Shut Up & Listen - Chapter 36: Chapter 36

July 04
6:19p
Exiting the bathroom, Lonnie bumped into Cobe who had just come down the stairs. Cobe continued walking as if nothing happened, but Lonnie felt as if this was God giving him a chance to make things right with him, so he followed Cobe and started with, "Cobe, man. How you been?"
"I'm aight. You?" He mumbled, barely giving Lonnie any attention.
"Yeah..."
Cobe walked away quickly turning the corner into the kitchen with Lonnie still in tow. "Um... thanks for the call." He said, standing a few feet away from his first love.
Opening the refrigerator, Cobe deflected with a nonchalant, "Dame called you, not me." while putting all his attention on the shelf that only had one selection of pop. Cobe continued scanning the fridge as if he might find something new.
"I just... look. I-"
"Damn, that's crazy. I only came down here get a pop." Cobe interrupted.
Lonnie messed with the cigarette behind his ear in frustration."So you not even gone let me speak?" He spoke low in his deep voice commanding Cobes attention with his inquiry.
Cobe grabbed a can of Red Faygo pop before He turned around, facing Lonnie, expressionless and cold. The weight of their once cohesive and dependent relationship, now severed and sour, sagged heavy between the two. Neither having the power to lift it , neither knowing how to fix what has been broken but knowing things could never be the same between them, Lonnie wanted nothing more than for Cobe to forgive him for not having the courage to stand up for him when Arthur questioned his intentions. After all, his pops always knew what was best for him.
"I'm sorry that our relationship was trashed because of all that shit... But, Cobe... I had to protect myself." He pleaded, eyes staring deep into Cobes, searching for forgiveness.
"From me?"
"No! You know what, I already explained it to you. But I meant what I said at the hospital. I still mean it. I lov-"
"The fuck is this?" An amused Jah questioned what he saw and might've heard when he strolled into the kitchen. Lonnie hadn't realized how close he had gotten to Cobe until Jah came into the room interrupting their conversation. He stepped back and turned around adjusting his hat — watching Cobe take this opportunity to scurry back to wherever he was hiding at before. Lonnie shrugged his shoulders at his brother while crossing his arms and legs and leaning up against the sink. Jah continued eyeing Lonnie with a rather radiant smile mixed with curiosity and gratification.
"Pops don't believe we over here with Dame." He attempted to change the subject, but there was no way Jah wasn't going to act on the golden opportunity to investigate Lonnies personal life.
"Yeah, me either.." Jah's eager smile was making Lonnie nervous because he knew what was coming next. He'd never come out to his family, but he assumed they'd long figured it out. It was just a matter of time before someone brought it up with him.
"So, 'member when you was sixteen and we was at Cedar Point and I thought I saw you doing something with a nigga but you said I was mistaken? I believed you then, I don't think I do anymore."
"Why you bringing that up?" Curious as to what the connection between the memory and the moment was. "Cuz I think he ain't your friend." Jah pointed his thumb to the hallway referring to Cobe.
"No shit." Lonnie squinted acknowledging the awkwardness between he and Cobe that Jah clearly just witnessed.
"No, dumbass. I'm saying... can you be honest with me for once?"
"Aight, yeah. You was right."
"About the nigga at Cedar Point, blowing you off in the bushes?"
"Fuck you, Jah." They both laughed at his attempt to make an awkward moment light. The two stood in silence for a few seconds reminiscing on both current and past events. Jah looked over from where he was standing up against the fridge on the other side of the kitchen. "So... Cobe?" He raised his brows, eyes glued on his younger brother. Lonnie quietly nodded his head yes earning a simple yet unreadable, "Cool." from Jah. Threre was a silence between the two for a moment. Lonnie knew how Jah felt about Cobe already. He decided to change the subject so Jah wouldn't have much time to dwell on what he just told him.
"I can't believe this shit Jah. He been right here all this time. I don't get how we didn't find him. We didn't look hard enough. He graduated from Cass three years after I did. We were at the same damn school for at least a year.. We didn't try hard enough."
"Detroit is a big ass city. We did try. It don't matter now though right? He's here. He's good."
"No, Jah. You don't know what sick shit goes on in the system. We don't know what he's been in. We don't know what they did to him, Dame could've been safe, with us the whole time. I know it go-"
"Yo, Lonnie." Dame called from the threshold of the kitchen. He jerked his head towards the hall motioning for Lonnie to follow him. Instinctively, Jah followed behind them.
