Shattered - Chapter 33: Chapter 33

"You can not turn this shit back on to me, if you think you're so smart, then why didn't you listen to me? Why did you listen to Sarah?" My voice came out louder then expected. "That was the most stupid thing you could do."
"I already explained it to you and you forgave me. Sarah never told me shit!" He yelled.
"Well maybe I shouldn't of forgiven you." I was so angry that words were just started flying out of my mouth, even if I didn't want to hurt him emotionally. "You need to wake up and realize that other people have stuff they are dealing with as well, clearly you just look at things on a one-sided perspective."
"Sometimes you don't understand how important things are—" he starts off but I am not letting him finish that sentence.
"Uh no." I laugh wickedly, "you cannot turn this bull shit onto me where I don't understand how important things are." I was about to give him a piece of my mind. "Who do you think you are to go around saying that things aren't important? Here, let me educate you a little bit. When I left guess who was the most important to me? Leo is the answer. Exactly no response needed. It was important for me to make a life out of what I was given, to continue my studies, take care of him and then take care of myself." I wave my hands exasperatedly, not stuttering on any of my words. "I needed money, so I moved my ass to get a fucking degree! It was important for me to make sure Leo ate well and got a good education, I sacrificed valuable time with Leo to work and keep us stable in the first few months while doing my bachelor's. I couldn't even spend that much time with him. You know as much as I would of loved to hold my baby in my arms, to nurture him myself, I had to see what was important, which was his future then my happiness in the moment. Instead of staying home with him, he had a nanny, I was actually busy breast pumping milk to keep a supply up for him while I went to study all day long and work at night. So don't you ever tell me that I don't understand how important things are, because, I. Fucking. Do."
"All I'm saying is that there is always next time," he huffs, "this was just really important to me."
"Sometimes you think that you'll get a next time, but Leo growing up will never get a next time. Time is worth a lot more then you think and you'll never have enough time. Look at me and my parents, I thought I had time with them until they disowned me." I was disowned at fourteen years old when I had told them exactly what I had planned for me, obviously they never really liked that idea so they started to avoid me, all the attention went to my sister Reina. Then there was this huge blowup argument with me and my family, as in a family dinner with my annoying aunt Marie who is always bragging about her daughters how well off they were with their husbands and amazing jobs. My family's background was pretty wealthy yet so toxic...
Aunt Marie was telling me all about her daughters asking me in a pestering manner about how I was doing with school, the things I wanted to do in life for once, when you come from a family of people who are all in the medical field, you would only suspect that everyone else would follow along their foosteps. Except for me, I was the exception that wanted to go into law, which was still as good.
Law is such a competitive course, as soon as I found the thing that I was passionate about that was the moment that I knew what career I wanted to pursue, in order to let the silent voices of scared women to be heard, to be a positive outlet for them to trust in with all the events that would occur in their life. I would be the one standing in court proudly representing each and every client that was given to me every step of the way.
Of course, my aunt saw it as a horrible thing for me to pursue so she decided to bring up the subject when we were all chatting and eating dinner. Yes, she did side with my parents on this, which was so bizarre, my family should've been supportive about my choices, yet they've always looked down upon me. I was living in my sister's shadow, never anything I would do would satisfy them the way she did. Perfect grades in her sciences, amazing boyfriend, high school sweethearts that would get married after her second year of college, perfect time management, perfect looks, amazing talent, perfect friend, just perfect everything.
I was apparently the rumbunctious one with the wild friends, just because my friends wanted to go to a lake party with other people in our grade would mean that we are all going there to smoke, drink and have sex.
Where as Reina, my older sister who would ask to go to a party and stay at a house for two days, they would be totally fine with it. Considering she is mature, with the best friends ever to exist that were well behaved but really I knew they would smoke pot, drink and everything. My parents literally thought they were angels. My parents were obviously done with me at the age of fourteen, right when I was about to start high school already knowing what path would be taken, they disowned me, didn't talk to me at all, no family time with me but I lived under the same roof until after my graduation.
I saved up a bunch since my parents didn't want to provide me money to pursue law so I took it as my option to leave never looking back.
"Larissa told me how this needed my full attention. I'll be there tomorrow, I promise." He tries to convince me but the look in his eyes was unreadable.
