Shattered - Chapter 45: Chapter 45

The man was inside the house again, my vision was blur as he was hiding in that same room which confused me. I thought I had fell asleep on the divan with Leo while Nathan continued to get back to work with the police and private investigator, my surroundings weren't in that part of the house but in a different room of the property watching the unidentify man scowering rapidly through the drawers of equipment and files in the work room. Closing drawers without a care after noticing that they all had a soft-close adapter that Nathan had installed when me and Leo were relaxing just in case Leo would get curious.
The drapes of the room were open making it easier for the man to see, his strong built made it easier to distinguish the gender. For some reason I had no control over my body whatsoever, every step that was taking me closer to the danger made me shutter in fear. Nothing could of stopped me from advancing towards him even when trying with all my strength to run.
I have learned my lesson, the words said by Nathan rang in my ears again, call for help. Pulling out my phone from my back pocket to dial his number, the screen had Nathan's number as one of my favourites and just needed one tap on the icon to start the call. My finger tapped it quickly waiting for my phone to ring. Nothing. I tapped it again, and again, and again. Why isn't it working? He said I should call for help, but if my cellular device wasn't working then it meant there was no help.
Looking up to the man so he wouldn't leave my sight scared me more becase he was charging straight for me which gave no time for my reflexes to kick in. The tall figure hit my stomach lifting me slightly of the ground and kept charging staright until I hit the glass table once again that was supposed to be broken.
I jolt up from my sleep with dampness slightly coating my skin, instant regret made me clutch my stomach. The pain from moving too quickly send signals of pain throughout the aching torso. It was good that I found myself still on the couch in Nathan's office with the only source of light coming fromm outside the window, the moon lit up the room enough for me to look around. The door of his office was closed making me feel more protected from the harm of what happened in the hallways of our house.
"It's just me Alina," Nathan says from behind me wrapping an arm lightly around me waist. "I didn't mean to scare you, I was just coming to sleep with you guys." The minty scent of his breath meant he just went to get ready for bed himself.
"I just felt like that man.. was here again." I whisper so Leo wouldnt wake up.
"Nobody is here in this house, it's just you, me and our little boy, I went to scope out the place myself. It's safe baby," he kisses my forehead.
Moving closer to cuddle into his warm chest where I normally felt at ease, Nathan soothingly stroked my back until I fell asleep.
Somebody's soft hands were felt on my face as a big figure was behind me with an arm draped over my side cuddling me. I already knew it was Nathan who was behind me, he probably stayed up late last night working on our things to make the process of things move a little quicker. The giggles from behind me were getting a little louder then the faint one in my dream, I even noticed the different weight on me, Nathan must of gotten me a blanket last night.
"Shhh, you're going to wake up your mom bud." I hear someone whisper with joy in their tone.
"Daddy, I want to sleep with you and mommy too." That little angelic voice gave away who was speaking from behind me until the couch dipped slightly in between me and Nathan and small warm hands were felt on my lower back.
Nathan clicks his tongue giving up, "you little mommy stealer."
"This isn't your mommy, mama said that GG is your mommy. My mommy," out of nowhere a hiss just like a cat came from him which made me giggle and roll over to my other side.
"That kid," Nathan says as I open my eyes to see my lovely boys with me.
My body was still stiff from the pain, one of my most ridiculous decisions was going after that guy. If I knew that I was going to get this badly hurt then never mind me going after him. I have a child, my reckless behaviour could've had worse results but thankfully it was just bruising. I still have my whole life left, again, I'm grateful. Maybe some common sense would of helped with the pros and cons.
Let's say that I didn't react to him being there, what if he went downstairs to Nathan and Leo to hurt them? That man didn't seem alarmed when the drawers and the loud racket coming from our bedroom or my footsteps were heard. We couldn't even tell how long he has been there, the security footage could tell us that, but imagine not acting on it with a chance that he did something worse to my love ones.
The odds of me actually succeeding with just revealing his face was down the drown when he smashed me into that table. That was unpredictable. A nice looking table in a hallway for decoration used as a weapon to do damage? Who could've thought? Movies have scenes just like what happened to me, but never would you think you would experience it.
The other option was to go back downstairs to Nathan casually tell him that an intruder was within our home and have him go after the man himself. There was also a possibility that the guy searching the drawers would of left immediately once the coast was clear from any residence.
No matter what I do there is always a problem to it.
