Shattered Dreams [EDITING] - Chapter 47: Chapter 47

COREY'S POV:
Training has been a nightmare as Willem isn't here and Jasper has decided that he could turn up late. He comes onto the ice with a frown and looks right at me as he skates right into my shoulder, knocking me off balance slightly.
"What the fuck was that?" I ask him, throwing my arms up in the air as I spin around to face him.
"Misjudged my distance." He shrugs his shoulders, adjusting his hockey gear on his head.
"Bullshit," I spit. "What the fuck was that?"
"Corey, calm down man." Logan says to me in a hushed tone, pulling me back a little.
"Yeah Corey, listen to Logan." Jasper mocks and I am one step away from punching him.
I am worried that I left Nadia all alone at home. She was asleep when I left but she promised me that she would be okay alone for a couple of hours. I love hockey but I want to be back at hers, alone in bed with her. She deserves to have someone there with her, I feel so guilty that I had to leave her which is why I'm in such a bad mood.
I will be back there as soon as I can to help her again.
She practically forced me to go anyway. I told her that I would skip it so I could be there for her if she needed it, as she appeared to be in a lot more pain than usual, but she wouldn't let me and wouldn't stand down.
She is so selfless; she is constantly putting me and others before herself even when she feels as though she is dying inside.
She makes me proud everyday.
"What the fuck is up with you two? We are supposed to be a team." Cole speaks up, apparently taking my role as captain for the day.
I am not being a very good captain right now as my mind is elsewhere and I am so mad at Jasper. He hurt my girl and he lost her for it and so he decides it's a good idea to make it everyone else's problem, when it's his fault and his alone.
"Didn't you hear? Corey is shacking up with Nadia at her house." Jasper speaks out, as if he is revealing some big truth to everyone.
"Okay?" Cole replies bluntly. "What's that got to do with you?"
"Everything." Jasper responds gruffly.
"Didn't you cheat on her with Maddy?" Nathan speaks up and Jasper glares at him until he cowers back, hiding his body behind me slightly. I almost laugh because Nathan is so much bigger than Jasper and yet is still terrified of him. He is a big softie at heart, it's sort of adorable.
"You do realise what she is going through right?" I ask him and he just stares at me blankly, which pisses me off even more. "You weren't there for her at all, you were too busy shagging her best friend."
"I didn't shag Maddy." Jasper defends but none of us believe it.
"Regardless, you still weren't there for Nadia when she needed it, that's on you." I tell him, trying to be as mature as I possibly can about this.
I look around as I have no idea where coach went to. He said he went to sort something out quickly but he has been gone for over five minutes.
"I was there for her the other week when you weren't" He smirks at me, trying to rile me up and it works.
I skate up towards him and get right in his face as I speak. "You don't get to start with that bullshit. You don't get to speak about her in that way anymore. You most certainly don't even get to even think about her anymore."
I push him out of my face after I speak as I can't handle the fact he's been that close with Nadia many times before. They have shared so many vulnerable and loving moments together that it makes me feel sick with jealousy because he never did deserve any of that from her.
I am a little embarrassed that I am showing my feelings for Nadia so much but I don't care at this point. He doesn't get to disrespect an innocent girl who has done nothing but love him. I am just glad Willem isn't here to see this.
"Does Willem know how in love with his sister you are?" Jasper says out loud in front of everyone and I want to shrink back into myself.
"Both of you, pack it in now." Coach barks out. I guess he's back then and I'm glad about the fact because I was one more comment away from breaking Jasper's legs so he can never skate again.
"You are supposed to be their captain, so start acting like it," Coach starts off by ordering me and then looks to Jasper. "And you, just shut the fuck up you selfish boy. Treat your captain and your girlfriend with some respect."
"Ex." I remind coach whilst smirking at Jasper and Jasper makes a move for me but coach holds his hand up to stop him whilst giving me a warning look.
Coach doesn't care about the way he talks to us and to be honest, neither do any of us. He is a good coach and he is a sort of father figure to us all when we are on the ice. We are all close with him as we have grown up with him and he has taught us everything we need to know about hockey. He wants to see us succeed more than we want to see ourselves succeed.
