Shattered - Chapter 42: Chapter 42

Wondering if I had mistaken the voice for someone else, "I'm sorry who is this?"
Nathan seemed more intrigued by my question and sat up silently asking who was on the other end of the line. Unfortunately I wasn't able to give him an answer yet so I just shrugged. "Is this Alina?" The woman's voice insists again.
"Yes—" before being able to ask who I was speaking with, they answered my question for me.
"It's me Reina." The blunt voice said to me, this wasn't the right time and things were falling into place. Out of all days the call had to be made on this great day?
"I'm sorry I think you have the wrong person—" She cuts me off. Obviously I would recognize the voice of my sister, it never disappeared from my memory. The slightly high pitched voice that would always echo throughout the house that would always tattletale on me no matter what. My family was toxic to me, years of my life I have lived their ways without any decisions to make. The minor choices were fine, the choices that would alter my path of life. Not so much...
"It is you." She states, my lie wasn't making it very far with her.
Talking to her made me think back to every single thing that has smothered me from a young age. When I left, they never wanted to see me anymore. They told me that they would be happier without me and they would never wait for me to come back. Words hurt a lot, it was hard. The constant feeling of being impaled by invisible weapons without a way to alleviate the pain inflicted.
None of them ever wanted to know me, do they even remember what I told them? My dreams? Things I wanted in life? It was always to go and become a doctor, then marry a man who matched all of their criteria. Clearly that never came about, I eluded all of their direction. Was it ever about my happiness?
They would accept Nathan only because he is part of the high class with more income then me. If I met someone who had a smaller income then our relationship would be forbidden, I was barely breathing living in their rules of restraint. From my point of view, I am together with Nathan because he understands me more then other people. When I was falling to pieces he stood by me constantly encouraging me to do what I felt was best.
"No you have the wrong person," I repeat biting my lower lip trying to hid my sniffles from the other end of the line.
"Alina, it's me your sister... can we talk?"
"You were never my sister. You've never been there for me and you have never defended me when I needed you the most. Don't call this number again." I hang up still in shock that she would call me and have the audacity to call me her sister.
She was not the best sibling, if they knew what age and what happened with me and Nathan. No doubt would they be ashamed with me, a mom at a young age with nothing but empty pockets. No money prepared for the infant that was growing within me, a job they would title for the poor, an irresponsible young adult that left her entire life behind to pursue law. I wanted to assist people in my work environment, but not in the way they wanted. My job at the diner truly helped me see that the people who bust their butts there worked extra hard to pursue there own dream where as in my situation I was handed everything.
My nose started running, without realizing I was already crying silently. Nathan just stared at me without any hint to what to say, I could visually see that he was stuck with no words. He has never met my family, not once, it was his family that did helped me with everything. Forever I will be grateful for the guidance, they took me in so openly and no judgement.
Anthony and Elise has been the best parents in law to me whenever I fucked up. Advice from them was irreplaceable, for two people with decades of experience in a relationship helped me. During a low time for me they reassured me that they would help me.
There was one time I went to get my remaining possessions, when showing up the words of my mother still played in my mind when thinking of mine and Nathan's relationship. Our romance was the trending news and even made an appearance in the new paper. Showing up to the house alone was a bad choice, she screamed and threw my stuff on the ground of some of my clothes were thrown at me.
"Spare him, don't marry him! He's just looking for fun then he will leave you! He manipulated you into choosing law and one day you'll regret it. The day he realizes you're stupid he will not think twice about leaving you. You'll come back to us and we'll no longer be here for you." She had said it with venom and anger.
That night I had showed up at Nathan's front door with a tear stained face with no money or anywhere else to go since school had just finished. My rental room wasn't available and I was screwed. I loved him too much that I couldn't let him go. I left and ran from home to be with him. Elise welcomed me into their home, she fed me, made sure I slept, wanted me to continue school and funded my tuition. They showed up to our wedding, I even mailed them invitation for mine and Nathan's matrimony.
No one showed up, none of my family, my relatives, I had no friends to invite either. All my relatives blocked me out, they stood with my parents and took their side over and over. My step dad was just horrible, always took an interest in Reina. He had changed my mom's in ways that you couldn't understand unless you knew her personally. She became more irascible with me, more apathetic with my feelings. All because of Dave, I warned her, stared her right in the eyes and started checking off the lists of things he was doing.
My biological father left because he wanted to get sober, he drank a lot when money was tight for us and things got hard. Watching me and Reina get pushed down a path we didn't want, well that I didn't want. After Reina got to go to medical school he was done, didn't want any of us to be around him since he would say things he wouldn't mean. Thought it would have a mental toll on us which it did, Reina always wanting to be the golden child no matter what she wants to give up and me. A shit load of emotions that couldn't be controlled. So I left. Just like my dad did.
Me and my dad connected in a different way compare to the rest of my family. He went in for treatment and got a divorce with my mom when Dave who was originally her coworker started manipulating her. My dad and my mom didn't have the same images in their minds about anything. She was so adamant that he was the problem, he made all the wrong choices and my dad asked for a divorce.
