Same But Different - Chapter 49: Chapter 49

Jason’s POV
I let out a huge breath as the water splashed onto my face. I don’t remember the last time I had slept, Yuri’s situation was grinding my brain. Belle handed me a small piece of cloth to wipe my face. We were both waiting outside the OR.
“Thanks” I whispered as I wiped my face. It had been 5 and a half hours since Yuri was taken in. Belle held my hand but I didn’t brush it away, we were supporting each other. The thought of Sasha dying, made me sad as well. Belle on the other hand tried her best not to burst out crying. Never in my life had I thought I’d be in a situation where I am completely helpless. I was Jason Haynes, the guy who could make anything possible. But seeing Yuri this sick made me so angry, and frustrated.
“Do you think Sasha will tell Yuri the truth?” I blurt out and ask Belle. If Yuri makes it, the first person she bites is going to be me. Not that I can’t handle it, the whole reason I did what I did was to keep her alive. She’d understand but then she’s Yuri so there’s a very highly unlikely chance of that ever happening. I just wished she’d make out of this alive and well.
“Knowing Sasha, she wouldn’t want to leave without telling the truth. She’ll come clean I am sure” Belle replied lying her head over my shoulders. Which obviously meant we were screwed but that’s okay.
I see Dr. Nick making his way towards us. Mrs. Williams was the first to reach him. Nick has been coming out every hour to inform us about how the operation was going. Although he had informed us earlier that it was close to impossible, the surgery was so far so good he informed but this time I hoped he says the same.
“How’s she?” I asked.
“She’s a strong girl so she’s pulling through. We just took out the tumor, although there were complications, she pulled through. We’re closing her up now and we’d know she’s really okay once she wakes up” Dr. Nick stated giving a small pat on Mrs. Williams shoulders. Mr. Walker hugged her tightly as she laughed lightly. Yuri made it, she was alive and that’s all that mattered.
“Thank you. . .  so much” Mrs. Williams wrapped her arms around Nick, totally taking him off guard. His eyes grew wide but then he smiled. Little did he know that the surgery would be fine, according to the brain scan it looked as if it was impossible? I wanted to go ahead and tell him not to judge a book by it’s cover but then I didn’t want to ruin the moment.
“You’re welcome”
-                                                  - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
As soon as Yuri was taken out, we could see she was still unconscious. Did that mean she was still with Sasha? I wondered. Dr. Nick checked her vitals and waited in the room. We were all waiting for her to wake up. As I was waiting for her, I realized what I had done. It was not my call to make, but I did make it anyway for her safety. Knowing that Yuri would hate me after she wakes up, it made me sad.
The room was silent and it really got intense as we all stared at an unconscious Yuri who laid on the bed. The sound of the EKG machine is the loudest thing I could hear. The sound of her heart beating made me calm; I wiped my eyes again out of the tiredness. I needed to stay awake, at least for now. Belle wrapped arms around me which startled me at first but then she tried to lead me outside Yuri’s ward.
“What?” I questioned her as soon as we were outside. I noticed the worried look on her face.
“You should go and get some sleep. You look like shit” Belle confronted bluntly. Her remark made me frown at her. Seriously, I could care less about my beauty sleep right now.
“Gee thanks Belle” I rolled my eyes. Just as I turned to go back inside Belle stopped me again. What is her deal?
“Thank you” Belle said without looking at me.
“For what?”
“For not thinking that I am a horrible person for putting Sasha first. It was hard for me and you understood that. And for not being the Jason Haynes you show to the rest of the world, you made me see what kind of person Yuri fell for in the first place” Belle said truthfully.
“This doesn’t make us friends” I tried my best to make this conversation come to an end because I couldn’t stand the awkwardness.
“Oh thank god, you cleared that up. I was afraid I’d have to tag along with you everywhere from now onwards”
“Nerd” I whispered.
“Jerk” I heard she replying behind me as I turned around to walk towards the room.
Our conversation came to a halt when Mrs. Williams screamed which made both of us jump and run inside. I could see Nick struggling to page help. The EKG monitor was now showing a huge blank.
“BRING THE CRASH CART NOW” Dr. Nick screamed to the nurses. He unbuttoned her gown revealing her chest. I stood unable to move as he did CPR on her, waiting for her to get back. I could feel Yuri deliberately trying to give her life up. She was giving up in front of me and I could do nothing about it. The grip of Belle’s fingers tightened around my arms. Mrs. Williams cried louder this time and the professor was trying to calm her down. I felt my heart sink as I watched Yuri die in front of me. Dr. Nick pulled up something called a ‘cardiac defibrillator’ and started to shock her. I curled up my hands and slowly prayed for her to come back.