"Damn, Jah." Lonnie threw his hands out signaling him to back off.
"Aight." Jah walked back to the kitchen to grab a cold drink while Lonnie and Dame went in the opposite direction. They walked out of the loft and up the hallway stairs until they reached the door to the roof. Dame lit the joint resting between his fingers and held it out to Lonnie only for it to be rejected.
"I don't smoke weed."
"Oh."
"I smoke cigarettes, been trying to quit though." Dame nodded his head in an understanding manner before letting out an muffled cough into his elbow. Lonnie removed his cigarette from the back of his ear and lit it.
"So..."
"I'm sorry." The older brother blurted out.
"You sorry?"
"Yeah. I feel guilty, man. I don't want you to think I didn't care that you was out there by yourself, Dame."
"Nah, I don't blame you for nothin'. I barely even remember what happened, to be honest with you. I just know that one day I had a family and the next I was being tossed around like I was an orphan. But, I'm fine.. look at me." Dame joked turning in a circle for Lonnie to get a good look at him. He then returned to his place on the wall.
"You don't remember nothin'? You don't know why they took you away?" Lonnie questioned, bewildered by Dame's previous comment.
"Nah, not really. I mean.. I remember little stuff here and there... but nah.I can't remember shit."
"Oh." Lonnie looked across the way inhaling and exhaling slowly, tapping his cigarette to make the ashes fall off.
"Do you?" Dame asked in curiosity. Lonnie shook his head yes in response. The cool July air wished for them to understand eachother, but the years added distance and the lack of memory confused them both. How could Dame not remember the moment that wrecked his life and turned him fatherless? And what was it that made it impossible for Lonnie to forget? The two, angry and hurt for differing reasons, shared a moment on the roof, bonded in newly reclaimed brotherhood.
"What you been up to?" Lonnie asked, changing the subject to something more lighthearted. He hasn't seen his brother since childhood meaning they are virtually strangers.
Wanting to catch him up on everything in the past eleven years seemed impossible, so Dame spelled out how he'd just graduated Summa Cum Laude from Wilberforce University and shared about his success in art and fashion and his connections with his brothers, Cole, Cecil, and Cobe. Once his long winded summary of the past few months was over, he asked Lonnie the same thing.
"I went to College too." Lonnie started before putting his cigarette between his lips for a quick drag. He squinted his eyes as he exhaled the cigarette smoke and continued. "Graduated from Hampton a few years ago. I have a Bachelors in Psychology and Pre-Law, haven't done shit with myself since then though. Couldn't find work when I moved back here so I started... you know." He slightly waved his hand in a manner referring to his participation in the family business... selling drugs. "But now, you know, I'm thinking about going back to school."
"That's what's up, you should do it." Dame nodded his head in a supportive manner.
"You ever been to therapy?"
"Fuck no. If I don't remember shit, I don't even want to know what I don't remember."
"You don't feel the need to release the bottled up shit?"
"Nah, it helps. Being angry, sad, anxious... I'm an artist. I need to feel that shit. Art IS my therapy, nigga."
"Aight, that's cool, I guess." Lonnie shrugged his shoulders.
"You guess? I ain't asking for your approval mister Psychology degree. It is what it is." Dame chuckled to himself, dragging his blunt.
"So that's it huh?"
"What?"
"It is what it is? Que será, será? You just got shit all figured out?" It was strange to Lonnie that someone with such a dark past could be both angry and content, almost bordering Peace, at the same time.
"I'm good where I'm at. I got everything I need. I got a stable income, a lady who I think imma marry. I got a family, they ain't blood... but it don't really matter. I think that even if you decide you don't want to take me back as your brother, I'd be straight. I'm that good." Lonnie took a long drag from his cigarette blowing it out with a disappointed expression he tried and failed to hide. "And if you do wanna be brothers.... I'd be cool with that too. But no pressure, big dawg." Dame patted Lonnie on the shoulder, suddenly noticing the scar. He made a mental note to ask Cobe more about the incident later.
"You cool as fuck, you know that?" Lonnie smiled. He was impressed by Dame's demeanor. He wasn't spiteful or angry, he took his situation and came out a fucking winner. That shit is impressive.
"Hell yeah, I know that shit, baby." Dame smiled his signature toothy, bright smile forcing his eyes away from the scar on Lonnie's shoulder.
