Shattered Dreams [EDITING] - Chapter 60: Chapter 60

NADIA'S POV:
I wake up to my alarm and I don't want to make an attempt to get out of bed but I know that I have to as my grandparents will be here soon. The house smells like cinnamon buns and my stomach growls at the thought of eating them.
I need to dress up for my grandparents so I opt for a black satin dress, that fits loosely enough it'll hide the amount of weight I've lost since becoming a prisoner.
I'm sitting at my dressing table, with the lights around the mirror turned off to stop a migraine from returning, when my mother knocks on the door all dressed up herself.
"You look lovely," She smiles as she comes up behind me, helping me tie my hair back into a ribbon. "I thought you could wear these pearl earrings of your grandmothers, she would really appreciate seeing you in them."
I nod, staring at myself as she puts the earrings into my ears and I can't stop myself from thinking about how much I have changed. I know I'm pretty, It's all I've ever heard growing up but my once rosy cheeks and full face is now empty, with a sort of pasty colour to it.
I look like all my life has been sucked away from me and I feel exactly the same way too.
My mum checks over my hair and outfit
once more and picks up my makeup brush, dabbing it into my blush before applying it to my cheeks. I stay unmoving, letting her make me up to the daughter she wants me to be.
Even though I thought it would make me look more alive, when I look at my reflection, all I see is the pain and misery I have endured staring back at me.
My mum seems to notice that her attempts of making me look well aren't going according to plan so she steps back with a large sigh and pats down her dress so it looks picture perfect again.
I continue staring at myself without saying anything to her and she opens her mouth to speak to me but the doorbell rings, cutting her off from whatever she was about to say.
"Oh, that'll be them, put some nice shoes on and meet us all downstairs," My mum runs out the door and then calls back to me, "Also get your brother."
I give myself a once over in the mirror before leaving to head downstairs and on the way I bang on Willem's door, shouting at him to come downstairs.
"They're here already?" Willem asks and I nod in response. "Best greet them then and then find a million excuses so we can leave early."
I follow him downstairs and my parents and grandparents are waiting for us at the bottom of the staircase. "My darling boy and girl." My grandmother coos, walking towards us with open arms.
Willem and I walk into her arms, giving her a big hug because if we don't then she will be nagging us for one the whole night.
We sit around the dinner table and eat and Willem and I stay silent as they all talk amongst themselves and I can't say that I am following what they are saying.
"Nadia," My grandmother's voice brings me back to reality and I look up, trying to chew my food in a more dignified manner. "How is that boyfriend of yours, is he still treating you well?"
I am floored by this question and have no idea how to answer this because I doubt my mum would've told her that we have broken up. I look towards my mum who nods her head at me in encouragement. "We parted ways recently."
Grandma's face fills with shock and my grandpa almost chokes on his meatball and with this reaction I wish I would've just lied about us and say we were still together.
"Why?" Grandma croaks out, about to go into one of her rants. "You need to have a stable life and that means getting a husband who will treat you right."
"I'm not being rude here grandma, but I really need to focus on myself right now, not a boyfriend who couldn't give me the time of day." I say calmly, almost snapping but I refrain from making it appear that way.
"Are you still not well, dear? You certainly don't look it." Grandma asks and I shake my head at her, trying my hardest to ignore the dig she made at my appearance. "We bought these new vitamins for you to try, they are in my bag."
I stay silent, not wanting to comment on it because it will only end up in an argument. My mum has told her that I have tried all sorts of vitamins and different medications yet they didn't seem to do anything but she won't listen, she insists that the one's she gets will work on me.
Noticing that none of us are going to speak up about the vitamins she thinks she has got her own way, she carries on speaking, "Did you get your Christmas gifts?"
I stare at my plate, not feeling hungry anymore and just wanting to go to bed as my temples are starting to pulse. "Yes, we did. Thank you, Grandma." Willem speaks up now, taking the focus away from me.
For Christmas this year, my brother received tickets for him and Corey to go and see the NHL final in America with the flights and hotels included but little do they know that Corey won't be the one he goes with anymore.
I received a spa treatment. Not one that is every teenage girl's dream but instead it's one where it's like a detox, where they put me through different kinds of holistic treatment methods in an effort to try and cure me. All it will do is make me feel like even more of a freak than I already am.
It's safe to say that my Grandparents don't
understand what's happening to me.
"You're welcome." My grandpa says, lifting his glass up. "We added a yoga course to your treatment as well, Nadia so you have that to look forward to."
I sigh, feeling the tears welling up in my eyes but not wanting to let them out as I don't want to appear weak in front of the two people who bring everyone down to watch them break.
"I'm going to go up to bed, I think I've had too much to eat." I announce, patting down my dress as I stand.
Willem looks at me, silently asking me if I'm okay and I nod to him, ignoring the stares from everyone else in the room.
"I'm going to head out too, I have plans with a girl." Willem smiles and I'm glad that my escape tactic is being overridden by his mention of a girl.
I give my grandparents a kiss on the cheek and a quick hug as they stay seated, talking to Willem about the new addition to his love life and retreat upstairs to my room, the place that is the most comforting to me, even though it is a constant reminder that it'll be all I ever have to show for myself.
I stay in my clothes, only slipping my black flats off and lie on my bed and look up at my ceiling. After a short while of listening to music wallowing away in the background, Willem comes into my room with his party clothes on now instead of a suit.
"Poor girl, she's probably expecting you to turn up in your suit and tie." I comment when I see him now in jeans and a t-shirt.
"She's not the sophisticated type." He smirks at me and I want to throw my pillow at him but I don't have the energy to move.
"Tonight's been exhausting." I sigh out, going back to my usual ways of confiding in him.
