Shattered Dreams [EDITING] - Chapter 69: Chapter 69

NADIA'S POV:
I may have gotten a little distracted when getting out of bed this morning. I forced Corey out of the bathroom so that I could get dressed, which is what I was supposed to be doing before his fingers ended up down my underwear. He picked out a pair of cargos with a fluffy teddy bear jumper, to stop me getting cold in the winter air.
I brush my teeth, looking in the mirror as I do so and notice the flush still prominent on my cheeks. I had a moment of haze with Corey that wasn't supposed to happen but it felt empowering in a way. He made me feel good and only focused on me, which I really appreciate as I never had that with Jasper because it would always be about him. I spit out the toothpaste and stare at myself once more. I trace my skin where Corey's hands touched me on my arms and neck and a smile rises up on my lips at the memory. I felt safe in his touch like I always do and whenever I am with him I just feel as though I can heal from all the things I don't speak about out loud.
I do nothing major with my hair and just use a few bobby pins to keep it out of my face, also opting for just mascara on my face today. I wouldn't wear any makeup as I personally don't care about my appearance anymore but I want to look nice for Corey. I want people to walk past us and think that we are well suited for each other because we are both good looking.
I make my way back to my room as I want to know what Corey has in store for today and hope that I don't run into Willem in the process. I'm unsure as to why he didn't question why I was speaking the way I did when he spoke to me through the bathroom door but maybe he just didn't notice.
Ever since waking up I've been excited as I want to know what is happening today. I usually hate surprises but this time I am filled with excitement as to what could possibly be going on. My mind is going in all sorts of directions trying to figure it out but all my date options are limited to summer. The only winter option I can think of is going ice skating together but I know he wouldn't be as cruel as to dangle an ice rink right in front of me like a carrot to a donkey.
"Can you tell me where we are doing yet?" I question as he looks me up and down with a slight smirk on his lips. I open my mouth wide and walk up to him, slapping him in the arm for being crude. Whenever I was intimate with Jasper there would always be this awkward aura around us, like we wanted to say and do things but we were too afraid. I guess our relationship was always running on empty, whereas with Corey we are constantly building and growing together, just like a relationship should do.
It didn't help that everytime Jasper and I had sex it felt rushed, like he didn't want to be having sex with me, but just wanted to be doing the act. I know that he loved me at some point in our relationship, that is inevitable. I just don't know what happened for all to change so drastically.
"That won't be happening, sweetheart," Corey responds, unmoved by my soft eyes. "And those puppy dog eyes aren't gonna get you anywhere."
"But you know how much anxiety surprises cause me." I milk it as much as I can but his expression stays stoic.
"Then you better get a move on so you can see what it is."
I huff out at his response and head downstairs, with him following behind me carefully. He slaps me on my bum when we reach the bottom step, causing me to let out sharp gasp. I ignore him, rolling my eyes as I walk to the car, hearing him laugh quietly behind me.
"Are you going to tell me where we are going yet?" I try my luck again but he just turns on the radio, setting off without a word to me. "You know I can see the location on the screen, right?"
"I know," He grins at me, chewing his chewing gum and the sight makes me close my legs a little tighter than usual. "But it won't tell you much, darlin'."
I sulk like a child the whole way to the destination, trying to guess what the fuck could be going on at the church. Just as we are about to pull up to the church my eyes go wide with the idea I have in my head.
"You aren't bringing me here so we can get married, right?" I guess, with it being the only logical thing I can think of as to why he is bringing me to a church.
"You've caught me," He grins as he turns into the church, causing my eyes to go wide again and as I open my mouth to speak he carries on speaking. "I want to marry you, just not this soon. Look around."
I push down the flutter that builds up in my belly and do as he says, taking in all the people who are walking in and out of the building. I try and see what leaflets they are holding, trying to make out if we are going to someone's funeral or something but I can't decipher what it is. As he finds us a parking space I try to see if I can spot any signs to show what is going on here and I let out a squeal when I finally clock on.
"Oh my fucking god," I squeak, turning towards Corey and clapping my hands excitedly. "No fucking way."
Corey doesn't respond to my excited rambings he just smiles to himself whilst shaking his head, pleased that he has made me feel like this.
So that he can be a full on gentleman today, I wait in the passenger seat for him to open the door for me but he goes into the boot before making his way over to my side. I am about to question what he was looking in the boot for but it is soon answered when I see that he has two crutches under his arms.
"Corey..." I begin but he holds up a hand to cut me off before I even say what I want to.
"Please don't fight it." He pleads with me and the way his eyes are soft when they are looking at me means that I have no fight in me. I sigh and accept his hand when getting out the car, getting myself positioned in the crutches before he has a go at me for saying no to using them.
I put my pride on the back burner and walk with him using my crutches, which now that I think about it I am glad he brought them with him. Ever since running down the landing from him this morning, my legs have been cramping up, causing me agony but I haven't let it show just like I usually don't. When I experience pain now, I don't even want to think about it in my own head so I kind of just push it to the side, trying my hardest to forget it's even there in the first place. It doesn't end up working very well but it will do for today so that I don't ruin Corey's day.
We get to the entrance and he shows the tickets and I try to contain my excitement. He brought us to a Van Gogh museum and I had no idea it was in town right now. I can't believe he remembered that I have always wanted to come to one of these as it was mine and Archie's dream. He shows the tickets to the person at the front and we go in, entering the main church room. "Oh my god." I murmur under my breath when I realise that it's the immerse experience.
