Shut Up & Listen - Chapter 29: Chapter 29
You are reading Shut Up & Listen, Chapter 29: Chapter 29. Read more chapters of Shut Up & Listen.
Cobe
As much as I hate to admit it, Cole was right. His stupid ass is crazy as fuck, but even a broken clock is right twice a day. I had to try to make up with Oz. He's all the family I got.
I opened the door to Oz's house and didn't see anyone in the living room or kitchen so I went to Oz's room and noticed the door to the back porch was open. I cracked open the screen door to peek my head out and Oz immediately stood up from the table in defense of what I walked in on.
"Cobe, Whatchu doing here man? You ain't call or nothing?" Aside from the fight we had last week, Oz and I are cool, we hardly ever have disagreements and there's never any disrespect, so this shit right here is beyond shocking. I feel completely blindsided and betrayed honestly.
I stood in the threshold of the door attempting to control the emotions that were trying to escape. I wanted to come off as unbothered by the knife in my back, but I'm confused.
"Why is he here?" I ask motioning my hand toward the man Oz is fraternizing with.
"This my house."
"Oh," I chuckled, "what I meant was. Why the fuck are you having tea with the nigga who abandoned me and my momma and didn't care to even show up to her fucking funeral."
"Watch your tone Kwabena."
"Ion live here no more. I ain't gotta watch shit."
"Aight. Sit the fuck down witcho disrespectful ass."
"Why? He got something to say to me? Cuz I ain't got SHIT to say to that nigga."
"Follow me?" Oz directed me back into the house and into the kitchen where all our serious conversations have taken place recently.
"I got something to tell you but you need to chill the fuck out and just listen. Okay?"
"Yeah."
"I been in contact with ya father for a little while now aight. He came to me few years back saying he wanted to be involved in ya life. I told him no. I didn't feel that he deserved it. And I kept my word. I never let him back into your life."
"So why is he here now?"
"We always meet up on Saturday mornings whenever I'm in town. You know, just to catch up. I tell him what you're up to and whatnot. Been doing it for a few years now." I kept a straight face while looking down and my feet.
"Why?"
"Although he doesn't deserve to be in your life, I do think it's right to at least allow him to have some sort of connection to you. You know he would've come around sooner if he could."
Damn. I don't know what the fuck I did in my past life to deserve three explosions in one day. First Lonnie, then Cole, now this shit. I have to say though, this shit here is the most shocking of all.
"With all due respect to you, as my real father, I DON'T GIVE A FUCK. I couldn't care less where he's been or why he didn't come around. FUCK HIM." I left the room without any concern as to what Oz's response was to my statement. I meant what I said.
I understand his logic, and had this happened before my fight with Cole, or before Lonnie called, I may have reacted differently. But still, Fuck that nigga. Fuck him and fuck Oz for fucking with him. Fuck.
I walk out of the house. I slam the door behind me and stand on the porch for a few seconds just to breathe. I take in my surroundings because I don't plan on ever coming back here after today.
I walk calmly to my truck but once I'm inside, resisting the urge to scream, I settle for a groan coming from deep down in my belly. Sitting in my truck, I can literally feel my entire world crumbling all around me. Each debri causing damage to my vision, dents in my mind, and a fire deep in my soul. I want to cry, I want to scream, I want fuck some shit up. If I was a killer, I'd go beat someone's ass with whatever I could find until my hands go numb and the pain in my heart has subsided. But I'm a simple nigga. In my condition, I just want to be held and consoled and told that everything will be alright. Honestly, nothing brings me back to my core better than a soft ass with warm insides. I want to fuck. By habit I went straight to Lonnie's contact in my phone, but he made it clear that he don't fuck with me no more. I ghosted Mo and I told Cole to kick rocks, so, I decided to call up my peace, Q.
"Aye Q. You free right now?"
"Well it depends on what you need from me."
"You know what I need from you baby boy. You got company right now?"
"Yeah, but I can kick them out."
"Damn, you gone clear yo schedule for me?"
"I ain't seen you in a minute, I miss you."
"You don't miss me... you miss my di-"
"Shut up. Damn, I was tryna make you feel special."
"I always feel special witchu though."
"I know. But that's never enough though huh?"
"Q you kn-"
"Aye, what time you heading this way?"
"About ten minutes. I'm leaving my pops house now."