"Morning," I smile up to them coming out from my sleepy state.
"Morning babe," Nathan kisses me, "I'm going to go get an ice pack for you."
"Thanks, what's all that noise in the house?"
"The maids are cleaning the house and some of my guys are fixing the picture frames to put up. Just relax today." What time was it? All the staff were already here for work? That means we all slept in, running my hand over my face and just trying to think clearly of my schedule.
"Mommy? Why do you need ice pack?" Leo looks up to me with his eyes that I admire. Same as Nathan's.
"Mommy has an ouchy, she's going to put ice on it to help make the ouchy go away." I slightly lift my shirt up to check it out for myself how it was doing and from my side Leo started sniffle which grabbed my attention. "Why are you crying Leo?"
I don't what's more adorable from his response, "mommy, you have an ouchy... does it hurt?" He wipes his tears looking at me with concern.
I pull him closer to me and wipe at his tears that he shouldn't have, "mommy is fine, it will start to disappear, don't worry."
My husband comes back with an ice pack, a breakfast tray and a change of clothes. "What did I miss?" The confusion on his face made me giggle.
"Mommy's hurt," I sit up while Leo moves in sync with my movements and snuggles up beside me as if he was a little baby monkey clinging to their mom.
"I see someone is upset about it," Nathan hands me the ice pack while placing the tray on the table with food that made my mouth water. For some reason, I am really hungry, my appetite this whole week has been crazy.
There was basic toast with orange juice for all of us, the nice ladies must've made us breakfast. "That food looks good, I'm hungry." The white plate with two pieces of toast were passed over to me while Nathan and Leo got their own plates.
"To forget about all this mess, we are going to fun stuff today." I guess Nathan created our schedule for today. "First we have your doctors appointment, then we're going to go paint some pottery at Lana's place, a picnic for dinner and we will be sleeping at my parents house today."
"Daddy said a mean person came in yesterday, he said that tomorrow Daryn will be coming to Papi and GG's house to play with me."
"Well isn't that going to be fun, a sleep over?" That suggestion made me feel better that the two of them wouldn't have to be here alone. Better be cautious then not.
"Yup! Daddy said you guys are sleeping there too."
"Hurry up and eat bud, mommy has to go to the doctor's soon." Nathan reminds him.
The maids came in to clean up our trays while we went to get ready to leave. I have my checkup with my doctor and we are switching me to the pill today, hopefully my headaches, nausea, lost appetite, and overall everything that's been affecting me these days.
We quickly packed some things for our overnight stay, not too much, only the necessities for one day. Worst comes to worst we just go buy something that's missing which won't likely happen, all of us piled into the black SUV. Nathan is going back to his luxurious days with Mr. Ben driving us around to places.
Today Leo decided to try and dress up like his dad, with his nicest pair of jeans and a plain shirt. Close enough, you mostly find Nathan in his trousers and button up shirts. "Did you put gel in your hair?"
"Just like daddy!" Leo exclaims making Ollie's ears perk up from beside him.
"What have you done with my little baby boy?" I look at Nathan jokingly.
"Mommy, I'm not a baby. I'm a big boy."
"Where did my little man go now?" I frown on purpose.
"I'm right here." He points to himself.
"But you said your a big boy. So I call you big man now."
"No mommy," he hugs me tightly, "I'm still your little man." He wines upsettingly.
"You'll always be, I'm just joking with you." He quickly reverts back to himself with a huge smile.
The car pulled into the parking lot dropping us off at the front entrance, the boys decided to come in and wait for me while Mr. Ben watched Ollie. The smell of the hospital had the scent of the disinfectants lingering, just like it always did whenever we payed a visit to the doctors.
This hospital was big as if it was a maze, with the help of the white writing on the dark blue signs it was easier to navigate through the halls. The waiting room wasn't too overcrowded which is good meaning it wasn't a long wait just to see the doctor. After checking in with the receptionist we sat down in the chairs along the walls waiting for me to be called.
Leo and Nathan were goofing around in the chair next to me, with his son on his lap and both of them talking about whatever.
"Alina?" My female doctor calls out taking me out of my daze.
Looking to Leo and Nathan, "I'll be back,"I place a kiss on my son's head.
She took me down the hallway to one of the unoccupied, closing the door behind me and starting immediately with all the usual questions. I cooperated with her allowing her to do what was needed, but the response from her checking was to have me get a CT scan to check if there was any brain bleeding or swelling. After a neurological examination we were able to fit a CT scan right after that since coincidentally somebody had a patient reschedule.
