Shut Up & Listen - Chapter 67: Chapter 67

Next morning
August 5
Quincy
There was a knock at the door sometime after nine in the morning that woke me up. I was sleep on Kwabena's couch when I heard it. I got up when he didn't come out of the room, and answered the door. It was a young woman with locs.
"Hey, is Cobe here?" She asked in the sweetest voice if ever heard on a woman. I nodded and let her in.
"I'm Quincy." I said, locking the door back. She put her hand out.
"Cheyenne." She said, shaking my hand. "I've never seen you around before."
"I'm not around. Its a special occasion." I said and she raised her eyebrows, looking me up and down. I shook my head.
"I never seen you around either, sis." I said, walking to the couch, taking a seat which got a weird reaction from her. "What?"
"So, where is he?"
"He had a rough night, I don't want to wake him up yet."
"Oh, is he okay?"
"No." I said.
"Okay? Well, I guess I'll go check on him."
"I really think you should just let him rest though. He could at least get that."
"That felt like shade but it certainly couldn't be since you don't know me?" She whipped her head around.
"I'm just saying. Where's all his folks right now? I'm the only one here."
"And where am I?"
"Yeah, and I don't even know who you are to him. All the niggas he be so worried about aren't even here when he needs them."
"You sound angry." She said, ignoring what I said and walking into the back of the apartment.
"Who-" Cobe asked, coming down the hallway, "Oh. What up Chey. What you doing here?" He asked, side hugging her.
"Cobe, is something wrong? Your eyes are all puffy." She examined him, turning his face from side to side. "Have you been crying?"
"Nah, I'm alright. You okay?" He asked, nonchalantly.
"Yeah. I was just coming over because I wanted to take you to breakfast."
"Huh?" He laughed. Looking from her to me. "Why?"
"Well. My girl is out of commission right now, so I'm all alone. And you're the only other person I'm cool with so."
"Sadé? She went back home?"
"No, she's still in the city. She went into labor and can't have anymore visitors until after she delivers because she's high risk. But, I spent all day with her yesterday. Anyway, now that my baby boy has made friends at the Rec Center, I don't have anything to do during the day anymore. Me and Sadé usually just ki-ki all day long. So, now I have to come bug you until I can see her again."
"Oh. Yeah, Cole called me last night about it. I don't know how I forgot. When did she go into labor?"
"Last night. Well this morning really, like around 1 am. But, her water broke yesterday morning."
Cobe shook his head. He chuckled, "Wow, life be moving fast, for real." He mumbled walking back to his room.
Me and Cheyenne looked at each other. I could see the hesitation in her movements, she wanted to follow him and ask more questions, but she went with the less problematic option. Ask me questions. "So. Are you Cobe's boyfriend?" She cheesed.
"No."
"Why? You're cute."
"I'm not gay."
"I knew Cobe was gay within two minutes of meeting him. My gaydar is strong. Lie again."
"How long have you been a mother? You have that look down, I felt like I was about to get smacked just from you looking at me."
"Seven years. I've had a lot of practice."
"Your kid is seven? Damn, how old are you?"
"Shut Up, I'm only twenty-five."
I leaned up on the couch, taking a deep breath. I looked down the hall to make sure his door was closed then, looked back at her, eager to get help. "Okay, so I feel like he's gonna be too worried about what you think of him to tell you what's going on. So, I'm gonna tell you. But, only because I don't know how to help him and well, you're here."
"Okay." She said, looking determined. I spent the next five or so minutes explaining the whole situation, as far as I've been told by Cobe.
"And now he doesn't know if Mo is dead or alive. But, he thinks his ex, who he never was official with, is the one who did it. But don't repeat that part, ever. I'm not a snitch."
"Got it. So what do we do?"
"That's why I told you! You're supposed to tell me what to do."
"I think we should go to his house. Show up as 'friends' to see what's going on." She suggested, using air-quotes around the word friends.
"No. That doesn't— no."
