Shattered Dreams [EDITING] - Chapter 84: Chapter 84

NADIA'S POV:
2 years later:
"Are you ready to go?" Corey calls down the corridor to me and I groan at him for rushing me.
He has come home for the week as he has a week off his schedule in the EIHL and I'm glad for it because I've been missing him. Ir's been hard adjusting to both my brother and boyfriend being gone for so often, as they used to be around me constantly.
They are both doing good though and they are smashing their life out in the big league, it is difficult to know what team to root for in the table though, but I'll always root for Corey. I'm proud of Willem and I love him, but he has his own girlfriend to root for him, and our patents, who are happier than ever now that both of their kids have finally moved out.
Corey and I have our own place now, which we both contribute to paying for, him more than me though. Corey earns tens of thousands a year, so he has a good salary to put behind us and keep a roof over our heads. I would feel terrible if it was just him paying for everything so I help out as much as my body lets me.
Two days a week I go into my local rink and offer coaching to younger skaters, who want to head to where I was going one day. It pays me well as coaching isn't cheap, and although it's not as much as Corey puts into our bills, it's better than nothing.
If I can never skate in the Olympics, then training skaters to get to that point is the next biggest thing. I would be proud if one of my skaters made it. I think Corey's sister, Lily will be able to make it and that's not just me being biased because she's one of my skaters and my boyfriend's younger sister.
"I won't be going at all if you keep rushing me." I complain, putting my figure skates in my bag. "Do I need to bring anything else?"
"No, that should do it. Now, can we please go already? We are going to be late." He begs and I nod, following him to the car and close my eyes so that I can rest up for whatever it is he has planned.
I wake up and we are there, thankful that I slept the whole journey because I can't be dealing with Corey as he has been a nervous wreck all day. I'm half convinced he's about to propose to me because he has been so secretive as to where he's taking me.
"This isn't the rink," I observe as he parks outside a garden area, where there seems to be some sort of protest going on. "We can't stay here, look, something it going on."
I point towards where there are hundreds of people gathered and Corey doesn't even look up from taking our stuff out of the boot, causing me to grow frustrated.
"Fine." I sit on the floor in a huff, not wanting to go with him if he's giving me the silent treatment. Over the years we have been together I have leant the trick for getting my own way, and that is annoying Corey so much to the point where he has to give in to me.
"What are you doing?" He asks, looking at me as if I'm a freak.
"I'll move when you tell me what we are doing," I cross my arms over my body, signally my need for authority in this situation. "You know I don't like surprises."
"Okay, I'm proposing." He shrugs and my eyes bulge out of my head, but my heart fills with hope,
"W-what?" I stutter, clearly dumfounded and a smirk flashes on Corey's face and I wish to stand, trying to open the car door that is now locked. "Fuck you, that wasn't fair. I'm not going at all now, take me home."
"Stop being such a freak, baby," He pulls me closer to him, giving me a kiss on the side of my head before whispering in my ear. "You'll love it, I promise."
I don't know whether it was the certainty in his voice, or the way he called me baby but it has me nodding and sitting in my wheelchair, ready for him to push me to wherever it is we need to go.
I am still really ill, but I am a lot better than I was and that is because I have understood what this illness means to me and not going by the books. I still have bad days, like everyone but I push through as people like me have to learn to live with chronic illnesses as we can't scream and roll around the floor in agony all day everyday.
I have made some progress in my mentality with this illness, it still crushes me that I have to live everyday like this, but I have realised that there is no shame in needing to use a wheelchair and now I use it whenever I leave the house.
Using a wheelchair is not me being weak, it's not me giving up and it most certainly isn't me looking for attention, it is simply just me, trying to live my life in the most pain free way I can.
"Are we doing some protesting?" I ask him as we edge closer to the group.
"That's exactly what we are doing, my love." He confirms, stopping just behind the crowd so we can see what is happening close up.
He places our bags on the floor and I move to drop my figure skates down, utterly confused as to why I need them here, but he stops me from putting them done. Instead, he takes the bag from me and pushes me more towards the inside of the crowd. Hundreds of shoes are lined up in a group, all different kinds. There are some trainers, some boots, some sports shoes such as ballet shoes and I suddenly link this sight to my own ice skates.
I look around at the signs, one of which reads 'Dear NHS, Can you see me now?'
"What is this?" I turn to look at Corey, still feeling confused.
Corey doesn't respond, he just pushes me closer to the shoes and I look at a pair of black polka dot shoes.
'I'm missing my unborn children, my career, a relationship and my freedom.'
Goosebumps evolve on my skin at the impact of these words.
I look at all the other shoes and without reading them I can tell that there are hundreds of different stories but they all have the same outcome. This is a march for sufferers of ME to try and get funding, or at least understanding of the illness.
