Shattered - Chapter 50: Chapter 50

Getting back from the restaurant we ate at, some leftovers in a container that was in the bag I was carrying back to my dad's room. Both of my boys insisted on me taking it to eat later when the next meal of the day was required.
Sadly, both of my boys had to go home to get the little guy ready for curfew. He has school tomorrow with a presentation, Leo decided to show me at dinner what him and Nathan created. Knowing his dad helped our son, there was no doubt that it would be amazing considering the amount of conference meetings which are like presentations that Nathan has to do. With confidence, Leo had spoken formally for a kindergarten student.
Making his presentation on his favourite animal, the rhinoceros and explaining why it was. The different features of the animal that made it stand out to him personally. One of the arguments that really hit me with warmth and love was when he mentioned if I recall accurately.
"My mommy gave me a rhinoceros stuffy when I was a baby, she is my favourite person and now rhinoceros are important to me." He said with a huge smile.
That statement won my heart by touching it in another sense, I thought he just liked it because from young he was introduced to it. It amazed me that he was able to formulate his own proper formal response, maybe with a little help from his father to tweak it up to perfection. Overall, I was very proud of him for memorizing it and he showed me a picture of his poster board he made. The picture on Nathan's phone was of Leo standing holding up his stuffy while the poster board was on a chair standing upright.
It didn't even occur to me that Nathan's phone background was a picture of me and Leo laughing together, I was hugging him tightly as he tried to squirm away from my affectionate kisses.
Bringing me back to where I am now, in the hospital room with my dad and sitting here anxiously to just understand our current situation. Letting Skye go home to do whatever she needs. "Alina?" Our of nowhere my dad says with a whisper.
"Dad? How are you feeling?"
"I feel like somebody hit me with a wrecking ball, but I'm fine."
"You sure? No pain? Do you need water or something?"
"I'm fine, honey, I just missed you." Regardless of his condition, he manages to make me smile and holds out his hand for me.
Taking his hand, "I missed you too dad."
"How are you?"
"I'm good, been a lot busier with Nathan and Leo altogether. In general, it's really good."
"I'm happy for you honey. I've been waiting for your happiness for a long time, look at you! Your different." He smiles.
"Is that a bad thing..?" I play with my wedding rings.
"No, good in a different way. No stress, you're happy, enjoying your life. Anyways, when am I going to see my grandson?" The excitement on his face was so cute.
Looking at the time on my phone, "it's late now, he'll come by tomorrow after school to see you. He wanted to see you, but you were still asleep."
"How big is he?" His interest was picking up.
"Way too big now, soon I won't be able to carry him in my arms. I just wish he was still a baby just babbling all day and cuddling with me." I smile to myself remembering the past.
"Listen Alina..."
"What's going on dad? Are you in pain?" I rush to conclusion.
"No, no, I just wanted to tell you something. Considering my condition and my age, there's a possibility that I won't make it out of su—" he begins but I don't want to hear it.
"Dad, don't think about that!" I start tearing up, "it's not going to happen."
"Oh Alina... you'll always be my baby girl, but this is something you need to consider and if you don't listen you'll miss out on my last message to you." My dad says sadly feeling this weight on him.
"I-I don't want you to go." Telling him and squeezing his hand tightly then bringing it to my cheek.
"I need to say this Alina, even if you don't want to hear it. Just in case I don't make it..." he sighs sadly knowing that we both don't want it to end in that possibility. "I am so proud of you and where you are, I don't know if my condition is because of my past drinking, but I am still happy to be here with you now. I don't care what happens, whatever you do," he stares me dead in the eye, "you find the happiness you deserve. You deserve to live your life with the people you love, I want you to spend time with Nathan and Leo, cherish these moments all the time. We've been through so much with your mother, but none of that should happen in your relationship with Nathan. Make sure you keep fighting this time."
My tears running down my face as I listen to every word he is telling me. "Do what is right for you. Now, let's stop crying now because I'm still here." He laughs.
"Love you dad," I tell him.
"Love you too, honey bear."
"Find the happiness."
"You're up already, recovering fast I see." His doctor walks in surprised, probably thinking that with his age it might take longer for things.
"I might be old, but I am still Superman." I chuckle at my dad's ridiculous joke that always makes me smile no matter how ridiculous it is.