"Aight, bet."
<><><><><><><><><><><><>
Quincy St. James
Portrayed by Luka Sabaat
Age: 20
<><><><><><><><><><><><>
My relationship with Q is different from my relationship with anyone else. We come from the same world. His dad is a musician and his mother is successful in the fashion industry he lives a lavish life. Although he's on a completely different level than I am, We understand each other. If I hadn't met him when I did, I'd feel so out of place in this world.
After we fucked, Q and I took a much needed nap. Its 4:44pm now. I'm sitting up against the headboard in his bed while he's laying across the bed with his head in my lap. He studies my face and asks,
"So, what's up witchu Co? You only come around when you're upset. "
"That's because you always make me feel at peace. There's no drama with you."
"I get that a lot."
"So you saying a lot of niggas come to your for comfort?"
"I'm saying you tell me that every time you lay with me yet you don't return until you're in distress again."
"You think I use you?"
"I feel like you use me."
"I love you though."
"I feel that too. Which is why I'm so baffled by you boy."
"Damn, I'm a boy now?"
"Your energy is giving me scared little boy vibes honestly. If you don't let me in on whatever's going on with you soon, I'm gonna be forced to pinch your cheeks and coo loving words to you."
"You promise?"
"You're a fool. "
"That's exactly how I'm feeling these days. Like a damned fool."
"Why though. You always make sound decisions."
"Yes! Yes, right. But recently my discernment is off though. All the decisions I've made have been the wrong decisions."
"Like what?"
"Like.... fuuuck! There's way too many but it all started with me getting involved with my bro. I shouldn't have done that shit."
"Was it at least good?"
"Shit, he's good at everything, naturally."
"Damn. Tell me more."
"Hell naw, you know the rules."
"But I don't know him from Adam. The fuck am I gone do? Find him on Instagram?"
"Q."
"Aight, shit. What were the consequences?"
"Aight. So... my two worlds fucking collided. My personal life crossed over into my sexual relationships forcing me to come out to my bro's and Oz."
"Why were you still in the closet anyway? Gay is the new black bro. It's 2020. Get hip."
"Shut up. It's different in the city Q."
"Lame. But continue."
"I broke up with Mo for good. Then I became intimate with Cole which made my whole guard come down leaving me vulnerable to shit I was NOt prepared for. Mo shot Lonnie on my pops front porch causing a whole fucking mess. I swear I had a mental fucking breakdown that day. Lonnie almost died, I got into a fist fight with Oz."
"Pause. You fought the wizard?"
"You a fucking nut dawg. And yes, we fought. He called me a stupid bitch."
"I don't believe that shit."
"Why would I lie? He said I was acting like a stupid bitch over some dick."
"Verbatim?"
"Yes nigga damn."
"Well were you acting like a stupid bitch over dick? Be honest."
After thinking about everything that has happened... shit. "Maybe I was. But hearing it come from Oz..."
"You was just embarrassed cuz he called yo ass out K. Who hit first?"
"I cussed at him, then he hit me."
"So technically, you hit him first?"
"If he was to tell it."
"C'mon man, you really gotta do better."
"I tried. I really did Q."
"What else happened?"
"Two days later Lonnie and Mo both tell me they love me. I ghost both of them after that because I'm just so fucking confused right? I got into a fight with Cole and basically told him to leave me the fuck alone for ever. I didn't mean that shit, but he's gone now. I just found out Oz been chillin with my father behind my back. And now everything and everyone is gone. I ain't got shit now."
"Have you considered that you made the right decision when you messed around with Cole? You are aware that everything happens for a reason right?"
"No. How the fuck is that shit good? We're you even listening to the story?"
"Yes, You've lost everything nigga. Don't you see what's happening?"
"Hell naw Q. There's no bright side to this shit. Everybody's fucking gone."
"Hush K. Do you hear that?"
"What?"
"The universe telling you to pack your shit and go. "
"What the fuck? "
"You're free now nigga. There's nothing holding you back but your guilt. There's nothing else keeping you here. "
"You mean leave?"
"Yeah."
"Detroit?"
"Hell yeah."
"But where would I go?"
"Anywhere. You've always been a dreamer. I know you got a place in mind."
"Damn. I think imma do it."
"You feel that?"
"What?"