"Tell me about it," He replies, handing me the bear Corey got me from my dressing table. "They'll understand one day, Nads. You're seeing that doctor soon."
I hum, not wanting to speak anymore and just glad to have something near me that reminds me of Corey. I don't think Willem knows that this is the same bear which caused him to find out about us but if he does I can only appreciate him giving it to me even more.
"Have fun tonight." I tell him as he leaves and he smiles at me, before whistling his way out the front door in excitement.
He really does seem to like that girl, I just wish he understood how much I feel the same for Corey.
I need to stop being selfish by thinking about my relationship with Corey and focus on the fact that Willem is actually starting to speak to me again. It's the longest we had gone without talking to each other everyday and it was killing me.
I take my phone and take a selfie, wanting to feel more confident in myself and post the first one that I take, not caring that my eyes look slightly wonky. It's a real photo of me and not one that has been heavily fabricated to show how perfect my life is when in reality it never was.
Comments come flooding in and they are all complimenting me, telling me they miss me and how we should meet up again soon. I roll my eyes because if they can comment on what I post on social media, then they can send me a simple text asking how I am if they truly cared that much.
I know they aren't my true friends, everything is always a social media front with them. It's like they are screaming to everyone else, "I am friends with the sick girl, show me some attention."
I don't know how much time passes but all I know is that I fell asleep and music and laughter from downstairs woke me up. This happens every year, my parents and grandparents get absolutely hammered in an attempt to forget all about my uncle, who passed away six years ago on new years eve. They drink in memory of him and his life and Willem and I never like to disturb them because it isn't about us, we don't kiek to grieve about our Uncle because we weren't the closest to him as we were bratty teenagers at the time, who cared about getting drunk more than visiting family members.
I look at my clock and see that it's almost midnight, so I should be glad of the alarm clock of music and chatter because I would've missed the fireworks otherwise. I head to my window seat and make myself comfortable, with Bella sitting herself beside my feet.
I rest my head on the window, waiting for midnight so I can watch the fireworks give me my only source of entertainment for the night. I am disturbed shortly after though, as my door flies open and Corey walks in and I stand up at the shock of seeing him here and Bella runs towards his feet, jumping up at him in excitement before plodding herself back on the window seat.
"I don't like it when you ignore my messages but can post a sexy little selfie on Instagram." He informs me in a mad tone but I know he's not mad at me because he understands why I did it.
"Hello to you too," I comment, watching his nostrils flare. "I missed you."
His gaze softens and he takes a cautious step towards me before finally rushing at me and taking me in his arms. "I've fucking been worried sick, sweetheart."
"I've been fine," I shrug, not wanting
to make a big deal of how much my heart has been aching from the loss of him in my daily life. "What are you doing here?"
"I wanted to see you and I knew Willem wouldn't be in," He puts me back down on the window seat now, winking at me. "Your mum let me in."
"She's our biggest supporter," I laugh.
"After Bella, of course." He adds, scratching my dog on her stomach as she pants up at him, kicking her left leg as he has her itchy spot.
"How's the extra training going?" I ask him, subtly trying to see if he appreciates it or not.
"You think I wouldn't realise it was you that sent the board an anonymous tip?" He questions me with a half smirk.
"And why would I do that?" I ask, acting oblivious to the whole thing. "That's a wild accusation to make, C."
"Because I know you, Nads, You felt bad that I missed so much of my training because of you so you wanted me to be able to get some back so I have a better chance on furthering my career," He explains and my mouth opens at how much he just read right through me. "And the fact that no one on any team has even heard about there being any drug use."
"I had to use my initiative." I smile at him and the way he looks back at me makes my insides turn to jelly.
"Well, thank you," He brushes my hair back behind my shoulders. "You know I would rather look after you than miss training always but the extra weeks have really helped."
"So.. you're not mad at me?" I query because when I sent the board that email my first thought was that he would be mad at me for interfering.
"I could never be mad at you." He places a soft kiss on my forehead.
I stare at him with a smile, getting lost in my favourite place, his eyes and pull him towards my french doors. "We need a better view of the city."
His former confused expression fills with understanding and he goes first, pulling me up to the roof to join him.
"It always looks much more stunning up here." He comments, looking out towards the view. The town seems bare, with the street lights turned off and the only lights that can be seen are the ones coming from houses and pubs as different families celebrate going into the new year.
We see people head out in the street with pots and pans, getting ready to tap them all when the clock strikes midnight. Corey goes down to my room for a few moments before coming back with a thick blanket and my snoodie I got from Willem for Christmas. I lift my arms up for him to help me put it on and then he wraps the blanket around us both, keeping us warm in the winter chill.
The night sky lights up in an array of different colours, such as blue, green, yellow and orange as the fireworks burst up into the atmosphere, telling us that it is now the new year and we have gone into it together.
Every year I would come up and spend this time with Archie so it's nice to do something that I once did with him without it ripping me in two.
Corey turns his head to me and guides mine with his hands so that I face him back and he kisses me deeply and I sink into the feel of his lips on mine as it's something I've been without for so long.
"You're it for me you know, Nads, you're my person." Corey says against my lips, his voice breaking through the sound of fireworks overlapping in the sky.
"You're it for me too, C, we are from the same constellation of stars." I admit to him, feeling my insides do somersaults at the vulnerability of the conversation.
I turn away from him again, looking off the rooftop and resting my head on his shoulder, watching the city celebrate making it through another year. He wraps an arm around me under the blanket, rubbing my shoulder lovingly and I feel at ease in this moment, here with him, the only thing that feels missing is Archie but he surrounds us in the stars.
I think back to all I have endured this year and smile at myself because I am proud of myself for staying alive despite it all.