"I'm surprised you remembered I told you this." I whisper to him as he leads me to take a seat on the floor instead of on a pew as they are uncomfortable. In my mind I thought that when I walk in people would be staring at me and wondering why I am using these sticks but I have been looking around, hyper aware about the people around me but none of them have even bothered looking up from what they are doing.
I smile to myself slightly at being left under the radar and follow Corey to the floor. I decide to lie down and place my head in Corey's lap so that I can be the most comfortable I can be. He plays with my hair as we wait for the experience to start.
The first painting plays and the story starts. I am in awe as the world of the paintings surrounds us and it feels so surreal to see the life made within them. As they move and transition into the next I submerged myself into the life within them as when I look at his paintings, I can almost feel everything that's going on in them. I cling to my necklace and imagine that Archie is here with me as it moves on to the next painting, which is starry nights.
I feel Corey take my other hand in comfort and my eyes immediately tear up with what I am seeing. The blue overtakes the room, illuminating both mine and Corey's faces. In the azure he looks dreamy and I just look up at him as it reflects off him, his eyes filled with the familiar spark, reminding me of a star in this painting. He catches me staring and looks down at me, kissing me tenderly and this feels like the most intimate kiss we have ever shared together. We are both vulnerable at this moment as Corey is opening his heart to me by taking me here and I am travelling through different worlds through paintings with him and it helps me know that if the multiverse is real then we would be together in all of them no matter what.
I look back to the painting and kiss my necklace now, hoping that Archie can feel my love and warmth from wherever he is. This was our favourite painting and I always promised him that I would try and paint my own starry nights to put in the living room of the house we were going to renovate together.
It's weird because when I am thinking about this now, I am not getting upset, I feel somewhat at ease and comfort when I think about him. I have been trying to paint it when I have been feeling up to it, which is not a lot of the time, but when I have been doing it I have always said that in my rendition of starry nights, he is the biggest star of them all.
The scene moves on from this painting into his sunflower ones and I smile at the sunflower bed we always imagined in our make believe house. Corey looks at me and gives me a cheeky wink and I just want to blurt out how much I fucking love him. He didn't bring me here to win points with me or get in my pants like Jasper would've done. He brought me because he knew I needed to get some sort of closure from this aspect of my relationship with Archie. I would've gone my whole life without coming to one of these because I wouldn't be able to do it without him but here I am because of Corey and I get to feel everything so deeply.
My eyes are full of tears and my cheeks most likely have mascara streaks running down them by the time we leave and I am too in awe at what just happened to care about using my crutches in public. I am in agony from being out for so long and I am exhausted from the mental exhaustion that took but I push it away because for once, I am truly happy.
I get into Corey's car and wait for him to get rid of my walking aids. He comes back in the car with sunflowers in his hand and I want to slap him for being so disgustingly cute.
"You really are a muppet, you know that right?" I say to him with blush filled cheeks.
"Oh, I know," He says, reaching to the back seat for a bag and opening it, revealing snacks of all kinds. "These are my after training snacks. It's a guilty pleasure."
I look at him with raised eyebrows, pulling out a bar of chocolate and unwrapping it. "Shouldn't you opt for a snack that is healthier?"
"I need my sugar for energy." He comments and I hold my hands up, telling him I won't press any further.
We sit in comfortable silence for a short while, pigging out on the snacks he has but it's not awkward and it's honestly nice. I always enjoy Corey's company, even when I am trying to push down the cries coming out of me because I'm in so much pain.
"Did you enjoy that?" He asks and his tone is full of vulnerability.
"I loved it," I respond, taking his hand in mine. "Truly, it was the best thing I have ever experienced in my."
"I'm glad," He smiles, kissing my hand that is wrapped up around his. "I was reading up on Vincent and is it true he was murdered?"
"Don't get me started on this topic, C, you'll never hear the end of it," I warn him but he just stares at me, wanting me to carry on. "It is a very big argument and I personally believe it was suicide as everyone around him and the authorities believe it was."
"Really?" He asks, wanting me to ramble on about it more. "I guess we will never know for sure though."
"Yeah, he had a very troubled life and lived with a wish to die, which is proven in a lot of his paintings, especially starry nights," I babble on whilst eating chocolate but Corey doesn't seem uninterested in the slightest. "He had a fascination with all things stars, death and transcendence."
"What does starry nights mean to you?" He asks me and although it is a simple question, it makes my stomach build up with butterflies as it's such a meaningful question to me.
"It's like a dream," I answer, watching as he grows curious at my interpretation of the wildly popular painting. "His own words were, 'I confess I do not know why, but looking at the stars always makes me dream."
It seriously is beautiful. To me this painting is what it is like to be dreaming and hoping. The painting is full of blues but there is some darkness in it; such as grey and dark green and the difference in the colours in this particular painting tells me that life can be blue and dark sometimes, but then you look up at the sky and see the stars.
Whenever I see or think of this painting, I think of Archie and the struggles he faced in life, but I also think about how beautiful life can be. The painter was struggling with so much darkness in his life, which you can see on this painting but then you see stars, a village and lights coming from within. It is all so beautiful and bright, taking your focus off the darkness within the picture. This lightness to me indicates hope and shows that no matter how dark and blue your own life seems, there will always be some kind of yellow in your painting. It gives me hope and the yellow in my painting always has been and always will be Archie but Corey is mixing his way into the colour now too.
I think that Vincent's dream within this painting is death.
"Wow, you and this guy are really alike." He comments, laughing to himself.
"We both have had utterly miserable lives too." I joke, but there is no real humour behind my words.
"On that note, I'm going to take you home now." Corey sighs.