"That's freedom Kwabena. You earned that shit."
As much as I hate to admit it, Cole was right. His stupid ass is crazy as fuck, but even a broken clock is right twice a day. I had to try to make up with Oz. He's all the family I got.
I opened the door to Oz's house and didn't see anyone in the living room or kitchen so I went to Oz's room and noticed the door to the back porch was open. I cracked open the screen door to peek my head out and Oz immediately stood up from the table in defense of what I walked in on.
"Cobe, Whatchu doing here man? You ain't call or nothing?" Aside from the fight we had last week, Oz and I are cool, we hardly ever have disagreements and there's never any disrespect, so this shit right here is beyond shocking. I feel completely blindsided and betrayed honestly.
I stood in the threshold of the door attempting to control the emotions that were trying to escape. I wanted to come off as unbothered by the knife in my back, but I'm confused.
"Why is he here?" I ask motioning my hand toward the man Oz is fraternizing with.
"This my house."
"Oh," I chuckled, "what I meant was. Why the fuck are you having tea with the nigga who abandoned me and my momma and didn't care to even show up to her fucking funeral."
"Watch your tone Kwabena."
"Ion live here no more. I ain't gotta watch shit."
"Aight. Sit the fuck down witcho disrespectful ass."
"Why? He got something to say to me? Cuz I ain't got SHIT to say to that nigga."
"Follow me?" Oz directed me back into the house and into the kitchen where all our serious conversations have taken place recently.
"I got something to tell you but you need to chill the fuck out and just listen. Okay?"
"Yeah."
"I been in contact with ya father for a little while now aight. He came to me few years back saying he wanted to be involved in ya life. I told him no. I didn't feel that he deserved it. And I kept my word. I never let him back into your life."
"So why is he here now?"
"We always meet up on Saturday mornings whenever I'm in town. You know, just to catch up. I tell him what you're up to and whatnot. Been doing it for a few years now." I kept a straight face while looking down and my feet.
"Why?"
"Although he doesn't deserve to be in your life, I do think it's right to at least allow him to have some sort of connection to you. You know he would've come around sooner if he could."
Damn. I don't know what the fuck I did in my past life to deserve three explosions in one day. First Lonnie, then Cole, now this shit. I have to say though, this shit here is the most shocking of all.
"With all due respect to you, as my real father, I DON'T GIVE A FUCK. I couldn't care less where he's been or why he didn't come around. FUCK HIM." I left the room without any concern as to what Oz's response was to my statement. I meant what I said.
I understand his logic, and had this happened before my fight with Cole, or before Lonnie called, I may have reacted differently. But still, Fuck that nigga. Fuck him and fuck Oz for fucking with him. Fuck.
I walk out of the house. I slam the door behind me and stand on the porch for a few seconds just to breathe. I take in my surroundings because I don't plan on ever coming back here after today.
I walk calmly to my truck but once I'm inside, resisting the urge to scream, I settle for a groan coming from deep down in my belly. Sitting in my truck, I can literally feel my entire world crumbling all around me. Each debri causing damage to my vision, dents in my mind, and a fire deep in my soul. I want to cry, I want to scream, I want fuck some shit up. If I was a killer, I'd go beat someone's ass with whatever I could find until my hands go numb and the pain in my heart has subsided. But I'm a simple nigga. In my condition, I just want to be held and consoled and told that everything will be alright. Honestly, nothing brings me back to my core better than a soft ass with warm insides. I want to fuck. By habit I went straight to Lonnie's contact in my phone, but he made it clear that he don't fuck with me no more. I ghosted Mo and I told Cole to kick rocks, so, I decided to call up my peace, Q.
"Aye Q. You free right now?"
"Well it depends on what you need from me."
"You know what I need from you baby boy. You got company right now?"
"Yeah, but I can kick them out."
"Damn, you gone clear yo schedule for me?"
"I ain't seen you in a minute, I miss you."
"You don't miss me... you miss my di-"
"Shut up. Damn, I was tryna make you feel special."
"I always feel special witchu though."
"I know. But that's never enough though huh?"
"Q you kn-"
"Aye, what time you heading this way?"
"About ten minutes. I'm leaving my pops house now."
"Aight, bet."