Informing Leo and Nathan outside they were calm about it, Nathan wanted to make sure that nothing was wrong and that I remained healthy. Deep down there was this unsettling feeling in my stomach which was bothering me. It took awhile for them to scan it and tell me that everything seemed good, she told me to take it easy by taking some time off from work and not be too hard on myself. These days have been horrible but hopefully they'll get better. She just recommended me some over-the-counter medication.
"Ready?" Nathan stands up once I turned the corner into his view.
"My next appointment is in a few minutes then I'll be done." Luckily my neurologist informed my doctor and was able to fit me in somewhere.
Right when walking into the other section my doctor greeted me, calling me in to the room, once again she asked me the usual questions. Telling her how I've been feeling lately, thinking it's the birth control shot she recommended me to switch to the pill. Just like what I was planning.
Her basic interrogation had multiple questions involving everything, "I just want to be sure, we have to ask you this." She finishes typing whatever onto her computer, "is there any chance that you are pregnant?" Her voice was calm.
"Uhm— no, not that I am aware of." For some reason the question sparked something that was unusual. Was it fear? Fear of being pregnant once again, probably...
"Can you get a sample of your urine quickly then come back? The bathroom is right across the hall." She nicely asks me handing over a little cup container.
I spent a good five minutes in the bathroom stressing about another baby, we aren't prepared and I don't think I can do it mentally...
How do women pee into this cup? It's so difficult and annoying for us to do it. Takes a lot of effort on our part.
"You're not pregnant." My doctor tells me which feels like a weight lifted off of me. Of course, I love children and babies, but having another one is scaring me more then ever.
"Does that mean I can get the pill today?"
"Yes you can, I'll be right back." She leaves the room leaving me by myself, while looking around the test that came negative kept my eyes glued to it.
I have to tell Nathan how I feel, he deserves to know about this and once he does I don't know how he will feel. Nathan wants more kids, deep down I'm so scared to have one again and this might make him more upset.
A few more minutes pass until my doctor comes back in handing me some things with instructions on when to start taking it. "I just wanted to inform you that if you do try to conceive, you'll be able to in three to four months, but for some women it takes a year or two."
"Okay, thank you." I leave going back to the waiting room to leave with my boys.
They were both laughing by the time I came back, "Leo, mommy's here, time to go." I hear my husband telling my son.
"Hey guys, what did I miss?"
"Nothing mommy, we are going to paint now!" Leo raises his arms in the air.
A black SUV was already at the entrance waiting for us to pile in, the door opened allowing Leo to go in first. Once we were sitting was the best moment to talk to him, if my procrastination continued on then he would probably never know. Rip the band-aid off, that's the saying right? "Nathan, can I tell you something?" This sounds like I am pledging guilty for something.
"Sure, one second." He grabs something from a little compartment. When he hands it to Leo I noticed it was headphones then a small tv came down from the center of the ceiling in the car. "You can watch your movies on here bud, I got all your favourite ones."
Leo's eyes widen and he is already smiling, "I want to watch the Madagascar!" That was one of his favourites because it involved all different species of animals, just like The Lion King.
As if on command, Mr. Ben turns it on for Leo, and our little boy put the over the ear headphones on. "Now you can tell me." Nathan smiles at me.
"Well," it was actually tough to tell him. "The doctor asked me if I was pregnant today—"
"You're pregnant?!" A look of shock on his face, before I could continue he crashes his lips onto mine while taking ahold of my hands with his, bruising my lips at the same time.
I remove myself from the kiss after a few moments having to be honest with him, "no— Nathan, I'm not pregnant." I let out a heavy sigh.
"Then what do you need to tell me?" Now he was confused.
"I was going to say... that, I was scared. I didn't think correctly and in that moment a I prayed I wasn't pregnant."
"So what are you trying to tell me?"
Getting straight to the point right now, "I'm trying to say that, I don't think I want kids anymore." At that his hold on my hands was gone leaving it cold from the absence of his touch. The face he had on was already anticipated, the look of devastation that isn't easily concealed.
"You don't want kids anymore right now? That's what you mean—" bursting the little chance of hope.
"I mean forever..." his body was moved away from me and his behaviour changed with those three words that made him emotionally upset. Waiting a few seconds to ask him, "are you.. mad?" I whisper to him as he kept his body facing the front of the car while I turned to look at him.
