Shattered Dreams [EDITING] - Chapter 74: Chapter 74

COREY'S POV:
"Wake up," The nurse shakes me awake and I notice she is holding the blood pressure monitor beside her. "I need to check your observations."
I nod my head, too tired and groggy to really understand what she's saying but go with it anyway. I feel the bed next to me for Nadia as I crave her touch as that instantly makes me feel better but any feeling of hope of her being there is replaced by anxiety as I don't feel her. I look to the chair beside my bed and she's not there either.
My heart sinks, thinking about how she left me when I needed her most when I have been there for her time and time again. Even if she is never there for me I wouldn't stop being there for her, it just stings slightly that she has jumped the gun at the first opportunity.
"Relax," The nurse tells me, seemingly knowing all the thoughts spiralling in my head right now. "She's in the waiting area."
"What is she doing in there?" I ask, wondering why she isn't here next to me.
"We have a strict visiting time schedule and she refused to leave you on your own so we said she could sleep out there." The nurse, who's called Poppy, explains to me.
"She's sick herself, she should've been allowed to stay here with me." I tell the nurse, my head pounding with the slight raise of my voice.
"It isn't advisable for sick people to visit the hospital anyway." The nurse gives me a sharp smile, going to check my temperature now.
"Disabled, not sick." I bark, watching as her mouth forms an 'o' shape and her cheeks tint red. I didn't want to say disabled at first as I know that Nadia doesn't like to admit it.
"I didn't know that, but she still can't be in here. She should've gone home." The nurse argues and she makes a valid point but I am the same as Nadia. We are like two magnets, you can't pull us away from each other with ease, especially when one of us is suffering.
"When can she come in?" I ask, not even knowing the time.
lIn three hours," She smiles, pushing the table over my bed. "Now, eat your breakfast, you're getting discharged today Mr Hockey."
I am starting to get a feeling that these nurses aren't very professional.
I watch as she walks away and pulls my curtain closed behind her and tuck into my breakfast and an idea slips its way into my painful head.
I press the buzzer for the nurses to come to me and they come after five minutes of it being pressed, so it's a good thing I wasn't going into cardiac arrest or something.
"What's the matter?" The same nurse, Poppy, asks me curiously.
"Can I have some painkillers please?" I query and she nods her head, going off to get me some.
I waited around, staring at nothing and listening to the sound of the people on my ward and it must've been about twenty minutes until she showed up with my tablets.
"There you go." Poppy says, handing me a small paper cup with two paracetamols in.
"I have another question." I ask just as she's walking away.
"Go on." She urges.
"Can she come in yet?" I ask her, regarding Nadia.
"No." She deadpans.
"Why?"
"Because it's not visiting time yet."
"I want to see her." I order, growing impatient.
"Then you can see her at ten o'clock." Poppy bounces back.
"I want to see her now." I say, not budging but Poppy doesn't also, she just writes down my numbers and goes to the door to leave.
"Your parents are coming to visit you today." She informs me and my eyes widen because I completely forgot about them.
Now that I'm thinking about it, I thought that they would've come to see me last night when I first got admitted but I haven't heard anything from them. I'm unsure if they have even sent me a text message as my phone is still in my locker. I am in hospital because of an injury that could've been pretty severe as I wasn't paying attention and they couldn't give any less of a shit.
She leaves the room, seeming satisfied that she has managed to shut me up and I stare at the clock, waiting for visiting hours to be here.
I managed to fall back asleep and I woke up to Nadia asleep on the chair next to me. I assume that she came in as soon as she was able but I do wish that she woke me up when she came in so I could spend some more time with her.
I want to wake her up so that I can speak to her as I've been dying to see her but I decide against it as I know how much she will need her sleep right now after the night I assume she had last night.
The pale blue curtains that block out all the other people on the ward out is suddenly pulled back, revealing two worried siblings of mine.
"Hey." Lily greets me with a smile, blushing when she notices Nadia sleeping peacefully next to me.
"Aren't you supposed to be at school?" I ask my younger sister as her exams are coming up, she needs to be in to revise more.
"Yes but they obviously have to come and let me visit my brother in the hospital." She responds, stating the obvious, I just wanted to start a conversation up so it wouldn't feel awkward with my parents when they get here but now I'm lost on what to say.
"Mum and Dad are speaking to a doctor." Ed informs me and I breathe out a sigh of relief as I wasn't so sure that they would turn up, considering only Ed and Lily were here.
As if on cue, my parents walk into the room and both of them are wearing a frown on their faces and they only deepen when they spot Nadia at my bedside. I don't understand why it would be a bad thing if she's here with me. I personally think it's better than her not being here at all as she is proving to me that she cares about me and showing me how she feels about me without saying anything at all. Anyone can wish you to get better but it's if you actually show up for that person that will prove to them that you really do mean it.