<><><><><><><><><><><><>
Quincy St. James
Portrayed by Luka Sabaat
Age: 20
<><><><><><><><><><><><>
My relationship with Q is different from my relationship with anyone else. We come from the same world. His dad is a musician and his mother is successful in the fashion industry he lives a lavish life. Although he's on a completely different level than I am, We understand each other. If I hadn't met him when I did, I'd feel so out of place in this world.
After we fucked, Q and I took a much needed nap. Its 4:44pm now. I'm sitting up against the headboard in his bed while he's laying across the bed with his head in my lap. He studies my face and asks,
"So, what's up witchu Co? You only come around when you're upset. "
"That's because you always make me feel at peace. There's no drama with you."
"I get that a lot."
"So you saying a lot of niggas come to your for comfort?"
"I'm saying you tell me that every time you lay with me yet you don't return until you're in distress again."
"You think I use you?"
"I feel like you use me."
"I love you though."
"I feel that too. Which is why I'm so baffled by you boy."
"Damn, I'm a boy now?"
"Your energy is giving me scared little boy vibes honestly. If you don't let me in on whatever's going on with you soon, I'm gonna be forced to pinch your cheeks and coo loving words to you."
"You promise?"
"You're a fool. "
"That's exactly how I'm feeling these days. Like a damned fool."
"Why though. You always make sound decisions."
"Yes! Yes, right. But recently my discernment is off though. All the decisions I've made have been the wrong decisions."
"Like what?"
"Like.... fuuuck! There's way too many but it all started with me getting involved with my bro. I shouldn't have done that shit."
"Was it at least good?"
"Shit, he's good at everything, naturally."
"Damn. Tell me more."
"Hell naw, you know the rules."
"But I don't know him from Adam. The fuck am I gone do? Find him on Instagram?"
"Q."
"Aight, shit. What were the consequences?"
"Aight. So... my two worlds fucking collided. My personal life crossed over into my sexual relationships forcing me to come out to my bro's and Oz."
"Why were you still in the closet anyway? Gay is the new black bro. It's 2020. Get hip."
"Shut up. It's different in the city Q."
"Lame. But continue."
"I broke up with Mo for good. Then I became intimate with Cole which made my whole guard come down leaving me vulnerable to shit I was NOt prepared for. Mo shot Lonnie on my pops front porch causing a whole fucking mess. I swear I had a mental fucking breakdown that day. Lonnie almost died, I got into a fist fight with Oz."
"Pause. You fought the wizard?"
"You a fucking nut dawg. And yes, we fought. He called me a stupid bitch."
"I don't believe that shit."
"Why would I lie? He said I was acting like a stupid bitch over some dick."
"Verbatim?"
"Yes nigga damn."
"Well were you acting like a stupid bitch over dick? Be honest."
After thinking about everything that has happened... shit. "Maybe I was. But hearing it come from Oz..."
"You was just embarrassed cuz he called yo ass out K. Who hit first?"
"I cussed at him, then he hit me."
"So technically, you hit him first?"
"If he was to tell it."
"C'mon man, you really gotta do better."
"I tried. I really did Q."
"What else happened?"
"Two days later Lonnie and Mo both tell me they love me. I ghost both of them after that because I'm just so fucking confused right? I got into a fight with Cole and basically told him to leave me the fuck alone for ever. I didn't mean that shit, but he's gone now. I just found out Oz been chillin with my father behind my back. And now everything and everyone is gone. I ain't got shit now."
"Have you considered that you made the right decision when you messed around with Cole? You are aware that everything happens for a reason right?"
"No. How the fuck is that shit good? We're you even listening to the story?"
"Yes, You've lost everything nigga. Don't you see what's happening?"
"Hell naw Q. There's no bright side to this shit. Everybody's fucking gone."
"Hush K. Do you hear that?"
"What?"
"The universe telling you to pack your shit and go. "
"What the fuck? "
"You're free now nigga. There's nothing holding you back but your guilt. There's nothing else keeping you here. "
"You mean leave?"
"Yeah."
"Detroit?"
"Hell yeah."
"But where would I go?"
"Anywhere. You've always been a dreamer. I know you got a place in mind."
"Damn. I think imma do it."
"You feel that?"
"What?"
"That's freedom Kwabena. You earned that shit."
End of Shut Up & Listen Chapter 29. Continue reading Chapter 30 or return to Shut Up & Listen book page.