Same But Different - Chapter 60: Chapter 60

How to save a life
As we sat in the car all quiet for a couple of minutes, I thought about all the times I had forgotten to ask Jason how he was really doing. I guess I had depended on him a little too much to help with my own problems. And also I had taken him to be more of a Yuri's friend than mine for a long time until I realized how much I care about him. Clearing my throat, I stared at him. He looked a little pale.
"What's going on, Jason?" I asked slowly. He smiled slightly but showing a hint of sadness, how come I didn't notice he was not okay. Maybe because Jason Haynes never had to deal with a real problem before, I frowned at the thought.
"You want the entire story or should I summarize it?" He asked looking at me with another smirk.
"The whole story please." I replied folding my arms. He took a couple ore seconds to speak again.
"Okay, so I met Paige's father, you already know that much, right?" He gave me that smile again while I rolled my eyes gesturing him to continue. "Alright . . . Mr. Johnson told me that, wait let me say the exact words . . he said I was a worthless human being and that Paige deserves to be with someone who can take care of her"
I bit my lip so that I wouldn't curse at Paige's father. I stayed silent so Jason continued.
"There's a reason why he said what he said . . and it makes perfect sense" He shuddered.
"No, there should be no reason why he should say all those mean things." I muttered.
"Sasha, Paige is suicidal" He murmured quietly as I gasped into the air. I blinked a few times trying to piece together what Jason had just said. "It's true . . Mr. Johnson, he warned me about it and I saw the scars last night . . ."
"Oh god . . Jason . . What else did Mr. Johnson say?" I asked.
"There was this other guy before me, who just broke her apart. His betrayal left her with scars, Mr. Johnsons had to bring her to the hospital thrice. . she . . urr . .she lost a lot of blood the last time" He pursed his lips as if he was trying to shake away the image in his head.
"So he refused you to be with her?"
"Yeah . . It's more like forbad me from ever seeing her. But the next day she ran away from home and found me. I can't push her away, I don't even want to" he replied, to which I didn't know how to respond. I was stunned by the events that was taking place and by the lack of my knowledge on it. Pulling up the brakes, Jason stopped the car in front of an unfamiliar house. "We're here"
"Here? What do you mean? This isn't your house" I looked around the neighborhood and realized I don't even recognize it.
"We moved out to an apartment my dad owns, I figured if we were going to start fresh, we might as well do it at a new place, one where my mom wouldn't complain about me keeping my girlfriend hidden from her father" Jason explained with a huge sigh. I stared at the unfamiliar house again, it was small and very white.
"I gotta ask . . Are you staying with her because she's suicidal?" I asked candidly even though I knew the answer. Sometimes even I hate my bluntness.
"No, I . . I want to help her through it. I want to make her strong, and be able to love herself first. I don't ever want to let her go." Jason replied getting out the car. As we made it to his porch, I felt guilty for calling him and asking him to come over when he was in fact dealing with so much.
"Why did you rush over when I called you? You could've stayed in with her. How stupid are you to leave a suicidal girl alone to go meet your best friend's girlfriend?" I crossed my arms hoping he had a better answer for it. God forbid, if something happened to Paige while Jason was away assisting me, I could never forgive myself.
"First of all, Paige knows about you both and the fact that you're 'lesbians' and second of all, I am not stupid . . Paige said one of her friends was coming over to meet her. So I came to you to help you get through your crisis" Jason smirked after his explanation. It seemed like he had everything figured out, so far. I guess I was now okay with everyone finding out me and Yuri. It was about time.
"Okay maybe you're not that stupid" I replied that made him chuckle.
"Was that a compliment, Sasha?" He asked as I scoffed.
"Don't push it Haynes" I warned him with a silent laugh. Our conversation came into a halt as I witnessed a girl standing near the fence making her way to us. She had a bouquet of flowers in her hand. "Belle" I called out her name as soon as I saw her face.
"Oh hey Sasha . ." She smiled as she looked at me for a split second and turned towards Jason. "Here, I brought a housewarming gift"
"You didn't have to, but thanks Belle. Come on in" Jason pulled me from one arm and Belle from another. I guess our friendship has strengthened at some point in our lives.
"You guys talk to each other?" I asked curiously.
"Yeah, we actually caught up with each other recently and I told her about Paige because I was feeling so down that day" Jason pulled out his keys and unlocked the door.
"He looked so troubled that day so I couldn't even bug him" Belle chuckled as Jason let us into his new home.
"Paige, look whose here . . . whoa" Jason announces.
At first I noticed the kitchen, the small beautiful kitchen and a smile is brought upon my face just thinking about the future. My future with Yuri , one day. The fact that she exceptionally eats meat while I exceptionally don't, makes me smile even wider. My eyes travel to the living room where I see the most beautiful white couch and there sits Paige with her friend. Her friend looks at me for a while and smiles when I smile back at her.
"Belle!" Paige calls out her name and hugs her. She looks at me with the brightest smile and goes "And urrm . ." with such confusion. I could see Jason at the corner of my eyes mouthing the word 'SASHA'. She blushes from embarrassment as she greets me with a hug "Hi Sasha"
"Hi Paige" I hug her back with a grin on my face. I knew it would be a challenge for people to differentiate me and Yuri but with time, I guess the closest people would know. That's all that matters anyway.
