Shattered Dreams [EDITING] - Chapter 34: Chapter 34

COREY'S POV:
"Wait." My father calls from the kitchen as I'm about to make my way out of the door.
"I'm going to be late for training." I tell him but he just grunts, meaning he doesn't care, which is surprising because all he cares about is me sticking to my hockey schedule.
"Where have you been the past couple of days?" He asks me, not taking his eyes off of his newspaper and I'm surprised he's even noticed my presence was missing. I perch on the edge of the countertop as I'm tired from being in college all day. I came home after so that I could have a shower and stopped off at Nadia's on the way so that she could give me her phone.
She wanted me to take her phone so that she wouldn't feel inclined to text Jasper and Maddy. They have been texting her, saying sorry to her and that she should have a meeting with them so that they can sit down and talk. She called me crying as soon as she got the first text because she was half convinced to go and didn't know what to do. Luckily, I had just walked out of class when I got the call and was walking to my car, as Willem wasn't in today because his timetable is different to mine.
I made my way straight to her house and took her phone off of her, saying I will give it back when she feels like she can ignore the messages. I would block the numbers for her but I want her to be able to feel confident enough that she can ignore them. Blocking people is never a good way to cut contact when you're the one doing it, in my opinion it's harder to get over them that way.
"I've been to Willem's." I tell my dad, bored of the conversation that is bound to turn into an argument already.
"You're never at his house this much, it's that sister of his isn't it?" He asks me, only now just taking his eyes off his newspaper to look at me suspiciously.
"No." I lie.
"Don't lie to me, son." He orders, face turning red slightly in anger.
"I'm not."
I have been spending a lot more time with Nadia in the past few days. She has been exhausted every time I see her and yet she still made an effort to try and let me see her. We haven't been doing anything other than spending time together in her room and even on her roof when she feels like it. It's tricky hiding from Willem but he has recently met a girl who he is falling head over heels for. I'd like to think that if Willem is in a happy relationship, when Nadia and I get more serious and we tell him about it hopefully it will soften the blow.
Nadia is slowly opening herself up to me more and more each time I see her and she is beginning to let me know when she is in pain or has had enough of my company. I don't take offence when she says she wants me to leave as I know she was trying to let me stay for the longest she could. I don't want to leave on my own accord because I want her to be able to communicate with me about her feelings, physical and emotional ones.
We were laying in bed and she reached over to her bedside table and got her painkillers to take. It may seem like a small thing to the average person but to me and her, that is her beginning to let herself be truly vulnerable in front of me.
I am so proud of that girl and it's killing me on the inside to watch what she is going through but I have to act like it doesn't because it's not about me.
"Regardless, I need you to stop seeing her. She's not good for you." He declares, as if he hasn't known Nadia since she was a little girl. He has always been nice to Nadia but in recent times, he cannot stand the idea of me spending time with her.
"You wouldn't know what's good for me." I fight back, I will not be backing down with this, I care about Nadia too much.
"Yes I do because I want what is best for you and your career."
"She is what is best for me. You don't know her like I do." I admit, not meaning to say any of that out loud because I didn't even want to admit to myself the extent of what I feel for this girl.
"You can't deal with her. You can't deal with two women in your life who have a problem, let someone else deal with it." He asks of me.
It's weird, he doesn't seem like he is having a go at me, but instead advising me. My dad has never been the type to be nice when he wants something so this must be really tearing him up and I have no idea why. Just because it's fucking with his head doesn't mean I'm going to do it though, he has been putting so much pressure on me from such a young age and Nadia gives me peace when I'm with her.
"I'm sure I can manage, I'm used to it."
"It will drag you and your career down son, believe me." He says solemnly, his eyes showing the first sign of emotion I've seen from him in a while.
"Okay, I will stop seeing her as much but I'm not going to stop completely. She needs me." I tell him. I have no intention of slowing things down with Nadia or reducing how much I see her but if it makes my dad leave me alone for a few days then I will tell him what he wants to hear.
"Thank you. Now go to training, you're late."
"You-" I begin but cut myself off when he pays me no attention and goes right back to his newspaper. I did try to tell him I was late but he didn't listen, he is so infuriating. I noticed that he didn't have a can of beer on the table with him or in his hand but instead was holding an orange juice, which is weird as he usually has a can of beer as he reads the daily paper.
Maybe my father is beginning to change for the better.
I make my way to the ice rink in a hurry and rush to the changing rooms as soon as I arrive. I feel Nadia's phone vibrate in my pocket and it's probably Maddy as Jasper is in training. I put her phone in my locker so it won't distract me and I quickly change into my gym gear then head to get a bottle of water from the vending machine, which is the biggest scam in history. The refreshments in vending machines are always double than what they are being sold for in shops, but we all buy it because it's so much easier.
