Shattered - Chapter 31: Chapter 31

It was early in the morning, Nathan had me close to his warm muscular chest sleeping soundly, something that my body wanted to do, rest, but I couldn't sleep tonight, my headache was very mild making it bearable to deal with. Already two in the morning which is not the time I want to start my slumber at, I have to wake up early to prepare Leo for school in order for us to drop him off on time at eight.
Something kept keeping me awake these last two days, the way my body jolted back awake whenever it was on the verge of being consumed with sleep. The feeling of being suffocated made me panic a little bit, the clothes that hugged my body was feeling a little tighter then usual, I thought it was just anxiety from our new schedule but it felt like more. No description could match this type of sentiments, I needed air to breath.
Constantly my subconscious would tell me, it's okay, you're fine, this is normal and you need to push through it. I didn't feel normal in this moment, trying to endure the unknown feeling as beads of sweat formed and it felt like I was reliving the trauma I had undergo a few day ago. Water that slowly engulfed the regions of my interior to the maximum of its capacity, I started choking, my body was betraying me like it didn't no how to function normally like before.
Pulling myself out of Nathan's arm my eyes searched through the darkness of the room to the entrance of the bathroom, I felt like I was going to be sick, that my nourishments of earlier were going to come back out. Running to the bathroom as quick as I can while breathing insanely heavy, almost missing the toilet, it was by luck that I was able to lake it there in time to empty the contents of my stomach that were ingested earlier.
Something in me just couldn't keep the food down today, it was purely disgusting.
I felt disgusting.
Leaning back against the counter beside the toilet, my breathing started to become regular like before, I tried to keep it in me for so long, the minutes felt like hours instead of seconds, praying every second that it would end soon. Now the feeling was over, well for now...
What is going on with me? This feeling is eating me up, overtime if this continues... I really hope I can learn to push through it, this feels like a crime because I'm not able to deal with it. Tears start to trickle down my face as my body just relaxes for once in this weird state. I made a choice, I just want to use my voice to take away the pain but screaming isn't really good to do at two in the morning when your family is sleeping.
I'm so freaking disgusting, pulling myself up onto the counter to get a sight of myself, my face was so pale and in this moment was the most accurate ressemblance to a ghost I've ever been.
Getting up, instead of heading back to bed I just get ready for the day, I gargle water in my mouth at least five times to clear out the foul taste then brush my teeth. If I didn't feel good, maybe getting dressed nicely and everything will bring up my mood for the rest of the day.
Grabbing my white blouse and black pencil skirt from my closet, I put it on noticing that it fit a little more form fitting then before. I guess going through my pregnancy with Leo changed my body a lot, it also doesn't help that I didn't wear this specific skirt since four years ago.
I had lost it when I was moving into mine and Leo's new house, it was my favourite for some reason, now that my body underwent some changes, I had more curves which was a little nice. Obviously clothing wise, I had to get a new wardrobe.
Going downstairs I had packed Leo's lunch before making myself a mocha which was one of the forms I would drink coffee, I am not very fond of the taste, only mocha's, French vanilla lattes' or anything that wasn't just pure coffee.
After it was nice and peaceful sitting here at the counter in the morning, my body was still exhausted but it wouldn't allow me to sleep. I applied some makeup in order to cover up the dark circles from forming and my pale face, there isn't a need to worry everyone for no reason.
"Alina?" A voice brought me out of my thoughts as I stared at the counter for a few hours not even noticing that I've been sitting here for a couple of hours. I was confused for a moment... time seemed to pass by quickly.
"Hmm?" I turn to see Nathan walking in freshly dressed in a suit as he walked up wrap his arms around my waist from behind and kiss my cheek.
"What are you doing up so early?"
"Couldn't sleep..." I let out slowly.
"Why didn't you wake me up?"
"You couldn't have helped me Nathan and plus, you need your sleep to run your whole company." It wasn't necessary for both of us to be deprived from sleep, if one of us was tired then the other can help out with Leo.
"I know but you should get some sleep too, I'll come by pick you up for lunch later?" We used to eat lunch all the time together, going to restaurants and eating out together.
I nod my head turning around in my seat to pull his head gently down towards mine for a kiss, his breath was minty, probably from the toothpaste after just brushing his teeth, he leaned down allowing me to continue as he put his hands on my waist.
"Oh you've just reminded me about something," he pulls away from me still keeping a close distance as he reaches into his pocket searching for something. When he took his hand out he laid it flat open in the air with an object in the middle of his palm.
"My rings..." I had left it with him that day since he had told me to leave everything, it wasn't a huge ring that screamed money.
It was beautiful and subtle, he had allowed me to pick the type and designs of each one making sure that I would like it before purchasing it.
"I thought you would needed back since you are now officially Mrs. Peterson again."
I take them from his grasp placing it back into my ring finger, it still fits the same way it did five years ago, perfectly fitted for me personally I my finger size.
I pulled him down once again to kiss me, he had gladly cooperated, kissing me passionately igniting the fire within my core until we heard footsteps coming from the direction of where the stairs were. Leo would always walk loudly down the stairs no matter what, I guess having a kid means that there is more stomping.
