Shattered - Chapter 48: Chapter 48

I truly don't know what to say, I genuinely have the best readers and I am so thankful for each of you. I didn't ask you to write a nice comment to me on my last message, but seeing that you did means that I am given something so amazing. I am grateful, thank you all. Xoxo
Another day that definitely started better then how yesterday ended, in bed with Nathan just cuddling was really nice and something that would never get old. The feeling of being safe with someone is a true gift that should never be taken for granted, we seem to always be greedy and want more. Most cases, people lose themselves where in my case... I am grateful and falling deeper by the second into this pit of love.
The term love that we always associate with in our lives, it's a word that many people use without meaning. What is love? Do not ask me that question, nor can I give you the correct answer. To begin with, it's something that everyone has a different understanding of or meaning.
This morning when waking up the first thing that happened was that a million topics had come to mind. Why do we hate people for making mistakes? Isn't everybody human where we are prone to wrongdoings, but we learn lessons from them. How do you even come about being paparazzi? Did you just decide that one day you want to chase after well-known people.
The world is confusing and tough to understand, my eyes are still shut, not wanting to open them to the bright sunshine of today. It hasn't been raining at all, some gloomy weather from time to time only. Nathan's faint natural scent filled my nose, his faint fragrance of cologne that he usually wears. His warm chest that my head rested on, his body heat emitting on to me that is keeping my body warmer then the blankets were doing.
His strong arm wrapped around me keeping me locked into place, until finally opening my eyes and looking up. Those eyes were opened and already watching me calmly as if it was normal, "what are you looking at?" Hiding my face against his chest when the heat rose to my cheek causing it to turn a crimson shade.
"What do you think beautiful?" He sounds amused with me, as he chuckles and strokes my long hair. Running his fingers smoothly through the long brown strands.
"Me sleeping you creep," I joke with him.
"So now I've moved on from Mr. Big Boss to creep? What is with you and calling me names?" He shakes his head
I shrug my shoulders and kiss his chest gently, "love you."
"Nothing to say huh?" The amusement from his tone was very mischievous until I felt his fingers poke at my side.
"Nathan! Stop!" The tingling sensations that kept coming from side to side making me squirm out of his arms. "Okay okay! That's enough Me. Peterson."
Sitting up in front of him as he leans against the headboard, "no come back." Nathan whines pulling me on top of him, his hands running up and down my legs as I straddle him.
"Do you still want to.. talk?" All of the sudden my body started changing, a feeling of anxiety overwhelming me.
"We can talk a little later, let's just relax." He leans up to kiss my neck slowly pecking all over, when he was satisfied his mind took him to my breast. "Beautiful, sexy and pretty. Three in one, best thing ever." He didn't fail at making me blush, taking his face into my hands and kissing him viciously for that comment. Responding immediately and laughing from underneath me, removing my tank top for him to enjoy himself. Eyes going wide at the sight of my bra that was dark green with lace. "I wonder how your panties look like."
"We don't know, you'll just have to wait and see." I wink at him. Continuing where we left off until we heard little footsteps heading our way with a jingling sound from what I assume is Ollie's collar. "Did you lock the door?"
"Did you lock it yesterday?"
"No."
"Well that answers your question." The knob on the door starts to turn and as the door was opening I jumped off of Nathan to my side and hid under the blankets.
"Daddy! Mommy!" Leo screams as he questions my presence. "Where's mommy?" Of course he has to look for me, my body shakes from the risk of me getting caught shirtless in front of my son.
Trying to hurriedly put on my top, thankfully being able to do so before he arrived at the side of our bed. Peeping my head out from under the bed, "there you are mommy! I was looking for you."
"You were?"
"Daryn just left, she said to E-transfer her the money." Leo recited her message clearly for me to understand.
"Did you help show her to the right guest bedroom yesterday? The one I showed you yesterday?" Hopefully she stayed in the correct bedroom because I had made her a little goodie basket for helping me out with Leo.
He climbs on the bed shaking his head, "yes, I did." Ollie calmly laying down on the floor of the bedroom.
"We're you good yesterday?" Nathan asks him.
"Yes, I was, she played with my animals too!"
"You had a good time with her?" Asking my son as he plays with the straps of my shirt with his fingers.
"Mhmm" he reply's.
"Come cuddle with mommy." He listens and moves closer to me and lies down between his father and I.
"Love you mommy." He kisses my cheek which makes a smile grow on my face.
"Love you too little man."
"Aww, I love you guys too," Nathan chimes in wrapping his arms around both of us and bringing us closer to him.
"Ahhh daddy! No!" Leo tries to get out of his grasp.
"Come back," Nathan whines to Leo as our little boy snuggles closer to me wrapping his arms around my next. "You're so mean to me," faking his hurt.
"Daddy's just weak." My eyes go wide as my mouth hangs open.
"Okay, little man, I am anything but weak." He defends himself immediately.
"I know daddy, I'm just joking." Laughing his head off when he got the reaction that I assume he was looking for from him.
"Oh it's on little man," starting to tickle him to death.