"Why?"
"From what I know... Mo is veryyyy? I don't know how to put it."
"What? He on the DL?"
"Yes, but not that."
"Then what?"
"Well. I think he wouldn't want Cobe to come."
"Why?"
"They have a complicated relationship."
""Okay, Imma need more. You're giving me crumbs? And I need at least a slice to figure this shit out."
"So. Him and Mo been on and off for a few years. But, I just kind of feel like Cobe might be more into Mo than Mo is into Cobe."
"So that's how you feel?" Cobe said from around the corner.
"Co."
"Nah, cuz you never said that shit to me before. How you feel comfortable saying that to her."
"You would never hear it from me if I said it."
"You don't even know him."
"Aight."
"Nah, it ain't all right nigga. What else you been wanting to say?"
"Nothing".
"Nah, let it out."
"No. I'm not doing that, Co. You need to just chill. Go get ready so we can go to breakfast with Cheyenne."
"We? Nigga, she ain't invite you."
"You can come if you want."
"Nope. It's all good, sis. This is how it works with him. I'm only around when nobody else is. Once he got his friends back, then he escorts me out of his life until his next crisis. Imma do what I'm asked and bounce, but don't expect me to keep playing mother and father to you after this Co. I'm not gone keep letting you use me."
"I use you?"
"I feel like we've already had this discussion, Kwabena. Let's stop pretending to be confused every time I say it."
"Fine, if you wanna leave like everybody else, go ahead. I don't need nobody. Matter fact, Chey you can leave too. How about both of y'all go have brunch together and leave me the hell alone."
"That's funny."
"It's real funny that I would be the one you say that too when unlike every fucking body else I come for you even after you leave me over and over and over. You're lucky to have me. I'm the only person in your life that understands you and you know that shit, Co. stop always pushing me away before I can't be bothered to fight you on it."
"I can't make you do nothing or be anywhere you don't want to be."
"You don't get it, huh? I love your stupid ass. And I'm not fucking leaving you when you need me."
"I don't need you. I don't need nobody."
"Like I said, I'm not leaving here."
"Good idea! Let's order in for brunch." Cheyenne said, excusing herself from the tension filled room. She didn't go far though, she wanted to hear everything.
It was quiet for a few minutes and I had gone back to the couch. Cobe went back to his room. Cheyenne was in the kitchen, or somewhere. I had began scrolling through Instagram, as I do, when I got a text from Cobe.
Message from Cobe
Cobe
I didn't know
Sorry
Thank you, a lot.
& you're right, I keep
pushing you away and
you don't go anywhere.
Cobe
You're also right about Mo.
I know, but idc, I need to know
that he's ok
Q
Whatever you want to do,
I got u. Imma always b here
Cobe
U finally meeting my ppl
Q
Only if u want me to
Cobe
I do,
Cobe
Q, You're what I need
I sighed. Even though I think it's wrong to do so, I can't help but hang on to those words when he says them. But, I know him. He doesn't actually mean it. He can't.
Cheyenne found her way back to the living room and sat beside me. She looked down, "you know, I don't really know you. But, thank you. I haven't seen too many people react to Cobe like that."
"React? What do you mean?"
"I be feeling bad because It just seems like he gets pushed away a lot. He's different. I guess niggas just don't get him."
"Well, he doesn't really get the credit he deserves. He's fucked up, seen fucked up shit all his life. Been shitted on many times. Nevertheless , he does a good job at not putting that back out into the world. He slips up sometimes, we all do."
"But, I don't see him for what the past has done to him, or even the present. I see him. He don't even see him, but I do. And I hate to admit it, but I understand why he won't choose a guy like me— I won't make him either. Even if I gotta be his friend for the rest of my life, I'll do it because I want to be there for him; with him."
"That's beautiful."
I leaned forward, "he's listening."
