Shut Up & Listen - Chapter 42: Chapter 42

July 17
2:49 am
Cole
I got off the elevator in my floor and saw someone sitting beside my door. I walked slowly towards my apartment very cautiously being that crazy ass shit be happening at three in the morning. The closer I got, I recognized the style of dress — the folded up knitted hat, the wife beater... the cigarette behind his ear— and concluded it might be Kwabena's ex nigga slash Dame's big brother, aka my replacement, Lonnie. I rolled my eyes and let out a long breath not in the mood to be bothered by anyone. He looked up at me and started to rise from his seated position on the ground as I grew closer to my door. I looked him over but turned my attention to the door after noticing he still was watching me.
"Whatchu doing here? It's late as hell."
"I just wanna talk."
"About what? Dame ain't here."
"Can I come in?" I nodded my head toward the door after unlocking it and Lonnie followed me in. "So what's good? Three in the morning is always a weird time for me."
"It's the only time I could get out without Jah being on my ass. Nigga think imma get killed if I'm out his sight for one second." He explained. I just looked at him like 'okay, and?'.  He followed behind me to the kitchen. I washed my hands in the kitchen sink while he leaned up against the counter beside me. He was watching me until he began to talk. I guess he knew I'd be uninterested in what was coming next.
"I haven't been able to talk to Cobe... or see him -"
"He don't want you to do that anyway." I cut him off, not wanting to be coerced into feeling sorry for this nigga after the way he left my homie. We ain't cool.
"We got a problem or sumn?" He asked me. I just looked at him trying to find his motives. Don't he know what kinda shit he caused around here? I guess it's impossible for him to know that I was in the room when he told Cobe to leave him alone. I guess it's also impossible for him to know how tore up Cobe was and still is about it. I guess it's also impossible for him to know that me and Cobe stopped talking for almost six months because of him. It's weird as hell for him to be coming around, right?
"why you here instead of Dame house?" I questioned him, thinking he'd rather be with his brother who he hasn't seen since childhood. But nah, he's over here disturbing my peace.
"Do I have to have a reason to come chill witchu?"
"At three o fucking clock in the morning, yes. It's the witching hour... ion trust that shit."
Lonnie scratched the crown of his head through his hat and looked around with his head down. His eyes found me again and he decided to finally answer my simple ass question.
"I'm Just tired of the same people every day." He huffed and started to count off his fingers. "It's just my daddy and Jah, niggas that work for my pops, niggas who work for Jah, then it's Cobe... who I'm not even allowed to be around no more... so you the only non family non affiliated nigga I know. So get used to having me around, bruh."
I decided not to debate him on what he said because I'm lowkey in the same boat. Ion really trust nobody... so ion have too many friends outside of my brothers and Cobe's cousins. I got my baby Jemaika too, whom I haven't seen since I left the house with Dame and Cobe that day. I mean we talk on the phone ALOT... but something feels different about us now... anyway...Everybody else is just acquaintances... but I still don't really fuck with them niggas either. I gathered my snacks and a drink in preparation to watch a lil movie before I go to bed, which I won't be able to do until this random ass nigga decides to leave. I don't mind his company though.
Lonnie entered the living room before I did and went straight for the olive green easy chair up against the window. Everybody goes there first, but I don't like for anyone to sit there... that's my pops' chair. I came into the room just as his knees were bending to match his height to the level of the cushion. "Don't sit there.!" I spoke quickly, stopping him in his tracks. He looked confused but didn't ask me why. I pointed to the loveseat and he followed my silent direction to the less meaningful resting place.
I sat on the larger couch, and put my legs up. The tv was already on. I usually leave it playing because I want people to always think I'm home... it prevents niggas from plotting on me... especially when I'm out for days at a time. I leave a few lights on too.
You know how BET will play the same movie for a week straight? It'll be like Brown Sugar or Daddy's Little Girls..,Well, this time it's Baby Boy... I done watched this shit three times in the past month yet here I am letting this shit play again. The part where Ving Rhames was licking Jody on his head
was on and it reminded me of this nasty ass nigga I had to live with for a few months as a kid. He used to do weird ass shit like that just to piss me off. I was small as fuck back then, but now... If I ever see that mutha fucka on the streets, I'm spazzin' on his ass. I let out a long breath and looked over to the loveseat to see Lonnie already watching me.
"Damn, You got hella tats." I though aloud, looking at his exposed arms.
He nodded.
"They mean sumn?" I asked him while adjusting my position on the couch to face him.
"Nah, not really. I just covering these ugly ass scars wit coo shit."