"Don't promise me that, you have to go and apologize to your son." He didn't owe me an explanation except for Leo.
I go back to cooking dinner while I leave Nathan to decide what he wants to do with the situation.
Nathan's POV.
I just stood here a for a few minutes thinking while Alina had her back turned to me while she was cooking. She was right, that I needed to apologize to Leo about today, she also made me realize that Leo should be the most important thing to me. I should listen to her but I'm able to balance the two most important thing to me, my business and Leo all together. I just have to start adjusting to it to make it function with my schedule, it should be easy after a week or two. I'm sure she wouldn't mind me trying to adjust to it.
For some reason, I could already sense the sadness that was to come from my son, normally whenever I arrived home or even walk through the door, he would be the first one to come greet me at the door. Not today, today I let him down, it did mean a lot to him. My company was now just opening a hpotel which needs a lot of my time devoted to it to make sure it's prepare before our planned opening date.
Larissa and me got so consumed in our goal for today that I missed all the texts and calls from Alina, hopefully Leo would forgive me for not being here today.
I reach his door after a little while of thinking, I knock on his door before going in seeing him on the ground with his little animal figurines, it was like he had built his own zoo, minus the dinosaurs that were in it as well. He looked pretty out of it, he didn't even spare me a glanced. "Hey buddy, whatcha doing?" I interrupt his playing.
He looks up to me with his cute eyes, "nothing," Leo responds quietly while resuming what he was doing. Damn, his cold side was a little scary.
"Are you making a tiny zoo?" I try to create conversation with him.
Again, Leo looks up to me then continues playing, the silent treatment. Wow, he sure had Alina's attitude. Ever since I have found her, she seems to change into this completely different strong-minded woman.
"How about we go buy some new animal toys this weekend? Some boy time." I suggest to him which doesn't seem to work. "We could also get some fries, how does that sound?"
"Just leave me alone! Go away!" he yells out of nowhere. I didn't realize that he would be this mad about me just missing today.
"I'm sorry I wasn't there to pick you up today." I never thought in my life that I would be trying to beg for a child's forgiveness.
"I thought you were going to pick me up daddy." He stops playing with his toys, putting them away in his bin.
"I know Leo that I didn't show up today, I had something very important come up which is why I wasn't there, but I promise that I'll pick you up with mommy tomorrow and you can scream all you want about it. How does that sound?" That is something I can do for him.
"That sounds good daddy," he says quietly.
"Good now come and give me a hug," I tell him.
"Not today daddy, I'm still mad at you." That was the most shocking response that was evr heard from a kid, especially one his age. He seemed so well behaved and well mannered around Alina. When I thought he was joking, Leo just ran out of the room in the direction of downstairs. What was that all about?
Instead of caring to much, I just left what happened how it was, I come downstairs to a table that was neatly set while Leo was hugging his mom as she finshed cooking some stir fry. It was cute how his small body was trying to hug her, although Alina was pretty petite herself.
"Mommy, can I try first?"
She giggles, "Leo, we are eating in a few minutes, can't you wait a little until we sit down for dinner?" Alina looks down at him.
"Please, it's not fair that you get to taste test the food all the time." He whines.
"That's because I need to make sure that it tastes good enough for you." She tells him.
"Please mommy!" he pleas one more time.
"Only a little," she tells him while picking him up to rest him on her hip in one hand as the other picked up the wooden spoon to continue cooking. She blows on the spoon before feeding him the fresh food she was cooking.
"Mhmm," he groans, "that's good mommy."
"It has to be good, if not you wouldn't eat it." she lowers him back down to the ground, "now go wash you hands then sit at the table." She turns around looking at me, "and you can grab some plates and bowls."
I did what I was told, "I apologized to him like you asked me too."
"Good, because he deserves it after what you did today."
"He doesn't want to hug me..." I look sad.
"Well you can't blame him, as cliché as it sounds, your actions speak louder then your words. He will react to everything you do, that's what kids do, they are observant and will act on what is given. Now you just need to give him time, he's like you. Leo needs time to burn off some steam." What she was saying was right, when I'm angry, I always have to be left alone to think.
