Same But Different - Chapter 32: Chapter 32

Unacceptable
“What do you mean, you’re Riley? How did you even know about her? Yuri, if this is a joke then it’s clearly NOT FUNNY! You can’t just mess with someone’s feelings. This better be a fucking joke!” I screamed into the recording camera. Tears spilled from my eyes, I wasn’t just hurt, I was angry.
In fact I was furious with Yuri. I’ve had it with her. Sometimes she’ll act so kind then most of the times she’ll just show me her true side, which happens to be the evil queen.
She cannot be Riley. My heart was broken once because of Yuri and it was happening again because of her.
Five Hours Ago
RileyS – “I cant do this anymore. I like you, I really do. But its not going to work. I just cant, I am sorry Sasha, but I think we should stop talking”
Sa$ha- “No! I don’t want that. It will work. Distance relationships work, trust me. It will work. We’ll make it work”
RileyS – “I am not far from you Sasha. I’m quite closer than you think. I’ve been lying to you and I am really really truly sorry. Its time you know the truth”
Sa$ha – “What truth?”
I stared at the laptop screen. I waited for her reply but she didn’t. I went to her account only to find that it was deactivated. Riley Smith was gone for good and I don’t know what I did to make her leave.
I thought we had something, I was finally giving in. When I finally thought my life was meaningful again, something horrible happens and I’m back to square one.
I tried to bring myself together and be strong but the rage within me tore me apart.
I had buried myself in this Riley mess and completely forgot to watch Yuri’s video update. I asked her if I could tell Riley about our situation but I guess there was no use of it now. I inserted the chip on the laptop and waited for the video to load. I played it and waited for a while, because for a minute Yuri didn’t speak. She just stared at the camera. It took me a while to figure out she was crying.
“Sa-sha. I have something really bad to tell you. You’ll probably hate me after this but I want you to know because I just can’t lie to you anymore. I-It began right after Jordan’s party, after I started doubting that I may be a lesbian. One night I found the website you were using to chat with strangers and Jason signed me up for it by using a fake name. I didn’t know it would get serious. It wasn’t a prank. I just wanted to be sure that I liked girls. I just wanted someone to talk to me. I got many requests but I ignored them but I accepted only one.”
“No no no no please please don’t let this be true” I gasped. My heart was beating so fast. Yuri had betrayed me again. Yuri sobbed a little more as she continued.
“After I accepted the request, we talked. I really didn’t think it would get out of control. “
I paused the video, unable to stomach the situation. My heart felt heavy, I couldn’t watch the rest of the video. Yuri had crossed all the limits this time. I could never forgive her this time. Never.  Ever.
Just when I had finally let my heart love again, Yuri had stomped on it and crushed it to pieces. Sharing a body with her, made me feel sick and disgusted. I had no control over it; I had no control over her.
How could she do this to me when all I have ever done for her was nothing but good things?
How could she pretend to be someone else and play with my feelings?
I felt so wronged and belittled.
The doorbell rang, but I was too distracted to notice it. Tears fell down my cheeks and I couldn’t help but cry louder. Pain spread through my heart like poison. I felt insecure, I felt all the bad feelings of a heartbreak.
Most of all I felt numb.
The doorbell rang thrice, I finally decided to open the door.  It was Jason.
Of course it was.
“You’re crying!” He blurted out the obvious.
“Of course I am, do I look like I am smiling?”
“What happened?”
“It’s none of your business” I spat out. I do not need Jason hogging at me, not now not ever.
“What happened?” Jason’s voice was firm this time.
“Leave me alone!” I pushed him away. Tears were still rolling down my cheeks. I was having a mental break down. Yuri had destroyed me.
“I am just trying to help, Yuri”
“I AM NOT YURI! STOP CALLING ME THAT!” I screamed at Jason. At this point even if he was confused and demanded answers, I wouldn’t care.
“What’s going on with you?” Jason reached for me.
“STOP TRYING TO HELP! GO AWAY! GET OUT!” I yelled at him but he wouldn’t move.
“Did someone hurt you? Who hurt you? Tell me a name.” Jason asked. He wasn’t budging, he just wouldn’t leave.
“Yes . . .” I admitted falling to the ground. I was hurt, heartbroken and deceived. I felt so wronged.
“Who hurt you? Who?!” Jason demanded an answer.
I sat on the ground as if the world had ended. I couldn’t find the strength to answer him and explain. I couldn’t deal with Yuri anymore. I opened my mouth to answer, but it had only come off as a whisper.