I'm thankful that training today is in the gym and not on the ice, I don't think I will be able to stand being bashed about on the ice after the day I have had at college.
I head upstairs to the gym and I'm not looking forward to seeing Willem. I haven't really spoken to him the last couple of days so it will be weird to see him. Every day I get closer to his sister and it makes me feel like me and him are becoming further apart each time, it hurts but I guess it is my own fault.
I hate lying to him.
I walk in and coach immediately spots me, "Nice of you to join us, Corey." He vocalises and all heads in the gym turn to me no matter what they are doing.
I nod in response and make my way over to the rowing machines and try my hardest not to make eye contact with Willem, who is on the cross trainers and is looking at me with an expression on his face which I don't like as I can't really read it.
I begin my set on the rowing machine and go through it with ease. I love the days where we are in the gym as it helps build my muscles up and it's a way to train in a way that also relaxes me. Coming to the gym helps me clear my head more than being on the ice does, when I'm on the ice I have to focus on the game and each move myself and my teammates are making and it's so mentally and physically exhausting.
Coach doesn't even have to be here observing us but he likes to so we can feel more like a team and so he makes sure we actually turn up, even though we almost always do. I used to think that the guy was lonely and that's why he stuck around with us but I just think he is a good coach who is full of team spirit.
I put my airpods in as I don't like the music coach puts on for us and make my way over to the treadmill, where Willem also comes over just as I do. I almost feel awkward around him. This is the man I used to tell everything to, well almost everything and now I can't even be around him out of fear I blurt out what is happening between his sister and I.
"What's up with you today?" Willem asks me and I am half tempted to turn up my music so I don't have to have a conversation with him at all. "Did shit happen with your dad again?"
For as long as I have known Willem my dad has been a dick to me. Willem knows that I get into these moods where I don't want to talk to anyone and I guess that is part of what is happening now. I was going to be a fully functional best friend with Willem today but my dad knowing about Nadia doesn't sit right with me. Now I have the constant anxiety of my dad telling people. I doubt he will because me being with Nadia as she is sick will be an embarrassment to him and it makes me sick to my stomach even admitting that.
She is not an embarrassment to me, her and my mum are the strongest women I know.
"Yeah, why else would I be late?" I respond, pressing start on the treadmill.
"Drunk again?" He asks, doing the same and begins his workout. Willem knows very little about my home life but still knows enough. He knows that my dad is a drunk who puts way too much pressure on me and that my mum kind of just ignores it because she doesn't want any arguments to happen.
"Surprisingly no, he wasn't drunk, he was sober." I admit and the words feel funny coming out of my mouth. Willem's eyes widen slightly as I say it, in shock that my father is sober for a change.
"That's a surprise. So, why do you look like you've been sucking on a lemon?"
I desperately want to go into detail about what happened with my dad but if I do that then Willem will find out about Nadia, so I will do what I always do and just say a little because that is always bad enough.
"He said I'm not focussing enough on hockey." I explain in as little detail as I can and he stops running for a second and almost ends up falling over but he recovers pretty quickly.
"All you do is hockey related things, is he insane?" Willem states and I grunt in agreement, getting slightly out of breath as I begin to run quicker the angrier I get.
"I know, it beats me." I respond. I used to be all about hockey and now I am seeing Nadia more and I will admit it is distracting me but it is a distraction that I happily welcome. I love being in her company.
I think the point of being with someone is where you can be in someone's company without doing anything and when you continue to get to know the person you are with. I learn new things about Nadia every time I am with her, even though I have known her for most of her life. I just wish I could open up to her the way she is starting to open up to me.
I want to speak about my life and situation sometimes when I am with her but I don't want it to seem like I am making things about me. I just want her to be able to let everything out with someone who is actually listening and that is me.
"Where have you been the last few days? I have hardly seen you." He asks and I panic, thinking he has caught me out.
"I've not been feeling very well the past few days." I lie and it tastes bitter on my tongue.
"You sure you weren't with Noddy? You looked pretty close at the restaurant the other day." Zack speaks up in a humorous manner from next to me, butting into the conversation.
Willem and I both turn to face him, silently telling him to mind his own business. I hate that Zach has said this because if he is questioning it that means other people may be as well but just doesn't want to say anything about it. If other people are questioning it then that means Willem may have at least thought about it in the past. I want him to be completely oblivious, as much of a dickhead that makes me sound.
"Shut the fuck up. He was helping her." Willem raises his voice, defending me when he shouldn't be and it makes me feel incredibly guilty.
I don't reply, I just look between them and then focus back on my workout, which is coming to an end. People assume that as we are hockey players we workout hard all the time which is true, but in these sessions we do chill workouts, which I like. It is nice and relaxed and we get to work together as a team without being on the ice.
