Same But Different - Chapter 48: Chapter 48

I love you
“Yuri, are you ready?” Mrs. Williams asked huskily. She looked worn out and tired, but she tried her best to smile throughout the day. It was indeed a huge day for Yuri today. It was operation day! Funny thing was when everyone around her looks freaked out, but she wasn’t. All she could think about was back when she was a little girl, how she used to play doctor with her dolls. Back then, operation was a mere definition of a doctor placing a small bandage over the wound and healing it. But right now, all Yuri could do was smile at how little and foolish her thoughts were as a kid.
“I am ready” Yuri replied slowly. She wanted to survive, and live on with Sasha. She had found her truelove and she was grateful today.
“Be strong, honey” Mrs. Williams didn’t let go of her hand. She held it tightly and placed a light kiss on Yuri’s forehead.
“I’ll try”
“It’s time to go” Dr. Nick informed looking at the five of them. Belle looked as if she was trying her best not to cry. Jason on the other hand, looks horrible, with his messy hair and bloodshot red eyes. Yuri’s professor held the crying Mrs. Williams in his arms. Although Yuri had seen very less of him, he stepped forward, leaned over and whispered.
“Imagine you’re deep underwater, maybe something keeps dragging you down. Break free and swim up for air. That’s all what you need to do. You’re a fighter and you know it. Now it’s time to prove it” He smiled lightly and that was exactly what Yuri needed.
Yuri smiled back at each of them. She knew she had to be strong and she will be strong. It wasn’t just her that she needed to fight for anymore, it was for Sasha as well. Yuri let out a heavy sigh as the nurses pushed the gurney she was on into the operation room.  Maybe she could tear up the bucket list as soon as she wakes up. Whatever the feeling she was feeling, it clearly involved courage and she had it.
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“Okay Yuri, could you count numbers backwards for me?” Dr. Nick placed the anesthetic vaporizer over Yuri’s mouth. A smile brought upon her face as she started counting knowing that she will now meet Sasha. She counted until seven, and then her voice trailed off and she felt her being pulled into the darkness.
*BLANK*
This has to be a movie, because stuff like this usually happens in movies. It doesn’t happen in real life. I stared at the girl whom I’m ready to give up my life for. She bit her lip shyly as she walked towards me. Maybe this wasn’t the right time to actually think about how awkward this is. We are literally in her head but we could see and touch and feel each other. Maybe it’s better if I stopped thinking logically. I smiled back looking at her, she was beautiful. Sure, I had seen her body, I was in her body but the whole point of that body being special is when it shared Yuri’s personality.
I was calm for a person who is about to die. Mainly because in front of me stood all the righteous in the world.
“Yuri” I whispered as I gave her a kiss on her forehead. She was going to hate me later, resent me but that was okay as long as she was alive. Isn’t this what you would’ve done if you were me, or am I just that kind? I didn’t question my decision but I questioned myself whether I should tell her about my decision.
“I love it when you call my name like that” She buried her face in my neck making me cringe. “It makes me feel wanted” Her hands slowly creep into my thighs. I closed my eyes at the sensual feeling that was arising in my body. Even through my small heavy breaths I wanted to reply to her statement.
“You’re always wanted, always”
I could feel Yuri’s tongue rolling deep in my neck, whatever she was up to I was down with it. I hear Yuri moan a little when my fingers stroll lightly on her spine. Her lips founds it way to mine, she tasted like cherry, so sweet. I could feel her body tense against mine, I could also feel her gasping for air but she didn’t stop kissing me. My tongue slowly rolled in, spicing the kiss even more.
Yuri grabbed my hair lightly tilting her head a bit more so she could have more access to my tongue. I bit her lower lips making her moan slowly, urging for me to remove her clothes. Believe me, I wanted nothing more than what she was offering to me right now but again I couldn’t shake the feeling of dying any moment. As soon as they take out the tumor, I’ll be gone. And on top of that we were in a hospital with a few doctors picking on her brain, so it wasn’t exactly how I wanted to ‘spend’ my first or last time with Yuri.
“What happened?” Yuri pulled as soon as she realized how hesitant I was. I stared at her, I couldn’t tell her the truth in my last moments, and she’d hate me. I can’t have her hating me, it’ll break my heart.
“Nothing . . .” I began. “I just think we should do that when we’re like alone, not we’re on an operating table” I was relieved when my reply made me smile.
“You’re right but this surgery takes six hours. And the only way we see each other is if we are unconscious, so please enlighten me of how you are going to handle this situation without getting into my pants” Yuri stated tying her hair up so show her broad sexy shoulders.
“You make me sound like a pervert” I said unable to take my eyes off of her shoulders.
“Prove me you’re not” Yuri said playfully, making me smirk. I like to believe that I am not a pervert because I am not.
Pervert? Me? I would never . . . but then again maybe I was because instead of replying to her I took her in my arms, she wrapped her legs around my body tightly. This time I held her hair as my tongue crashed onto her neck then slowly made its way into her broad shoulders. Yuri breathed heavily as my hands crept into her thighs tickling her body.
“I love you Sasha, so much so so so much” Yuri kept chanting slowly and quietly to my ears. That’s when I realized what a piece of crap I was. Although this had nothing to do with cheating, I felt as if I had betrayed Yuri. I screwed up and this time, I really did. How am I going to tell her the truth? Six hours seemed like such a short period of time and time was running out.
