Shattered - Chapter 16: Chapter 16
You are reading Shattered, Chapter 16: Chapter 16. Read more chapters of Shattered.
The familiar scent of him filled my nostrils as his warm comforting arms were wrapped around me, grabbing my phone, it was only eight in the morning. My usual morning time, where it was just peace and quiet before Mr. energetic awakens. I was only wearing my panties and one of Nathan's t-shirt's, were up pretty late enjoying each other's companies and talking how about we were going to move forward.
My law firm had gave me the go sign that I was able to relocate and still be the head of the department except in the other town. It was just a matter of when, because I thought about it, Leo is only in kindergarten and I've been teaching him at home to keep his knowledge up to date. It's ridiculous how schools nowadays are teaching them very slowly, so every night I try to manage at least an hour of work. So far, Leo's has been grasping everything really easily that his teacher even notified me saying that he is excelling within his classmates.
Although he is doing well with his classmates, sometimes his mood swings get the better of him, he got so angry once that he took scissors to a kids hair. I've never taught my son anything near to cutting kids hairs off, he even said to me "at least I didn't hit him mommy," what was I even supposed to say to that? It was good he didn't touch him physically with his hands but cutting hair?
My son was the definition of erratic, you could not foresee anything, he was spontaneous like his father. Well at the beginning Nathan was spontaneous, out of nowhere he asked for my number when I thought he would be angry that I spilt my drink on him that first time. Nathan was the one who initiated talking to me, I was nice and polite to him but during that time I was so stressed for anyone to come into my life.
He helped me cope with my stress even if I didn't want his help, the way Nathan had spoke to me about it and helped in more ways then I can explain made me feel needed. Before everything, it's still hard to admit that I was so lost and that I didn't think I could've hold on any longer. My end of the tunnel was slowly crumpling, but he was the real highlight of my life. Elevating me and encouraging every step of the way, showed me a different perspective to perceive life. The one person that was adamant on learning stuff about me, for me to open up to him and reassure me that it was normal to seek help.
His hand started playing with my hair calmly as I was in deep thoughts of my life before, that seems to be happening a lot more often then I'd like. It's difficult, these scars tell my story and all Nathan ever did was love them and me the way I am. He rest his face in the crook of my neck breathing softly, the warm breeze send goosebumps all over my body. "What are you thinking about beautiful?"
"Just about the past, how I got to where I am today... Also you keep calling me your wife, we aren't legally together again, yet." I tell him that during our time back together he's been referring me as his wife.
"Haven't you been referring me as your husband?"
"Well what else am I supposed to say? My husband, well ex-husband oh wait let me add, my boyfriend now?" I ask exasperatedly.
"Haha," he laughs sheepishly, "about that... what if I told you we aren't exactly divorced..?"
"What do you mean?" I ask turning to face him.
"Well... when you signed the divorce papers. I never send them in because I couldn't get you out of my head and it was too painful. I was insane, that the divorce papers are still in this room actually, if you wanted to get married, then you would have to notify me to file it again. It was something that I kept to keep tabs on your relationship life..." he tells me feeling kind of embarrassed.
"What the hell? What if I wanted to get married again Nathan? Why would you do that?" I say in shocked.
"Well you didn't, and I am glad. If you did then we would of met again, it would be a chance for me to show you why we should be together again. It would be my last goodbye to you." He informs me.
"Are you serious? It sounds like I would of needed your blessing to marry someone else, you don't get to do that as you please. I can make my own decisions."
"Relax, at least it never came to that and look, we are basically back together, where is the problem in that?"
"You are unbelievable," I roll my eyes.
"I would of just made sure you were certain you didn't live me anymore or check the guy out. To see if he was suitable."
"Suitable? You don't have the right to decide that though."
"Okay, okay, I'm sorry. Can't we just move on baby?"
I huff, "you're so fucking lucky I wasn't planning on marrying anyone again."
He chuckles kissing the top of my forehead, since he dropped that big bomb on me, well not really... I got out of his grasp to get ready for the day today, as usual I freshened up in the bathroom. When I got out, the bed was made perfectly with no wrinkles in the grey sheets, going to my old closet filled with clothes, Nathan was there standing in dark blue trousers and a plain white button up shirt. He was looking as good as ever, I went to my side just staring at the clothes that were worn by me five years ago, "what are you thinking of?"
I sigh, "it's nothing, just thinking about all these clothes that I've worn."
"I've always liked your clothes Alina, they made you look amazing, there is nothing wrong with them. Who cares about what other people think, you look good wearing any clothes." Nathan tries to reassure me, before the whole world and other women used to judge me on what I wear. What's so bad about what I wear?
I just took an off the shoulder sundress that was long with a slight slit in the front of it, pairing it with cute grey sandals.