And she busts out laughing. "You are so sweet, Quincy. You have such good energy! I neeeed!. " She smiled, "I have a son, Cecil the third, and I worry about him so much. He doesn't have a lot of good influences in his life. It's a lot of wrong people doing the wrong things and he's so observant. He picks up on everything. I have so much to learn to be able to raise my boy right. I want him to be a good boy. But, I don't want to spoil him. I been watching and paying attention to every man I meet. How he talks, how he walks. How he treats people, handles his emotions— I don't know which type of man my little Cecil is going to grow up to be. But, you're so in tune with yourself. I haven't seen or met a guy like you before. I hope he can be just a little like you."
"My only advice, as a non parent," he laughed, "is to love that little man and let him see love all around him. Let him be him, no matter what, be the one he can go to. I know a lot of dudes who don't have mothers and a lot of dudes who don't have a good relationship with either of their parents and it shows. They be wilding but it's because they're not at peace with themselves and they blame their mom and dad." He nodded his head, "the things niggas experience in childhood determines how they show up in the world as they grow."
"Damn. You know, that's something I never really thought about. My son's father is so disconnected when he's around but he's mostly not around. He just be running, constantly. I see that in Cobe too, more emotionally though. I hope he finds peace. I hope they both do."
"They will if they want it bad enough."
We sat in thought for a few moments until Cheyenne broke the silence. "So, what do you think? Should we go find his friend or leave it alone?"
"I think we should go. It might be hard, depending on who knows what, but it will make Cobe feel better. Even if it's just for the purpose of closure."
"M'yeah." She sighed, getting up from the couch. We walked to the back of the apartment to knock on Cobe's door but he opened it before we could. He'd gotten dressed and was already ready to walk out the door.
"You want to eat first or go over to Mo's house first?"
"I just want to go there. I can't think about anything else right now." Cobe said, buckling his seat belt in the driver seat of his very large truck. He didnt turn on any music or even a gps. We just sat in silence for the twenty minutes the ride lasted. We'd crossed over into Dearborn where the houses were overly large for the neighborhood but still beautifully built. The lawns were breathtaking and the cars were all high end.
He pulled into the driveway of an astonishing sand colored three story house that sat on the corner of the street. Chey and I looked at each other and I could feel the nervous energy radiating throughout the truck. "This is where he lives?" Chey asked.
"His parents." He said, surely. "I've never met them, but I've been in the car when Mo came by sometimes."
"Are you sure about this?"
"No. Come on." He mumbled, taking his seatbelt off and motioning for us to follow him, with his eyes.
We all met at the back of the truck where I patted Cobe on the shoulder for support. He took the lead and we walked up to the porch and rang the doorbell.
We stood there for two minutes before Cobe rang the doorbell again. This time, an older arab man opened the door. "Who are you?" He asked through the screen.
Cobe fumbled his words but ultimately told the man he was a friend of Mohammed Omir and had heard that he had been in an altercation but hadn't heard from him for a few days. The man let us in and led us to a bedroom in the rear of the first floor.
There, Mo had been doctored on and cleaned up, but the wound on the side of his head had left the entire face a bold dark purple color, caked up with a crimson red around the bandage.
"The doctor said he's going to die so we decided to let him rest peacefully in his old bedroom until he passes instead of racking up thousands of dollars in hospital fees just for them to do the same thing we're doing here for free." He explained. I'm not sure why, but he did.
"What happened?" Cheyenne asked. I watched her body language as she lingered in the doorway of the solemn bedroom. She was uneasy but she hid it well. I looked around the room noticing the posters on the walls from the early 2000's. There was a corner in the room that had a Cello case and a bass guitar. I wondered if he'd actually played them. I got lost in the decor and objects scattered neatly about the room while idly listening to the conversation between Cheyenne, whom did the most speaking, and Mohammed's father.
"He was shot in the head by a fella who knew him is what his friend told us. I always knew the gang violence would take my son." He let out a shaky breath, "just like Orion. He was only seventeen years old. Just a baby. At least Mohammed, made it past twenty-five." He sighed.