His departure impacted me more then Reina, he apologized to me because he couldn't save me from being scolded at for no reason anymore. My mom filed for full custody and got a restraining order on my dad, who does that? When he left, we tried to stay in touch all the time but in between treatments and his work sometimes he was busy which I understood. A promise he made to me was that one day we could see each other once again, as soon as I was able to leave without any restrictions from Dave or my mom. Immediately I had to get out of there. That was when I started applying to a university out of the state to head to another state where my dad was still doing his treatment and work.
I was proud of where he was today even though he has relapsed a few times, his confessions to me had showed me he was trying and with all the treatment he was receiving. They didn't allow his phone to contact people, only short periods for visiting hours. I had visit him a few times to see how he was doing, once he got out of there with a job waiting for him he started and met someone new. Her name was Skye, since I've been busy I normally text them. Right now they decided to tour the world for his work that builds homes for the rural areas of countries so only pictures for the time being.
He has only seen Leo from pictures or FaceTime, although it is tough to call each other when there are massive time differences. When they are finished and back in town from their long vacation then we could go visit them.
He wanted to attend my wedding but I understood the situation, his relapse made him miss out, he was extremely sorry but I just wanted him to be safe and receive the help he deserved. It's been awhile since I've spoken to Nathan about him, hopefully Skye and him will be back soon.
My hearing seemed to block out because I didn't notice Nathan who had approached me quietly, giving me a soothingly warm hug to calm me down. We laid in bed together, his arms enveloped me from behind as I looked out the window and listened to the rain that was hitting the glass balcony window.
I am loosing my mind.
These mental scars are here, I just want them to disappear. It's all in my head. It's all in my head. It's all in my head. That was all that could be said since I was hoping that all of it was all a dream or nightmare?
It was already late and nothing seemed to help soothe my exhausted mind.
Checking my phone it showed five missed call from the unknown caller, it was still probably still Reina trying to reach ahold of me. Little did she know that I would never pick my phone up to answer her.
Getting out of bed to get dressed and head downstairs to get ready for the day, might as well pull an all-nighter. It was five in the morning, Leo is supposed to wake up in a few hours for school. In my closet I grabbed jeans, a floral shirt and I would wear flats today. Putting minimal makeup because I was tired, yet unable to sleep well.
Going downstairs I started on Leo's lunch giving him some of the leftover food and some tortilla chips to eat with it. I decided to give him different vegetables using small cookie cutters to make it exciting for him to eat, some different animals to make it interesting. I decided to eat the parts of the food that wasn't used so I didn't have to waste anything.
I went in the drawers to get him gummy's and a Rice Krispie square, all of them had a tiny white spot that you could write on. Taking a sharpie, I decided to write a little message. Leo was capable of reading basic words since he spends his time learning about animals or dinosaurs.
Have a good day baby, mommy loves you🖤
I decided to draw a heart then colour it in with the black permanent marker. I hope he is capable of reading this and it makes him happy, after last night all that I wanted to do was cuddle with him. Not giving a care about Reina's phone call, it shouldn't affect me as much as it is, but thinking of my family coming back into my life meant not only I would endure them. My son would have to go through the same thing as me.
Packing everything up I put it in his backpack, checking his agenda like always to see if there was any notes for me. Instead of a note there was a birthday invitation to... flipping it open it was for Amelia's birthday party at a lake house. The kids were going to have fun, with paid lifeguard supervision. My son seems to be very close to with Luc's daughter these days, I was still scared to be sending him off to a birthday party at a lake house. It could be dangerous, I don't know Amelia's mom very well and this is Leo's first birthday party. Luckily I saw it so I could RSVP to it early, at the end of the card it said that parents are welcomed to tag along as well.
I know that Nathan would argue with me about letting our son go to the birthday or staying there. Leo deserves to have a fun childhood without our mistakes from the past constantly playing a role in it, and plus we could attend it as well to just be cautious.
"Good morning," Nathan appears from around the corner making me jump.
"Good morning," I smile at him, hopefully he doesn't start screaming out of anger.
"You look tired," he affirms looking at me with worried.
When getting ready this morning, my mirrored reflection had showed me the dark circles under my eyes. The discolouration in my skin was also prominent, probably from not sleeping or eating anything last night.
"Couldn't sleep." I wasn't prepared to get into it with him, we've spoken about the topic of my family but it was still a sore subject to begin with.
He comes over to me sympathetically, probably picking up on how I was feeling by just looking at me. My attire helped make me look more put together then how I was feeling inside, Nathan on the other hand was disposed to be my rock in this situation. He was put together nicely today, still in his business clothes but not a suit. Navy blue trousers and a white polo shirt, add his designer sunglasses and he would have me weak at the knees.
His arms embraced me and the moment we came into touch every numb feeling of the situation perished, only to be replaced with extreme emotions. I've never knew how to cope or deal with my family issues except to push it all down and get my stuff together. He lift me up onto the counter as he held me closed to him. I wrapped my arms around my neck allowing the tears to release themselves only today. We stayed like this for awhile in silence.