There are women's shoes, mens, and even kids, which shows that anyone can be affected. All these shoes makes me feel less alone as it is proof that I'm not the only one suffering. The shoes signify the people we all used to be, but now they are left empty, as the old us are unable to fit them anymore.
"I thought that you could put your own down, be a part of history and help make that change." Corey suggests, handing me my bag.
"How could I part with them?" I ask, opening the bag to see my skates, which I haven't used in a few years.
"All the memories you made in them, won't be forgotten, your skates tell your story and it deserves to be heard." He tells me, taking them out the bag for me and also handing me a pen and card.
"I don't even know what I would write." I mention, feeling insecure as I don't want to make a fool of myself.
"Just write what you feel," Corey bends down so he is at my level, pushing the pen into my hands.
I think over all the emotions I've felt over the years since first getting sick. I think I've felt a little bit of everything, especially anger. I put pen to paper, writing down the things I feel as though
'I'm Nadia, I'm twenty-one and I've been missing for three years. I'm missing my olympic dreams, my friends, my future and most of all, my body.'
I pass the note to Corey, silently asking him if it's okay and he nods, attaching it to my skates. He passes them back to me so I can place them on the ground and I do so, saying goodbye to my skates one last time.
I sit back, staring down at them as Corey puts his arm around me. These skates have been through everything with me, all my ups and downs and achievements. It was hard to get rid of my dream of skating, but to let go of my skates now is like I'm letting go of all the memories that came along with it.
3 years later...
"Why are you so cute?" I ask the little boy who's green eyes mirror my own.
"Because he is related to me." Willem grins as he enters the room, picking up his son as he tickles him, causing him to burst out laughing. My own stomach turn into butterflies now as my own baby kicks inside of me.
After a surprising positive pregnancy test Corey and I were both stunned on what to do because I wouldn't be able to cope with being a mother on my own whilst Corey is away for such long periods of time. I know my family would help but I can't give them that responsibility, especially when Willem has his own family and my parents have had to spend many years looking after me when I was first becoming sick.
Corey and I had to make a really big decision together and that was either me getting an abortion, which I personally would not be able to live with doing to myself as I couldn't let my body go through something as big as that when it has already been through so much, or if he was going to have to come back home.
He wanted this baby from the first moment he heard the news I was pregnant, and so he gave his team until the end of the season and then he was done.
He's been home for two months and we have been so happy in our own little bubble. I truly feel on top of the world and even though I feel pain all the time, it's only on really bad days where I let it affect me.
"When is coach back?" Willem asks me, his eyes full of mischief as his son clings onto him like a monkey. Although Willem's son, Jude is almost two it is still weird to see my brother as a dad. In my mind we would stay kids forever and we would only have each other, but now we are considered distant family to eachother because we have our own family apart from each other now.
The thought of us growing further apart makes me sick and I pray that we can stay this tight knit until we die.
"Coach is on his way," I reply snakily at his use of 'coach.' "He's just getting me some roast potatoes."
Corey has taken over as coach for the Puck Flyers and he is loving every minute of it. He isn't getting paid as much as he would be if he was still playing professionally, but he gets to boss people about and make them better players, which he absolutely adores.
I enjoy going to the rink and seeing him in his element, just like he enjoys when he sees me.
I haven't been on the ice since last time I went on it and honestly I don't want to anymore as I don't want to tarnish any memories of me being able to skate with ones of me struggling because of pain.
It's been five years since I was first diagnosed and so this day is usually tricky for me, as it was the day where I was prisoned for the rest of my life. But now I don't see it like that as you have to be able to hold two things in your head; this illness destroyed my life, but what it showed me I could never give that back. I want to be well don't get me wrong, but I am grateful for every inch of my life.
I am still here, I am still here.
"I don't miss the pregnancy cravings," He laughs, as he thinks back to all the times where he had to rush out to get random food items for his girlfriend to inhale in one sitting. "I bet he's glad to be closer to you again."
"I should hope so, considering we have decided to dedicate the rest of our lives to each other." I deadpan, siting down on the sofa as pregnancy on top of chronic illness makes me feel one hundred times worse than usual.
I feel like a superstar.
"Did you get Jasper's invite?" Willem asks me warily, unsure as to how I'll react.
"Yeah, I confirmed our RSVP. Are you going to go?" I question him and he nods. "It's so weird that he's the first to be getting married."
"I know, I always thought it would be you and him who would be the ones getting married for the longest time."
"It's funny how much things can change just like that, isn't it?" I comment, growing sentimental at what my life could've been if I never got sick.
When I think about it, it somewhat makes me glad I got chronically ill as I would be living a lie right now if I didn't. My best friend would be secretly plotting against me and I would be married to a man, who I have no real connection with.
Speaking of Maddy, I have not seen or heard from her since our last conversation at the final, all I hear is that she has still not settled down and is still working as a waitress.