I continued to examine the room and watched Cobe from my peripherals. He'd turned a pale-ish color and seemed to not have looked away from Mohammed since we entered the room.
The old man who told us his name is Zafar and Chey and I introduced ourselves. Mo's father led us to the kitchen where his wife, Sakirat, offered us food. We sat and listened as the two told us more about Mohammed and his siblings. The two of them told us the hopes and dreams they had for each of their children. Hopes and dreams that will never come to fruition because of their premature unfortunate endings.
I could see Co reveling in the details of Mo's life that he'd always wanted to know— things he'd known if Mo had let him in and probably more-so if Co let Mo in. We were welcomed in as friends of a stranger and left knowing who this man really was. The best part, the most reassuring for sure was that Sakirat had heard of Kwabena. Her and her son had spoken of him many times and she mentioned that she was happy to be able to put a face to the name. I could see that that small piece had awakened something in Co, even though he'd never get to share the feeling with Mohammed, I'm glad I was able to witness it.
"Thank you, Chey." He said back in the truck. We had made it back to his apartment and we're sitting in the parking lot. "This was the best idea."
"I'm just sorry it wasn't better news." She sighed, squeezing his shoulder.
He shook his head and smiled as a tear rolled down his cheek, "he told his mom about me." He sniffed, the smile not leaving his face. He stared out the window for a few minutes, then looked at me and a another tear rolled down his face. I leaned in to give him a hug and when I let go, the glass on the window shattered and his face became saturated in blood. I could hear Cheyenne's screams and tires screeching but other than that, it was just white noise. It felt like a dream. Nothing like the movies when everything goes in slow motion. I didn't even have time to duck before it was already over. It was one hit and it didn't miss. Outside of the window I could see a tan pick-up speeding away.
"So you saw who it was?" Dame asked. I was surrounded by him, Cecil and Oz. Cheyenne was sitting on the other side of the room holding her son. When Co told me I was finally meeting his people, I'm sure he didn't imagine it'd look like this. The only person from his immediate circle who wasn't here was Cole.
"I only saw the truck. It was a tan ford pick-up."
"Who has a tan pick-up that knows Cobe, Cecil?"
"That nigga that was tryna fight Lonnie at your house."
"Exactly."
"I gotta call my uncle."
"Y'all talking about Mohammed?" Q asked.
"You know something else?"
"Who is Mohammed?" Oz asked.
"The dude that shot Lonnie. And Cobe's man."
"But, Mo is basically dead. So it wasn't him." Chey spoke up.
"That's who we were there to see. Cobe was worried about him because he hadn't heard from him a couple days." I said.
"And he's dead?" Dame asked.
"Not yet. I don't know what they doing to him, but he was just there like he was in a coma or something.  But, it was obvious that he was shot in the head."
"He was at the house?" Dame asked.
"Yeah, his parents' house. It was weird." Then I realized that it was weird. I looked over to Cheyenne and she, as if we shared a brain, gave me the same look.
Cheyenne gasped, "Them people set us up." She looked around, thinking. "They talked to us for a long time. Gave us food. His mom said Mo talked about him sometimes. So, she knew who he was. Maybe his dad didn't know because he was sweet but that woman?" She curled her lips, nodding frantically.
"Yeah, it was definitely planned. Maybe it was somebody from Mo's crew who blame Cobe. They killed him. They followed us from his parents house and killed Cobe."
"That's enough." Oz said, listening from the corner of the room. "This ain't a fucking TV show. This is my son. My only son. I understand you were his friend and you probably promised to keep secrets or whatever the fuck, but you need to go to the police."
"I can't."
"And why not?"
"I just can't."
"Man, fuck the Police. Uncle Mac and Jah can take care of it." Dame exclaimed.
