Same But Different - Chapter 24: Chapter 24

Riley Smith
“Okay, I am officially the worst alter in the world. I know I was supposed to be there for you Yuri and I always will be but I sort of spaced out in that closet. Whitney was an animal and the last thing I remember was thinking why would you get yourself into such a situation like this again? And then poof I was gone and you came back. I am really sorry. Although my curiosity is getting the best of me, so I want to ask you what happened next but I am not going to. Geez I’m not even making sense. Ugh I am so sorry Yuri.. Again. I am such a dick. Even though I don’t own one which of course you know because we both have one body and we are a girl. Shit. I suck at this. Bye”
Yuri replayed Sasha’s video update again and laughed throughout her awkward way of apologizing. If it was the old times, she was sure she’d be pissed off. But times have changed and so have she. It was a new beginning of something even Yuri couldn’t describe. Last night was blurry but her conscious was still intact. Yuri’s curiosity had become the main topic of conversation between her and Jason.
All Yuri knew was that her feelings wasn’t convenient, it was wrong. Not that she had the best judge of character lately, but liking the things Whitney was doing to her in that closet, was purely wrong. Whitney was a straight girl and so was Yuri. Yuri recalled her body being electrified, a feeling she had never known.
“It’s still wrong” her mind reminded her. It wasn’t like Yuri was falling for Whitney either but what were the chances of her falling for a girl now? It was highly likely that it could happen and Yuri was terrified. Maybe she was thinking too hard about this, maybe it was just the heat of the moment. Her mind immediately blocked the thoughts about her ever kissing another girl. Well that’s the thing about the brain, you can shut it off for a few minutes but when reality hits, everything explodes and every denial finds its way out in the open to scream out the truth.
“But what is exactly the truth?” Yuri whispered to the tensed air. It had been six months ever since Sasha had showed up. “It’s been six months” Yuri whispered again realizing that six months before she had no true friend, suffered from a broken heart and was a heartless bitch.
Snapping back to reality, Yuri thought about the one person who she really needed right now. The one person she had pushed away. Yuri had caused so much chaos in Belle’s life that it wasn’t even right to get in contact with her. But she was the only one who knows everything, the only one who would understand. Without thinking more Yuri opened her laptop and typed. Her fingers typed eagerly waiting to check Belle’s whereabouts. Yuri’s face book account was already logged onto, and Belle’s page was already checked.
“I guess Sasha got here first then” Yuri thought as she clicked on to the pictures Belle posted recently. The screen showed a list of recent pictures of Belle, mostly drinking coffee, more pictures of the sunset and Eiffel tower.
“Geez show off much” Yuri muttered rolling her eyes. Finally Yuri landed to a picture of Belle with another girl, both holding hands and closer than they should be.
“Shit” Yuri thought. She had been so consumed with her own life lately that she haven’t even stopped and asked Sasha how she was doing. And finding this picture would break Sasha’s heart because of their history together. A message popped up at the corner as soon as Yuri tried to close her laptop. She clicked the orange icon which led to a website. Yuri stared at the screen curiously as it loaded.
“Find your perfect female partner here on www.soulmates/forlife. We match your interests and help you find ‘the one’” Yuri muttered as she scrolled down. Her face covered from utter shock realizing that Sasha had applied for online dating. Online Dating? Sasha? All confused Yuri stared at the screen for a minute unable to process the information.
“Why would she do this?” Yuri thought.
“Because I was lonely” Sasha’s whisper pierces through her mind. It was indeed Sasha’s profile, she had written down her details and her likes and to Yuri’s amusement four other girls had liked what she had written and wants to talk to her.  “Prrf lets see who wants to talk to Sasha”
“Emily Watson, 18 loves pets, wants to be a veteran when she grows up. So cliché’” Yuri blurted out immediately pressing delete.
“Mindy K Jones 18 loves making others smile, wants to be a singer when she grows up. Ugh no way” delete.
“Okay who else is there?” Yuri murmured under her breath clicking and checking for more people on Sasha’s list.