“Come on come on come on” I murmured under my breath.
By the second shock I saw some movement on the EKG monitor. I saw Dr. Nick let out a breath of huge relief.
“She made it . . .” Belle said stating the obvious. I didn’t say anything else; instead I just stared at her. No words could explain how I felt; nothing could fill that hole that has been created. As hard it was physically, I was destroyed emotionally throughout this process. I have never lost anyone I have loved; break ups were different but never to death. Watching Yuri die for a couple of seconds, made me realize a lot of things.
“Yeah she did”
-                                                        - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
How do I even begin to explain what happened after Yuri woke up? To this day she has tried everything her power to dodge or ignore me. I don’t blame her, and I am fine with it, as long as she was alive. It has been three month since her operation and honestly she was a wreck. She has even gone to see a psychiatrist which didn’t end well. She creates fights with almost everyone or anything. And every time I do see her, she stinks of alcohol. What happened to Yuri Williams was that she lost the girl she fell in love with.
Flashback
“Yuri, hiiiii baby” Mrs. Williams stroked her hair slowly as soon as her eyes opened. At first she was confused by the surrounding. Mrs. Williams waited for her to talk and so did Dr. Nick. If the surgery was successful Yuri will be able to live on with her life without any complications such as abnormalities in her speech or communication between her brain and her external organs.
“Mom . . .” She whispered quietly making Dr. Nick smile widely.
“Yes baby girl, I am right here. You’re safe. They took out the tumor” I watched as Mrs. Williams informed Yuri.
She didn’t look at me or Belle; she just stared at her mother. Her eyes began flooding at the realization. It didn’t take long for her to start crying, tears flowed down her cheeks. Mrs. Williams hugged her tightly and whispered “It’s over Yuri, you’ll be fine”
Yuri cried even more, I tried to reach her but she brushed my hand away with anger.
“I just want to be with mom right now, so could you guys go?” Yuri said rudely. Mrs. Williams looked at the both of us then at Yuri. She had no clue of what was going on but we knew exactly why Yuri didn’t want to see neither one of us.
“I’ll come tomorrow” I promised before I left but Yuri ignored me. It sucked to be the bad guy but she was alive and well, at the end of the day that’s what’s important. The next day was even worse; Mrs. Williams gave us some privacy so it gave me a chance to apologize to Yuri. The minute she saw my face, she was filled with frustration and anger.
“I don’t want to see you Jason” She muttered quietly.
“I did it for your own good” I tried to defend myself even when I knew I shouldn’t. It was not at all what she wanted to hear.
“She’s gone! All thanks to you!” Yuri said angrily.
“She chose to die to keep you alive” I sat next to her trying to explain. Yuri looked away not wanting to face me.
“You gave her the idea. You knew she’ll choose to die. Now she’s gone!” Yuri yelled this time, I didn’t say anything else, I just listened to her. “You knew how important she was for me, you knew how much I loved her but you planned this without my knowledge, just so you could save me? Well guess what, I am as good as dead now”
“Don’t say that, you’re alive! That counts for something!” I tried to reason with her but I had lost this battle. At the time I didn’t know that but I had lost the battle.
“You will never understand Jason, you have no idea how I feel”
“Yuri, I . . . “ I felt bad for her, I knew I won’t ever understand how she really felt but I wished I could help her get through it. I wished she would let me in.
“Don’t Yuri me! Just leave me alone. I don’t ever want to see your face again.”
“Fine, I’ll go. Call me when you come back to your senses” I stormed out of the hospital like a coward, unable to stand up to her and reason with her. I shouldn’t have left her alone, it was all my fault and I felt terrible and horrible about it.
-                                                    - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I was upset and angry but I didn’t want to say anything back at Yuri. Neither did she, as she ignored me for three whole month at every chance that she gets. Mrs. Williams calls me every week and cries because she has no clue to what has happened to her daughter. Yuri wouldn’t come out of her room, and when she does she goes out and gets drunk. To my amazement she always ends up calling me right after being extremely drunk. I never complain I always make sure I reach her and get her home safely. Even the drunk Yuri hates me, as soon as she sees my face she’d start with her hatred towards me.
But I always knew she calls me because she still cares about me and I still care about her. This situation reminded me back when we had broken up. It was hard for me back then as it was hard for me now. Sometimes whenever Yuri passes out in my car, I used to just stare at her sleeping and watch her take small breaths. At least she was breathing, would that have to be the biggest priority? Am I such a bad person for wanting her to live?