We sit down at the dinner table eating all together, but today we ate in silence, the tension in the air was unbearable to sit through. Leo was extremely quiet, I thought he was going to talk with us.
"How was your first day of school buddy?"
"It was fun," he reply's dryly again. I hated how he was acting. Everything about it just send shivers down my spine.
"Did you meet new friends?"
"Yes." Come on, Leo just talk to me man!
"Did your class like your cookies?"
"Yes and they ate them all with me." He goes back to putting a spoonful of food back into his mouth, this was annoying me that he wouldn't speak to me.
Alina was trying to stifle a laugh, probably because by the look of the scene, I was the annoying kid that wouldn't stop asking questions, pestering the shit out of someone while they tried to give of the best dry response to give them a hint.
"How was your teacher?"
"She was very nice." He says then looks at Alina, "mommy, can you please read two books with me today?"
"Why don't you ask your dad? Don't you think he should get to read you one?" Alina attempts to help with the situation.
"Do I have to?"
"Well daddy always makes those funny voices when he reads, it would be more fun."
"Okay, then daddy can read them to me."
We finished up dinner, while Alina washed the dishes, it was my chance to make it up to Leo, I rushed upstairs going to change into my pyjama's before heading to his bedroom. My goal was to make him smile at least once tonight no matter what it took, I just wanted his forgiveness more then anything else right now.
The timing sucks with everything, the fact that my hotel was on a time crunch to get finished just because we were in competition with eclipse's hotel, which was owned by the one and only Luc Alson . I hate that guy's guts for two main reason, he always wanted to one up me in this business world which never happened due to the fact that he never thought of everything but just purchased whatever he pleased and because of him blaming Alina.
He destroyed our friendship.
"Are you ready to read now?" I ask my son as he was brushing his teeth in front of the mirror of his bathroom, he nods at me with the foam all over his most. At least he was brushing properly, which was crazy that his mom even taught him to floss. I wonder what is one thing that she hasn't taught him to do. He was so independent, intelligent and wise.
"I want to read the story about killer whales and the rhinoceroses," he tells me before I had the chance to skim the shelf for a book to read.
After the books his eyes were closing slightly, I tucked him into bed kissing the top of his head while Alina came in at the last moment to plant a kiss on his head.
We went back to our room, she made her way directly to the bed while I went into the bathroom to take a shower, brush my teeth and change before heading to bed with her.
When I came Alina was clutching a handful of her hair whimpering in pain which made me rush to her side. "What's wrong baby?"
"My head really hurts," she sniffles.
"Do you need pain medication or anything?" I ask her ready to get her whatever she wants or needs.
"Can you just get me some pain meds? There is some in my purse in the closet, the grey bag."
I immediately go to the closet to find her pain medication that I wasn't aware about. Alina told me that she would tell me if she didn't feel well, why didn't she tell me about medication she has been taking?
I feel bad for Alina, she's probably been suffering and I couldn't even do anything about it, I didn't even know about her headaches. I'm such a horrible husband, I keep trying and trying to make things right with them but it seems that it's not playing out well in my favour. Every time I just— I just tend to make matters worse. I've been feeling happy, but now when everything is coming together so well, it's also falling part at every little crack.
Being with Alina this time is different then before, I don't know how to fix it, I don't want to fail them, I just want Alina to feel proud of me, I've been wanting to open a hotel for several years and plans were set in place before I've even ran into her. I don't care about what the fuck other people think, the only opinion that matters is her's.
The look of disappointment from her made me feel guilty, but my hotel needed to be my priority as well, as soon as it opens I would have more time to relax and the partnership with Mr. Amari would roll smoothly.
Every time she looks into my eyes, it's hard for me not to feel sad over all the pain I've brought her since she came back. Maybe it would be best if I... let her go. She deserves someone way better, and I love her so much but I don't know if I can be the perfect man for her anymore... I wish I could go back to the day we met, where our lives were so simple.
Finally, the tiny container of pain medication appeared, quickly I dash out of the closet looking around the room. Alina wasn't in bed anymore, looking around, the bathroom light beamed through the crack of the slightly opened door.
"Alina?" I asked while opening the door to look for her, there she was hovering over the toilet throwing up all the food from dinner.