Shut Up & Listen - Chapter 30: Chapter 30

June 28
Cobe
8:23 pm
I was laying in my bed when I heard someone knock at the front door. I wasn't expecting nobody because I hadn't told anyone that I was home. I crept thru the hallway and across the front room so that whoever it was wouldn't hear me, that way, if it was someone I didn't want to see I could pretend I wasn't home. I peeked thru the peep hole and saw that it was Cole. Something about seeing him made me self conscious of my appearance so I ran to the bathroom mirror to make sure I looked decent. I brushed my hair and checked my teeth then ran to my room to put on a clean t-shirt and joggers. After giving myself one last look over, I ran back to the front door.
I opened the door just as Cole was about to walk away. He turned around and we stood there staring at eachother awkwardly. Cole played with the coils on the back of his head, but no words passed between us. Seconds came and went before he rushed forward forcefully yet carefully pulling me in for a hug while simultaneously shutting the door behind himself. He held the back of my head forcing it into the nook of his neck. His other hand was wrapped all the way around my torso while my two hands rested on his back. He was holding me as if I might slip away from him again if he let go. He still hasn't said one word. Neither have I.
I felt his breath on my neck. It was warm and soothing. It made me feel guilty. How could I fuck up our friendship over feelings?
-
{Flashback to the last time Cobe & Cole talked}
"Fuck you! Bitch ass nigga. You ain't shit Cole. You ain't ever gone be shit. You come from nothing bruh, what the fuck you think you gone become? Some big fucking star?"
"Nigga. Shut the fuck up. I'll blow yo shit in for real. I'm not even who you fucking mad at. You need to redirect that shit to them niggas who tried to kill you on your own fucking porch dumb ass."
"Get the fuck out of my apartment Cole. I'm done with yo stupid ass. Emotional ass bitch. Just get the fuck out bruh."
"What the fuck." Cole mumbled to himself massaging his temples and gripping his phone tightly in his other hand. "I don't even know why you kept me around as long as you did since I fuck up everything for you. Seem like you needed me more than I needed you."
" The fuck I need yo dumb ass for?"
"Is this all a big fucking joke to you nigga? One nigga stop fucking with you cuz YOU almost had him killed and now you just gone throw away every other nigga on yo life?"
"No, it's just you. You fucked my life. I don't need you no more."
{flashback over}
-
The warmth from his breath was replaced with an innocent kiss placed behind my ear. He trailed kisses down my jawline then held my face in his hands. Avoiding my eyes, he closed his before he leaned down and matched his lips with mine. My tongue danced around his without a fight, it was pure harmony. His hand slyly slid around my torso until it reached the hem of my shirt — I felt the coarseness of his working hands make contact with my skin as he caressed up my spine removing my shirt, Cole lightly touched my nipples with his bare fingertips while reconnecting our lips. He enclosed two fingers around my left nipple causing a stifled moan to escape. He let out a raspy groan in response.
And just like that, everything stopped. I was confused until the silence between us screamed what we both were thinking. I lead Cole to my room and the activities immediately reconvened. His coarse hands once again roamed my skin touching and caressing my most sensitive parts. Unwilling to let anymore time go by without him inside of me, I removed his crisp white t-shirt and tugged on his black cargo's until he pulled them down.
I retreated to my knees and he placed his right hand on the crown of my head. He stroked his unclothed penis until he was ready for me to take over. When his left hand joined his right on my crown, I opened my mouth and allowed him to guide me. I submitted completely to his masculinity. He didn't force it, he let me adjust and choose the speed and depth. I didn't fool around this time. There was no licking the tip or sliding my tongue up the shaft. There was no flirting, just hunger. I missed him.
I swallowed him whole with no preparation. He fucked my throat just how I like it and I came inside of my drawls without touching my dick at all. This didn't stop the motion of his dick ramming my throat though, he continued fucking me orally until his nut was spilling from the corners of my mouth. I didn't want to risk him leaving before fucking me so I resisted the urge to run to the bathroom and spit it out. Instead I swallowed it and climbed onto the bed.
I laid back and watched him watch me. There was no smile, no grimace, no facial expression at all showed on his face. He walked closer to the bed until he was towering over me. He roughly snatched my drawls down my legs and over my feet. I laid completely naked for him to see, and still nothing. He pulled me by my legs across the bed until I was lined up with the edge of the mattress. He lifted my legs up over his shoulders and lined his unwrapped penis up with my entrance.
He didn't start slow... he went in hard. Once he felt the tip of his dick up against my prostate, he stayed there. He kept pressure on it until I began to squirm.