"Am I going to die?" I ask them when they close the curtain behind them.
"What?" My Dad scoffs, shaking his head. "No, you're not going to die. Stop being dramatic."
"Then why do you have a face like a smacked arse?" I question him, causing his eyes to widen at my foul mouth.
"First of all, watch your language," He scolds me, giving me a warning look, as if not to argue with him. "And secondly, Ed and Lily, can you leave the room whilst we talk to your brother please?"
"Why?" Lily asks them, now looking worried herself and I can't lie, I am starting to think something is seriously wrong with me now.
"Because we need to talk to him, honey." My mum hardly explains anything at all but she says it so softly that Lily just nods, backing out behind the curtain and out of the room.
"Before I go, can you just tell me if it's to do with his health so that I can tell Lily, she's going to be worried sick now." Ed asks my parents and I'm glad of the question because my heart is doing somersaults inside of my chest currently.
"It's not about his health, no," My dad confirms and Ed and I exhale a joint sigh of relief. "Take this and get Lily a taxi to school and get yourself home or to Will's."
My dad takes out his wallet and gives my brother a lump of money and Ed looks stunned at what to do as our dad has never willingly handed us money like this before, not really. What is also shocking is that dad mentioned Will, Ed's boyfriend, and he has never really been the one to be open about the fact Ed is gay, so it's weird.
As Ed says goodbye and leaves the room, my mind starts to get fuzzy again as I feel like I'm dreaming. None of this feels real as my Dad isn't being his usual self and my mum is being awfully quiet too.
"How is she?" My mum asks me, looking towards Nadia as she takes the chair next to her so she can rest her own legs too and shock fills me at the question. The last time my parents and I discussed anything to do with Nadia was when they were telling me that the distraction of her is no good for me but now here they are, asking me how she is doing.
Something seems fishy to me.
She's been better," I respond, not wanting to give too much detail as I don't want it to be thrown in my face. "She stayed here all night with me."
"That's really thoughtful of her." My dad comments, sounding very monotone as he doesn't understand how to be a loving father.
"Why didn't you come here yesterday?" I ask them, not wanting to rile them up but wanting answers as to why my friends were the first to visit me instead of my family.
That's my fault, love," My mum speaks up, holding her hand up in honesty. "I needed your dad to take me home and look after me last night. I'm sure you understand?"
"I understand." I nod in agreement. I know my mum needs to put herself first when she is having a flare up so she can get back to her usual self to be able to fend for herself but it doesn't stop me feeling sad that none of my family could come and see me last night. Yes, I enjoyed seeing my friends and Nadia but it would've meant so much more for my family to show up for me last night.
I stop my thoughts from flowing any further as I sound extremely selfish and I take a sip of my water, being careful not to move too much so that it will disturb Nadia in her sleep. I don't want her to have the massive shock of my parents being in here when she wakes up as that will be awkward since she hasn't met them whilst we have been seeing each other. She has always been seen as Willem's sister in their eyes.
"Are we in debt?" I ask, the only thing that pops into my head.
"No? Why would you ask such a thing?" My dad asks me, sounding completely offended at my question.
"It's my only explanation as to why you're acting so weird." I tell him.
"And how am I acting weird?"
"You're being nice." I say in response, causing him to flinch back slightly and I grow even more confused as my dad has never done this to anything I've said to him ever and that's even with all the names I've called him over the years.
"I'm being nice because my son is lying in a hospital bed." My Dad tells me, as if it's the most obvious thing, which it isn't as he has never been overly loving with any of us at all in the past.
"It's just a concussion, Dad," I inform him, although he would already know that as he's been speaking to my doctors. "I'm sure I'll survive."
"It's a concussion now," My mum corrects me and my dad tightens his lips, showing the only form of emotion I've seen in him in about a decade. "It could've been so much worse, just look at your father for example."
I do just that and look at my father, whose eyes are bloodshot red and the sight of him is one I want to take a photo of just so I can show Ed and Lily his face. I stare at him, not wanting to make him angry by asking if he's okay. I look towards my mum, whose expression is similar to my Dad's and I just feel awkward.
My family have never been the most affectionate so to have them in font of me borderline tears makes me feel almost awkward. Even though she;'s asleep, I am glad that Nadia is here with me as she helps keep me tame and grounded. The last thing I need to do right now is lash out on my parents when they are clearly making an effort for once.