I hope she is doing okay though, there is no bad blood on my end anymore.
"Jasper's getting married?" Corey asks as he peers round the corner of the door, with a bunch of flowers for me. "To who?"
"Some girl he met whilst traveling in America." Willem tells him.
"Do we really have to go to that?" He sighs when I nod.
"I really have to get Jude down for bedtime so would you mind?" Willem remarks, telling us that we have overstayed our welcome. I am still ever so close to my brother but it will always hurt when I go back to my own home as I'm so used to being in the same house as him.
"Goodnight," I kiss Willem on the cheek. "I'll see you next week, can you say bye to Katie for me?"
He nods and I step out the front door, waiting for Corey as he says goodbye. "Bye mate, good luck."
"Why is he saying good luck?" I question my boyfriend as we walk to his car..
"The match next week probably," He lies terribly and excitement gnaws in my stomach. "These are for you, my lady."
He hands me my roast potatoes and my stomach growls in delight.
I managed to eat the whole box in the time it took to get home and I didn't even register the fact he took a different, more shorter route.
I look around at where we are, it feeling familiar but it also not being our flat. "Where are we?" I ask him and he simply gets out a blindfold, silently putting it on me without a word.
"You are lucky I trust you, or was this your plan all along? Build up my trust so you can lure me out to kill me in a forest?" I ask him and he puts a finger on my lip, telling me to shut up.
He then plants a quick kiss on lips before starting the car up again. After about a minute the engine cuts out and his door slams shut, followed by the sound of mine opening. He helps me out and helps me sit down in my chair, which I didn't realise he even got out of the car.
"Can I take this off yet? It's getting really fucking itchy." I beg and his answer is to take the blindfold off.
It takes me a few moments for my eyes to adjust to the light and once they do, I am in awe at the sight.
I turn to look at Corey with tears in my eyes and all he can do it grin at me in return. "No fucking way." I gasp, completely in shock over what to say.
"Welcome to our new home." He hands me a key, with a keyring of our baby scan on it and I look up again at the building in front of me.
It's the house Archie and I always planned of having together and it is done up the exact way I told Corey about all those years ago. Sunflowers cover the front garden, the door is a sage green and there is a wrap around porch, perfect for when we have a crawling baby on our hands.
"How did you even remember?" I query, completely forgetting myself what I had dreamt up in my ind about this place, but this reality is somehow better than my imagination.
"I told you, I always remember the littlest things about you."
He leads me inside and I notice it is dimly lit, with candles leading the way to the living room, which is fully furnished, with just what I had in mind for this room.
The living room is full of candles and if I was stupid I would think it's because there is no electric in this place yet, but I think I know what's about to happen. It doesn't stop the shock appearing on my face when he gets down on one knee though.
"Yes." I immediately say, crying into my hands as he pulls out a beautiful, oval ring with the biggest diamond I have ever seen.
"You didn't even let me ask you." He laughs, as tears spill out of his own eyes.
"Okay, go on." I laugh back, trying to compose myself so he can actually ask me.
"Will you m-"
"Yes!" I interrupt him again, getting on my own knees now so I'm level with him.
"Nadia!" He says firmly, and I shut my mouth closed, trying my hardest to let him ask me the full question. "Will you marry me?"
"Yes!" I squeak, letting him put the ring on and admiring it for a second before wrapping my arms around him in a grip that could defenitly kill him if I stay here for long enough.
"I can't believe this, all this excitement in one day can't be good for the baby," I breathe in and out deeply, calming myself down. "This is the most perfect day ever."
"I know," He grins, smiling when he looks at the ring on my finger. "I saved up money I earned from when I played professionally and bought it. Willem, Nathan, Liam, Cole and Logan helped me renovate the place in their spare time." He explains and my heart swells over them all doing this for me.
For our family.
"This is why you've been coming home so late?" I laugh, leaning into his side as we both sit in the middle of the candlelit floor.
"I always knew you were going to be the rest of my tomorrows." He whispers to the side of my head and I feel his tears wetting my own cheek.
"And I would go through all this pain and suffering all over again as long as I get to have you in the end," I admit, feeling Corey place his free hand on my forever growing baby bump. "I love you in every dimension; all the space and time included."
I smile down at his had on my bump and my whole body warms up, thinking about the fact there hasn't been been a moment in my life where I have been this happy.
I am so proud of how far we have come Corey and I are like the stars, we are powerful and we are endless.
The baby kicks and me and Corey both gasp at how hard the kick was. A smile overtakes my face as this baby is feeling the sheer happiness I'm in and is feeling it too. I will do everything I can to be the best mother ever so this baby can feel like this all the time.
"I love you, today, tomorrow and forever," He places another gentle kiss to the side of my head. "You, and our Archie."