Leo's laugh got louder and louder as his face was turning red from repeatedly being tickled. "S-stop!" They finish goofing around returning back to normal as the little guy tries to regain his breath.
"What are we doing for family day today?"
"Papi and GG are making breakfast downstairs for us."
"Do you want to go eat breakfast?" Nathan asks me.
"Yeah, we should get out of bed." I get up walking to the bathroom to do my usual routine. Choosing to wear some jean capris and a form fitting black long sleeve shirt.
Nathan joins me in the bathroom as I apply a light layer of makeup to help cover up the puffiness of my eyes. "Leo went downstairs to eat first."
He was wearing something either then work attire, "you look very handsome in that."
"It's family day," he tells me.
"Even before you never wore anything than trousers and button up shirts, or even polo shirts."
"It's a change, anyways we can talk now."
Pulling out the curling iron to do my hair to change it up a little bit, "sure."
He leans his back against the counter and starts talking, "I want you to tell me why you don't want to have more kids with me. I know that it's difficult for you to talk about it and you are scared to, but we need to get this out in the open Alina. I don't want to constantly run around in loops just trying to figure it out."
"I do want more kids, it's just—" I stop curling my hair to look at him. "It's just—" pausing in the midst of confessing.
Nathan turns to look at me with a sincere look, "you don't need to feel bad, scared or upset. I can take it, you won't offend me if it's about me. I just really want and need to know babe."
"I'm just scared." I blurt out. "I'm scared that you'll leave me again, I'm scared to have complications in my pregnancy, I'm scared of another baby hurting all because of me and you leaving me again. I don't think I could do it all over again if we end up apart..."
He lets out a sigh, "I know that you went through a lot, you experienced things that shouldn't have even happened to you. I am deeply sorry that you had to go through this alone, but I am here now, not leaving now or later. Let me take care of you for once."
"I'm sorry, I really am... just— just if I do want more kids, can we just hold off for a little bit? I can't do this right now." My responses were all over the place with uncertainty.
"We can do that, I'll wait, all I want is an answer that you will consider it."
Turning back to finish my hair and looking in the mirror at him who was smiling like a crazy person. "I said we'll see," he nods.
"You look very beautiful, anyways I'll see you downstairs." He leaves to go get some breakfast.
That was a fast conversation, when it played out on replay in my head it ended with us fighting and not speaking together. This had happened very differently from what I imagined ever since I told him I didn't want anymore kids. There was a change between us that I notice, we're getting through these hardships much easier then before which is an improvement.
Everything is going to be alright. Turning off my curling iron once I was done with my hair, letting it cool off before putting it back in my bag. Loose curls for the day looked very nice. Going downstairs to join every not too longer after Nathan decided to go eat breakfast first, "good morning Alina," Elise greets me when she finish placing the platter of food on the table. It was fresh food that they made and perfect timing for me to come down.
"Good morning, how did you two sleep?"
"Like a baby," Anthony chimes in, which makes me laugh. "How are you today? After yesterday?"
Taking a seat beside Leo, "well, I'm not going on social media or going to listen to what others say. I just hope they don't harass me..." changing the topic, "do we have anything planned for today?"
"We wanted to go get some ice cream later and maybe go to a museum or beach, whichever Leo wants to do." My son smiles wildly when his grandmother explained what their plan was so far.
"What museum do you want to go to? There's a science and technology museum which is cool and the nature museum which GG was talking about earlier." Sounding like Nathan wanted to put a suggestion for the museum of science and technology mainly because it was his favourite thing as a kid.
"I want the one with the animals and dinosaurs papi talked about," there was no chance in winning against Leo if one of the choices involved anything to do with animals or dinosaurs.
"Nature museum it is!" Anthony says excitedly as he watched Leo's reaction which was the cutest, him eating some banana chocolate chip pancakes with whip cream. He is definitely having a lot of sugar this morning, from the courtesy of his grandparents, which I wasn't complaining about. It should be like that.
"Make sure you eat some of the fruit Leo. You need some healthy foods too," reminding him so his only source of energy isn't just sugar based.
"I know, already at some fruits, I'll eat more for you." He sweetly says as he scoops some cut up fruits from the bowls in the center of the table.
"Thanks baby," I wink to him and focus back on the conversation between Anthony and Nathan.
"Business has been great so far, we are hoping to move things along in Dubai with Mr. Amari." It's been awhile since he has mentioned anything about his contract with Mr. Amari, "maybe me, Alina and Leo will go on vacation there for summer. I'm sure it will be fun."
"You want to go to Dubai?" We've never talked about this so it will be an interesting topic, going on vacation just the three of us seems exciting. It will be the first time all together, before I wanted to save up money to bring Leo to Disney world, although it was never convenient with timing.
"Why not? Fun time, just you, me and Leo, you would get to meet Mr. Amari's family like he insisted on and we can tour around. If you don't even want to go for that long I can do a week or a few more, up to you babe." Leaning in to kiss me on the cheek as I put a bite in my mouth.
Finishing chewing, "I think that would be fun."
"It will be, trust me." His smile on his face is so enchanting to me.