“Penelope Mason, she looks like your type” spoke a voice behind her. Yuri froze. She turned around to see Jason standing behind her. At this point no words seemed to float out from her mouth. She just stared at Jason. Silence aired their surrounding but Yuri managed to snap out from it.
“How long were you standing there?” Yuri cleared her throat and asked. Her fingers ran through her hair nervous that Jason might now know about Sasha.
“I was going to surprise you but then you surprised me. Oh and your mum let me in” Jason chuckled. He walked towards Yuri, and sat in front of her.
“Hey, I am not going to bite. Yuri you have to trust me, I am not going to judge you, ever” Jason spoke kindly. His sincerity was appreciated but Yuri was far from trusting anyone with how she felt because she wasn’t sure herself about her own feelings.
“It’s not what you think Jason”
“Then what is it? Because it looks like you are searching for a potential girlfriend at this point.” He eyed at the laptop screen. Yuri closed the site immediately before he could see that it was logged in from Sasha’s account.
“I am still not sure, I still can’t wrap my mind around the whole thing” Yuri spoke quickly, trying to catch Jason’s attention away from the laptop.
“So let me help you. BiCurious 101 The key to realization is always communication. Move over” Jason took Yuri’s place and opened the website again. This time it wasn’t logged in to Sasha’s account. Yuri led out a huge breath of relief and watched Jason who was now pathetically trying to somehow prove a point.
“Okay let’s see” He knew his way around a laptop because he typed as if he was flash.
Name: Yuri Williams
“No I don’t want an account on this lame site. It makes me look stupid which I am clearly not” Yuri objected. There wasn’t much she could do to stop Jason. He is stubborn as stone and she couldn’t do anything about it.
“Alright then” Jason nodded.
Name: Riley Smith
Age: 18
“Riley Smith? Really? And since when did I become 18?” Yuri objected again. Deep down she knew this was a bad idea but how bad would it actually get? That she had yet to find out.
“Since you aren’t comfortable using your own name, we’ll use this decoy name and if I remember correctly, you are going to be 18 day after tomorrow, so I don’t really see the harm” Jason concluded. Day after tomorrow was her birthday and she had completely forgotten about it. Juggling with an alter, a psychotic father and a possibility of being bi-curious usually does that to people.
“Hmm” was all Yuri could say at this point.
Interests: Sports, Books, Girls, Having fun etc.
“That’s the exact opposite of who I am” Yuri interrupted Jason.
“That’s exactly my point. You can attract boys with your charm Yuri, but girls are . . . well, girls” Jason eyed at Yuri. He was clearly giving his ‘I know more about girls than you do’ look.
What do you look for in a partner: Someone who shares my interests and really want to know the true me.
“No offense if I wrote how you really are, there will not be any requests. Now it’s all up to you Yuri, talk and explore out all your options. Are you bi-curious or you really play for the other team? You decide” Jason murmured under his breath.
He clicked enter and Yuri was officially on a lesbian online dating site seeking for a partner. Seeing Jason support her through her bi-curious phase meant the world to Yuri. But her pride held her back from admitting it.
Why wouldn’t it? Yuri had mocked Sasha’s sexuality for so long that now it seemed ironic to be in her position now. And now there wasn’t anyone Yuri could get guidance from because no one really knows the secret Yuri has to keep. Belle being in a different country and moving on has made things worse for Sasha.
Situation after situation keep crossing their paths but Yuri and Sasha had always fought them together. And they’ll always fight them together, right? Yuri thought about telling Sasha what she is going through but piling Sasha with every grief or problem wasn’t the way to handle things. Sasha has problems of her own and Yuri didn’t want to get in middle of that. It was the least she could do.
Yuri had new problems. Problems big enough to put her traumatizing time with her father and his arrival, all kept aside and focus on her sexuality. Because anyone’s sexuality is not a joke, it changes them physically and mentally. And right now Yuri felt helpless and torn between the lines. As if she was caught in the middle and she has no idea where to go. What she needed was just a little push, just a little push to the light. Will she make it?
She had no clue but she knew she’d always find a way.