I tune them out as they are still speaking to each other either side of me and don't respond to them. I feel too guilty to speak up. I don't want to have to lie to Willem if he asks me about it but I think it will have to happen as Nadia and I are cutting it close recently. Keeping it from Willem isn't exactly lying as what he doesn't know can't hurt him. I want what is best for Willem, of course and I will selfishly keep this from him because whatever is happening between Nadia and I will hurt him.
I finish up on the treadmill and make my way to the locker rooms again with Willem as the allocated time we have in the gym is over. We have morning sessions and night time sessions in the gym every Monday and Thursday so we get two workouts done in a day and four in a week. That on top of the amount of ice time we have and our own personal workouts is more than enough to keep us fit and healthy.
With how stressful college is getting, I don't think I will be able to deal with any more training time.
Jasper comes into the locker rooms and walks straight up to us with an angry look on his face, which isn't anything unusual with him. Willem and I look at each other in dread before turning around to face Jasper fully.
"I want you to stay away from Nadia." He tells me, as if what he wants matters to me.
"Why?" Willem asks, crossing his arms over his chest with a smirk on his face. He knows how to get under Jasper's skin and he's revelling in it.
"Even though we aren't together right now, we will be." Jasper says.
The guy is so deluded, he really thinks just because the two of them have always found their way back to each other that it will still be the same. Nadia went back to him when she didn't have me like she does now. I don't want to be the new Jasper to her, I want to be someone else entirely. I want to be someone who treats her how she deserves to be treated and can love her, even when she can't get out of bed.
Not everyday is a good day for her, in fact she rarely has those. Relationships are equal and both partners should give fifty percent but on one of her bad days, where she can't give her fifty percent, I'll equal it and give her as much as she needs.
Nadia is like the moon as well as the stars; she's beautiful even when she's not at her fullest.
"You're so deluded." I mutter under my breath but he still managed to hear it. It's like Jasper has super hearing whenever something about Nadia is involved. I had no idea he could even hear us from where he was on the pull up machine, unless Zach went and told him everything that was said.
"Not as deluded as you guys, feeding into her bullshit all of the time," he takes a step closer to me now so he's speaking directly into my face. "She's simply seeking attention and you're giving it to her, why else would she want to be around you?"
"Fuck off Jasper, that's my sister." Willem inputs, glaring at him.
"She's acting out because she misses me and wants me back, I'm just giving her a little longer to carry this whole thing on. It's quite entertaining to watch," Jasper smirks and all the control I had in my vanishes and I grab his collar and push him against the lockers again."It seems we get into this situation quite a lot."
"If you ever fucking say anything like that again I'm going to kill you." I spit in his face with so much anger radiating off me I'm sure I'm not to touch.
Willem just stays to the side of us with a sad look on his face and I want nothing more than to comfort him but the anger I feel towards Jasper and my need to protect Nadia is much stronger than the concern I feel for Willem. I'll speak to him about it afterwards, this can't wait.
"You won't do shit." Jasper laughs, trying to get out of my hold but I'm stronger than him and Willem stops his wallowing to put his hand around Jasper's throat, not enough to choke him, but just enough to scare him and his eyes go wide.
"I can get you kicked off this team for your drinking so if you even think for a second about saying something like that about my sister again then you're gone." Willem threatens and I can't help but smile. Willem has always protected Nadia but he isn't the type of guy to threaten people so to see that makes me proud.
"Alright man, fucking hell" Jasper says deafeated, putting him hands up in a truce.
I let go of his collar but Willem doesn't and stays holding his neck, almost like he's in a trance as he's staring at Jasper. The locker doors open and he lets go immediately, thinking it's coach or the other guys but Maddy walks through the doors, moving her hips from side to side in exaggeration.
"I heard they gave Nadia's showcase to someone else. Please send my condolences to her, she's not picking up my calls or answering her texts." Maddy's voice gets under my skin like nails on a chalkboard.
Willem flinches and I swear he's almost about to pounce on Maddy as she walks over to us and gives Jasper a kiss on the cheek. If I could beat the living shit out of both of them then I would and I'm sure Willem would be right by my side doing the same thing.
Jasper leaves alongside Maddy and he's been somewhat quiet ever since she's been in the room, which is weird. It's like he feels guilty, but that might just be me being shit at reading people.
Willem and I watch as the door closes and just look at each other. We knew that the time would come where someone would replace her in the showcase and replace her being the best skater but it's just a punch in the gut for it to happen so soon. I know that the rink has to keep going and Mark has to do what's best for his skaters but to see that Nadia is so easily replaceable as a skater after all her years of hard work doesn't sit right with me.
Not even just her being replaceable as a skater, but as a person too. It's like they don't care what she's going through and have forgotten about her.