"I thought we wanted more kids." He tells me hiding that he is upset.
"I know, I'm sorry, but I just had a change in heart... I didn't mean to make you sad."
"I just need a little time to think and process this," he tells me and I rest my mind on his arm but instead of like usual, he stiffened from my touch. Removing my hand, it seemed like he didn't want to have anything to do with me.
We sat in the car with awkward silence, Mr. Ben was here, although he only pretends that he isn't in the room or even listening. In this moment, I'm pretty sure that he heard everything and knew that Nathan was upset too.
"Nathan?" I ask out softly again.
"What?" He let's out annoyed which probably means he is angry about this. I don't want to ruin things between us especially that everything seemed to be working out well.
"Nothing changes between us right?"
"Sure." His dry answer clearly stated the opposite.
My guilt was creeping onto me, couldn't I have waited a few days later? Why ruin things now? Looking over at him he was the man that I fell in love with and the person I wanted to have children with. We have one child, he only experienced the more grown up side of Leo. The man that was supposed to father my children only has one child, a kid that he loves a lot but it isn't enough. I think that Nathan feels that he missed out so much on his first child that he needs to make up for the next child we have.
I stopped his dream to get to father another child. I broke his hope. What have I done?
"Sir, we have arrived." Mr. Ben tells him.
"Thank you," he turns to Leo, "we're here, come on." Instead of waiting for Mr. Ben to open the door, Nathan opens it wanting to get out. "Can you watch Ollie for a little bit Ben?"
"Yes sir."
I get out of the car trailing behind him as he fools around with our son, they were far ahead as I walked slowly to the beautiful build that was decorated with flowers, plants and had a pond beside the entrance door. They went into the building while I still walked, stepping in myself the place was filled with pottery making stuff. One section had the paints, glaze and fired things. While the other part was the stock of clay, some spinning wheels and sinks, there are tables all around the room with paint brushes with tiny sinks and tiny pattern tools.
"You're here!" A women's voice yells and when she comes into view I recognized her as my old friend that hasn't been in touch with me for years. Lana. "Is this Leo! He looks just like you!"
"This is my son," he introduces, "Leo this is your aunt Lana, we are going to be painting some plates and bowls to add to the house."
"Yay!" Leo says excitedly.
"You guys can go look for anything you want on that shelf, there are a bunch of different things you can paint." Lana points towards the shelf on her right hand side, "They just came out of the kiln this morning."
The boys run over to look at what she has in stock for them, "it's been a long time Lana... how are you?"
"I'm good, I'm sorry I've never reached out. It's just been crazy these past few years..."
"It's okay," no one else bothered to reach out either so I was used to it. Friends was the one term that I am unfamiliar with because everything eventually turns to crap. "You gave birth a long time ago..."
"To my daughter," she fills in for me. "Her name is Jocelyn."
"That's nice, happy everything went well." It was still awkward between us.
"You just have the one?"
"Yes, what about you and Matt?"
"We have three." She tells me which makes me shocked.
"Wow..."
"Our other two are still young, our second is three years old now and the other is one." It didn't even look like she gave birth, her body looked the same, but a little more curvy. "Anyways we should start painting."
After giving us the instructions on what to do we all sat at a table painting the dishes. Leo was making a cup for his dad while Nathan helped him with what he was doing. Using his tiny hand to my a print on the cup upside down and making eyes for his little hand monster.
I painted a plate with tiny lady bugs because I thought it was a cute design, if we ever have little kids over they could use it, as in Leo's friends. On a mug I had drawn two little birds with the black paint, this was going to be a mug for my apology because I felt the need to apologize to him. The whole time we were here he barely even spoke to me or looked at me. On the bottom I used black paint to write the date on it as a memory of when we did it and I put "I'm sorry." In it just incase he see's it when Nathan uses it.
The place got more crowded then when we were in here earlier, after we all put the over-glaze on our painted bowls, mugs or plates. The glaze dried until you could barely see what was painted on it.
"I'll drop it off at your parents house later when it's done being fired," she had kindly offered after work to save us a trip back out here. The house was on the way home for her which made it more convenient.
"Thanks again Lana, see you next time!" He seemed fine with her.
"Thank you aunt Lana!" Leo smiles at her and we all go to the car.
Hopefully Nathan isn't like this for the rest of the day or tomorrow.
He's giving me the cold shoulder...