"You haven't changed much. You been like this ever since you could talk."
"How you remember when I started talking?"
"Aight, I'm exaggerating, but I remember all the shit we used to do together... the jokes, the pranks, you remember momma?"
"No... I just know she's dead." Dame said, solemnly, suddenly realizing that there was a lot of shit his mind wouldn't let him recall. It's weird how that one question made him rethink wether or not his lack of memory was actually a good thing.
"She died when you were six. While in labor with our sister... Ajané. Her name was Luna."
"What did she look like?"
"She has dark skinned. Her eyes were golden brown... they almost looked scary sometimes if you looked at them too long. Her smile was big and she had the whitest sparkliest teeth, she was a really happy person. Her hair was short... always cut low. She always wore yellow. All the photos of her that I've seen she's wearing yellow or gold and she always had this pin on her shirt... a poodle."
"She sounds beautiful."
"She was."
"What ever happened to Ajané?"
"I haven't seen her since the last time we were all together. Auntie Kiel, momma's cousin, has custody of her.. took her to Arizona a few years after we got taken away. She didn't adopt her though."
"You adopted?"
"Yeah... Maverik's brother, MacArthur, adopted me when I was fourteen."
"So how did I get so lost if niggas was getting custody and shit? Ain't nobody want a nappy headed little boy or sumn? Was I a Bebe kid or sumn? I had to have been bad as hell."
"Nah, you was a good kid. CPS took you straight from the hospital though. You really don't remember?"
"No. I'm hella confused right now."
"Nobody from the family was allowed near you, said it was conspiracy or neglect or some shit. They took you straight from the hospital and nobody ever saw you again. I swear I don't even know how Maverik found you."
"What happened to me? Why don't I remember?"
"Alcohol poisoning. You was unconscious in the house, during a cookout. And nobody even knew, you was out for hours. Somebody found you in the basement and called an ambulance... the police showed up..."
"The fuck? How the fuck I get a hold of that much shit in the first place?"
"Exactly. And that's why CPS took us away. Only reason MacArthur and Kiel was able to get custody of us was because they were estranged from the family."
"Damn, we ain't have a third estranged uncle or somebody?" Dame joked, throwing the butt of his finished blunt on the ground.
"I don't know how you taking this shit so lightly."
"Let's go back in... we gone have to leave soon. Cole gotta work tonight."
•••
"Where Cole?" Dame asked noticing that the room was much quieter.
"He left. Said he had to go to work." Jah replied.
"It's early as hell. That nigga ain't go to no work." Dame sucked his teeth, knowing Cole probably was out doing some shit he shouldn't be.
"Cobe left with him too. Said he was gonna drop him off at home then go to work." Jah added.
"Aight, well... I guess we should leave then too." Lonnie suggested.
"You wanna meet my pops, cuz?" Jah asked Dame.
"Nah, not today man. I just need to process all this shit. But let's meet up one day soon tho."
Dame accepted the phone that was passed to him from Lonnie. He saved his number in the phone and called himself so he'd have his brother's number. He returned the phone then bro-hugged both men before walking them to the door. As soon as the men were out, he locked the door and started cleaning up Cole's living room. His phone dinged alerting him of a text that had just come thru. Dame pulled down the notification bar so it wouldn't send a read receipt.
- unknown - Damon, it's Reece. I got your number from my dads phone.
Dame read the message from the notification bar and sat on the loveseat contemplating wether he wanted to respond. Why would Maverik's son be reaching out to him now? Dame decided to text the number back but not before shooting a message to his girlfriend, Sadé. He couldn't wait to tell her what happened today.
Text Message to Sadé
- Dame - baby, call me when you get a chance.
Text Message to Reece
- Dame - wassup
- unknown - I need your help. Can you meet me at the school?
- Dame - idk man, what's going on?
- unknown - please. I can't talk to my dad. He'll kill me
Dame rolled his eyes at the extraness of the message but decided to help the kid out anyway. He agreed to meet him and finished putting the food up and throwing away the empty bottles, cups, and plates that were scattered around the tables in the living room.
•••
Text message between Dame & Reece
- Dame - I'm here. Wya
- Unknown - parking lot. Football field
Dame drove around to the back of the high school where he saw Reece standing beside an iced out All Black matte sports car. He got out the car, walking around to the passenger side to be face to face with Reece. "This you?" Dame questioned, impressed. "Yeah, was a birthday gift." Dame looked away quickly suppressing the urge to respond and simply asked, "what's going on with you?"