We know that he doesn't mean any of the hurtful things he says to us so no matter how much it pisses us off in the moment, in the end it doesn't really matter. He riles us up and gets us angry so that we are more focused on the game because the angrier we are, the more we want to fight to get the puck.
He's careful with it though because if we are too angry when we are on the ice we will lose focus on what's important and that can get ugly.
Before training I pulled the coach aside and told him about what was happening with Nadia and how I was looking after her. I wasn't too sure of the lie Willem concocted to the coach so I didn't ask and was just glad that he didn't bring him up. As we have a strict no phone policy on the ice, I asked the coach if I could leave mine on the borders so I can hear it ring if she needs me at any point. He agreed, knowing how bad the situation with Nadia is because Willem has opened up to him about it quite a lot because it has been affecting his training.
All throughout training I'm distracted by constantly looking over my phone to see if it lights up with anything and trying to ignore the watchful eye Jasper has on me. It's like he is waiting for me to break. Jasper was cool about Nadia and I when she told me in detail what happened so I don't understand why he is choosing to be a dick about it now. I guess Maddy wants nothing to do with him anymore either but that wouldn't make much sense because she has always been obsessed with him.
"Okay guys, that's enough for today, We can't do much without all of our players here so go home," Coach announces and we all make a move to leave. "Not you Corey, I need a word with you."
All the boys snicker under their breath, thinking that I'm in trouble so I stick my middle finger up in their direction, causing them all but Jasper to laugh and earn a warning look from coach.
"If you're keeping me behind to tell me off about Jasper I don't want to hear it." I tell him straight away and he holds his hands up in defence.
"I wasn't," He defends. "I wanted to ask how you're doing."
The question takes me back a little because he has never really asked me this before in all my years of skating. I know coach Grayson cares about me but he has never shown it as openly as this and it's kind of creeping me out.
"I'm fine." I reply bluntly, taking my phone off the border and looking at it to find no notifications from Nadia.
"No, seriously, this is starting to affect how you're skating." Coach informs me. I knew it was happening but I just wanted to ignore it. If Nadia knew she would feel guilty and never speak to me again to save my career but it's only happening now because she is all alone at home and I'd rather be there. Once her family is back things will be back to normal, or as close to normal as they can be.
"I just really didn't want to come today. I should be at home, looking after her." I explain to coach as best as I can.
"Willem says the same thing to me all the time," Coach begins. "You know she wouldn't want you both missing out. There is nothing either of you can do, I'm sure you understand that more than Willem."
"I know, I just hate not being there and that she's alone right now."
"She's a strong girl, Corey, she always has been. She will be okay for a couple of hours whilst you focus on yourself for a bit. You both have phones, she will contact you if she needs you." He reassures me and I feel a little calmer about the whole thing now.
"You're right, coach. I'm sorry, I'll try not to let it affect my performance on the ice anymore."
"Willem is going to kill you, you know." Coach tells me, as if I haven't heard this same thing numeros times before.
"I know but the heart wants what it wants." I flash coach a cheesy grin and he rolls his eyes at me with a small smile.
My phone pings and it's Nadia asking what's taking me so long to come home. She proceeds to say that she is fine and is just worried about me and it makes me smile a little. That girl will never admit when she needs help and will always disguise it with something else.
"Duty calls." I announce to coach and he mumbles a quick goodbye as I skate off the ice to gather my things in the lockers.
"What was that about?" Nathan asks as I enter and all of them are moving slower than usual. They were clearly waiting for me to be done talking with coach so they could ask me about it. The nosey fuckers.
"Nothing." I reply, looking over to Jasper who is staring at me intently. We keep eye contact for a couple of moments before Zack taps him on the shoulder, telling to come on.
I take the rest of my gear off and put my clothes back on, not bothering to have a shower because I want to get back home to Nadia as soon as possible.
I manage to get to her house without any more interruptions and drop my bag by the front door as soon as I get in. I make my way up to her room to go and check on her, wanting nothing more than for her to be okay.
