Shattered Dreams [EDITING] - Chapter 42: Chapter 42

COREY'S POV:
I got a text from Willem about an hour ago saying that Nadia came out of surgery and that it all went to plan, which is good. He has been keeping me updated throughout and apparently the nurses are a little on edge because she is still feeling the effects of the anaesthesia.
I have been worried sick about her because I know her and know that she will be overthinking the whole thing, even in her drugged up state. She was worried she was going to die during surgery and it was only a minor one with very low chances of complications, so I would hate to see her if she were to have a major surgery.
According to Willem, Nadia was allowed to go into the actual theatre before she was put to sleep and I have never heard of that happening ever. Nadia seems to be the exception for a lot of medical things. I would say that she is the only girl in the world where doctors can't find the answer to her problems, but it is shocking how common it actually is. I was reading up on it the other day and it said that over seven million people are misdiagnosed every year so I can't imagine how high the number would be for people who keep getting pushed away, being told they have nothing wrong with them when they actually do have a medical condition.
I sigh and put my phone down as I wait for another update from Willem when Ed walks through the door with Will right behind him. "What's up with you?"
"He's worried about Nadia." Lily speaks up before I can and honestly forgot she was here as she was nose deep in her book.
"Piss off, how do you even know that?" I groan as Ed whispers in Will's ear, most likely explaining the current update about mine and Nadia's relationship.
"You were mumbling under your breath about Willem's texts." She shrugs, looking back to her book.
"Shit, of course. Did her surgery go okay?" Will asks and everyone looks to me for an answer.
"Yeah, she is fine," I reply, unsure whether to voice my thoughts or not but we all promised each other that we would try to be better towards each other and that starts with being honest. "I just really hope it works, for her sake."
"Yeah me too." Ed chimes in.
"Is it selfish of me to say that I don't want to have to watch her go through that. It's bad enough watching mum be in pain when she is." I ask Ed but Lily is the one to reply.
"Probably a little."
"Go back to your book." I warn her but she says something under her breath before doing what she's told.
"No, I don't think it is selfish. It is natural for you to not want someone you love to go through all that pain and suffering," Will speaks slowly, sitting down on the sofa next to me and Ed follows. "You just have to remember that they are the ones really going through it and have it worse, not you."
"He's right." Ed confirms with a nod of his head as he can't come up with his own ways to add into the conversation.
He is right though. When Archie was still alive it was hard for the team to be around him when we were training because his mood would affect how he would treat other people and it is the same with Jasper now and if he has had one too much to drink. We all discussed Archie and how we could help him behind his back and we even asked him outright sometimes but he never wanted our help. It was draining being around him because we never knew what mood he would be in and he would suck all the life out of us when we were all together because it felt like we all had to walk on eggshells around him.
We didn't really think about what Archie could've been going through and how much it affected him because all we could think about was how it was affecting us at the time.
Thinking back to it now, it was almost selfish that we were so distant with him, but it also wasn't as we had to think of ourselves and our own mental health too. If any of us had known how things would've ended up with Archie, then all of us would've done something more to help save him, but sometimes people are just too far gone to be saved.
"Oh shit," Lily gasps out in shock and we all look at her in confusion. "Sorry."
"No, tell me. I want to hear about it." I tell her and I see a small smile tug on her lips.
I am not a reader myself but I love when my sister talks about the books she is reading because she is so incredibly passionate about them all, even the ones she doesn't enjoy. She will always rant, or mutter under her breath about something her characters did wrong, or something that she found cute. I love watching how passionate people get about their hobbies and interests and I could listen to them talk about it forever, it never will bore me, even if they repeat themselves a hundred times over.
The way people light up when discussing something meaningful to them fills me with so much joy.
"I'm reading a brother's best friend romance book," Lily answers, half hiding her face behind the pages of her book.
"And what happened to give you that reaction?" I ask her as I am very intrigued.
"Her brother just found out about the two of them and he punched him," She begins before breaking out into a smile. "Which, I kind of hope Willem does to you when he finds out about you and Nadia."
"Oh, you are awful." I make a move to chase her and Ed barks out a laugh, but I stop when my phone vibrates in my pocket.
I check it straight away because it can only really be a text from Willem updating me on Nadia's condition but I am shocked when I see Nadia's name on my screen.
Nads: Imissyou.
Nads: Really wish you could come visit me.
I break out into a smile as soon as I read her texts and that's when I realise how much I really feel for her. That girl can make me smile from her words through a screen and it feels like I am with her when I am texting her, which is so beautiful to me.
I sent her a text telling her that I miss her too and that I will be able to come and visit her when she is back at home again and another text from her comes through.
Nads: Thank you for the flowers. I love them, especially the note.
Nads: Maybe I love you.
I stare at my phone with wide eyes and Ed comes to look over my shoulder to see what has got me in such a shocked state. "Oh, shit."
Nads: Ignore that, I'm still drowsyyy.
I reply to her, telling her to go back to sleep and turn my phone off fully so that she can't fuck with my head anymore tonight. I'm glad she liked the flowers and the note because I went all the way back to the abandoned house she showed me to pick the sunflowers near there. I thought she could use a piece of Archie with her today to help her get through it.
