here. I am here to apologize. Zain, it's not a one-time thing."
His hands open then close again around my biceps, adjusting, "Why are you apologizing?"
He still wishes.
My heart pounds as I become aware of how brutal I will have to be. "For choosing him," I indicate to the back of me, my gaze shifting.
Maddox honed a cold stare. His hands were behind like they often are. Years of being at his side make me realize that it's his way of restraining himself. He is someone who has always had to put up a front and be on his best behavior, the Malfatto heir.
Such limitation and discipline have caused high emotions. But, he can't act out. So he portrays an air of emotionlessness and places his hands behind his back.
However, I look into those stern golden eyes and it's clear to me he is anything but indifferent. He hates that Zain is touching me harshly. He loathes the fact that it's partly my fault, for running towards and not away from Zain.
And, he despises that I made him promise to let me handle the situation. He is trying to comply.
Marisa, on the other hand, her grey eyes focus on Zain, targeting. I understand my time is limited as her hands, fold and unfold.
Unlike Maddox, she won't control herself. She never has. The pressure was never on her to act appropriately. With Maddox's vigilance, my girl has had the freedom to act without thinking.
The only reason she isn't acting is due to her tall shadow lingering steps behind her. His hand at her back, comforting her. Not controlling her. No one can do that.
I give a silent thanks to Adam for adhering to my silent request. A growl brings my attention forefront again.
"Not for a one-time mistake," he formulates.
"No, it was not a mistake," I confirm.
I choose Maddox, silent admission.
He lets go of me quickly as if my skin is on fire and straightens up. His chaotic blue eyes turned clearer, calculative.
I take a step back and hesitantly say his name. He looks away and his gaze focuses beyond me toward the Malfattos.
I say his name again but this time in warning. My voice is more stern but he does not look at me.
I had to complete my thoughts and hope they hit home, "You didn't deserve it. I am not sorry for being with Maddox, but I should have realized my feelings before hand and ended things with you and me. No one deserves to be cheated on."
"I was never wrong about you. You came into his life to hurt him. Get your lot and leave. Never come back or I won't hold back any longer," Maddie's voice gets closer as she walks to Zain's side, placing her hand in his.
Her eyes are full of accusations. A charge full of accuracy. I did come into his life to wound him. But it was not my fault because, from the very beginning, he searched for me.
He worked with the Ambroses without studying them appropriately and learning their true motives. They played him and he played me. We both were in the wrong so her hatred is displaced.
"You recall that your threats are of no consequence to me. I am not scared of you, Maddie. Do not interfere because each time you do, you put my brother in a tough spot," I eye Jason who is standing next to her.
His hands were in his jean pockets. A similar habit to Maddox.
I direct my attention to Zain, "Nothing the vamps do will get me to hurt the werewolves. You have my word. I will never cast anything against you all. I do not want you to think they have gained a weapon. I'm not with them. I'm with Maddox."
At the end of my words, he deems it time to look at me. Those eyes stared me down and shivers ran along my arms, not in a pleasing way.
"You are confused, Helena," his voice did not sound right.
His tone was almost condescending like I could have been scolded into loving him.
"No. Confusion is what I have when I am with you. Zain, I didn't know you but was willing to throw away real lifelong relationships with them because my body is doing some weird reaction thing at your proximity. That isn't right. I should love you because of the things we have gone through not for the things we could go through," I focus on his demeanor.
"You should love me because I am your mate. You are denying yourself our chance to be happy. He won't love you like I do. He will never cherish you like I can. You were made for me and it's not a weird thing. Our bodies seek each other because it's chemical. Nothing about him is natural but this is," he points between us.
I hated the way he kept telling me about my feelings and I loath even more what he thinks he knows about my relationship with Maddox.
"I won't tell you what Maddox feels for me because only he can do that but I love him. I can tell you the things he has done. He has stuck by my side my whole life. He has allowed me to make my own decisions while still keeping watch. He doesn't tell me what to do or who to love. He is not expecting me to pick a side, simply to be at his side. I don't need to be cherished. I need to be respected and he does that plus some..."
I pause to give Maddox another glimpse. He nods his head in acknowledgment of my words. A silent thank you and agreement.
"I didn't come to justify my feelings. I came to show my face and apologize. To also remind you that the vamps will not attack since they have me. This isn't the reason why I am with Maddox. But it's a good thing for the wolves. I won't attack you ever. They won't get me to act against you. I expect you know that. I might not be with you but I will not harm you further."
He stayed silent and it was suffocating. His eyes just kept trailing my body and I get the familiar sense of dread from earlier.
At his lack of words, I pivot to walk back to my companions but a sickening laugh halts further movement.
His voice was low and menacing. "My dear Helena, you are right about one thing, they will not attack."
His arms wrap around me from behind. He has me on a stronghold. My back hits his chest and my adrenaline picks up. I can feel his mouth on the outside of my ear, "Not when I got the only thing preventing their extinction."