I must say though, I am slightly sceptical about this new dad act as I don't want to trust it too much just to end up getting hurt again. If someone really can change then it takes years but I don't believe people can change who they truly are. My dad can talk my ears off about how he's a changed man and wants to be a better father but that would mean nothing, especially not after how long it has been since he has been either of those things. Words don't mean anything to me in my situation, if your actions prove it then that's all that counts. Nadia could tell me she loves me everyday but it wouldn't mean shit to me if she wasn't visiting me in hospital right now, or not wanting to spend all of her free time with me.
"Well, be glad it wasn't anything worse then." I speak up after a long bout of silence.
"I'm just so fucking sorry." My dad cries and then the walls inside of me start to crack open, revealing the little boy I used to be who was silently begging for his parents to just love him unconditionally.
"What for?" I ask, wanting to hear it in his words because it could mean anything. He could be sorry that I ended up missing the last of the game because I found myself spending my night in a hospital bed.
"For everything." He states, keeping his voice low as he doesn't want to wake Nadia up and is also scared of the prying ears from the other people occupying this ward.
"I'm going to need you to be a bit more specific than that." I respond as hearing this doesn't define what he is really sorry for. To me, an apology means nothing without substance to it and there is none when it's a generic one like this. I need to know why he is apologising to be able to decide if I am willing to forgive him or not as it could be for something small like them not coming to visit me yesterday.
"For being a terrible father to you all," My father states and then looks towards my mum. "And a God awful husband."
I am truly stunned as not once throughout my life did I think that my dad would be here apologising to me and my mum over how he has treated us and even my mum seems a little stunned at the admission.
I don't know whether to believe his words as there has been no action, other than him turning up to visit me, to show me that he really is going to change. I will like to see him try and become a better father to us and a better husband to my mum so I will sit back and wait for the change to happen.
"If I didn't put so much pressure onto you about hockey then you wouldn't be in this hospital bed." He admits, pulling his handkerchief out of his suit pocket and wiping his eyes with it and I could almost laugh at the sight of it as it's just so unexpected.
If I knew getting a concussion at one of my games was the way for my parents to truly show me that they care then I would've hit myself in the head a long time ago.
"It wasn't pressure that got in my head, Da." I inform him, trying to add a bridge between myself and my emotions so he doesn't know how much his words are affecting me right now.
I'm glad Nadia is here to keep me grounded.
"Then what was it? You can talk to us." My mum inputs, rubbing my hand that rests on top of Nadia's resting legs.
"I'm just really worried about Nadia." I admit to them for the first time. Their faces prove to me that they are disappointed by the statement but I feel good in myself that I'm finally able to talk to someone who isn't related to Nadia about how I feel. I love her but it is hard carrying her burdens all alone but no matter how hard it gets, I will never give up with that girl, she is my lifeline.
"I told you she would be a distraction, son," My dad comments, his tone hostile again but the look I give him makes him cough as he soon realises his mistake. "But it happens to the best of us."
There is an awkward silence now, with none of us really knowing what to say and we don't want to talk about too much in such an open space. Nadia grunts next to me and I flinch, not wanting her to wake up to my parents here as she will run for the hills. My dad waits for her to stop moving before he speaks up again, "I will get help."
"Help with what?" My mum is the one to ask her husband, as confused as I am.
"My pain medication and my drinking," He confirms, hands shaking at the admission as it must be taking everything in him to be able to admit this to himself, let alone out loud to his son and wife. "I know I need help. I've known for a while, I've just been too scared to say it out loud because then it makes it real how badly I've treated you all. I just didn't realise until it was too late that I was bringing everyone else down with me. I will be a better father and husband and a better person all round, I promise."
I am at a loss for words and the tears just spill out of me and my mum seems to be in the same boat as she wipes her eyes with my dad's tissue. My dad must be pretty serious about this as he hasn't even discussed this with his wife. If he was doing it just to please us then he would've spoken up about this much sooner but instead he has been thinking about it on his own for a while, knowing that he needs to do it for himself more than for us.
We have all been sitting with my dads demons for a while but none of what we go through with him will be as awful as what must go on in his head, or with his body when he takes a step back off the bottle for a day.
"Why now?" I cry, my voice strained from trying to hold back emotions that have been building for the past decade.
"Like I said, it's been in my head a while but you getting injured has really put it into perspective for me and that I need to knuckle down and be there for you all. I can't imagine how you must've felt last night when we didn't show up so that's what I want to do, be able to show up for you all when you need me." He rambles on and I hate that I believe him but I can't not believe him.
My dad isn't the type of person to lie about something like this, there has never been a time in my childhood where he said he would get help but didn't as he never even realised he had an issue with it until now.
I hate to say that I'm proud of him for finally coming to the realisation, but I am. It may have taken him a while and he may have put us all through hell to get to this stage in his life but it's happened and he is wanting to now make a change. I will never forgive him if he goes back on his word though as I don't want to have to live a life where my father doesn't show me that he loves me again.