Same But Different - Chapter 35: Chapter 35

You're all that matters
“So what happened after I left?” Belle looked at her feet as she stretched out her legs. She was sitting on my bed.
I thought hard about her question, when actually the question should be what didn’t happen after she left. There were so many things that occurred, for one,
1) Yuri’s father’s appearance
2) Yuri and Jason going back to being best friends
3) Whitney
4) Yuri finding out she’s a lesbian
5) Riley
6) Jason finding out about me
7) Me finding out about Yuri being a lesbian.
8) Yuri falling for me
A lot has happened after Belle left. A lot.
“Nothing much” I gulped as I lied.
“Jason said he knows about you two. When did that happen?” She chuckled a bit nervously as she asked. Her curiosity was unavoidable, but I couldn’t just sit there and lie through my teeth. But ironically that’s exactly what I did.
“He just found out. There came a situation where I had to tell him” I tried to speak half-truths.
“Oh I see, so Yuri and Jason are back together?”
No, because she’s a lesbian now and her first crush seemed to be towards me.
“No, they’re just friends” I murmured quietly. I can’t tell Belle everything, I knew how worked up she gets because of both of us, so it’s better for now to just shut up.
“So how was Paris?” I changed the subject casually.
“It’s such a romantic city, I thought about you every day, I wanted you there with me” She replied sadly. Her eyes pierced through me. I could feel myself sinking into her.
“Your pictures say otherwise” I muttered slowly.
“That’s my cousin Kimberly you know. I like the fact that you get jealous of my relatives” Belle laughed. I stared at her all confused and embarrassed, it seemed like I was here getting upset over nothing.
“Why didn’t you call? Or text? Or email me?”
“I didn’t think you’d want me to”
“Of course, I’d want you to” I stressed the words that came out from my lips. Belle was back and I didn’t know what to do or what to say. Every question she asked, I kept thinking about if Yuri would want me to tell her, or what Yuri would think.
Belle stared back at me, she knew something was bothering me but she doesn’t ask, instead she leans forward. It was almost as if time had stopped and I became deaf because I couldn’t hear anything else, expect feel the beat of my heart rise. Her lips had almost met mine when Mrs. Williams called out.
“Yuri, lights out now. It’s late”
Belle pulled away quickly and so did I.
“I should get back to the room” Belle whispered standing up to her feet.
“Hmm”
“Let’s go out tomorrow night, be ready at 8 okay?” I wasn’t sure if she asked me or just told me. I nodded. Belle walked towards to door to leave but stopped.
“It’s a date” Words echoed the room.
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“She asked you out on a date? Wow that girl is fast” Jason spoke loudly. We were at the school hall, no matter where I went, he follows. And it didn’t even matter now if I was Sasha or Yuri, Jason follows.
“Yeah, so I nodded which means I agreed to it” I tried to swallow them but they spilled out. Why was I even telling all this to Jason anyway?
“Okay so let me get this straight, Belle came back and asks you out on a date. And you said yes without even talking to Yuri?”
“How can I ask her if she’s okay with me going on a date with Belle when I clearly know she’s not in her right mind right now?”
“Where is Yuri by the way? It’s been a while now since she hasn’t shown up” Jason asked while I locked my locker.
“I don’t know. She hasn’t shown up.”
“I didn’t think she meant it literally when she said all what she wanted do was to crawl up in a shell and never come out”
“She said that?”
“Yes, and she cursed Belle. Like A LOT!”
“Yuri tries to control the switches now, I’ve noticed that but she can’t hideout forever. She has to come out”
“She can’t even come out of the closet, yet alone a shell. Let the poor girl be jealous, she’ll know when to show up”
“I am worried about her, Jason” I admit truthfully.
“Me too” Jason agrees.
Just like earlier, my main focus was on Yuri. I worry for her; I don’t wish to hurt her. All I really wanted was to be there for her. Fix all her problems, and to always keep her happy. I thought as her alter, that was my job, until that job didn’t feel like a job anymore. I wanted to protect Yuri, I still do. I’ll fight heaven and hell for her. But knowing I can’t give her the one thing she wants from me, hurts me. It makes me angry and sad.
So now everything with Belle doesn’t make any sense. After that entire ruckus about wanting Belle back in my life, none of it really mattered anymore.
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“Gimme a minute” I called out, adjusting my hair. Belle was waiting downstairs for me. I stared at my reflection and tried to convince myself everything will run out smoothly.
“It’s gonna be fine” I whispered.
I ran downstairs to meet a very different Belle. Her hair was straightened; it was tied up, while I had let my hair down this time. I smiled at her as I spoke.
“You look beautiful”
“Thank you” She smiled back at me.
There was silence for a while as we walked together. I wanted to hold her hand but I couldn’t. So she did the honors. Her hand held mine tightly as we walked.
“I want to go to the beach, I heard there’s live music tonight” Belle suggested. And off we went to the beach. As soon as we got to the beach, we got ourselves ice cream and watched people playing truth or dare by the bonfire and listened to the great live music band.
This should be fun, right?
I should be feeling happy, but I felt uneasy. I should be glad but I felt sorry. I should be having fun, but I felt wrong. I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn’t even notice Belle wasn’t even standing next to me anymore. I panicked thinking I had lost her to the crowd that gathered near the stage.
“Okay, we’ve got a guest who’ll be singing. Everyone, give Belle a round of applause” A man on the stage spoke through the microphone, making me unable to move from where I was standing. Belle is going to sing?
“Sasha, this one’s for you. I wrote this while being in Paris, thinking about you. I hope you like it” Belle spoke through the microphone as the crowd cheered and teased us. She sat down on a chair and pulled the microphone closer to her lips. I must’ve been really short not to notice the guitar that rested on her right leg. She cleared her throat and looked straight at me then winked at me as she began. I grinned.
You're all that matters - Belle Reid
“Don’t you think that it’s enough?
If I have you
And if you have me
That’s all that matters
Don’t you think that life’s been tough?
Maybe I’ll bring you up
Whenever you’re feeling down
Cause that’s all that matters
(Chorus)
That’s all that matters
Me and you and our love letters
When I say I love you
Would you tell me that you do too?
That’s all that matters
When I’m with you, everything’s better
When I say I love you
Would you tell me that you do too?
When I say I love you . . .
(Bridge)
However there’s an obstacle
We must face
Will you still hold my hand?
Even if everything’s out of place
That’s all that matters
Me and you and our letters
When I say I love you Sasha
Would you say you love me too?
My eyes widened and I felt my heart pound hard against my chest. Belle sang beautifully while playing the guitar, I’ve never seen this side of her.  She finished her song and stared at me. Wasn’t this what I was waiting for? I looked around, the cheers of the crowd got even louder and all of them chanted.
“SAY YES! SAY YES! SAY YES!”
I looked at Belle again. She was still smiling. I tuned everyone out as I exhaled my breath because what’s louder than the crowd was my head. Their chants had nothing over Yuri screaming continuously in my mind.
“SAY NO! SAY NO! SAY NOO!”