"My girlfriend is pregnant. I don't know what to do. I'm only sixteen." Reece started with hella stress laced in his voice and body language.
"The fuck age got to do with it? Sex makes babies, period. What's her name?"
"Her name is Leah"
"And what does Leah want to do?"
"She wants to keep it, but I-"
"You don't get to decide, Reece. You made your decision, this part is her decision." Dame said sternly ensuring the message would be heard and understood clearly.
"So what am I supposed to do?"
"Why you text me? You don't have no big brother or older cousins?" Dame questioned. The openness with him is making him feel weird mostly because this is the first time they've talked and only the second time they've ever seen eachother.
"I just thought... since you don't really know me maybe you wouldn't judge me so bad." He looked at me, then at the sky "And I kinda.... I wanted to meet you. I know my dad pissed you off the first time we met even though we didn't actually get to meet... I've always wanted an older brother."
"Well today is your lucky day because you have two!" Dame imitated a game show hosts voice making his own self laugh.
"Shut the front door!" Reece added to the joking mood.
"Nah keep that bitch open, let the truth come in and have a seat!" Dame said swinging his arm.
"I'm dead, bro." The younger boy said with a toothy grin on his face. His gaze went up to meet mine before falling back to the ground.
"You the only kid?"
"My mom has two more, Kwame and Khalil." I nodded my head imagining this scared little boy as a big brother. Then my mind ran to Cecil. Remembering his relationship with his family and what happened when Cecil got a girl pregnant. Reece seem like the type to pull some Cecil type shit and I'll be damned if another nigga abandons his family, disappointing his father over something so miniscule.
"Reece man, secrets are no good. Them muh fuckas will eat you up... just tell your folk. When you're ready... doesn't have to be tonight, but make sure you tell them before somebody else does." He looked down at the ground. I could tell he was mulling over what I said. Then the boy smiled and looked up at me as if he'd just figured something out.
"You're the Dame that Cobe talks about, aren't you?" He asked.
"Yeah, bruh. What type shit he be saying?"
"He makes you sound like a freaking legend bro. I don't know how you came out on top like that. I would've given up long long ago, man. Not too many people are strong like you."
"That's my brother man. But you should know, it's never easy. Even coming from a good suburban two parent upper class family, a nigga still gotta push and prod to make shit shake. Never forget that."
"I just don't get it, how can my dad just go on with life knowing he has kids out there? Like he's just so freaki-"
"Aye, that's still your father. I know a lot of fathers who make huge mistakes but that didn't make them bad human beings, or any less of a man. Nobody is perfect bruh. I seen a lot of shit, man. Don't you ever give up on your father, on your family, or on yourself... it's always a way to get through, you just gotta be willing to find it.." He nodded to my advice.
"So.. how do I tell my dad about my kid?"
"Well... how far along is she?"
"Five months."
"Dayum! And y'all just figuring that shit out?"
"I am. She said she's known for a while but she was scared to tell me. So, I just found out tonight at the cookout."
"Yo, that's tough."
"What do I do?"
"She told her parents yet?"
"No."
"Maybe y'all should do it together. Show a united front. If shit don't work out, call me."
"Thank you. I'm gonna call Leah as soon as we leave. I'm sorry that this is how we met, man. I really can't believe I have two more brothers."
"And a sister. One year older than you. She's not in Detroit though."
"A sister? What's her name? And the other brother."
"Ajané. She's seventeen. And Lonnie. He's twenty six."
"Wow."
"Yeah, nigga. We gone have to have a family reunion or something, man. But I don't think Lonnie really fucks with ya pops."
"We need Iyanla."
"Oh shit, that's on mamas."
"What does that mean?"
"It's like saying on God, or I swear."
"Alright. That's cool."
"You go to private school?"
"Yeah... I did until we moved out here. Now I'm moving to Cass when school starts."
"Why he got y'all over here in the hood?"
"He retired."
"Damn. Y'all couldn't got to Florida or some shit?" The two sat in the parking lot of Cass Technical High School for hours just having casual conversation while watching the hood fireworks being set off all around the area. Both shocked at how much they have in common, the night grew colder and darker before they made their separate ways home around eleven pm. Dame was satisfied with the nights events... two brothers.... how was he going to sleep tonight?