"We just finished watching '50 Shades of Grey'" Paige blurted out looking at Jason and blushing. Belle joined in the conversation.
"We watched it too the day before" Belle spoke referring to her and Whitney. I just sat there not knowing what 50 Shades of White was. I noticed Paige's friend looking at me again. She had long dark hair and way too dark shade of red lipstick. Paige turned to her friend and looked at everyone in the room.
"So Guys, this is my friend Luna Torres. And Luna, that is Belle, Jason and Sasha" Paige pointed at each of us while Luna waved her hand and said "Hi Guys"
"Hi" I replied quietly. This girl can't take her eyes off me; I was starting to feel a little weird now. Do I know her?
"Can I talk to you for a second?" Jason grabs my hand and takes me into the kitchen.
"You know she seems fine, she looks very happy" I pointed out looking at the laughing and happy Paige. She looked totally fine and it was hard to say that underneath that smile, all that defined Paige was pain.
"She is happy with me and I with her. But that's not what I want to tell you" Jason said.
"What . . why? Is there more secrets you're keeping Haynes?" I crossed my arms and frowned at him. How many more secrets were there?
"Well just this teeny tiny . . " He began but he was interrupted by a voice that came behind me. It was Paige's friend, the Luna girl.
"Excuse me, could I speak to her for a minute?" My eyes widened as I realized she was referring to me. What does she want with me? I could see Belle staring at the three of us from the living room.
"Umm . . I don't think. . " Jason began again but he was again interrupted but this time it was Paige who interrupted him.
"Jason, we're out of soda's!" Paige yelled out, and without responding Jason just stood in between us not knowing what to do, almost like a statue. "Jason, honeyyy" Paige called out again.
"Coming!" Jason turned around and left us alone in the kitchen. I faced the girl and waited for her to talk.
"So Sasha, tell me about you" I stepped back slowly as she took a step towards me. What is up with this girl?
"There's nothing interesting to tell actually" I replied trying to make my way back to the living room but she blocked my way.
"I am sure there is a lot of interesting things about you" Her words were flirty. She was flirting with me. I wanted to scoff out loud. I wanted to make a scene but I didn't since she was Paige's friend.
"You're latin, aren't you?" I asked noticing her accent and looks.
"Yes pulchra"
"What does that mean" I raised my eye brow all confused. She looks at me and laughs silently. She tucked her hair behind so that I can see her neck. This girl was persistent.
"I just called you beautiful" She replied with a husky voice. Suddenly I was glad it wasn't Yuri in my place. The thought of someone flirting with her would make give me a thousand deaths. Rolling my eyes at the thought, I turned to her.
"You don't look so bad yourself" I stated and walked away from her. I was almost entering the living room when she said something that froze my feet to the ground.
"Then why didn't you call me?"
"Excuse me?" I turned around, unable to understand what she had just said.
"You were smiling a lot after I gave you my number, so I thought you'd call. Truth be told, I think us meeting again seems like fate" She played with her hair again as my face turned red from anger. YURI! After a second I could hear Yuri's voice in my head. "It's not what you think" Well, it better not be. I tried my best to remain calm and collected.
"You're mistaken" I replied to her, hurt by the fact that some chick gave my girlfriend her number and she smiled about it.
"So you're not a lesbian?" Luna asked again taking a step towards me. What is it with girls and throwing themselves at Yuri? And how many times do I have to save her from it?
"I am . . a lesbian and I have a very pretty girlfriend" I replied again with a firm voice.
"Oh. I am sorry." Luna looked disappointed but I didn't care. I knew Jason knew about this, that's why he wanted me to get away from her. He was going to face my wrath.
"Okay . . good talk" I muttered before I walked away from her. Walking in the living room, I searched for Jason and as soon as I found him, I grabbed him and brought in back to the kitchen. Thankfully Paige and Belle didn't think anything suspicious was happening. I wondered what they were talking about.
"Belle just explained to me what 50 Shades of Grey was all about. Is Luna crazy to watch that with my suicidal virgin daughter of a priest girlfriend?!!" Jason huffed.
"You knew . . . didn't you?" I crossed my arms and glared at him.
"I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about"
"I can't believe Yuri didn't tell me" I said quietly. I was disgusted at the way Luna was flirting, and to think Yuri smiled at her when Luna gave her the number kind of made me sad.
"Oh . ." Jason replied finally knowing what I was talking about. "Well it's not something worth mentioning. Yuri got her first recognition as a lesbian outside school, she was happy about it" He justified Yuri's reason.
"Well she shouldn't be, I've dealt with Whitney and now this Luna girl"
"After everything that has happened do you really think Yuri will be attracted to someone else?" Jason stated and I knew instantly that he was right. Acting jealous is not going to get me anywhere.