Her door is closed, just as I left it and so I open it up to see her sleeping in the same position I left her in. I know she has been awake though because she had texted me so she couldn't have been awake for long.
"Nadia?" I speak up slightly, trying not to startle her but she doesn't budge. I decide to leave her be as I'm not sure how much sleep she managed to get last night. I want to make myself useful and do something other than sit and watch Nadia sleep to make sure she's okay, so I do some housework as I know for a fact Samanta does it everyday and is very anal about that sort of thing.
I start by dusting and hoovering downstairs, not wanting to do anything in the bedrooms because that's private and I don't want to be accused of anything. I look around and see that there isn't much else to do around here as Samantha always keeps it clean and tidy. There is a mound of clothes in the washing basket but I also decide against doing that because I don't want to be going through their washing. I don't want to accidentally touch a pair of my girlfriend's mum's knickers.
Is she my girlfriend? I consider her my girlfriend, I just hope she realises that.
I'm sitting around doing nothing again so my mind focusses back on Nadia and so I begin to worry again. I go back upstairs, with a cup of ice-cold water and a snack for her as I doubt she's even eaten at all since I've been gone.
I go into her room, turning the lights on as I do and she stirs awake, groaning at being woken up. "Turn it off." She mutters into her pillow and I smirk a little.
"Aren't you a little grouchy thing when you've just woken up?" I say to her, putting the stuff I bought up onto her surprisingly tidy bedside table.
She lifts her head up at the smell of food, looking towards the cause and her eyes light up in delight before hiding it again.
"I knew you were hungry." I say, handing her the plate of macaroni cheese, with extra cheese because that's how she likes it. She doesn't say anything to me as I hand it over so I pull the plate away from her grasp and look at her pointedly.
"Thanks." She mumbles and I hand her the plate at last. I am a massive fan of manners as they aren't hard to use and they do go a long way. I know she may not have the energy to use them all the time but it is still nice to hear them when she can give them to me.
"This is good." She informs me with a mouthful of food and that should be unattractive to me, but it's not. It somehow makes me feel for her more as I find it so comforting she isn't trying to impress me with how she acts, she can just be herself to do that.
"Well you're welcome," I reply, watching as she eats. I may look like a bit of a creep and look like I have put poison in her food and I'm waiting for her to pass out and die but really I just want her to eat it all as I know she doesn't have much energy to chew it all. Macaroni cheese is simple enough though so hopefully it won't take too much out of her. I'm also not sure how her throat is healing so it shouldn't be too harsh on her throat either as it's easier to swallow than more solid foods. "Do you feel refreshed after your sleep?"
"Not especially but I do feel better than I did before, less pain in my stomach." She informs me and I feel slight relief. The fact she is finally eating must be helping settle her stomach down as well.
Just before I got out of the car for training, I sent Willem a quick text message asking if everything was okay and he has now only just back to me saying it is. "Hey, what did those three go away for again?"
"Something business related apparently but I don't buy it if I'm being honest," She tells me and it makes me question what she could possibly be thinking. "Anyway, how was training?"
"It was a bit shit because Willem wasn't there and the fact Jasper was being a dickhead." I let her know. I wasn't going to tell her about the Jasper thing but I know she doesn't give a fuck what he does anymore because she isn't stuck in the same trap she once was.
"Nothing new there then," She chuckles after swallowing her food. "What did he do?"
"Was just being a dickhead to me about me staying around yours." I inform her.
"How does he know about that anyway?" She queries, finishing the rest of her bowl and downing her water to wash it down easier.
"Fuck knows," I begin but I'm interupted by my phone ringing in my hand. "It's Willem, hold on."
I walk out of her bedroom, closing the door behind me and go downstairs so that she can't hear me.
"How is she?" Willem asks me as soon as I pick up the phone and he sounds out of breath.
"What's got you so out of breath?" I question him, curious as to what 'business' he could be up to with his parents. I know for a fact they do go away a lot for business trips but they aren't usually out of the blue like this and they do usually take Nadia with them, even when she has been feeling a little under the weather.