"Scars? From what, foster care?"
He shook his head. "Didn't end up in the system for more than about a month."
"So you get the from fights or sumn?"
"Yeah. Mostly.."
"You really be fighting that much?" I asked, skeptically.
"Well... I got to. A lot of niggas don't like me cuz of who my family is... since everybody scared of my pops and they know Jah will kill a muh fucka on sight... I'm the one niggas come for. I'm the youngest and I'm usually by myself... I'm a easy target. But it's not usually as bad as what you saw at Cobe pops house. My mind was distracted." I don't know if I believe that he don't get jumped a lot. But then again, if his family is really that bad, I assume he would usually have back up, right?
"Why you be by yaself then if you know niggas be out for you?"
He shrugged his shoulders... "I'm not really a people person." He said nonchalantly. "But my pops always got niggas posted too, so I don't really be ALL alone." He added. I opened my mouth to ask where his pops goons was when he got jumped by Mo's niggas, but he spoke first."Imma have to cover this new one up when it's healed good enough. I seen this dope ass design on google. I gotta see if my mans can do it though." He fingers the scar on the front of his shoulder. "You know the bullet went all the way thru my shoulder? Went through the front came out the back.. missed the bone though.. thank God."
"Can I see?" I got up and stood in front of him hovering as he scrunched the strap of this wife beater closer to his neck to give me a better view, but the large tattoo over his neck line caught my attention... "What's this one?" I asked pointing to the tip of a tattoo visible just above the collar of his wife beater. I looked at it and asked to see it. He removed his shirt revealing skin almost completely covered in tattoos, my heart sank. "Damn." Was all that I allowed to escape my lips. I descended from my standing position to a crouched one in front of him to have a better view of his inked over naked upper body.
"Aye... didn't you get stabbed in the back?" I questioned hoping he'd show me the scar from the knife wound.
"What the fuck?" He asked defensively. I was confused because I didn't think I'd said anything rude.. so I rephrased.
"Somebody stabbed you right? In the back, right?"
"Oh shit." He chuckled. "Yeah I did. I thought you was saying I got stabbed in the back... by Cobe." He was laughing but I wasn't finding shit funny.
"Why would I say some shit like that? Is that what you think? Ion know about all the shit that happened between y'all but I know he ain't set you up... how could you even say that about hi-" He cut me off waving his hand.
"I know that... I just... a lot of muh fuckas been sayin' that shit to me. So I just assumed that was what you meant." He explained himself, but I wasn't hearing that shit. How you just let yo niggas think like that when you know better than to think you can't trust Cobe. I ignored his response because I wasn't tryna hurt this niggas feelings... even tho he'd deserve it if I did.
I got up and returned to my resting place on the couch. It was quiet in the room besides the movie and some niggas racing cars outside. We watched the rest of the movie in silence. I didn't even glance at him once, hoping he'd just decide to leave but even when the movie ended, he was still sitting on the couch... comfortable... legs all wide, head nestled into the back of the couch... arms spread out on either side of his head and his shirt was still off. I looked him over avoiding the nagging thought that this counts as checking him out. I don't do that shit. I don't check niggas out. That shit is gay.
I tore my eyes away from him and grabbed the remote. It's nearing 4:30am now and this nigga still hanging around. I flipped through the channels looking for something else to watch. Nothing was on really so I went to Netflix to find something. The 'dun dun' sound woke him up from his lil nap and he groaned. I looked over at him but his eyes were still closed. "If you that tired, why you still here?"
"Damn. If you want me to leave just say so, nigga."
"I want you to leave."
"I'm not ready to go yet." He mumbled changing his position from sitting up to laying on his stomach on the loveseat. He grabbed a pillow to cushion his head and faced the back of the couch. I watched him and my eyes traveled from his flexed back down to his ass. I shook my head and got up from the couch going to the bathroom. I sat on the toilet and took a little baggie of pills out my pants pocket that I got from Kofi party. Some nigga gave it to me and I only took one at the party because I ain't know what it would do to me. I had two left. I decided to just take one so I don't be tweaking while Lonnie over here. I flushed the toilet even though I ain't use the bathroom, but I gotta paint a picture that I was in here pissing. When I got back, he was still laying down, but he was awake and flipping through the movie options on Netflix.
"What kinda shit you be on?" He asked me before I could even get comfortable on the couch. I looked at him, confused as to why he would ask me that shit. It's almost like he could read my mind or something.
