Shut Up & Listen - Chapter 40: Chapter 40

After Cole and I finished our 'session', I went up the street to get a few things from the corner store. I saw one of Mo's niggas in there but didn't make any note of it until I left the store and was stopped by the image of Mohammed stepping out of a tan Ford F-150 pick up truck. He noticed me instantly and and smiled putting his hand up acknowledging me. "Aye, Kwabe... lemme holla atchu." He yelled across the small parking lot, ensuring that I'd hear him. I walked over, hesitantly, and stood in front of him as he leaned up against his door. He looked me over and licked his lips. We all know where my mind went upon seeing that, but my memory holds more weight than my hormones so...
"I was wondering' how you been handlin' all that shit that went down. I know you take shit hard sometimes." He watched me while figgeting with some tangled up headphones and charger chords he just pulled out of his pocket.
"Why you feel so comfortable to just come up to me?."
"You came up to me Kwabe..." he smiled with his tongue stuck between his bottom teeth and lip. "Plus it'd be weird if I saw you and ain't speak, right?"
"A simple 'hey' is fine though."
"Only when things are simple. Which in our case... it's not."
"Okay?"
"So will you tell me?"
"What?"
"How you been doin'." He watched me, paying close attention to my silence."You don't wanna talk to me... I understand. I just wanted to-" I cut him off.
"I haven't really thought about it. I prefer not to relive shit like that."
"Oh." Mo put one foot up against the truck, nodding his head while looking everywhere but at me.
"What?"
"I just wonder if you thought about about how what happened effected me? Not to be selfish or nun, just honestly... have you?"
I just looked at him, guiltily. Because I didn't think about him. Not when he was stabbed, not when Cole arrived, not after I learned that Lonnie was gonna be okay... I only cried for Lonnie... I only visited Lonnie in the hospital... I didn't even call to check on Mo... I called to ask if he'd slept with Jill while we were together. The guilt and the pity bore heavily in my expression. I looked away hoping that either he'd change the subject or that I'd get my feet to unglue themselves from the concrete so I could just walk away. But neither happened.
Mo pulled up his shirt revealing his scar on his abdomen. He ran his fingers over the keloided scar and watched me. "It wasn't that deep since Black is an amateur, and only did it out of fear instead of intent..." He looked down at it again and continued, "none of my organs were bothered but he almost broke through my abdomen wall. Docta' say a few mo' centimeters deep and I would be carrying a bag on my side collecting my shit and pee." He put his shirt down and leaned back up against the truck. He folded his arms and licked his lips again.
"You still fuck wit him?" He questioned me.
"Nah... ion really fuck with nobody now, actually."
"So you just shut ya self off from the world? You know life has to go on, right?"
"I don't want no new people in my life."
"Then what about your old friends."
"You?"
"Yeah, me. I miss you... in a non sexual way. You was really my homie forreal."
"What you saying?"
"I'm sayin' ... come chill wit me, sometime. I know it won't be like old times... but shit, I just miss having you around."
"Oh. You probably forgot why I stopped messing witchu then."
"Nah, I remember. And that shit was dumb. I know that. I got too heated and you became just anotha nigga instead of my nigga and I crossed the line."
"You not gone say sorry?"
"Nah. Why would I say sorry? That shit not gone make you feel better, I know you. My sorry won't mean shit."
It was a small interval of silence between us because he was right. Mo knows me too fucking well to be a stranger.
"I noticed you stopped going to therapy. Actually, I haven't seen you around at all." He picked up the conversation, obviously not wanting to let me go yet.
"You stalking me?"
"Nah.... I got a job now. A real one. Gettin' too old for that hustlin' shit. Decided to put my education to good use. My place of business just so happens to be in the area where ya doctors office is. I used to see you going in when I was coming out for my break. But I don't see you no more. I hope you got a good reason."
"I don't need a reason. And I fasho don't need to give you one."
"That's fair. I just. I just wanna make sure you okay."
"I'm fine."
"You used to tell me about the shit going on in ya head, remember that?"
"Yeah."
"So who you telling it to now?"
"My blunt, why?"
The door to the corner store opened triggering the ringing bell hanging from ceiling on the inside. Both of us looked over to see Mo's brother, Killa Kel, walking out with another nigga I've never seen before. He nodded his head at them and said to me,
"Imma leave you to it, then. I don't wanna take up any mo' time from ya day." before opening the door to his truck and hopping in. He pulled off with one of his niggas' mixtapes breaking the speakers.
I stood there for a second asking God why the fuck he would have this nigga come up to me asking sincere ass questions about my mental health and shit. Fuck that nigga. Is what I said with my chest... but I can't help but wonder how it would feel to be in his company again.
______________________________
I walked up to Dame's house and his car was already there. I made a mental note and went into the house.
