Same But Different - Chapter 28: Chapter 28

Perfectly Fine
“Happy Birthday to You, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to Yuri, Happy Birthday to you! Well Since you’re eighteen, you should know that you’re now old enough to know what’s right and what’s wrong, but young enough to still make mistakes and get away with it haha. Anyways I got you a present, it’s under the bed. I hope you like it. I guess this host and alter thing is working well for both of us. Anyways I hope you have a great day. If you see trouble, switch to me and I’ll handle it. Look at me, talking like a superhero haha”
I recorded the message, and stared at the small wrapped gift that lay on the floor. I picked it up and placed it under the bed. It was a bracelet I made for her. I wondered if I would ever have a birthday of my own. But my purpose is to put everything aside and keep apply all my focus on Yuri and be her shadow. After all, isn’t that what my existence is all about?
*BLANK*
“Should I be even doing this?” Yuri thought, making her way to a place, she had sworn she’d never go back to. But deep inside she knew she couldn’t just ignore it. She needed help, and she needed it now. What a day she had picked to walk into Nicholas Private Practice. It was indeed her 18th birthday, and as much as freedom she was about to conquer, she needed one freedom that was interfering with her life.
“Are you going to make me disappear?” Sasha’s voice echoed at the back of her mind nearly making her chuckle.
Of course not.
Yuri made her way inside and eventually found Dr.Nicholas just in time. The look on his face was expectable but then he flashed a smile of relief.
“I need your help Doctor” Yuri admitted.
“Please call me Nick. I am glad you finally decided to let me run actual tests” His reply was quick.
“I’m sorry but I am not here for any tests, I just need your professional advice on something” Yuri explained a bit more after taking a seat at his office.
“Advice?”
“Yes. I want to learn how to control the switches” Yuri spoke the words.
She had been dreading all morning just thinking about how to control the switches between her and Sasha. That was the freedom she needed, to be able to switch places comfortably instead of any unwanted interruptions. She knew it was impossible to do, she wanted to at least try.
“Alright Sasha, I think it’s best if I did some tests” Dr. Nick stated.
“Actually I am Yuri. . And I don’t need you testing on me like I am a lab rat. I just need you to help me with the switches. Now can you help or not?”
“Oh. Well I suppose I could teach you a few tips to help you control them. But I am not sure if it’ll work because Dissociative Identity Disorder is very tricky and in your case it is very rare for the alter to be so willing which might make this process easier” Dr. Nick’s words stressed Yuri.
“Okay when do we start?”
“Now” Nick smirked.
“I can’t do this, it’s not working” Yuri complained. Her patience was running out and Nick wasn’t making anything easier by letting her meditate.
“You are thinking too much, just close your eyes and let go of all the other nonsense”
“You make it sound so easy” Yuri murmured under her breath. How could she just forget about everything when her mind is filled with so much stress lately? It wasn’t easy, and it wouldn’t get any easier.
“You wanted me to try this therapeutically the old fashion way than using the latest technology and pin point everything that is happening to you, but since you won’t allow me to do so. Meditating is your only option” Now Nick was complaining.
“Okay fine, I’ll meditate” Yuri agreed quickly.
“Take a deep breath; go to your calm place. Feel the weight lift off your shoulders” Nick’s voice softened. Yuri closed her eyes and obeyed his instructions but kept failing to relax.
“Jeez, Yuri, chill” Sasha’s voice echoed in Yuri’s mind making her smile. It had been a tough couple of months with everything that have been going on. Maybe Yuri had forgotten how to relax and chill. But somehow with all these thoughts circulating, Yuri felt some weight lifting off her shoulders.
“Are you relaxed Yuri?” Nick asked.
“Hmm”
“Remember, emotions trigger the switch the most. You need to be in control of your switching since you are the host, you have the upper hand. Emotions such as anger can affect you both, and sometimes it may result in creating another personality. So try to focus in your mind, don’t let it play you. You may feel like you are sharing a brain with a stranger but you are not, Yuri. It is just your brain messing with you. Now if you just let me do some tests I can – “
“Wait what! Another Personality? You mean it could create another alter?”