"Don't you think the violence should stop here Damon! You're a father now. Shit like revenge and 'fuck the police' aren't things you should be on no more. They did what they did. Nobody can change it. Did killing Kwabena bring back Mohammed? Hell no. I'm his father and I say the shit stops here. All of you, go home. GO HOME. And if I see or hear anything that even makes me think you're up to some shit on behalf of my son, you gone know something."
"He was our brother, too. Oz we can't just leave you here like this."
"Then shit, at least talk about something else. I can't take all this drama shit tonight. My baby boy is gone."
"Anybody heard from Cole?"
Everyone shook their heads no. "It's been like three days."
"Last time I called it went straight to voicemail."
"Alright, something else. Please, y'all got my head spinning." He mumbled, leaving the front where we all were. We all watched as he left, probably all waiting for the same reason. As soon as his door closed, Dame opened his mouth to speak.
"So, what we gone do?"
"I think we should respect Oz wishes. He had enough of this in his lifetime. You know Cobe mom passed the same way." He whispered the last part. Cheyenne started crying which made C3 cry too.
The room was silent for a while. Everyone was to themselves in the family room. I decided to go to the restroom to get a moment to myself and walked past Oz's bedroom door where I could hear soft crying and him talking on the phone to someone. My heart broke for him, especially learning that Cobe's mom died the same way. I can't imagine what he must be feeling right now.
I returned to the family room where Dame was telling Cecil to stay here with his kid. He gestured toward me, "you coming with me?" He asked. I didn't know where he was going, but I agreed and followed him to his small compact car.
"So, what you not telling us?" He asked as soon as we turned the corner away from the house.
I told him what I knew just as I had with Cheyenne. It was an identical tale up until I got to the part where Cobe saw the video and it hit me.
"Damn. His phone, the police have his phone." I began to panic. Not that I was protective of him, but after learning Lonnie is Dame's brother, I realized what could happen.
"What's on the phone?" Dame asked, looking from me to the road and back.
"A video. Somebody been fucking with Cobe and they sent him a video. It starts with Cole and Lonnie, getting it on and then they stitched security footage from Cobe's building."
"What's on it?"
"Lonnie and Mo."
He scrunched up his face, "What they doing on it?"
"He shot him. In the head. Right there in the parking lot." His eyes grew bigger and he stomped on his breaks, almost running a red light.
"And it's on video?!"
I nodded.
"Shit!" He held his hand over his mouth, thinking. "Damn, that puts everything together. I gotta go take care of something. Where you live? I can drop you off?"
"I can't come?"
"Trust me, you don't want to." He mumbled. He passed me his phone. "Here, put your number in. I wanna catch up with you later on."
"I want you to know, we got you. You family to us now. You need anything, let me know."
And this is the part I never got to see. Kwabena's circle actually runs pretty deep. It's just a few of them, but they're strong together and welcoming. It was never that they weren't there for him or didn't understand him. They were and they did. But they all have many obstacles of their own. Even then, it doesn't stop them from joining together when needed. Although I've been accepted into Cobe's soul tribe, I can't help but feel that his blood is on my hands. I never got to see him like they see him. I'm starting to realize, I think I barely knew him.
He's a fire that burns but he also provides a light. He was a man of many sides. I'm learning that now just as I'd learned the same for Mohammed just hours ago. Co had a life outside of mine— I should've given him more grace and less judgment on when and why he came to me. It was a blessing to be thought of. A blessing to be considered a safe place for someone who never felt safe. I loved his company and I loved him, I should've let him know more often. He was never a burden— his presence wasn't a heavy chastening thing like I made it seem. I wanted him there and I needed him there.
I was there when he needed me most. I held him at his last moment. I felt his last breath. I won't ever forget a feeling like this one. It's like a lump in your throat but it never goes away. I've been holding my breath for fear of crying in front of people I don't know. I should've consoled Oz. And Cheyenne. She's been crying nonstop and I don't blame her.
Of all those in his life, I'm the one losing the least as I had the smallest piece of him. But, it feels like a big chunk of my life is missing. Rest In Peace, Kwabena.
You'll never be forgotten.