Shattered - Chapter 24: Chapter 24

Walking out of the store he had asked me if I wanted to go shoes shopping or do something, as I was in a very shitty mood my responses were very short to him. Couldn't he take a hint that I wasn't very happy with him right now?
When making it to the car a huge feeling of awkwardness and tension filled the atmosphere, not wanting to speak to him because if I do I might lash out at him. I should've thought this more thoroughly instead of rushing into getting back together so quickly. Now I think that I'm regretting a big part of this, "I need to swing somewhere to get something," he tells me but I have nothing to say as I try to wrap everything around to process it.
Nathan pulls up to an alcohol store running into the store to buy what I'm guessing which is alcohol, he walks out with two bottles of wine in his hand and the good kind.
When he opens the car door curiosity immediately fill my head, "why do you have wine?" I ask.
"Oh now Mrs. Angry pants wants to talk?" He smirks.
"Don't call me that." I huff annoyed, "asshole," I muttered under my breath.
"It's because we are celebrating, so I got us some drinks. If you still care."
"What are we even celebrating?"
"I just opened my own hotel, it's an amazing high class place."
"Ah..." I say not enthusiastically.
When we were entering the house we had remove our shoes leaving them at the front on the shoe rack to keep the house nice and tidy. I went into our bedroom to put my new dress into the closet before starting on dinner, I decided to ask the maids if I could make dinner tonight instead of having them prep something for me.
I decided to make us a fancy dinner mainly because we were celebrating this very night for Nathan's opening of his new hotel, as I was still angry with him he decided to give me some space to let me calm down. The problem is I wasn't able to just get over this, it wasn't this usual silly thing that could be forgotten about in seconds, ever since we were together it's been occurring constantly every time we even step foot out the house and it disturbs me that he just rubs it off like nothings happening.
It makes me start to question my relationship with him, when he goes on business trips or work parties that for some of them I was unable to attend, did he react the same way? Completely oblivious to the fact that women are acting exhibitionist towards him, did he even pay attention to any of them when I was not there?
I know that this is his life and that I shouldn't overreact because of this, it just came about me that it's like he doesn't care anymore about how they act around him. It's been like this from the very start, I know I shouldn't really care because it never bothered me until we got back together after my time away from media. Everything that surrounds Nathan has to be involved with social media whether you like it or not, it comes with a big bundle of stress to be honest.
He's gotten so used to it without me that whenever somebody who wants him for money comes up and shows off, questions just fill my mind,What if one day he will get so tired and bored with me? I know he dislikes it very much when I feel insecure in my own body compared to these women, but how can I even compare myself when he is a walking god and I'm just the girl from the coffee shop. I'm pretty disappointing to other people.
So many women asked and before when I was on social media all the comments surrounded the topic of 'how did someone looking like that get together with him?' Or 'one day he'll get sick and tired of her and us ladies will have a chance.'
As I was placing do utensils on the table I didn't even realize that Nathan had walked in, he grabbed two wine glasses and started filling them. Before he entered the room he was probably doing some work to be able to have the rest of the weekend off from work, it has been pretty nice that he's been prioritizing me and Leo. Our son was sure enjoying our happy little family right now, even though we've all just reunited I'd like to think we are the perfect little family everyone sees so far, but really our family has so many imperfections that we still work on and I'm appreciative of what I have.
"Smells good babe, what did you make?" Nathan asks but my mind was still trailing off to other negative thoughts.
I reply dryly not knowing how to speak to him about this, is like to approach him to how I feel but it's pretty difficult, I thought it be so easy to bring up the subject with him but my thoughts were leaving my mouth dry. So instead my response was, "steak, roasted potatoes and some salad."
There are endless of possibilities of how this situation can end, but I am assuming that it will end pretty well and he'll be understanding and caring for me and that's what I need a right now, somebody to support me with how I feel.
We took our seats at the round table, we didn't need to eat at our big table that was meant for family gatherings because it was just us two. I placed down his plate and my plate right after and took my seat, we sat there in uncomfortable silence just eating without any conversing happening.
At approximately ten minutes through our dinner Nathan clears his throat trying to gain my attention, looking up, our eyes met and this was the first time that it was difficult for both of us to understand how the other was feeling through one look in the eyes. All of my attention was now devoted to him, he pauses for a minute trying to ruminate the words that he was going to utilize to phrase what was about to be said.
"Are you angry?" Was all he asked, if a female is clearly not talking to you and is disturbed by your presence for a little bit, do you really think she's angry? You shouldn't even asked that question.
Use your freaking brain idiot, you can answer that question on your own, it's like when a teacher hands you a question and ask you to read paragraph three from the text and write down the answer but yet, you move on to paragraph four because you know the answer but just want to see where it's going.
"No I'm not," I tell him coldly.
"If you're saying you're not but cutting it short the you are angry." He tells me blankly.
"Then why are you asking?" I snap at him.
"Why are you angry?"
"You really want to know?" I huff with annoyance.
"Yes, I want to know what's got you so worked up today." He tells me happily, now that I'm telling him the cause of what made me into this mood.
Suddenly loosing my appetite I put my utensils down taking a sip of wine to relax my tense body a little bit. "It's because of the way you walk unobservant to the people around you, do you not freaking notice the girls gawking at you? Are you really that oblivious to them that you can't even recognize the normal base of flirting and comment about it?" My voice coming out louder then I intended for it to be.
"What are you talking about Alina? What has gotten into you?" He asked completely deflecting my questions.
"Do you or do you not notice the women flirting with you?" I ask sternly wanting an answer.
He huffs our stopping to converse with me instead of eating as well, "what does this have to do with any-"
"I asked you a question Nathan. Now answer it." I tell him with the most serious tone.
"Yes I do noticed," he finally confesses. "It doesn't matter if I'm aware of it happening or not."
"Yes it does! Are you kidding me? So you just leave it at them and allow them to continue on?" I started to get even more curious.
"Why do you care about me not saying anything? It's not like a take interest in them," he shrugs it off.
"So are you saying that if I don't wear a wedding ring, go to places in public and have random guys who I don't take interest in flirt with me, you wouldn't care?" I rebuttal against his statement causing his jaw to clench.
"That is a totally different situation, in my case I don't like the girls back though."
"And yet, yours situation is different because you're jealous or something? Unbelievable." My anger has spiked up so much, I don't know what has gotten into me.
"For fucks sake Alina, just calm down and stop being insecure for once in your life and get over it!" He screams banging his fist on the table which startled me.
I didn't know how to respond to that, all I know is that his words that were spoken in this moment left me hurt.