"See babe, you look fine. Stick with your style." He says wrapping his arm around my waist and peppering kisses along my neck as I stare into the mirror. "Let's go downstairs before Leo wakes up."
"You should see that little guy when he wakes up, he has a fully filled tank of energy. By the way, I got the clear to change law firms."
"Does that mean we can switch Leo over here now?"
"Nathan... I don't know, look at him, he's young. You might want to ease him into these things. He has friends back home—"
"You mean your old home," he cuts in commenting.
"Well, the place he grew up in, it might be difficult for him to adjust. It has only been one week since our son found out that you are even his dad."
"What if we just ask him and talk to him about this? See if he's okay with it or wants to wait, I'd like to have you guys here."
"Yes, I know that Nathan, I want that too but what is going to when we appear on every part of each article. When I arrived there was a picture just of me walking down these streets, now the whole world is speculating over the past."
"I'll make a statement, I can work these things out, this time we'll be different."
"I want Leo's input on this first and then we can figure out how we'll continue with this."
He nods and we both make our wake downstairs to the kitchen, Nathan starts to make coffee for himself, he grabs another clear glass and pours me some water. I've never been one to enjoy the taste of coffee, water was the way to go for me, "I remember you never drank coffee, so here is some water."
I take a seat at the dining room table with Nathan, "We'll await till he wakes up and comes down. So what do you want to do today?" I ask smiling.
"I was wondering if you're up to go visit my parents with Leo today. I told my mom and dad about him and they are ecstatic about their first grandson. They really want to meet him."
"Oh," I said with my smile dying down, "they know about what happened right? Well I mean everyone does..."
"If you're referring to the big scandal, yes they know that but they also no that I was the biggest asshole to you and they missed out on your pregnancy and their grandson for five years." He chuckles, "don't worry, I've been getting shit from them since Monday when I told them."
"I just don't know how to adjust, people will see me the same way as before... a slut."
"You see, that's where I went wrong baby," he takes ahold of my hand running circular motions on the back of my hand. "You were never a slut and you still aren't, I was the major dick who didn't see that you were so damn loyal to me and you raised my beautiful son which I'm thankful for. I took you for granted, so who cares about their opinions.
"I care." I look away.
"Look at me," he tells me and I oblige, "you are way to good to be thinking about what other people think of you. Don't put yourself down because I accidentally made a mistake." What Nathan was saying was the truth, why should I feel upset? He loves me and knows the truth.
"As long as me and Leo can try to stay out of the pictures, I don't want anything to hurt him the way it pained me."
"I agree."
My law firm had gave me the go sign that I was able to relocate and still be the head of the department except in the other town. It was just a matter of when, because I thought about it, Leo is only in kindergarten and I've been teaching him at home to keep his knowledge up to date. It's ridiculous how schools nowadays are teaching them very slowly, so every night I try to manage at least an hour of work. So far, Leo's has been grasping everything really easily that his teacher even notified me saying that he is excelling within his classmates.
Although he is doing well with his classmates, sometimes his mood swings get the better of him, he got so angry once that he took scissors to a kids hair. I've never taught my son anything near to cutting kids hairs off, he even said to me "at least I didn't hit him mommy," what was I even supposed to say to that? It was good he didn't touch him physically with his hands but cutting hair?
My son was the definition of erratic, you could not foresee anything, he was spontaneous like his father. Well at the beginning Nathan was spontaneous, out of nowhere he asked for my number when I thought he would be angry that I spilt my drink on him that first time. Nathan was the one who initiated talking to me, I was nice and polite to him but during that time I was so stressed for anyone to come into my life.
He helped me cope with my stress even if I didn't want his help, the way Nathan had spoke to me about it and helped in more ways then I can explain made me feel needed. Before everything, it's still hard to admit that I was so lost and that I didn't think I could've hold on any longer. My end of the tunnel was slowly crumpling, but he was the real highlight of my life. Elevating me and encouraging every step of the way, showed me a different perspective to perceive life. The one person that was adamant on learning stuff about me, for me to open up to him and reassure me that it was normal to seek help.
His hand started playing with my hair calmly as I was in deep thoughts of my life before, that seems to be happening a lot more often then I'd like. It's difficult, these scars tell my story and all Nathan ever did was love them and me the way I am. He rest his face in the crook of my neck breathing softly, the warm breeze send goosebumps all over my body. "What are you thinking about beautiful?"
"Just about the past, how I got to where I am today... Also you keep calling me your wife, we aren't legally together again, yet." I tell him that during our time back together he's been referring me as his wife.
"Haven't you been referring me as your husband?"
"Well what else am I supposed to say? My husband, well ex-husband oh wait let me add, my boyfriend now?" I ask exasperatedly.