I gripped the sheets as he pulled out slowly. With only the tip left in, he rammed his dick back in. He repeated this excruciatingly good pattern until I squirmed and squealed and my legs turned to jello.
He flipped me over and I rested on my elbows and knees. He used his forearm to force my back into a more arched position. This time, he used a different rythm. There was no pattern, nothing to look forward to, nothing to expect. It caught me completely by surprise. He pounded the fuck out of me. All you could hear was skin on skin and uneven moans that could reach Gods ears. Unable to keep my mouth closed, drool escaped at the same rate as my precum. My legs, still jelly from the first position gave out but he missed no beat. He laid me on my side and held my leg up. He continued fucking me until he felt he was going to cum. He pulled out and turned me back onto my back. I stroked my dick while I watched him stroke his kneeling over me. We both came on my stomach but he wasn't finished.
He leaned down and kissed me again. He slid his tongue into my mouth and slid two fingers into my ass. He got me hot all over again and then stood up. He looked at me with a strange expression before taking my dick in his hand and stroking it. He laid on his back and I followed his lead by hovering over him. I kissed him and we frotted. He had his hands on my ass cheeks guiding the motion. What happened next surprised the fuck out of me.
Cole took my arm guiding it down between our bodies, surpassing his penis and resting my hand on his asshole. I slid one finger in and he bit down on his lip hard and closed his eyes. He raised his arms up over his head gripping the pillows and relaxed while I fingered him. His hole started to open up for me and I added another finger.... then another until there were three and he was moaning under his breath. I liked seeing him like this. I wanted more, so climbed off of the bed and lifted his legs up above my shoulders placing my head between his legs. His eyes shot open to see what was happening. I made eye contact with him as I licked his hole. His legs began to tremble in anticipation. I licked it once more and added a little kiss. Then I inserted my tongue earning the most sensual sound I've ever heard. Cole was moaning. Like.... moaning moaning.
I inserted a finger while my tongue was still inside him and I tongue fucked him while I fingered him. Then I stood up and lined my unwrapped penis up with his hole. I had no idea what he had been doing in the four months we'd been apart. I don't know if he's been fucked, but I decided to do him the way he did me anyway. I pushed in as hard as I could but he was so tight. I pounded his ass until he was whimpering and moaning and tugging at the sheets. I came inside of him.
At this point, neither of us has spoken to the other. Even while we fucked, not a single word was uttered. I guess he didn't forget what I said to him. I sure didn't forget what he said to me. For all I care, he can still kick rocks. I watched from my bed as he went into my bathroom and washed me off of him. He wiped my scent away, then without a word or a wave goodbye, Cole got dressed and left my apartment.
For a few minutes, I didn't care. I sat in bed, turned on some music, and looked at Instagram. Once I started to feel sticky, I got up pulled my sheets off the bed and threw them in the washing machine. I put clean sheets on the bed and headed to the bathroom to take a shower.
There's something about showers that make you think — I wish that I remembered that before I got in here or I would've opted for a bath instead.
I washed my hair, cleaned my body, and then the tears came. Like a tsunami out of nowhere, the tears just wouldn't stop. My chest heaved, my eyes burned, and the sound of my cries bounced back and forth between the glass door and the tiled walls. I just kept thinking how I could've avoided this feeling. The moment I let him go was on repeat my my head.
"I'm leaving tonight."
"I don't care nigga, go"
"I don't care nigga, go"
"I don't care nigga, go"......
His emotionless expressions, his carelessness with my body, his unwillingness to look me in the eye, FUCK, I did that to him. He wanted me to see what I did to him. That's what he came here for. Right?
Im sitting in the tub now. Im just sitting in the tub letting my emotions run me over like a semi truck when I hear my phone ringing in my bedroom. I couldn't get up to get it, nor did I want to. I let it go to voicemail.
About thirty minutes later, I awakened. I must have cried myself to sleep because I'm still in the tub, curled into a little ball. My mind instantly goes to my youth. After my mother passed, I would crawl into the bathtub calming myself from panic attacks and nightmares in this exact position many, many nights. The coldness of the porcelain was soothing to me. I let the bathroom become my refuge when I had no one to go to.
I now have a pounding headache and I'm hungry as hell. But, I deserve all the pain I'm feeling. Im only reaping what I sowed. Another relationship was slipping away from me and it's all on me.
I force my heavy limbs out of the bathtub and back into my bedroom. I checked my phone to see who had called earlier.