I am trying my hardest to ignore the way her texts sent a shimmer of hope through me. I hate that the logical side of my brain isn't working right now because if it was then I would understand that she sent it because she is still high from the anaesthesia and not because she means it. Instead, I am here thinking and hoping for the possibility that it could be true.
If I am not in love with her already then I am really fucking close. It's just hard to tell because I have no idea what love really is but this feels like what I imagine love to feel like.
"Mum is upstairs, right?" Ed asks Lily and I.
"Where else would she be?" I reply sarcastically, causing Ed to roll his eyes.
"Will came up with an idea and I think it's good." He announces and Lily puts her book down as she is now more intrigued in this conversation than her book.
"Go on.' She tells him to continue.
"She is the nicer parent and has no backbone when your dad isn't here so I was thinking that you could speak to her about you know who." Will explains and I have to admit I am a little confused.
"Voldemort?" Lily asks, clearly as confused as I am.
"No you idiot, Natalie," Ed clarifies and Lily and I are stunned into silence. "I know that we never speak about her and Lily, I don't even know if you remember her but I feel like it's finally time we talk about it."
I am so glad that Ed was the one to bring it up because I have always been so scared to, as I felt so stupid that I was still hung up over it. I just feel awful that my brother had to confide in his boyfriend about this family issue instead of coming to me, we could've been there for each other.
"Of course I remember her," Lily confirms. "You guys just never brought her up so I didn't think you wanted to speak about it."
"How are we going to ask her?" I query, not wanting to talk about the fact we haven't spoken about it before. It's all the past and we shouldn't dwell on it but it's good that we are trying to make a change now.
"Just go into her room? She can't exactly run away if you all corner her," Will suggests and It's nice that he isn't inserting himself into this as he understands that it's something we need to do alone. "Good luck guys."
He gives Ed a peck on the cheek before nodding his head in goodbye to Lily and I and he leaves, leaving an almost depressing mood surrounding us.
"Shall we just go and do it then?" I ask, wanting to get it over with as soon as possible because I can't imagine that it will go well.
"Come on then." Ed sighs, getting up and we both follow him upstairs.
We get to mum's room and stay outside for a few seconds before we all take a deep breath and enter, to find her sitting up in bed watching TV. She is shocked to see us all in her room at the same time, as we usually just go in one by one at different points throughout the day to check on her so when her smile looks forced, it's hardly a surprise.
"Yes?" She asks, muting her TV so she can focus on what we have to say without any background noise distracting her.
"We wanted to ask you something." Ed begins and mum nods her head, telling us to continue.
All three of us stay silent for a little while, not knowing how to go about this conversation but Lily being Lily, she blurts out what she wants to say with no sugar coating. "Where is our sister?"
Mum's eyes go wide and she quickly covers up the shock on her face. "I don't know what you are talking about."
"You do," I input harshly. "Please just tell us, we want to know that she is still alive at least."
It's hard having a random sister out there and she could quite literally be anywhere in the world. She could be living in the same town as me and I would have no idea. I could've walked past her in the street before but I wouldn't know because I have no idea who she is and it hurts.
"I don't know if she is alive. I would like to think she is but I have no idea where she is," Mum answers, looking at us seriously. "I mean it when I say that."
I feel a little deflated that even she doesn't know but it also makes me feel better in a way because it's not like she has known our sister's location this whole time and kept it from us, she genuinely didn't know.
"Why wouldn't you keep tabs on your own daughter?" Ed asks, a little more hesitant to believe her then I am and I can hardly blame him.
"Your father wouldn't be happy if he found out I was keeping tabs on her and quite frankly, I didn't have the energy to go behind his back and to hide it from him." She explains, pouring herself a cup of coffee from her flask.
"Why did she have to leave? Why were you and dad only ever horrible to her?" Ed digs, wanting to know much more information than what she is giving us.
"It was a long time ago and I made some mistakes." She shakes her head, as if to rid the memories she has of Natalie out of her memory.
"What mistakes?" I ask now, wanting to know.
Mum doesn't say anything, she just puts her cup down and rolls over so that she is facing the wall and not looking at us. "I'm too tired for this conversation." She mumbles and all three of us sigh in response.
"If you need anything, let us know." I mumble and brush past Ed and Lily to get out of the door. It felt like the walls were going to close in on me and the longer I stayed in that room the harder it would be to breathe.
Lily and Ed follow me out of the room, closing mum's door behind them and we all just give each other a knowing nod before departing back to our own rooms. Lily will be going back to her book, Ed will call Will to come back over and hang out and I will be alone, waiting until I am able to see Nadia again.
I head back to my room and turn my phone back on and have no more messages from Nadia but some from Willem asking me to come over because he is bored and Ava is busy so it will just be the two of us.
It's good that we asked my mum when we did because she is slightly nicer when she has had her medication, as she isn't so hateful to the world. She is in pain a lot so she is moody most of the time, which is completely understandable. She tries her hardest not to let it affect the way she treats other people but sometimes it does get too much for her. The only downside to her medication though is that it makes her so tired all of the time.
I get changed into comfier clothes and make my way to Willem's house whilst thinking about the fact I have to go through life without knowing who my sister is and that I have to live the rest of my life with a piece of me missing.