To make the situation even worse, Mrs. Williams calls me to ask me if I knew anything which was happening to Yuri. Of course she would be confused, she had no clue why Yuri was being ungrateful, or was getting drunk almost every night. Heck, I have no idea who was even offering her booze in the first place. Watching Yuri visit a psychiatrist was a dead end too. Yuri had lost faith and hope and everything that was once good in life. Including the people she has. I tried my best to maintain my distance from her because the mere sight of me boils her blood.
When did I become the bad guy? Why was I getting punished for saving her life? I wished I could share all of these with Belle but she never leaves her house either. I heard she moved back from Paris and transferred back in our school, but I haven’t seen her. Whitney received a full on rejection in front of the entire school. Yuri made sure she was humiliated. Since then, everyone in the school just ignores Yuri. Her life was basically falling apart and she was letting it.
All these thoughts processed in my brain just before I pulled over Yuri’s driveway. I had just gotten a call from Mrs. Williams. She was upset over the fact that Yuri won’t get up to go to school. For some reason, Mrs. Williams knew that I knew something she didn’t. Which I obviously did, but I knew I wasn’t the best person to snap Yuri out of her bubble.
I ignored my thoughts as Mrs. Williams let me in. She looked worn out and tired.
“Jason, I’m so sorry to disturb you. I don’t know why she’s so mad at you. But whatever it is, you’ve got to fix it. She needs you, in her life. Dr. Nick says it’s Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and it’ll take time to heal off. I just want my daughter back” Tears glimmered through her eyes. It pained me to see her that way, but it also pained me because I was the cause of her daughter being that way.
I nodded, making my way upstairs to Yuri’s room. The pink room was now dark because the curtains were closed and the lights were off. I quickly drew the curtains which made Yuri groan quietly by wiping her eyes. She took a look at me then groaned even louder. Her long silky blonde hair was so short now, she had cut it after the surgery. Yuri was barely recognizable.
“What do you want Haynes?” She mumbled burying the pillow on her face.
“I want you to get up from this bed and grow the fuck up!” I yelled at her. I knew I had no power to do so but it killed me to see Yuri like this.
“Get out, I am having the worst hangover and you’re making it even worse”
“No I won’t, this is not what Sasha would’ve wanted you to be like. She’d want you to be happy” I hoped that she’ll listen to me if I talked about Sasha. But she shot a look at me as soon as I said it which proved otherwise.
“Sasha? She left me! She lied to me . .she told me to fight and I fought because she wanted me alive. But I am dead without her, she left me for dead and you knew about it. So don’t think that I am anywhere near forgiving you or taking any shit from you”
“Look I know it sucks” I began but she interrupted me.
“No you don’t! You have no idea how much this sucks. I fell in love, then I got sick, I made peace with dying if it was with her! She just left me hanging . . . after everything we’ve been through together, so no . . . you don’t know how much it sucks to have the one you love taken away from you”
“Yuri, just listen to me”
“Nothing you say can bring her back. So if you just kindly leave that door and never return in front of me ever again, I’d appreciate it because you are a constant reminder of a reason why she isn’t here with me today” Her words wounded me but I kept my head high, I was going to put some sense in her today if it’s the last thing I do.
“You say this every time but you still end up calling me while you’re having a drunk mental breakdown. You need me Yuri and I need you too. I miss you! Don’t do this to me, or you, or us.”
“You should’ve thought of that before Jason, before you told her about the operation”
“It was her choice Yuri. She chose to save you, and so did I. And I don’t regret that for a single minute. I get that you will miss her, and fall apart but she needed you to be strong. You can’t waste your life getting wasted and being locked up indoors forever because Sasha didn’t give up her LIFE just so you could give up yours. And you’re not the only one whose hurt, I am and your mom too. You’re here complaining about why you are alive, did you for a second think about your mom, who would end up being motherless? Did you think about how I would feel if you had died? What if wherever Sasha is, she could see you? Would she be proud of whom you've become? Is this fair on her?”
Yuri was now quiet, she couldn't say anything else. She just sat on her bed and stared at me. I could see the tears forming in her eyes as she tried to fight them back.
“You eventually have to move on Yuri, it’s been three months and I’m not saying that there is a time limit for grieving because there isn't. I am sorry, I’m so so so sorry for everything I have done. I didn't mean to hurt you like this. I Miss you. I wish you stopped being this person, I wish you would learn to let go and move on because that’s the only way to finding happiness again.” I sat next to her and slowly stroked her hair, she didn't brush my hand away instead she just sat on the bed. I didn't say another word, but a few minutes later she rested her head on my shoulder and wept quietly.
I knew by then that Yuri has taken her first step towards recovery.