"I'm a drug dealer... I know an addict when I see one. So what is it?" Lonnie said, this time looking right at me. I rolled my eyes and leaned back on the couch before sucking my teeth.
"You've seen me bout two times nigga. Who the fuck are you to ask me some shit like that as if you fuckin' know who the fuck I am." He just looked at me for a few seconds then resumed flipping thru Netflix. He turned on She's Gotta Have It, the newer version. I prefer the old one cuz it has more titties, but hey, Spike Lee did his thang on both of them.
"You and Cobe close?" I rolled my eyes at his question... Duh nigga!
"Why you keep askin' me 'bout that nigga?
"You and Dame close then?"
"Why you questioning me?"
"I'm curious about chu. I'm tryna figure you out." He was still laying down on his stomach and he wasn't even looking at me when he spoke.
"Wh what you mean curious?" Shit, why the fuck my voice sound all nervous and shit? He smiled at me but didn't respond or look my way. His eyes were glued to the sex scene on the tv, so I left it at that and returned my attention to the movie on the screen but for some reason I couldn't focus on it. A few minutes later, he started asking me questions again.
"Do Cobe tell you stuff?"
"No. He secretive as hell."
"So y'all not that close?" He asked suggestively, making me feel some type of way. I looked at him and we made eye contact for only a couple seconds before he turned back to the tv. I played with the curls on the back of my head trying not to overthink the question. It was quiet between us up until the end of the first episode and he sat up from his laying position and looked at me.
"You the reason I'm still alive... you also the reason I get to see my brother again... I owe you." He said sincerely.
"You don't owe me shit. It was nothing. All I did was call ya pops... and all I did was tell Dame I heard yo name before... I ain't do nun special bruh."
"I know it don't seem like it to you... but it feels different from this side man. You was a complete stranger... shiii we still don't know eachother, yet you've been there for me on more occasion than some of my own family." I just nodded, accepting his words.
"I heard you got a college degree." I asked, setting the conversation up for my next question. He just nodded his head 'yeah' confirming that he does.
"Then why you sell" I followed up.
"Same reason you buy." He answered, simply... not really answering my question.
"Ion buy. Never had to pay for shit." I said, lowkey proud.
"Then how you know what you gettin'?" He asked, in a serious but curious tone.
I thought about it for a second, but only because I'd never thought about it before. It was a good question... Then my mind went blank and I realized that I really don't know what the fuck I be on half the time... I REALLY don't know where it be coming from either. As long as it gets me high I'll take it or smoke it or snort it or drink it or whatever I gotta do for it to reach my bloodstream... I shrugged my shoulders.
"Don't really give a fuck" seeped out of my mouth as a nonchalant mumble.
Lonnie turned his head towards me, attempting to make eye contact but I avoided it by grabbing the remote and flipping through the recommended movies that popped up after the show went off. He sucked his teeth.
"That don't give a fuck shit will have ya heart exploding from some fake shit a dumbass cooked up in they kitchen." Lonnie said, with stern undertones in his otherwise blasé voice. He was still gazing in my direction. I ignored him while browsing through Netflix. I went back to cable tv, scrolling until I settled on a re-run of Maury Polvich. I used to think it was crazy that these women could be so surprised when they nigga say something stupid like, ' I'm actually a girl.'. Like bitch you had sex with that mutha fucka. But shit, niggas around me be having all types of secrets too so nothing surprises me anymore. Even shit I used to think was crazy seems normal to me now.
It's like five minutes later but I finally put together that cocaine and heroin is what niggas be cooking on the stove. All of a sudden 'Nigga I don't do crack' came to mind. That's a good ass comeback... I should say that shit out loud.
"Nigga, ion do crack." I said confidently but it didn't sound the same as it did in my head. He started laughing and I laughed too... what the fuck did I take? The fact that I didn't know made me laugh harder. Oh fuck, now he think I'm a damn crackhead.
Even though he was laughing, I could see the same look in his eye that Cobe be having... the smile dropped from my face and my laughter subsided. I studied his face trying to decipher if his eyes were telling me what I thought they were.
"If you coming around on that don't do drugs shit you can go to hell like everybody else." I said simply and without emotion.
"That ain't why I'm here." Lonnie said before answering his vibrating phone. I think it was Jah because he started putting his shirt back on and his shoes. He grabbed his keys and started walking towards the door. He hung up his call and turned around to face my direction.
"Imma head out, Cole. 'Preciate chu for letting me chill witchu."
"Ain't nun, bruh." After that, he walked out of my front door. I bet Cobe would hate me forreal if he found out me and Lonnie is cool. Oh well.