"I have been running after my parents all day and this is the only free moment I have to call you about my sister so please hurry the fuck up and tell me how she is," He rushes out, making me immediately spring into action and tell him that his sister is fine. I go into as much detail as I can without it sounding suspicious that I am spending so much of my time worried about her. "Okay good. Let her know I love her, okay?"
"Yeah, Willem, I will." I agree and I am about to hang up the call but he speaks again, stopping me.
"Wait," He pauses for long enough just so he knows he has my attention. "I had a peculiar missed call from Jasper earlier."
I feel my heart drop out of my arse because this is it. After all Nadia and I have done to keep our relationship private is now over. My best friend; her brother knows about us and he is going to hate both of us forever because of it. I may as well say goodbye to my best friend and any chance of happiness I would've had with Nadia now.
"Look, Willem-" I begin but he cuts me off so I can't get a word in edgeways.
"He said on the voicemail that you're a bit of a twat and that my sister deserves better." Willem states and I swallow nervously.
"I'm glad he's finally noticed that she deserves much more than him." I say, hoping that Jasper wasn't too clear in his voicemail.
"Yeah, me too. Hopefully now he will truly leave her alone," He agrees and I release a breath of air in relief and I can feel my heartbeat begin to slow down again. "He's also right about you being a twat too. What did you do to upset him this time?"
"He's just mad that I'm at your house looking after Nadia alone. He wishes it could be him." I offer Willem at least a little bit of honesty today.
"Sounds about right." Willem sighs and I hear talking in the background on the other end of the phone, which I assume it's his parents telling him to get back to work. "Look, C I have to go now. Thank you for looking after my sister."
"You're welcome man, it's no bother really." I say to him before he hangs up the phone.
I turn around and I'm greeted with the sight of Nadia standing before me with a towel wrapped around her. She couldn't have had a shower or a bath that quickly because I was only on the phone with Willem for five minutes.
"Do you want me to run you a bath?" I ask her and she shakes her head slowly as a grin forms on her lips.
"What?" She says nothing, just takes my hand and makes me follow her through the kitchen to her back door. "You're sort of terrifying me. Did I give you the wrong medication earlier?"
"Look," She orders, nodding her head to the sliding doors and it's sort of hard to see as it's so dark out but the fairy lights help me see just enough to see that it's snowing out. "This is the first time we have seen snow settle in years, Corey."
"It's hardly settling Nadia." I tell her as there is only a thin sheet of white on the ground and is going to turn into slush by tomorrow, but I suppose that is better than nothing at all tonight.
"It will settle," She says hopefully. "Now put these on." She hands me a pair of camouflage swimming trunks, that certainly belong to Willem and I make a face of disgust.
"These better have been washed." She laughs in reply and slides open the door before walking out into the garden. I turn away from her, not wanting to make her uncomfortable when she takes her towel off and to also hide my own body when getting into these swimming trunks.
I am not entirely sure that this is a good idea because of how she is feeling but if she feels like she can do it then I won't stop her from doing something that she will enjoy. I also haven't seen this much of her body since we were kids playing in the paddling pool so I don't know how my own body will react to seeing hers.
I will just have to keep my eyes off her as much as I can.
I follow her outside and see that she is already waiting for me in the hot tub. This will be nice and relaxing after the training I had earlier so I'm glad she suggested it. "I thought I told you to put Willem's swimming trunks on." Nadia speaks out, looking down at where my trunks are.
"Funny." I deadpan as I walk up to the tub.
I feel the cold snowflakes drop on my shoulders as I climb into the hot tub and it warms me up instantly. Nadia turns on the bubbles, leaving the lights off as we have the fairy lights on.
"It's so beautiful out here." She comments, looking around.
"Yeah, it is." I respond, not taking my eyes off her profile. She's looking up at the sky with the stars peeking from behind the clouds and the snow falling down on her face. She opens her mouth to try and catch some of the snowflakes on her tongue but one gets in her eye and I can't help but laugh.
"This is so relaxing on my body. I don't know why I didn't think of coming in here sooner. It's helping ease the pain more than the painkillers sometimes do." She tells me and I'm proud that she is still trying to be as honest as she can with me, even when it's about stuff that she thinks doesn't matter.