Leaving the patient and doctor to speak, also letting the doctor do what he is supposed to do. I decide to walk in the almost empty hallways hoping to make time fly by, although I'm not really sure why. His words are still running through my mind, find the happiness, one thing I know is that Nathan is my happiness even though we both come with flaws. We are able to live separate, but we are better together.
If you have someone you love then you need, not even a debatable topic, you need to show them you love them before it's too late. Let them know that they occupy a special place in your heart.
"Alina?" A voice from behind me says which sends a shiver down my spine.
Turning around, the person standing in front of me leaves me speechless. Unable to utter a word back to her without sounding angry or upset, I just want to turn around and walk away and go on with my day. Why was Reina even here? She hasn't even been in touch with dad or talked to him.
"What are you doing here?" I snap harshly in a lie voice not attracting any eyes to us.
"Why didn't you call me when you heard about dad?" Is she being serious? This is preposterous to even ask me something like this while not being in contact electronically or physically.
"We haven't even seen each other in god knows how long? Me and dad left, you chose and I chose. Between the both of us, I should be the one pestering you with questions." How did she even find us?
"I'm on dad's emergency contact." She states which is bewildering.
"It's been years and now you choose to show, where were you all those years?" My anger spiked up from her words.
"I have a right to know if he is in the hospital, he is my dad too." That seems to be her only argument that is starting to become weaker every time she says it.
"Stop repeating that, you obviously are here for something else either for our father's health. Where were you when he was in rehab? All those drunk days that destroyed him? Where were you to help me through it!" I scream at her letting myself lose control, now everyone had their eyes on us. Once my eyes darted at them they quickly they carried on back to their tasks. "Exactly! You picked Dave and mom so you can't say anything. You're so full of yourself!" I lower my voice but speak harshly to her.
Her face was turning slightly red and trying to hold in her anger until she snapped. That was when her hand collided with my face with full force, making my face turn to the side in shock. She just.. slapped me? "You fucking bitch, this is why mom and Dave never liked you. You're a self-absorbed piece of little shit, you don't think of anyone else except for yourself which explains your poor taste in guys and having a bastard child." She pokes my chest with her index finger with her strength. "I really feel bad that you took the lowest path. What did he do, leave you? Yeah, we all saw the articles about you." Palming the throbbing side of my face that underwent the impact of her attack.
"Don't you dare speak about my son that way, he is the best kid ever and if you ever say something cruel like that again then don't you dare cry if I attack you." I snarled at her being protective of Leo.
"You're a fucking psycho, Nathan has poor taste in women."
"Look, dad doesn't need your presence. You're going to stress him out even more and we were better off without you. I think you should leave. We are better off without each other." I try to walk away but she grabs my arm and shove me into the wall, letting out a little yelp at the force that was surprising.
"You listen her Alina, I will be here with you and dad whether you like it or not. I know things about you and your life, if not you will regret it and something horrible will happen." What is she talking about? What horrible thing? "Stay in your lane, little sis." She says with sass.
Walking away to the direction of dad's room ignoring me telling her not to stay, what did she mean that she knows things about me and my life? She knows things that I don't? What is she capable of?
Taking my phone out to call Nathan and hoping she didn't go to sleep, on the fourth ring he finally pics up, "hey babe, how's it going now? I miss you so much..."
"Hi.. Nathan? Is it a good, uhm, moment to talk?" I move into a more secluded area to speak over the phone with him.
"I just put Leo to bed, he misses you a lot. Give me a second," he tells me and I hear shuffling in the background and the door closing quietly. "You can tell me now."
"Reina was here," leaning against the wall a little anxious of our encounter.
"What? How did she know where you were?" He asked surprised that she has came to us after all these years. "Are you okay? What did she do?"
"She just.. was angry that I didn't contact her about my dad. Said a few unkind words about you and Leo," not wanting to go into details about it and rubbing my temples. There was a headache that is approaching me after my run in with Reina.
"Reina can't get mad at you for not contacting her, and it shouldn't concern her because you both chose separate sides. What did she even say?" He persists on an answer from me.
"It doesn't matter Nathan, just know that I don't want to recite them to you because they were hurtful. Using threats that I couldn't even comprehend."
"Threats? What does she want with us?"