“Yes, it is possible”
“So I can get rid of this if I meditate on weekly basics?”
“Only if the meditating helps to keeps your strong emotions in check”
“So anger worsens the current state?”
“Uh huh”
“So if I get a hold of my emotions by meditating, I can be able control the switches much easily?”
“That’s the plan”
“So if I – “
“Curiosity can sometimes trigger anger too”
“Okay then I’ll shut up now”
Nick smirked as he did a quick final check up on Yuri. It was true that he had found Yuri’s rare disorder, an amusement. Although having Yuri come by herself to seek help was the main highlight of the day. It was quite a huge step for Yuri, considering at the rate of how her life was going.
“Thank you, Nick. I appreciate your help today”
“If you need anything else – “
“I’ll call you, I promise”
“Alright then” Nick waved at her as she stepped outside of his office and made her way back home.
Nick was a good hearted man, Yuri could tell. Just like his sister, Belle.
The thought of Belle made Yuri feel uneasy. All that blackmail, finding out the truth, bullying, hurting and everything else set aside Bell could’ve been her best friend. Truth be told, Belle was her best friend. Even after all those years of being a bitch, Yuri had told Belle everything she felt about Jason, she had shared secrets with Belle that she trusted enough to keep. And Belle had never let her down even when Yuri did.
“Stop thinking about Belle, you’re making me miserable too” Sasha whispered to her.
“Hmm” Yuri murmured in silence.
The walk back home didn’t seem that long considering the thoughts that buried deep in Yuri’s head. She was eighteen years old.
“Old enough to know what’s right and what’s wrong, but young enough to still make mistakes and get away with it” The thought made her smile.
She was wearing the friendship bracelet Sasha had made for her. It was kind and sweet of Sasha, but it made Yuri wonder if she was capable to do such nice things too? It was time to decide if she wanted to continue the bitch act or if she wanted to make amends and be more like Sasha.
As soon as Yuri got home, her cellphone buzzed.
“Hello?”
“Happy Birthday Beautiful”
“Thank you”
“Wanna go out tonight?”
“No, I’m actually planning on staying in tonight”
“Are you kidding? It’s your birthday! You’ve waited for this for so long”
“Yeah but a lot happened afterwards which made me change my mind”
“Do you want me to come over then?
“Nope, I’m good”
“The fuck’s the matter with you?”
“Umm I have an online date”
“Holy shit, you do?”
“Hmm”
“Enjoy Enjoy, can I get to watch if it gets steamy?”
“JASON!”
“Alright, Alright. You’re no fun”
“Bye Pervert”
“Bye Beautiful”
“An Online date? Is that the only excuse I could come up with?” Yuri thought. Her birthday felt less important comparing to the rest of the piles of stress in her mind. She reached for her laptop and typed in her password. She had created two accounts in her laptop, one for her and one for Sasha. That way each of them can have their own privacy.
Yuri stared at screen again. She needed to talk to somebody about her current unknown change of sexual feelings but she couldn’t just talk about it with a stranger. This site was trouble and she knew it but she had to come here if she wanted to escape from reality.
She needed to be Riley Smith for her to understand what she was feeling. And that is why it seemed perfectly fine for her to be in contact with somebody who would understand Yuri’s feelings but see Yuri as Riley.
It was perfectly fine for her to talk someone she already knows. It was perfectly fine to tell a white lie to someone for the latter benefit. It was perfectly fine to start talking to your alter on a lesbian dating site as disguising as someone else and seek her advice on something Yuri was beginning to realize.
But there were three bad things that was beginning to happen once Yuri started this mess.
1)      Yuri was realizing that she’s no longer a heterosexual.
2)      The one person she could seek advice was from no one other than her other self, Sasha.
3)      What Yuri didn’t realize was that her actions would always have consequences.