Breakfast was wonderful that Leo also got to see his uncle Sam who decided to eat breakfast with us before heading out to meet up with Talia who seems to be on his mind since last night. Taking the empty dishes to bring them to the sink, I start on the dishes as a force of habit from living alone with Leo for five years.
"Can I help?" Nathan asks pulling me out of my dazed self which didn't even occur to me that I was not paying that much attention.
"Hmm— uh yeah, I'll rinse, you dry and stack?"
"Yes ma'am."
"Did you fill Ollie's bowl?" Making sure our pup was taken care of.
"Already fed and trained him a little bit, he is so good." One by one he took ahold of the dishes and utensils I was handing him. Putting them into a neat pile to put them away altogether instead of running around.
"Great, I just have to get my purse and then we can go."
"I'll leave Ollie in his gated area they setup and leave some pee pads, the staff will make sure he's taken care of. I'll get our little guy ready and we'll head out."
Quickly dividing the stack of dishes between the two of us to put away, Leo was still playing with his grandparents waiting patiently for us.
Once everyone was ready to leave we took separate cars because we were returning back home tonight, whenever I would ask Nathan some questions about the break in he seemed to avoid answering. Probably since the pictures of last night, with my panic attack adding to my list of reasons to how I was unstable.
Buckling Leo into his booster seat which was located beside me, he was ready to head to the museum and not wait any longer for anyone. As we drove our driver turned the radio on to play songs that Leo was dancing to beside me. Resting my hand on his tiny legs, he played with my rings twisting them and squeezing the diamonds on it.
With my other hand holding Nathan's, he also had his arm wrapped around me, "you have nothing to worry about at home, I'll be working from home all week and spend some time with you during your work time off."
"You didn't have to—"
"I wanted to. No comments. Larissa has everything in the office under control, if anything, they could always contact me by my phone." He kisses me on my temple, "it's just you and me together this whole week."
"That should be fun."
"I hope it will."
Arriving at the museum, once everything was reunited we all entered the huge building to begin with our day of fun. Just as we walked in, there were already some captivating mini clips of animals repeatedly playing. With Leo being so amazed, he was anxious to begin touring around. "Mommy! Daddy! Let's go!!!" His cheerful voice rushes us to enter the first exhibits.
"He's going to love this," I tell Nathan smiling at how happy our son is by just being here.
"Let him spend some time with my parents, they absolutely love watching their first grandson and missed him. You and me, can trail behind slowly."
"Mommy! Come look over here!" My son calls me, so much for letting him spend time with Nathan's parents. He is still glued to me even if it involves having fun.
"You know it sucks how glued to you he is," Nathan scrunches his nose and chuckles obviously finding it funny.
"Oh come on, I'm not leaving you. Let's go see, come on big guy."
"Big guy?" His eyebrows arch up, "another new name, what is that? The like third?"
"Fine, from now on I'll just call you Nathan." Always calling me out for the names he is called, "asshole." I mutter which he then slaps my ass and makes me jump a little.
"Say that to me again," he dares me.
"Seriously?" I couldn't help but roll my eyes from his teenager act.
We make it to Leo who was looking at the dinosaur fossils attempting to read the name of it on the panel in front of it. "Mommy it says triceratops..." he slowly sounds out each syllable.
"Very good baby," releasing my hand from Nathan's to crouch down beside him and wrap my arms around his little frame. "Did you see the other dinosaur fossils? There are more."
"Can we go see all?"
"Yes we can," Nathan answers for me making Leo squeal with excitement.
"Come on mommy! Let's go!"
"Hey! What about me?" His dad chimes in before he rushes of with my hand in his.
"Oh yeah," Leo moves back to grab Nathan's hand as well and drags us towards the other things he wanted to see.
That silly boy, I click my tongue shaking my head. Having the whole day to spend with each other helped bring us closer together again, going around to learn new information with Leo's curiosity. Compare to all the other kids, he actually was trying to read the information on the panels instead of just looking at the interesting bones and all. We also got to go to the beach for a small lunch picnic, Leo got to play in the water for awhile and build some sand castles with me and his father.
"Ready to go home?" I asked my son who was completely drained from the sun, with his eyes slowly closing uncontrollably.
"Yes mommy." His voice was so faint, as we were packing up he rested his head on me as if no longer capable of supporting his weight.
"Here you can take the bag, I'll carry him to the car."
By the time we arrived home after picking up Ollie, we walked through the door smelling the fresh smell of food that was cooked for us. "He needs a shower tonight."
"I'll bring him upstairs to shower him, he's going to be cranky once he's woken up."
"He shouldn't be too bad."
Going to the kitchen to grab me and Nathan a plate to eat, it didn't seem like Leo was going to eat tonight so we'll just let him sleep. I thank the lady who cooked us the food, always gives us our privacy that I never have the chance to ask for her name because every time I'm about to, she manages to leave without me asking. Bringing two plates to the table, scooping the steaming hot lasagna she said that just came out of the oven smelt amazing.
Going to get my phone which started to ring, I answered it reading the familiar name on it. "A-Alina," the voice starts but it's difficult to understand what the person is trying to say.
"Slow down, I can't understand you." I tell the person in distress in hopes that they would listen to me.