"I have no idea Nathan, I.. I just don't know what to do anymore. I'm so lost in everything, one moment there are disgusting pictures of me, the next moment we are fighting about babies, then my sister comes to yell at me and slaps me—"
"Alina, breath. I don't want you having another attack, try and relax a little bit." He pauses for a second which makes me think that he ended our call until he breaks the silence, "she slapped you?" The tone in his voice clearly was readable, having a sense that he was trying very hard to restrain his anger. His words were coming out through his gritted teeth.
"Uhm, yeah.. but I'm alright. You don't need to be concerned." Quickly reassuring him, less to put on his plate.
"Are you sure Alina? Talk to me, it's okay."
"I..." my subconscious was at war with my actions. Making me feel this heavy weight on my chest, it constricted my ability to talk about this particular topic. "I'm fine, anything about the house?"
"The investigator said that it is either related to work or a personal reason, our picture frames that were destroyed indicated a more personal reason. When the man went through my work station upstairs, he seemed like he was searching for a file of mine."
"Do they have any idea who it could be?"
"I've been speaking to them about it, but I don't want you to worry about this. What I want you to focus on is your mental health, today I've been calling and getting recommendations of the best psychologists and therapists. Are you still willing to see one.. well, specialist?" He took the time to look into it? That... it means a lot that he cared so much about my wellbeing and wanted to get me the top experts.
"Y-you looked into it for me..?" I don't know why my voice was faltering when he did something so minor.
"Of course, I want you to be in the best state ever." His cheery voice lightens my mood a little.
"I still want to see a specialist, I think it will help with, you know..."
"I hope that it will work," he comments. "I really miss you in bed, having you in my arms... or just waking up and seeing you." His confessions made my stomach flutter and my cheeks were heating up.
"I miss you too, hopefully I'll be home soon."
"I hope things go to plan."
"Will you come by tomorrow to stay with me after work?" My desire for him to come and comfort me grew as my heart felt a little tight from my dads health. Uneasiness was part of the effects of him being in a unstable position right now, and before he has to be wheeled into the operating room he'll most like will have the chance to spend some time with Leo.
"I'm going in for work because I need to, but I promise to come after that I'll come to you and I'll bring Leo after school."
"I'm going to come home for a little bit to shower and do what I need then I'll come back to the hospital." Unfortunately we aren't able to shower here and it would be good for me to go home to check how things are there.
"Ollie will be excited to see you, he is learning a lot from training." He fills me in on a little that I have missed from being away from home, "him and Leo have been inseparable, at least the new addition has been keeping him entertained. Our son has also been saying that he misses you when we get home, he has been sleeping with his rhinoceros every night and brings it around with him."
"He has?" Normally if he goes anywhere he doesn't bring the plush toy in case he loses it.
"Yeah, he's been very protective with it and won't allow Taryn to touch it." Huh?
"Who's Taryn?" I ask him not recognizing her name.
"She's the new maid, the one that's been helping with cleaning and cooking." The woman that runs away from me before I am able to ask her any questions. Now I remember!
"She made us dinner," instead of it being a question it was more of a statement.
"Yes, she works very hard and is the best. Going back to Leo, he misses your presence at home. Also he wants Amelia to come over to play on the weekend," his voice changed.
"And..? What did you tell him?" He better not of snapped at him.
"I said that he is only allowed if you're home, I'm not putting up with Luc. Fuck that, that's the last thing that I want to do." At least he didn't say anything to hurt Leo's feelings.
"Well, I think I'll be home this weekend. You could tell him that he is allowed and can you give Luc my phone number so I am able to contact Amelia's mom?" I ask him with my sweetest voice that I am able to muster.
"Do I have to give him your phone number?" He groans, "I don't even want to talk to him."
"Please, do it for Leo," I beg him. Emailing her will take longer then a text message because I don't personally know her and have a sense of how often she checks her inbox.
"Ugh," he whines, "fine."
"Thank you Mr sassy pants."
"What did you call me?" He asks which makes me smile to myself.
"I said 'Thank you Nathan'," feeding him a lie.
"No you didn't, you called me something else, repeat it." He dares me.
"Whatever you want, Mr sassy pants." I can't help but giggle.
"The next time we have sex you'll be only screaming my real name," Nathan hangs up on me and I laugh deciding to text him.