"Haha," he laughs sheepishly, "about that... what if I told you we aren't exactly divorced..?"
"What do you mean?" I ask turning to face him.
"Well... when you signed the divorce papers. I never send them in because I couldn't get you out of my head and it was too painful. I was insane, that the divorce papers are still in this room actually, if you wanted to get married, then you would have to notify me to file it again. It was something that I kept to keep tabs on your relationship life..." he tells me feeling kind of embarrassed.
"What the hell? What if I wanted to get married again Nathan? Why would you do that?" I say in shocked.
"Well you didn't, and I am glad. If you did then we would of met again, it would be a chance for me to show you why we should be together again. It would be my last goodbye to you." He informs me.
"Are you serious? It sounds like I would of needed your blessing to marry someone else, you don't get to do that as you please. I can make my own decisions."
"Relax, at least it never came to that and look, we are basically back together, where is the problem in that?"
"You are unbelievable," I roll my eyes.
"I would of just made sure you were certain you didn't live me anymore or check the guy out. To see if he was suitable."
"Suitable? You don't have the right to decide that though."
"Okay, okay, I'm sorry. Can't we just move on baby?"
I huff, "you're so fucking lucky I wasn't planning on marrying anyone again."
He chuckles kissing the top of my forehead, since he dropped that big bomb on me, well not really... I got out of his grasp to get ready for the day today, as usual I freshened up in the bathroom. When I got out, the bed was made perfectly with no wrinkles in the grey sheets, going to my old closet filled with clothes, Nathan was there standing in dark blue trousers and a plain white button up shirt. He was looking as good as ever, I went to my side just staring at the clothes that were worn by me five years ago, "what are you thinking of?"
I sigh, "it's nothing, just thinking about all these clothes that I've worn."
"I've always liked your clothes Alina, they made you look amazing, there is nothing wrong with them. Who cares about what other people think, you look good wearing any clothes." Nathan tries to reassure me, before the whole world and other women used to judge me on what I wear. What's so bad about what I wear?
I just took an off the shoulder sundress that was long with a slight slit in the front of it, pairing it with cute grey sandals.
"See babe, you look fine. Stick with your style." He says wrapping his arm around my waist and peppering kisses along my neck as I stare into the mirror. "Let's go downstairs before Leo wakes up."
"You should see that little guy when he wakes up, he has a fully filled tank of energy. By the way, I got the clear to change law firms."
"Does that mean we can switch Leo over here now?"
"Nathan... I don't know, look at him, he's young. You might want to ease him into these things. He has friends back home—"
"You mean your old home," he cuts in commenting.
"Well, the place he grew up in, it might be difficult for him to adjust. It has only been one week since our son found out that you are even his dad."
"What if we just ask him and talk to him about this? See if he's okay with it or wants to wait, I'd like to have you guys here."
"Yes, I know that Nathan, I want that too but what is going to when we appear on every part of each article. When I arrived there was a picture just of me walking down these streets, now the whole world is speculating over the past."
"I'll make a statement, I can work these things out, this time we'll be different."
"I want Leo's input on this first and then we can figure out how we'll continue with this."
He nods and we both make our wake downstairs to the kitchen, Nathan starts to make coffee for himself, he grabs another clear glass and pours me some water. I've never been one to enjoy the taste of coffee, water was the way to go for me, "I remember you never drank coffee, so here is some water."
I take a seat at the dining room table with Nathan, "We'll await till he wakes up and comes down. So what do you want to do today?" I ask smiling.
"I was wondering if you're up to go visit my parents with Leo today. I told my mom and dad about him and they are ecstatic about their first grandson. They really want to meet him."
"Oh," I said with my smile dying down, "they know about what happened right? Well I mean everyone does..."
"If you're referring to the big scandal, yes they know that but they also no that I was the biggest asshole to you and they missed out on your pregnancy and their grandson for five years." He chuckles, "don't worry, I've been getting shit from them since Monday when I told them."
"I just don't know how to adjust, people will see me the same way as before... a slut."
"You see, that's where I went wrong baby," he takes ahold of my hand running circular motions on the back of my hand. "You were never a slut and you still aren't, I was the major dick who didn't see that you were so damn loyal to me and you raised my beautiful son which I'm thankful for. I took you for granted, so who cares about their opinions.
"I care." I look away.
"Look at me," he tells me and I oblige, "you are way to good to be thinking about what other people think of you. Don't put yourself down because I accidentally made a mistake." What Nathan was saying was the truth, why should I feel upset? He loves me and knows the truth.
"As long as me and Leo can try to stay out of the pictures, I don't want anything to hurt him the way it pained me."
"I agree."
End of Shattered Chapter 16. Continue reading Chapter 17 or return to Shattered book page.