"So you saying, this baby is yours?" I heard Cole ask Dame with mad confusion in his voice. I shut the door following their voices into the kitchen where I found Cole, Dame, and a girl I've never seen before. "What's up, with y'all?" I inquired, dropping my bags on the chair beside me.
"Cobe! Cobe, this is my girlfriend, Sadé. Sadé, this is my bro, Cobe." Dame exclaimed excitedly.
"Nice to meet you." She and I said in unison.
"You the father?" I asked, taking notice of the potruding belly of Sadé. I riskily assumed she was pregnant because beside her belly, she was fit. I took note of what she had on, a cut off shirt thing and joggers? Dame always goes for a certain type of girl, hood bitches with attitude but a good head on her shoulders and not broke. I haven't known Sadé for more than thirty seconds so I can't yet tell if she's the same or not.
"Duh nigga! The fuck I look like?" He replied to me assuring that he is the father.
"Congrats bro. How far along are you, shorty?"
"Lil Obediah is due in October." She spoke in a thick Brooklyn accent through heavily glossed lips spread thin in a smile. I nodded, very old school southern grandfather, but it's alright.
"That shit soft, Dame." Cole disagreed from the counter where he was sitting. "How about Rakeem, Lorenzo, Khalil, or uh I don't know Cole? Matter fact why the fuck he ain't gone be a junior?"
"He's named after my grandfather." Sadé defended.
Cole leaned forward grabbing a fry from the pan on the stove and said, "Oh, well we calling that lil nigga Obe then cuz that's a long ass name."
"Nigga, yo last name is fucking Adebanjo." Dame laughed at Cole's rhetoric.
"And you don't hear niggas calling me that shit either do you?"
"Nigga, you du-" he cut himself off before completing the word dumb. Noted. I decided to change the subject before Cole tried to react to the incomplete offense. "What y'all up to tonight? Y'all just chillin or what?"
"Yeah, probably just chilling for a bit." Dame responded, holding Sadé around her waist. I watched them interact and almost rolled my eyes, but I decided to just look away instead.
"You tell Oz yet?" I asked Dame, curious as to who else knows about lil Obe. The way niggas in our circle keep secrets, I figured Cole and I are the first to know.
"Nah, I guess I should though."
"What about ya new daddy?" I teased, knowing damn well he ain't tell that deadbeat nigga shit.
"Nigga, shut up! And no I ain't tell his ass. But I did want to tell y'all that I met up with his son, Reese, on the fourth. I think you should meet him Cole. He's chill."
"I'm good." Cole nonchalantly replied, sipping from his cup.
"Why you acting like that?" Dame asked, instantly switching into defense mode.
"Really, Dame? In front of company?" I called him out, pointing out Sadé's presence. I honestly feel bad for Cole because I know he be trying, I been around more than Dame has so I can see the effort and the growth. All Dame sees is his fuck ups. It ain't like he got many niggas who matter cheering him on like Dame has. For what Cole has in his pockets, he's doing the best he can. Dame need to step off 'fore Cole leave his ass alone forreal. I ain't gone lie, I'm surprised he's even talking to me now after the shit I said to him. Cole looked down at his yeezy covered feet dangling above the tiled floor and started biting on his thumb nail. He was quiet for a few seconds before he removed his thumb from his mouth. "I'm going home." Cole retorted, visibly through with Dame.
"Nah, that's too close to Jemaika crib. You staying here." Dame said, sternly, obviously making Cole feel some type of way.
"Hell nah. Imma just have to crash at Oz house then, cuz I'm not staying here wichu." Cole responded with an irritation evident in his tone.
"Why you can't just stay here?" Dame asked, innocently.
"Cuz you just doing to fucking much for me, damn." Cole mumble yelled.
"Aight. Go ahead then. But imma be over there in the morning. I gotta talk to Oz anyway." Cole rolled his eyes at Dame's comment.
"Well, I ain't gone be around when you get there."
"Where you gone be?"
"Nigga, get off my dick! You mind ya lil business or whatever and let me mind mine. Dayum." He motioned to Sadé's pregnant belly and Dame's hand holding it.
"Nigga, please. The fuck you so mad for?" Cole just shook his head hopping off of the counter. He took a pack of cigarettes out his pocket and started walking towards me. When the fuck this nigga start smoking cigarettes? He pulled one out, placing it in the corner of his mouth and walked past me mumbling "Imma be outside, C." to me as he walked out of the kitchen.
Dame stayed silent, avoiding the temptation to follow Cole like he usually would. I think his girl being here is what's making Dame put on this innocent act because he knew for damn sure he was pissing Cole off. I decided to stay in the kitchen with them and talk for a while after I called Kofi and told him to grab the truck keys from my room and pick me and Cole up from Dame's house. Dame wasn't speaking much, but it's cool cuz I needed to know more about his girl anyway. She seemed cool.