Shaking my head from his response, then going back to my dad's room to spend time with him. Ended up talking about how him and Skye were having the best time of their lives when out of the country, telling me all about the beautiful places they had the chance to visit and the types of food they ate. When Skye came back she was glad to see my dad awake and happy, my dad asked me about Leo and how he was doing. There were good stories of the past being retold, a nice conversation between all of us.
"Did Reina come by?" I ask my dad.
He looked at me confused and furrowed his eyebrows, "Reina? Why would she be here? We haven't seen each other since I left your mother."
"I thought she came in to see you half an hour ago?" Was this just my imagination? Where did she go?
"Nobody came in here after you left, I didn't even know she was here to begin with. What did she say?"
"She got angry because I didn't call her when you were in the hospital."
"That doesn't even make sense because how would she.. oh." He realizes something, "she's on my emergency contact. Since Skye and me aren't married they needed immediate family to make decisions.
"Am I not on there?" Why wasn't I called?
"You are, maybe you didn't receive the call because it is your old phone number. I have to change that to your updated one." That does make more sense. "Reina was probably the first to pick up and so they were informing her."
"Well, she's here and is very pissy."
"I haven't seen any sign of her so maybe you told her off?" My dad asks me.
"I'm not quite sure about that..." deep down my dad did care about Reina, with all the fighting and choices between him and my mother, their relationship was affected. He gave it his best shot with Reina, but there wasn't a mutual effort to keep their relationship going.
My dad never saw the point in trying if the other never would endeavour to reconcile.
"You'll be getting surgery, your grandson will be coming to visit you before the procedure."
"I'm excited! The pictures you send me were the most adorable things that I have ever seen, definitely has his father's eyes, his physique, but he has your nose and lips." Which was the only minor detail that was related to my genes.
"He looks a lot more like Nathan," my preemie came out tiny but seems to be growing bigger then expected, it's almost to the point where he is so heavy that I am not capable of carrying him for long periods of times.
He is going to turn five very soon, my imaginative thoughts envisions him reaching double digits which is so far away yet so close. Then we'll be worrying about the adulting aspects, financial parts, relationships he'll have, learning from his mistakes, dealing with living in the real world.
"Yes he does, they look so much alike. You should hear his jokes, I have no idea where his humour came from, especially that it has developed at this young age. He jokes all the time with me and Nathan." We sit in silence visualizing the new things that were spoken about.
He breaks the silence between us after a minute passes by, "are you happy?"
"What?" I ask him since he changed the subject.
"Does Nathan make you happy? Are you happy with what you have now?" He expands on the question.
"Yes he does, we are trying hard to change for the better of our relationship. We've spoken about what our past downfall was and trying to keep our communication." I smile reflecting on our relationship ever since we had met again, "so far it's really great, although the public are wild these days and with Sarah it was complicated." The two of us haven't heard from her in awhile, is this finally the moment where she will leave our family alone?
"Do you think it will last?" That's a very good question. Nathan plays a huge role in my life and it's a mutual thing between us.
"I like to believe that it will, but who can predict the future? Our futures can always change and I'm happy where I am now, I want to focus on the happiness in this moment.. hopefully we stay together." The unpredictable scares me more then Nathan and me than knowing the outcome, the main reason is that when we know what the end result will be, the people tend to cherish every given moment with the individual. Really being grateful for what is given to us, but with the unpredictable it can sometimes blocks our thankfulness and we regret our actions in the end when the unpredictable occurs. That is how I interpret this situation.
"I think you guys will be together for a long time, he sounds like a good man and one that is willing to put in the effort to change. I have hope that you guys will be together for the rest of your lives, you have a child together and it looks like that you two are falling in love again." There is more to our love and I never thought since we've mended what was broken, that we would be separated again.
"We are very happy together, he's been really good to me lately and I have been improving on small things as well. Trying to break bad habits that affect both of of hurtfully, just like not communicating with one another. If a choice was given to me to leave Nathan for money, never in my life would I take it. Money doesn't solve all your problems, yes, it takes off the financial stress. What people don't comprehend that the factor of love in your life is a different type of feeling that once you find you can't ever let it go. It's a drug that every single human being craves in life, having it will make you feel better in multiple ways that couldn't be described by a person's perspective who never had the chance of love.
Your world changes once you allow someone to occupy a part of your heart.
It really made me think of what was happening.
We are both falling in love over again...