"No I don't. But I can't allow girls looking at her like she's some trophy"
"Well girls will and so will boys. But she's yours. Now I can handle Yuri being insecure but you're the tough one so, girl up!" Jason complained. I looked at him sighing in defeat. I could hear Paige saying goodbye to Belle. Deep down I wondered if she was leaving early because of me. Well it can't all be all about me, I must be so self-obsessed, I wondered.
"Fine. Go get soda's, I'll keep Paige company" I pushed Jason out to the living room where Paige frowned at him because he was late to get the drinks.
"I'll get the sodas baby" Jason gave Paige a quick kiss and left, leaving me alone with Paige. I looked around and noticed the Luna girl had left as well.
"Hi Paige, everyone left?" I sat on the couch and asked her clearly knowing the answer. I am so bad at starting conversations. Paige smiled slightly, there was something about her that didn't make me want to believe she was someone that was capable of hurting herself. She looks so full of life and healthy. I wondered if it was Jason that had brought such a drastic change in her.
"Oh yeah . . Luna said she had this thing at work and Belle just went home"
I paused for a second before asking her what I was going to ask. Knowing that Paige knew about me and Yuri, I wondered how much she knew exactly about us. "How much did Jason tell you about . . us?"
"Pretty much everything . . it's amazing though, how life gives us these gifts" Paige replied and I smile. I like her already. Haynes should keep her.
"Yeah it is"
"I have a question though, when you both meet . . how is it? Is it like how I am talking to you now, is it that realistic?" She asks curiously and I don't blame her. It's hard to explain it, Yuri and I having the little bubble is the most precious gift we could ever receive.
"Yeah . . pretty much. It's different compared to the reality but also close to reality. Our touches get so magical as if our senses are somehow heightened" I felt my cheeks burn as I remember our moments inside the bubble. How Yuri's skin feels so nice on me.
"I didn't believe it first, but Jason swore on me and I just knew he wouldn't lie"
"Paige . . . about Jason . . " I began talking, this was my opportunity. This was my opening and I had to go for it. I knew Jason wanted my help in making Paige understand how important living is. And I knew how difficult it must be for Jason to tell his girlfriend not to hurt herself. Especially when he had seen how broken a person gets when their loved one is gone forever, aka me. Then I came back. But not everyone can. "um he told me something about you. Something that you're dealing with."
"Oh"
"I was hoping I could talk to you about it"
Paige stared at me blankly. She was scared to talk about it, but I knew I could help her. Because I was dead once when all what I wanted to do was to live. Paige stayed silent for a while before speaking. "I am trying, you know. I am really trying for Jason."
"I know it's hard . . but hurting yourself isn't the answer. When I knew that I was going to die in order to save Yuri's life. At first I was happy because she gets to live but also I was terrified to think how her life must've been after I was gone. She cried . . every single day. She got drunk, she almost lost herself. Now I had no choice but to die, but you . . you have a choice Paige. You're not ill, you're healthy and there are many people in this world that needs you."
"I know . . . but when it's so much to bear . ." She buried her face with her hands.
"You bear it anyway. That is life. Everybody has their own problems, everybody is suffering in their own way. You live because this is your life, the only one you're gonna get. It doesn't matter if it sucks now, but when you bear it with nothing but positivity, you'll overcome it. I don't want to be this person, but look at us . . Paige, me and Yuri . . we are not like others. In the future, we're probably going to get a lot of hate . . but we're not going to hide under a rock and let it stop us from being us. If you die, how will your father live? You can't bail on life, Paige. You embrace it with open arms . . whether you like or not. Next time when you feel like your life is shattering, come over and we'll have ice cream" I smiled at her, letting her know that she could always count on us. Me and Yuri, to help her through whatever she was facing.
"Do you think ice cream will fix it?"
"Do you think hurting yourself would?"
"It lessens the pain"
"It doesn't . . You should know that a life is a precious thing. You need pain in your life too, to learn from it. Next time, pick up the phone and dial anybody before you pick up the knife. Because it's not worth it. You cannot give up when there's so much more to life" I explained only hoping she could see it. Life was indeed precious. No matter what life threw at us, it was time for us to stand up and say 'screw it, I'll bear it'. It was time for LGBT's, Alter/Host's or anyone who feels like they're unworthy to stop feeling like that. Haters gonna hate, but we . . . well we are going to love. Cause that's what we do. We love, we live, we thrive.
"I know that . . I am weak I guess" Paige murmured quietly.
"Alright, let's think of it this way. What if it was vice versa? What if Jason was suicidal? What would you say to him? Would you encourage him or give him the speech I am giving you?"
"I wouldn't let him hurt himself"
"Why?"
"Because it's stupid!" Paige blurted out loudly.
"There . . you're getting the point" I smirked. "Life is a beautiful thing Paige. Embrace it and never let it go . . live your life, you may have the happiest future and YOU might be the only one getting in the way of that"
Paige stayed quiet, she pursed her lips and looked down. "I . .err . thank you"
"Anytime, so I'm thinking you'll come over for ice cream if things get tough?" I asked her wishing she'd at least understood what I was trying to tell her. She wouldn't just stop cutting herself. But Baby Steps.
"I'll pick up the phone before the knife" Paige said silently looking at me this time.
"You know what, that's the second best thing I've heard tonight"