My son runs up to me, saying loudly, "morning mommy!" As he expected me to pick him up like always.
Nathan had to move aside to make way for our son, "morning baby, I'll make you breakfast then we'll go to school okay?"
"Can I just have cereal today?"
"Yes you can," taking better look at him something seemed off with my baby, "did you dress yourself today?"
"Nope daddy did, how do I look?" My son slicks his hair back in a jokingly manner, where did he learn to act like this?
It made the both of us burst out into laughter, "handsome as always."
After our nice morning together as a reunited family, it was time for Leo to go to school, the car ride was nice and peaceful for me, my body didn't seem to be exhausted, yet...
Me and Nathan decide to walk Leo into the school we had visited a few or two ago, it still looked the same, a private school close to our house with kids walking into school with their friends or family members. As we approached the entrance, Leo started hiding behind my leg shy to meet the other students, we were told that the principal was going to greet him in the front of the school to ease him into his classroom.
I have met with his teacher and she seems very nice and sweet, there wasn't any bad feeling around her that indicated a good sign. To be honest I don't know who was more worried about his first day, me or Leo, I was terrified that he didn't know anyone and I just wanted everything to work out perfectly for him.
Sure he has already been to school, but this was different from the life we had before, the people around him are different, hopefully he will be able to meet some nice kids to make some friends. The only part that was exciting was that he could make his own friends then enjoy being a child with them, play dates, sleepover, playing sports with them, and just living a normal life.
When we got into the school the principal was waiting for him in front of the office, the lady was in her mid-forty's I'd say. She understood the background of where Leo was coming from, she ensured me that the school takes very well care of the students who come from families of big businessmen.
They made sure that each student was treated as an equal no matter what their background was and I felt more comfortable with that, even though Leo is going to inherit everything, he should be taught properly. It was a good thing that some of Nathan's friends have referred this specific school for Leo's education.
If I didn't know he was in good hands I would loose my sanity, my priority was to look for the perfect education for him and trying to think realistically and keeping my reality in check.
"Hello, Mrs. Peterson," the principal sticks her hand out for me to shake it and I kindly shake her hand with a smile.
"It's nice to see you again, Leo is right here," I say moving him from behind me, "he's a little shy today."
She smiles, "it's normal for him to be shy the first day, it's a change considering it's already the middle of the year, I'm sure he will enjoy it and there will be kids helping him around to get used to it." The bell rings interrupting her while the young student are already heading to their classes. They were so well behaved which amazed me, the children knew exactly what to do without even having to be reminded. "Leo, do you want to say goodbye to your mommy and daddy before they leave?"
He comes around in front of me looking up, to make it easier for him I bend down to his level so he doesn't strain his neck, "I hope you have a great day at school today buddy," I kiss his cheek as he wrap his little arms around my neck to hug me tightly, tears of joy start to well up in my eye but I push them back.
He then give Nathan a big hug, they props each other before Nathan says, "have a good day and try to have fun, you got this bud," he props his fist, he hands him the container of cookies and then Leo turns to go with the principal, waving to us before he turns the corner of the hall.
Me and Nathan head out to the car to go to work, he pulls up in front of my work building, "I'll pick you up at twelve-thirty?"
I smile nodding, "twelve-thirty," I lean over to him to give him a peck on his lips before exiting the car.
"Don't push yourself too hard," he says at the last moment.
When I get into the office, everyone was greeting me, some were staring at me for some reason but overall they were friendly employees. Being a partner in this business was pretty nice, I'd like to build relationships with the employees and my coworkers, it's nice doing things together out of work and most law firms don't take into consideration the work of everyone. I think that the law firm wouldn't be able to survive and thrive without everyone who does their part, they are all valuable, intelligent individuals who deserve more credit. The record clerks, the paralegals, the lawyers, secretaries, the IT managers and so many more play an important role.
After I had Leo, I had resumed my studies trying to provide a better life for him, it made me sacrifice a lot but in the end the result of it was the best and now we were stable.
I smile at the receptionist who smiles back at me, she had black hair with brown eyes, slim with fair golden skin, and the diversity in the law firm all around was incredible. "Hello, I'm Cassandra, I'm the secretary of this law firm I'll be showing you around this place." She gives me a tour of the whole building, it was nice seeing everyone so energetic and talkative. My old firm was friendly but not as talkative as this environment of people.
I get settle into my new office that is spacious with the best view ever, "thank you for showing me around, I think I'll get used to this place quickly." I give her a warm smile. This law firm specializes in family law and they are starting to take on sexual abuse cases. I had learned that they want to specialize in both specialties, it's great because I was actually trying to be specialized in both which was why I had started off getting certified for both.
A knock on the door welcomes me, "hello! My name is Madison, I'm a paralegal here, since last year and I'll be working close beside you, I heard that you were one of the best and I'm excited to learn from you." Madison seemed around my age with ocean blue eyes, blond hair with dirty blond roots and looked very well put together.
"Are you going to become a lawyer?" I ask her, some people remain as paralegals or change to become a lawyer, it wasn't something we've never seen.
"That's the plan," she smiles.