“Yuri”
*BLANK*
“Jason . . .” Yuri stared at her best friend/ex-boyfriend who had a horrified look on his face.
“Yuri?” His voice shook as he spoke.
“She told you, didn’t she?” Yuri didn’t hesitate to ask.
“Hmm I can’t wrap my mind around it” Jason spoke honestly. Yuri tried to explain but she was cut off by Jason.
“I know what you did to her” Jason folded his arms. He stared at Yuri as if she had betrayed him too.
“I can explain . . .”
“How could you? I don’t know how you both live inside one body. I don’t know how many times you’ve lied to me. Sasha told me everything from the beginning up until the end. I thought it was all a huge joke until she showed me the conversations and all your video updates even the yellow notes. Now it’s true that I signed you up, I made you an account but I sure did not tell you to play with somebody else’s feelings especially when that person is no one else but a part of you”
“I didn’t . . “ Yuri sobbed.
“I didn’t play with her feelings. I was honest to her all along except for my identity. I didn’t know that as time passed I would start liking her and she would start liking me”
“WHAT?”
“She didn’t tell you that? Didn’t she watch the video?”
Jason put his hands over Yuri’s shoulder. “Yuri, you can’t like Sasha, she’s you!”
“I know, but I can’t help my feelings. You don’t know how I feel”
“Yuri, hey, baby, just calm down. You’re not thinking clearly” Jason wrapped his arms around Yuri to calm her down. She sobbed more burying her face on his chest.
“I am falling for her, Jason. And I can’t help it. I never meant to hurt her”
“You can’t. I’ll help you find another girl. I’ll even go with you to lesbian clubs. You can hook up with strangers for all I care but you can’t fall in love with yourself, Yuri. I won’t allow it. The situation is messed as it is and you are making it even more fucked up by saying this”
“I can’t help it”
“Yes you can. I remember a while ago you said you could never move on from me, but you did! Just like that, you can get over this little crush. Yuri, please it’s for your own good. Think about the future, what are you going to gain by liking Sasha? How can you both ever meet? How about dates?”
“It’s fine, as long as I have her in my life . . .”
“No its not, what are you going to tell your mom and to everyone else? What if one day Sasha disappears?”
“I don’t care what others think. How can you live life always thinking about what others would think? Besides Sasha won’t leave me, I know that. She doesn’t know that I’m being sincere. She doesn’t know that I’ve changed”
“How can you live your life loving yourself, Yuri?”
“It’s Sasha who I love, we are different people”
“No, you are different personalities, Yuri. I know a bt about your disorder. I cant let you be miserable for the rest of your life”
“Then believe me when I say that I love her”
“Yuri, I don’t want to have to tell you this”
“You’ll see, I’ll convince her into liking me. Everything will be fine” Without breaking their hug, Yuri tried to convince Jason that love makes sense.
“Yuri, you need help!” The words spilled from Jason’s lips like a warning. “I have an uncle with the same disorder and he takes some medicines for it which makes his alters go away. It only works with medications.”
“No no no, I don’t want to cure it and make Sasha go away. I need her in my life.”
“Yuri, listen to yourself. If this was vice versa, what would you do?”
“I’d encourage you. I don’t care if you fall in love with a hamster and if you wanted to marry it. Love is love, Jason. And I’m hooked by my alter. I need love in my life”
“If its love that you need, we can find it somewhere else. Out of the millions of girls in the world you want to choose the one girl you can never have?”
“You don’t know how many stuffs I’ve been through with Sasha. She completes me. I know that now. She was there from day one”
“I don’t know what to say” Jason breaks their hug as the words stumbles from his lips.
“Then don’t. You said you’ll be there for me no matter what. Just be there for me” Yuri objected.
“I can’t be on board with this, I can’t support this. Yuri, you can’t face the truth”
“You’re wrong Jason. I am facing the truth and that’s why my heart feels so light. I need her in my life, I really do”
“And I need you in my life, that’s why I am telling you, that you need help, both Medical and psychological help. The trauma in your life is finally acting up on you, Yuri.”
“You think I’m crazy, don’t you?”
“Listen to yourself Yuri. This is ridiculous”
“Don’t you think I don’t know that? How many times have I tried to stop myself from saying it? I have thought about it a million times but ignoring it just makes me unhappier by the minute. I am done with lies, I need this Jason. You’re either with me or against me”
“Yuri, don’t make me . . .”
“With me or against me” Yuri gave Jason an ultimatum to which he had failed miserably in Yuri’s eyes. Yuri watched as Jason left the house without another word.