Pulling back from him and resting my forehead against his, "thank you." Just him being here to let me cry and just let me feel the pressure of everything with him to help me deal with it.
He was so close to me when he placed himself in between my legs, looking up to me and seeing the tears. Just like before, Nathan used his thumb to wipe away the teardrops. "You don't have to thank me, I'm going to always be here with you. I am not going anywhere, never will I leave you. You have me," he takes my hand to place it on his chest where his heart is located. "You'll always be in my heart and I don't think that you would disappoint me."
At first in my relationship I was always worried about disappointing him because my mom always infixes in my mind that I was always her failure or misfortune. Nathan knew exactly what my thinking will start to become, the doubt, low self-esteem, regret and just the pain. Immediately he reassured me.
"I love you so much," I sniffled, "I don't know what to do."
He kisses me on the lips trying to radiate as much of his love that he could, "whatever you do, I'll support it."
"Why mommy crying?" We both turn our head to the direction of where Leo is.
"Hey buddy," Nathan picks him up. "Mommy's okay, how about you give her a kiss while I make us breakfast?"
Leo nods his head happily as Nathan carry's him over to me and my son leans in to kiss my cheek. "Love you mommy!" He tells me.
"I love you too baby," I tell him and hop off the counter.
My two boys were the best this morning, so sweet, caring and loving. They decided to make me pancakes with a chocolate happy face and a heart on it. It was a good breakfast, they made me feel better then how I was before.
We were now in the car driving Leo to school, Nathan's hand was on my thigh while I was dozing off to sleep until I was out.
Nathan's POV.
Alina just fell asleep, she was probably tired from last night after everything went down with her sister. I've never met her parents or sister, I couldn't understand how she was feeling since I've never been in that situation, but I can assume how she is feeling. It must be difficult for her, me, Aviana and Sam grew up close to each other. Our parents made sure of that, Alina didn't have the same kind of parents as me. All I know is that she is close to her dad, and her mom is angry that she didn't go into medicine.
I only know what she tells me, according to her mom she was a mistake. Her mom was going to do med-school after having Reina, things didn't work out and she got pregnant with Alina.
These days she has been having trouble sleeping, "daddy, are you and mommy going to walk me inside?" He asks.
"Mommy is sleeping, maybe it will just be me, is that okay?" I ask him although even if he didn't like the sound of it, I wasn't about to wake up Alina.
"Yup!" He agrees easily.
I dropped him off and said 'bye' to him before getting back in the car. Alina was still out cold, she looked beautiful sleeping. I am so excited for their surprise, I had looked into adopting a dog and this perfect German Lab named 'Ollie' appeared in my search. The adoption center was letting us pick him up today, a little black German lab mix. When I was a kid I used to have a dog, his name was Atlas, best dog ever. This new addiction to the family was going to be great, I've always loved to train my pets when I was young.
It was great that she was asleep which meant less questions would be asked, Alina never got the joy of having pets when she was younger and hopefully we could make new good memories for her. Pulling into the location and turning off the car, I get out of the car to go to Alina's side to wake her up. Opening the car door the sun shined on her skin, nudging her lightly made her wake up. "Baby, wake up. We're here."
She opens her eyes slowly looking around and furrowing her brows, "where are we?" She closes her eyes from the bright light.
"To get your surprise, told you I wouldn't tell you and you lived without finding out."
She chuckles, "that's because I had other things on my mind last night."
"Still counts, now hurry up and get out."
"Okay Mr. bossy pants." I tapped her ass jokingly when she made that remark.
To be honest, I was so excited! We walked into the building, it surprised me that Alina didn't question anything until we walked in to see a bunch of animals. While she looked around confused, the lady who worked me asked me my name and immediately recognized it. "I will be right back with your pet sir." The worker tells me, Ollie already got all his vaccines so we didn't have to worry about them.
"Pet?" Alina turns around still confused.
"We are now the owners of a puppy" I tell her smiling.
"A puppy?" She still seemed confused. "What since whe—"
"Here's your little pup Mr. Peterson, I hope you have a great day and love your new pup." The women comes out with Ollie in her arms then passes him to me.
"Our new dog?" A smile was beginning to grow on Alina's face, this was what I was searching for.
I nod, "our new dog, his name is Ollie." There was already a blue collar on him with his dog tag already made for us. "Come on let's go outside."
We both go outside towards the car, "can you take him for a second?"
"Of course," she accepts rapidly and I pass him into her arms. Ollie already was fond of Alina, licking her face lovingly and her laugh made me smile. I popped the trunk to grab out the dog supplies that was hidden from her, opening the back door to put the little dog bed and supplies on the seat. "You're just the cutest!" She exclaims in awe of him.
I chuckle at the way she was acting with Ollie, another reason to why I got him was because my research told me that having a dog is beneficial for one it could help with Alina's stress.
When considering getting a dog, I was scared that it would create more stress but after researches it seemed like the best choice for all of us.