“What’s wrong, Sasha? You’re acting weird” Yuri said as soon as her feet touched the ground. I have tried to ignore it and enjoy these moments, but I didn’t think about the pain I could be bringing to Yuri’s life. I had always thought life wasn’t fair to me, and it still isn’t but it was Yuri’s life that worried me most.
“I have to tell you something” I managed to say without looking at her. I couldn’t face her and she won’t be ready to face the truth.
“What is it?” Yuri’s fingers combed against my hair. She looked clueless but still beautiful. I didn’t want to take away this moment, but she deserved to hear the truth.
“It’s really important for you to know that what I did, was only because I love you. I would do anything for you” I began quietly. I found myself debating to tell her cause if I did, maybe she wouldn’t fight for her life. If I didn’t, she’ll resent me forever. Truth was I did the right thing and if I had to do it again, I still would’ve chosen to die.
“You’re scaring me, what did you do?” Yuri stepped towards me as I stepped back. She deserved to live and move on. But I don’t know how I can explain that to her.
“What did you do, Sasha?” Yuri asked again but this time a little louder. She was annoyed and I could see that. If only I could get past my stammering and overly heavy breaths, I could tell her what I have done. After a while of feeling really guilty, I decided to force the words to come out.
“Yuri, I came to your life for a reason, no matter how I think about it it’s the truth. I always knew I came to your life for a reason but I never knew what. At first I thought it was because you needed a friend, someone you could always count on but it was more than that.” I stared at her confused face. It wasn’t the right time to start a speech but this is how she’d know how I felt about her. “Then when I became your lover, I thought my purpose was fulfilled. But when I heard about your sickness, I knew that’s what brought me here. My whole existence is based on your tumor” Though it wasn’t exactly true, I felt the need to exaggerate for her sake.
“What do you mean? The tumor is you? That’s not true Dr. Nick said the disorder has got nothing to do with that” Yuri complained.
“Well it’s a theory; scientifically I am like a rare object. I don’t know where I came from, I don’t know who I am but after that tumor is taken out, I would no longer be here. The tumor either way takes away my life and existence. So basically this is the last time you see me, Yuri. After you wake up, I’ll be gone and you’ll be completely fine” I let out the biggest sigh of my life and stared at Yuri who looked more mad than upset.
“Stop joking, it’s not funny Sasha. I’m serious, it’s really not funny” Yuri broke out angrily. I could see the pain in her eyes; I could also see how reality was hitting her. “It’s not funny, it’s not funny” Yuri repeated endlessly with tears pouring out of her eyes. I walked towards her trying to lift her up from the ground but she pushed me away.
“Don’t touch me! Don’t you come near me! You lied! You liiied!” Yuri sobbed louder than ever. Her cries were affecting me in ways I couldn’t even comprehend.
“I lied to protect you, I wanted you to live” I explained slowly trying to get a hold of her.
“I’D RATHER DIE!” Yuri screamed at me. “I can’t . . . I don’t want to live anymore. If you’re gone, I can’t. I’ll go crazy” Yuri blurted out. She was wailing at this point and I just stood there unable to do anything about it.
“No you won’t. Your mom needs you and so does Jason. You’ll be fine, you just have to fight harder and wake up the next morning” I stroked her hair, this time she didn’t push me away she stayed looking at the ground lifelessly.
“What if I don’t fight?” Yuri whispered. Expression on her innocent face changed into a stern look. She was considering giving up. I couldn’t let her do that, hope was what I was supposed to give her but Yuri was deciding on the opposite.
“Then you die, I can’t let that happen”
“No that’s good, we’ll die together.” Yuri’s eyes lit up as if it was better than being alive.
“I gave up my life, so that you can live, not die, Yuri. You have to fight. This is my purpose; I came to your life to give you a life. Take it!” I stressed on my words because they were important and Yuri didn’t understand what I was trying to explain.
“What’s a life if you’re not in it? You gave it meaning, you lightened it up and when things get better, you are leaving me all alone? How is that fair to me? How am I ever going to move on, from you? I can’t. I rather die” Yuri shrieked. If I put myself in Yuri’s shoes I would’ve probably said the same thing. I would’ve felt betrayed and wronged.
“Yuri hey, baby listen . . . I know this is hard and trust me I hate it! I hate that I have to leave you alone again. I hate hurting you like this, it breaks my heart but I have no choice. I have absolutely no control over it. But one thing I know for sure is that I want you to make it even if I can’t, because I love you. I love you so so much Yuri” I tried to assure her how much I loved her but whatever I said made the situation worse.
“You can’t do this to me. I can’t do this all by myself.  You’re dying and I’m just supposed to accept that? I can’t! I won’t!” Yuri screamed again. Her sobs were making it impossible for me to listen and calm her down because inside I was breaking down as well. Only if she knew how hard it’s for me as well.
“It’s gonna be alright, fight, stay strong and hold on. That’s my last wish. Don’t tell me you won’t fulfill my last wish. I think I deserve that from you”
“I hate you, I hate you, I hate you so much!”
“I know, I hate myself too. . . but I love you, always know that”
“This can’t be happening . . . pleeease . . . don’t go.. . Sasha, I won’t be able to survive out there if you’re not there. I cant . . . please . . .I beg you” Yuri begged and wept into my arms. I hugged her tightly and said the only thing that I want, to be my last words.
“I love you”
“Sasha . . . please don’t”
“I love you”
“This isn’t fair; I just found the one thing that kept me looking forward. You can’t leave me behind. You are breaking all your promises as an alter. You said you never break promises and you are breaking a major one right now”
“I love you”
“If you say I love you, one more time I swear . . .”
“I love you”
“I hate you!”