"We are looking into the past right now if you think about it." She speaks up after a while, finally looking back at me. It's hard to see her face through the steam coming off the water but I just know she is staring at me intently, she always does when talking about the stars.
"How are we?" I question her, not knowing what she could be getting at here. I love watching her nerd out in talking about stuff she is passionate about, it makes my heart swell as she can still find enjoyment in things she once did.
"Because of the speed of light," She begins, looking at me so intently as she talks that it's almost difficult for me to hold her gaze. "If the star you are looking at is eight light years away then we are seeing that star how it was in the past."
"This is actually really interesting." I say in shock, looking up at the numerous stars in the sky.
I love when the sky is perfectly clear but there is something about when there are clouds too, it's like they protect the stars from something.
"I think that the people we have loved are now in the stars." I tell her, knowing she will agree with me because of Archie.
"Oh, definitely. I've always felt connected to stars and that's probably why." She replies, not taking her eyes off me even though the sky looks beautiful tonight.
"You are a star." I confirm, seeing the red tint on her cheeks and it's not from the heat of the tub.
"To be fair, I think I am," She begins, getting ready to start one of her cute little rants. "Black holes are essentially what occurs when some stars die as the energy that held it together collapses on itself in a massive explosion."
I nod along to what she is saying, not wanting to interrupt her train of thought as she babbles on.
"You know what a black hole is, right?" She asks me and I nod. "A thing that has this immense amount of gravity that nothing can escape from, not even light can."
"What are you trying to say?" I interrupt her as I can't keep up with what she is trying to say anymore.
"I feel like I have well and truly burnt out, I have no energy left and all that's left of me is this black hole that I can't escape from. It feels like eternal suffering." She admits to me, losing eye contact and looking back up at the stars for comfort.
"That's really sad, Nadia." I tell her, not knowing what else to say.
"Light or other electromagnetic waves don't have enough energy to escape one, just like I don't have enough to escape the black hole that is my life." She carries on and my heart genuinely hurts for the girl.
As awful as it is that she has to do it, it's nice that she can find things that relate to her. Whether it be the stars, the darkness or even other people, I am glad that she has a way of feeling less alone. It is at least some pressure off her chest.
I don't have the words that can comfort her so I pull her into my chest from the otherside of the hottub and sit her on my lap, where I can now see her face as it's lit up by a warm white light from the fairy lights.
I pick off the wet strands of hair that are stuck to her face and place them behind her ear so that I can see more of her. Her eyes are sparkling from the lights and her cheeks are flushed because of the heat. Her eyes are tired though, I can see it and I want nothing more than to be able to take away every little bit of pain away from this girl.
"I know I will live through it all, I just hate having to." She admits, her eyes turning sad. I wrap my arms tighter around her, trying to provide that extra bit of comfort.
"You don't have to prove yourself to anyone who doesn't understand what you are going through, Nadia, remember that." I offer some advice as the fact no one believes what she is going through is wrecking her.
"I know, but in the end it's always going to be me fighting for myself." She says and I am half offended by this because I am not going to leave this girl under any circumstances.
"You're it for me, Nadia. You're my person. I will always be in your corner even when you push me away," She says nothing, just stays staring at me attentively so I speak again. "You're beautiful."
I lean in to kiss her and she meets my lips half way and I can feel the sweat beading on my chest and forehead. We deepen the kiss and I slip my tongue into her mouth. My hands travel from her back down to her hips and I hold them there, wanting to feel every inch of her but also not wanting to cross any of her boundaries.
She breaks the kiss, suddenly increasing the distance between our faces. "I've had enough now."
"O-okay." I stutter, still a bit dazed from the incredible kiss. I unclasp my hands from her hips and she gets off my lap. I hold my hand out so she can lean on me for balance as she gets out of the hot tub. I follow shortly behind her and we forgot to bring towels out with us, so we jog to the back door as the winter air is too much to deal with.
When I get back into her house, I slide the doors closed behind me and stay facing them, not wanting to face what just happened with Nadia.